Shadow's Light

by Nicola Claire

  “I hate you,” I said matter of factly.

  He shrugged. “You don't have to like me, Ms. Monk. You just have to join with me.” He re-scored his palm, as it had already healed and handed me the knife hilt first. There was no need to force me now.

  I took it in an unwavering hand and sliced my palm, gritting my teeth through the stinging pain. I didn't clasp his offered hand immediately, just watched the swell of my Nosferatin blood as it welled up to the surface of the cut. So potent, so desired. It was red like any other blood, but it was different. Different from Amisi's. Different from Gigi's. Different form all other Nosferatin. It was mine and it should have been my choice to give it away.

  Just like a vampire feeding from an unwilling donor, I felt preyed upon. I have never subscribed to the notion of being a victim and I was not about to start now. I looked up and met Avery's eyes and said in a whisper only he could hear, “You have no idea what you are playing with.” It was a threat, albeit a subtle one. But the responding widening of his eyes told me he had heard the threat as clear as day. Good. Because I would not be an easy kindred. Hell, he was signing a contract with the devil right now. Maybe not the horned, trident bearing devil, but a devil all the same.

  Who said Light-filled Nosferatin couldn't play tough?

  I clasped his hand before his cut had a chance to fully heal and felt the rush of my power leaving me, washing into Avery. His head got thrown back, his lips parted in a silent gasp and his eyes closed with the onslaught that was my Nosferatin life force. I felt his Sanguis Vitam surrounding us, my Light responded without consent. Entwining with his power, enhancing it, bolstering it. Making it more than it was before.

  And then, like it had with Michel when we had joined, I felt the undeniable pull towards the vampire who held my hand. A base desire to stay close. To protect. To stand shoulder to shoulder with. I fought it. In my mind I kicked and screamed and scratched. I fought like a wild cat. I hissed, I bared my cat-like fangs. I arched my back and fluffed up my fur and I swore I would not embrace the man before me. I would not give in to the desire to hold him. To care for him. To give him more than I had already forsaken of me. Even as he healed me, as a joined kindred vampire could easily do. Even as his healing touch repaired my fractured ribs and sealed my punctured lung. Even as he did that without being aware he was making me whole again, I fought the desire to be close. I fought it, Goddess help me, I fought it with every fibre of my being, but it still wasn't enough.

  A joining between two kindreds is designed to make both stronger. Alone they become weak, together they stay strong and can achieve more than apart. We would be able to manage a few days away from each other, but not more before our strength failed and we became weak. It wouldn’t require much to renew the connection, but it would be necessary on a regular basis.

  And we would not be able to deny going to the other when needed. No matter how much I hated him, when Avery called for me I would feel obliged to respond. He pulled me close against his chest now and wrapped both arms around my body. I couldn't fight it, even though my mind rebelled. But my hand did find my discarded second stake and wrapped around it.

  The joining made it impossible to pull away, but it didn't affect my mind. I couldn't reach his heart, but I didn't want to anyway. If I staked him in the heart now I would die. I hadn't joined with him to commit suicide moments later. But I could send a message home with a little painful force.

  The stake slid into the side of his neck severing his carotid artery in one smooth move. Avery broke the embrace, not me.

  “Fuck!” he gurgled, his mouth filling with blood and his hands grasping at the stake. “What the fuck?”

  I sprang back with more than a little preternatural speed and grace. Surprising myself in the smooth, cat-like motion. I hadn't been that graceful when I had been joined with Michel. Maybe I had gained a little extra with this joining to Avery now. I refused to think about it. I refused to let the joining be more than an inconvenient curse. Inconvenient to me and a curse to him.

  “Don't ever try that again,” I spat at him as he struggled to stem the blood flow now the stake had fallen free of his skin. He glared at me and if looks could kill as they say, I would be dead. Fine. We knew where we each stood. I could deal with that.

  “Ah, the dramatics of joinings. Is it no wonder I refuse to join?” The Champion's words interrupted our little glaring contest. The tittering laughter of her sycophant Council members ringing through the room. I turned to look at her.

  She was glowing, really glowing. And so was the Keeper. My power was thrumming through their veins. I felt disgusted. I hated her. If Nut hadn't placed a connection between us that forbade our killing one another, she would have been already dead.

  “Well, all this blood and excitement has made me hungry. Shall we retreat to the dining hall and feed, while this new family comes to grips with their altered dynamics?” The Champion waved a hand indicating in one vague motion, Michel, Avery and me. Before she left, she turned directly to Avery. “You are reinstated to the Council. Welcome back.”

  I watched in stunned silence as the Council and guards exited the room. So Avery was the missing Council seat, but the Champion hadn't announced his title, so I had no idea of knowing what his role would be. As soon as the door closed behind them I ran to Michel, ignoring Avery still swearing and muttering on the floor. Ignoring the question of his Council role blaring in my head.

  Michel looked pale and strained and I was betting he was in excruciating pain. But, he took hold of my hand and clasped it firmly. I looked at his chest and the stake still protruding from it and then flicked my gaze up to Michel's. Tears had started streaming down my cheeks.

  “Call Alain to you,” I managed to get out between silent sobs. Michel would need a level one Sanguis Vitam vampire to remove the stake. I couldn't do it, I couldn't protect him and keep the stake stable enough through removal to miss his heart.

  “He is already on his way, ma douce,” Michel replied calmly, although how he managed it I did not know. “You did well, ma belle.” His face was sad as he said it.

  “I'm still yours, Michel.” It felt like only words when I said them, but to a vampire words have more meaning than to the rest of us. It must have worked, because his smile was genuine. Relief, love and to a certain extent, peace. Had he worried I wouldn't feel the same after joining?

  Alain and Daniel came tearing through the door, with Marcus and Matthias on their heels. The latter standing guard at the the entrance to the room. Daniel keeping an eye on Avery as Alain pushed past me to inspect the damage to his master.

  I sat back and let him do his magic. Michel refusing to let go of my hand.

  I didn't watch, I couldn't. But I felt every single ounce of pain Michel did. I felt it like it was my own. And like him, I didn't utter a sound.

  When it was over and Michel who was still so weak, was finally able to be moved, I looked at Avery. My new kindred vampire. I had no idea where he lived. I had no idea what he would do now. And quite frankly, I didn't give a toss.

  I turned to follow Michel as his vampires helped him from the room.

  “Ms. Monk,” Avery said cutting across my thoughts. “I hope you don't think you can just walk away from me. We are joined.”

  I huffed out a breath in a harsh laugh. “I was there too, Avery, it was hard to miss the joining part.”

  “So where are you going?” he demanded.

  “Home with my husband.” I could hardly call Michel my kindred anymore, even though he was more of a kindred to me than Avery ever could be.

  “I don't think so. You are mine now.”

  And oh, didn't that make me laugh harder. I turned away from the now halted procession of vampires heading out the door, aware that all of them, including Michel, had their eyes on me.

  “Let's get a few things straight, shall we kindred,” I said striding towards Avery and poking him hard in the chest. “I am joined to you and nothing else. I am not yours. You are
not mine. I will come to you every three days to reconfirm our connection, so we do not grow weak. That is the only obligation I have to you. I hate you. I despise you. I will tolerate you, because to do otherwise would be to condemn myself.” Every point had been punctuated by another finger poke at his chest. “Are. We. Clear?”

  His lips twitched in mild amusement which only made my teeth grind harder.

  “Oh, on this we are crystal clear, Ms. Monk.” Huh, perhaps he wasn't going to be a prick after all.

  I straightened my shoulders and turned on my heel to leave, catching Michel's satisfied smiled.

  “Just one more thing, Ms. Monk.” I couldn't have stopped the roll of my eyes to save myself.

  “What?” I said without turning around.

  “If you are not on my side, you are therefore my enemy. Do not get in my way. I don't play by the rules, Ms. Monk, and I know where all your loved ones live.”

  My breath caught in my throat as I met Michel's eyes before me. I didn't respond to Avery, what could I say? I let Michel ground me, stop me from floating away with the sudden impact of all that fear at Avery's threat, and just took a deep breath in.

  “Come on,” I said taking Michel's hand again, “let's go home.”

  He smiled, lifted my hand up to his lips and kissed it slowly while he held my gaze.

  Home. Even thinking of going home with Michel was enough to push Avery from my mind for now.

  Home. I couldn't wait.

  Chapter 37

  Home Is Where My Heart Is

  Michel slept the entire flight home, his head in my lap. James fussed about us, bringing me refreshments and making sure I wanted for nothing. I was the hero bringing the master home.

  I didn't feel like a hero. James didn't know I had joined with someone else. All he knew, being a human servant and nothing more, was that Michel was with me and I was him. It was the basis of what our relationship now stood for. We were no longer joined kindred, that had been taken from us. But, they couldn't take our love of each other away.

  We loved each other despite the loss of a joining. We loved each other despite the fact that I was joined to someone else. Despite the fact that Michel was no longer the Master of Auckland City. Despite the fact that he now worked for the Iunctio. An organisation I despised. Back with the political machinations of the Champion. Back where he had sworn he would never go again.

  The Champion had let us leave Paris and return to New Zealand, but we knew our respite would not last forever. She may have been prepared to use Michel as bait to get me hooked, to get me where she wanted me. But, she wasn't prepared to lose her assassin and spy. She'd worked too hard to get Michel back, there was no way she'd forget about him now.

  The portals had remained open, much to the surprise and utter shock of the Iunctio and especially the Keeper. I received some satisfaction, before we left Paris for home, that the Keeper was being hounded by the Champion. She blamed him for the failure of my power boost in closing the portals to Álfheimr. He had promised it would work. She felt let down. I couldn't think of a better payback for the vampire who had staked Michel, to be dealing with the Champion's wrath.

  They would remain open too. Michel had made sure of that. But, he would need to be back in Paris before the month was out in order to reinforce the intricate spells he had cast. He would also need to constantly watch them for signs of wear and tear. No matter what, we were now connected to the Iunctio. Through Michel's position. Through the necessity of keeping the portals open. Through my tie to Avery and his, yet unknown, role on the Council.

  I hated it, but I tried not to think too deeply about it as we winged our way back home.

  Jett met us at the airport. The new Master of the City greeting the former Master of the City. I thought it would be awkward. Our vampires exited the plane at Michel's request, but I stayed at his side as Jett boarded. It wasn't awkward though. In the privacy of the cabin Jett went down on one knee, fisted hand across chest and head bowed low.

  It should have been the other way around. Michel bowing to the current Master of the City. But, Jett was loyal to Michel, as Marcus and Matthias had been too. It brought a lump to my throat, seeing the big, powerful vampire so moved at the survival of his former master and boss.

  There was no way to return the title or position, Jett was now Master of Auckland City until he died. If Michel was saddened by that fact, he didn't show it. Face forward, onwards and all that crap. But, I couldn't help thinking he must be. He had come out to New Zealand, to the New Land, when he had heard of the Prophesy I am part of. It had been said that the Prophesied, that would be me, would be born in the New Land. No date, but a promise it would happen here. So, Michel had given up a privileged life in Paris and moved to the antipodes. Waiting for me.

  I never, ever believed Auckland could belong to another. Auckland was Michel. Michel was Auckland. He had made it what it was today. It was as much his home as it was mine. We shared a house here. Memories. Clashes. Life. But now, as we followed Jett off the plane and into the wintry night in the City of Sails, it didn't feel like home. It just felt like any other city, in any other country. Filled with Light and Dark, struggling to stay afloat in the swamp of preternatural creatures that existed here. I was this city's Nosferatin when I left for Paris. I suddenly felt like Auckland had either disowned me, or I had disowned it.

  It wasn't a nice feeling.

  It took Michel three days to fully recover. His presence enough to control the vampires formerly of his line. Jett had not had to follow through on his promise. He had still not taken any of Michel's vampires under his own line. The plan was for Michel to take those who wanted it back under his wing and offer those who didn't, his blessing and release. We'd calculated a fifty percent retention rate. Which kind of made sense. Some vampires would simply feel compelled to go solo. Some had started their existence alongside Jett under their former master Jock's line. But, despite the loss of numbers, the Durand line would still be an imposing force. It had been, before Jock's line was combined with Michel's, it would be again.

  I spent much of those days at Michel's side as he recovered. But I also managed to check up on Gigi. She hadn't taken to her new life well. Despite the fact that Samson had dedicated himself to supporting her, and Doug had altered her hours at Sensations, so she could still work, but after the sun set. She was full of anger and Dark and it worried me. I didn't know how to reach her. How to help her. Other than to teach her how to hunt and fight. I resolved to spend the next few weeks concentrating on making her strong enough to fight her own battles. Because I was positive she wouldn't let me or Samson fight them for her.

  The afternoon before a celebration to welcome Michel home was scheduled, with the intention of also discussing how the lines would progress from here, I lay myself down on our bed at St. Helier's Bay, with Michel at my side. And I Dream Walked to Avery. Neither Michel nor I wanted to do it. He held me in his arms as I let myself fall into that black void of nothingness and follow the simple but constant pull towards my joined kindred. It was stronger than I had expected. Not Bond strong, I doubted we'd ever have that. But as much as I hated Avery, a part of me had liked him at one stage too.

  He had saved me from trying to kill myself. Twice. He had tried to offer me something other than despair to focus on while I grieved Michel's death. He had taught me to recognise the Fey. To defend myself against them using my Light as a shield. He had desired me, like a man desires a woman.

  But even as I came to in what was obviously his home, I told myself I hated him. He had also held me captive for an entire day. Fed from me painfully and then planned to do to me whatever the hell his vampire chose. Extenuating circumstances? Perhaps. But, he had still held me captive. And after Lutin, the memories of why Avery had kept me restrained were no longer so clear.

  I hated him. I certainly did not trust him. But, I needed to reconnect with him all the same.

  “Ms. Monk, you should have phoned first.” His voice actually
sounded alarmed. I turned to find him in bed, naked. And not alone. A shape hiding under the bed covers next to him, as though the person had been quickly covered as soon as I appeared.

  OK. I had walked into that one. I shrugged and noticed him watching my every move.

  “You can see me?” I asked, puzzled.

  I was Dream Walking, even though we were joined, he shouldn't have been able to see me at all. The human woman beside him in bed wouldn't be able to. Even if she wasn't covered up by a sheet. In the exact moment I thought that, the woman moved and pulled the sheet down over her head to see what all the fuss was, no doubt. Avery attempted to cover her again, but failed.

  And then I realised, she wasn't a woman at all. The body next to him was a handsome young teenage boy. I frowned in confusion, Avery swore under his breath and the young man just looked around in a daze trying to find who it was Avery had been conversing with and coming up blank.

  A guy. Avery had a guy in his bed. Avery, the sexed-up, flirtatious, incorrigible vampire I thought I knew, had a naked man in his bed. Memories flicked through my mind in rapid succession. Every time Avery had been close to me, but failed to follow through sexually. Every feeding I had found him at with both a female and male by the fang. I had assumed it was always the female who had turned him on, but had I really seen what was going on? Or had I just assumed.

  Oh. Ohhhhh. Now I get it.

  It wasn't my body he had wanted to possess. It had been my power all along. And even when he had appeared turned-on by me, it had all been an act.

  Man, did I feel like an idiot and strangely, a little miffed. Huh.

  My eyes flicked up to Avery's and in slow motion, I watched him come to a conclusion of sorts. He shrugged his shoulders in acceptance of the fact I now knew and simply pushed the young man under the covers in a blatant move to embarrass me, as the guy got to work on Avery's erection right before my eyes. I made sure not to look below his chin.