by Bry Ann
“She did? Then why isn’t she here? Why are you telling me that?”
“You haven’t answered any of my questions, so why should I answer any of yours?”
“King, don’t be like that. Be nice.”
I slowly walk over and wrap my arms around my older brother. King needs love. If there’s one thing to know about Kingston, it’s no matter how much of a jerk he is, you have to just love him. It’s the people who are the meanest and the toughest who need the most love, right? People like me, well, I feel love everywhere. In all the little things, the little cracks and crevices. King doesn’t. He needs extra, he needs enough to spill over, because he doesn’t feel it anywhere it’s not explicitly earned. I know he does everythin’ he does for a reason, even if it’s totally nuts. He’s a protector at heart, and he’s always lettin’ that overshadow everythin’ else.
“Butterin’ me up ain’t gonna work, Iris,” he mutters, wrapping a large arm around me.
“I’m not tryin’ to. I just love you. I missed you so much.”
I squeeze him tighter, feelin’ my heart well with pain. If King was there, if King knew what happened to me… he’d scour this country to get vengeance for me. And since it’s been served, he’d scower this country to get me help. I’m not tryin’ to play the victim, I know better, but it is hard shoulderin’ this without family. Kingston may be one big jerk, but he’s really one of the best men I know.
At my words, King softens completely, for the first time since I’ve been home. He pulls me in tighter and wraps me in his arms. The saying “actions speak louder than words” is pretty much what he lives by.
“I love you, Iris.” Then his voice drops to a small whisper, only to be shared between us. “But I know you’re lyin’, and I’m gonna find out why.” With that, he pulls away. He holds my shoulders for a minute longer, almost like he’s tryin’ to see if I’m okay. If I’m steady.
How does he know everything?! I don’t have to tell him anythin’. He always just knows.
“King, let me go.”
He drops his hand. For a moment, I think I’m gonna cry. My eyes pound with pressure. What’s worse is that I feel Kingston inspecting me. You’d think that would stop the feelings, the pain screamin’ louder in my finger, but it doesn’t. Here I am in front of the person who’s always kept me safe, and he has no clue what happened, and I can’t tell him.
“Anywhere good in town to eat? I’m hungry,” Derek cuts in from right behind me.
Thank you, Derek!
I jerk back and slide in front of Derek instead of King. Instantly, my emotions get back in check. Whewww…
“Yes! There’s Davies off Third and Reggies off Ninth. There’s not much food here, but Davies serves the best burgers and Reggies has the best—” “I need to talk with Derek,” King interrupts without a care for social etiquette.
“King,” I groan.
“No, it’s fine, Iris,” Derek says easily. “I was expecting it.”
I look wide eyed between the two men who are now making intense, dark eye contact. A shiver runs down my spine. I know this look on King and it scares me, but I’ve only ever seen Derek look this way once. When the FBI came down to save me and arrest the men responsible. The men Derek had been undercover to stop.
“You were?”
“Yes, Texas. Go say hi to the rest of your family. I’ll google restaurants all on my own.”
His lip twitches. I don’t fully know why, but I know he finds our whole town funny. Again, don’t fully know why, but I’m guessin’ he’s a total city boy, so this all must be different.
“Y-you sure?” I chew on my first four finger nails. King’s eyes immediately snap to that, and so do Derek’s.
“Iris, we’re just talking,” King says softly. “It’s fine. Go see Mom, Pop, Hunt, Blythe, and Jay. We’ve all missed you.”
“You missed me?” I ask, feigning innocence, looking up at him from under my eyelashes. He knows I’m just messin’ with him. Well, kinda. It is really good to hear King say he misses me, he loves me, because he’s just so cold all the time.
“You know I did,” King states flatly, eyes becoming clouded. He always does that. It’s like he can’t admit he loves me without throwing up all his guards.
“Well, it’s good to hear you say it sometimes,” I mumble.
He grunts. That’s all I get.
“Fine, fine. I’ll go. Happy?”
King’s lip quirks up a bit and Derek full out laughs.
“No one’s happy you’re leaving, Texas.”
“I’m sure you’re not. You have to talk to Kingston alone.”Derek laughs, King coughs. I know he’s covering a laugh, but goodness forbid he actually just let loose.
“Go see Blythe, Iris.”
“Fine, jerk brother.”
To be stubborn, I stick my tongue out at both of them before walking out.
“She’s ten?” Derek practically asks King, like he’s not actually sure of my age.
“I assure you, she’s 25. I’m sure that’ll make you feel better,” King states dryly.
As I waddle through the crops outside the house, I feel my cheeks heat and a tiny smile spreads over my cheeks. Does he like me too? No, he’s in the FBI. But still, he’s glad I’m a grown woman. That has to mean something, right? Ugh, I’m so doomed.
“Oh, you are crushin’ so hard, Iris Jane!”
I leap back, not expecting to see anyone for at least another mile.
“Blythe!” I gasp.
She smirks. “Yep, I saw that. You were all dreamy eyed. Did he kiss you?”
“Wh-what? No! O-of course not! You’re being ridiculous.”
My heart squeezes painfully in my chest. That’s what Wes said all the time. I’m ridiculous. After hearing it enough times, I finally started to realize I am just that… ridiculous. Hunter, Jay, and King threatened to kick his ass for that, for always belittling me, but I begged them not to. That was one of the few times they listened to me. I still don’t know why, but I’m grateful. I don’t want anyone being mean to Wes. We were together a long time.
“Oh, tsk, tsk, Iris. He totally did.”
“Only on the cheek,” I confess, cheeks reddening. “And not now, earlier.”
“Really?” Blythe frowns. “Hmm, I’m disappointed. P.S. Sorry I couldn’t stop Kingston. I tried, but he’s an asshole and, well, it was out of my hands.”
“It’s fine. Totally fine.”
Totally, completely, utterly fine that King is alone with Derek right now. I’m sure it’s all fine.
Fine. Fine. Fine.
“Wanna spy on ‘em?”
My head snaps up. “What?”
Blythe grins. I know that face. Uh-oh. She’s nothin’ but trouble.
That’s why I love her.
“We can’t, Blythe!”
“Oh, come on, King layin’ down the law to your FBI friend/lover. I gotta see that. Don’t deny me my fun, Iris!”
“Blythe,” I groan.
“Yayy, it’ll be fun! Follow me.”
She snatches my hand and drags me at a full run across the field. Geez, not even two minutes in and my lungs are on fire. I’ve been away from the farm for far too long. By the time Blythe drags me up to the secret spot in the attic where there’s a crack revealing the floor below, I feel like I have no air left in my lungs.
“Stop breathing so hard, you wuss,” Blythe whisper-hisses. “They’re gonna hear us.”
She plants her ear on the wooden floor. I go back and forth, but as bad as it is, I’m so curious. So once again, I follow my wild best friend’s insane lead.
“What are you doing here with my sister?” King’s arms cross over his chest, muscles flexing. “Iris is naive; I’m not.”
Jerk.
“She told you everything.” King rolls his eyes. “Do you take me for an idiot?”
“Do you take me for one? Really, Kingston. You think it’s not painfully obvious to me that you’re involved in something shady? I’ve b
een doing my job for a long time. Don’t screw with me. I’m not gonna hurt your sister.”
My mouth falls open. King’s not into anything shady! Why would Derek say that? I look up at Blythe, jaw still slack, expecting her to share my shock. My curiosity and anger. That’s not at all what I find. Blythe has gone deadly still, like a robot.
“Blythe? Blythe?” I whisper loudly.
“We need to go,” Blythe says immediately, shuffling up and snatching my arm.“What, no! Blythe.”
I try to snag my arm away, but Blythe is much stronger than me. She’s practically dragging me across the floor.
THUD! A loud bang echoes from the floor below us.
“Shut up up there, you’re spying too loud,” shouts Derek in an amused voice. The noise makes Blythe drop my arm, so I scramble over and look down to see King holding another two books in his hand, with one is by his feet. Clearly the one he threw. Derek’s eyes are sparkling up at me.
“Find out anything good?”
King looks deadly. I don’t know how else to describe it. Given the look on his face, I lie, a horrible feeling settling in my gut.
What if… what if Carson’s death wasn’t an accident?
“No,” I croak. “I-I didn’t hear anything.”
I slide back toward Blythe to go back downstairs, since we were caught.
“You lied,” Blythe says, studying me, more serious than I’ve ever seen or heard her in a long time.
“Yes,” I whisper. “I-I lied.”
Again.
Three Days Later
“So tell me,” I laugh, kicking my feet around in the water off the edge of our dock by the small lake. Derek looks so hot. His sleeves are rolled up, little beads of sweat on his forehead, all glistening… okay, I need to stop. Slow. Down. Iris. “Craziest story that I’m allowed to know.”
He snorts. “There’s not many.”
“That’s okay. It only takes one to make me laugh.” He chuckles, looking down at the water like it may grant him peace.
“If I tell you, I get to ask you a question next.”
“Deal!”
“One time I was on a job, undercover.” He glances at me. “Can’t tell you more than that, hun.”
“It’s fine.”
I smile to reassure him and take a sip of lemonade, urging him to continue. His eyes brighten. His eyes are so much lighter than they were when he got here. That makes me so happy, because I know a little piece of that is me.
“They asked me to get Skip. Being the idiot I am, I’m thinking Skip is a dog, right? Yeah, no. I went to the room they said he’d be in. I walked in and said ‘come on out, buddy’ whilst tapping my thighs, I may add. Yeah, it was most definitely his wife. She walked out in a full ball gown while I was hunched over, tapping my thighs, calling out for her like a puppy.”
I spit my lemonade all over the pier. I’m wheezing, I’m laughing so hard.
“That did not happen!”
“Unfortunately, it did. One of the most embarrassing moments of my life.”
“Oh my God, my cheeks hurt!”
I fall backwards on the dock, clutching my stomach.
“It all hurts.”
“It’s not that funny, Texas,” Derek says smiling, leaning over me.
“Oh, but it is!”
Tears are streaming down my cheeks, but it doesn’t matter. I have no makeup on. The sun covers that for me just fine. I open my eyes, still watery from laughing, and feel it. Thump. The very distinct moment our eyes lock. The cord of friendship snaps into something else, something bigger. Thump. My heart picks up speed.
“D-Derek,” I whisper, panicked.
“Shhh,” he places a finger over my lips. “I’m gonna kiss you, Iris. Okay?”
I nod. My heart is really hammering now. Oh my God. Oh my God.
He leans over me, lips brushing against my mine.
Thump. Thump! Thump! “Iris?”
Both of us snap up at the sound of Hunter’s voice.
“Oh shit!” he curses. “Oh fuck, Iris, I’m sorry.”
He throws his hands over his eyes, which even in the moment makes me laugh. Hunter is nearly as tough as King. He’s like his right-hand bud, so this is funny.
“Shit, uh, just continue.”
With that, my big, muscly brother runs off. I’m an internal wreck, laughing at Hunt’s reaction, nervous and shaky from the almost kiss, anxious about what comes next.
“Damn it.”
Derek runs a hand through his stringy black hair and pushes off me. I try to ignore the way my heart sinks. Try being operative word.
“S-sorry,” I whisper. I don’t really know what I did, but I’m sorry for the awkwardness of this all. I’m sorry I’m not better at handling it. I want to run into the lake and hide under the peaceful blue-green waters.
“What are you sorry for, hun? You did nothing wrong.”
I shrug, feeling my eyes burn.
“Hey, I still get a question,” Derek teases, nudging my side, tryin’ to lighten things up.
“Yeah?” I whisper, risking a glance at him.
He taps my nose. “Yep, I do.”
“Okay.”
I’m able to breath again. He’s not running away. I didn’t lose him. He’s not being a typical boy and leaving me on my own ‘cause things got weird. He’s a better man.
“What’s your question?”
“Hmm, I have two.”
“Hey, I only got one story!”
“I’m greedy?” He give me a totally fake sheepish look.
“Cheater,” I groan. “You know I’m too nice to you and I’ll let you ask.”
“Not when you hear them,” he says, suddenly solemn.“Uh-oh, why are you tryin’ to ruin the moment?”
“I’m not, but I’m curious about a few things.”
“Go on.” I roll my eyes and turn away from him.
“How are you coping with everything?”
I knew that was comin’, so it doesn’t catch me off guard.
“Honestly?”
“Of course, I want you to be honest.”
He playfully shoves me, but apparently overestimates his strength, or my weakness, because I nearly topple off the side of the pier.
“Ah!” I scream at the top of my lungs as I roll sideways, feeling the ledge dig into my rib. I’m certain I’m gonna fall over when a strong hand grips my forearm then my waist and tugs me back up. I roll onto my back, eyes big and wide, starin’ at the clear blue sky. Thump. Thump. Thump. My heart is beating so fast.
“Are you okay? I meant that to be playful, but damn, I almost pushed you over the edge!”
“I hate fish. If one of them rubbed against me with their scales, I would have been spittin’ mad!”
I glance over at him. He’s leaning over me, eyes dancin’ with amusement, but also concern.“Seriously, are you okay?”
“Yeah, no fish scales, no slime, so all is good.”
I push myself up to seated and run my hands down my sundress to fix it.
“So anyway, you were askin’ about how I was copin’. I’m alright. It’s hardest around King. He’s my big brother and admittedly, I’ve always counted on him to keep me safe. I hate lyin’ to everyone, but I think it’s hardest around King if I had to choose. Especially because I feel like he sees into my soul and knows I’m lyin’ to him.” “What’s up with him and your friend?” “Blythe?” I ask, confused. “Yeah.”
My eyebrows crease. “Huh? What do you mean? Blythe is my best friend. King’s my brother, so they see each other all the time. Is that what you mean?”
Derek busts out laughing. “Oh my God! I truly believe you are my favorite person.”
He stops laughing for a moment to see my face. When he sees I’m serious, he kicks back on the pier and clutches his stomach, laughing harder.
“You’re just lovely, Iris.”
I lean over him, face scrunched, and poke his nose.
“What’s so funny?”
�
�You.”
I roll my eyes. “Besides me.”
“You really don’t see it?”
“See what?”
“Kingston and Blythe’s obvious feelings for each other. Their history, if you will.”
“History? Feelings? Derek,” I laugh, “you are soooooooo far off track here. Blythe, my Blythe, hates Kingston. Well, not hate, but she really doesn’t like him. Kingston, my brother Kingston. Have you met him? I’m not sure he’s capable of catchin’ feelings for a woman. Let alone now. He’s not ready. He’ll be with the girl who loves easily and fully, without condition. That is not Blythe.”
Derek smirks. “We’ll see.”
“You’re crazy.”
His smirk deepens, eyes lighting up. His hand drifts up to trace my cheek slowly, carefully, exploring the softness of my skin. I can do nothing but freeze, heart pounding in my chest. He makes me feel like a twelve year old with a crush, versus a full grown woman.
“You’re a beautiful woman, Iris.”
I swear my cheeks go from sunburn to full blush in an instant.
“N-n-no, I-I’m not.”
Derek’s hand clamps down over my mouth.
“Yes, you are. I say you are. I’m an officer of the law. Are you challenging me, Iris?”
His eyes are twinkling with humor. He’s kidding, I know he is, but I swear to goodness my heart does not feel like this is a joke. It feels like it’s gonna beat right out of my chest onto his flat stomach. Not to mention the tingles. Oh my gosh, the need spreading everywhere.
I shake my head back and forth quickly since his hand is still clamped down tightly over my mouth.“Good.” He lets my mouth go. “So what are you, Iris?”
I look down at my thighs. “Beautiful,” I murmur, making sure not to look at him.
“Use it in a sentence, doll.”
Heart squeeze. “I’m beautiful,” I whisper.
His thumb comes under my chin, as he moves to be seated. My eyes meet his.
“Good girl. Yes, you are.”
“Iris, what are you doing?”
“Me?”
Hunter smirks, placing one hand on the tree I’m currently danglin’ upside down from.
“No. The tree. His name is also Iris.”
“Hey, who says she’s a boy?”