by John Panella
How can I ignore this? I then decided to write down what I could remember the chief had told me even if it was a dream, and then let the chips fall where they may.
It has now been nearly one year since some of my memory returned in late 1990. Every day I walk around like a soul who has lost their only friend. I felt the chief and I were very close, as if he was part of my heart.
I have never attempted to return to the place of our meeting, even though it seemed all too real it had to be a dream. So chances of there really being a place like this, were slim and none.
I guess maybe it is because deep down I didn’t want to find out that it was not real, and there was no doorway to the past. Even though I know it had to be a dream. I want to believe it really happened.
I know that seems like utter nonsense, but having this type of information and realizing the magnitude of it, is quite daunting, even if it was a dream, where did it come from, what are dreams anyway?
You know the old saying, pinch me to see if I am awake or dreaming. I guess I am afraid that if I am pinched I will feel it, and it will prove none of this was real. I felt like a great friend was missing when I thought about the dream encounter with the chief. I have tried my best to remember everything I could about this dream, and sadly, there is so much lacking therefore there truly is no story.
I do not remember most of what happened and probably never will. My entire experience had to do with information about life and death, and where we came from and why we are here. Most people just never seem to ask the simple questions.
And lo and behold I received all of this information and now I can hardly remember a damn thing. As my mind tore itself apart over these wickedly strange memories, I began to slowly remember a little more about the doorway into the past.
I do not know if modern science allows for such things, but to think about it, it’s really cool. But how is it possible to walk through a door and enter another time?
Are their truly doors like this on this world? Is there a lot of them? And why was this door opened directly to a soul that was connected to me? As I pondered what I just thought.
“Yes that is what he said, we were connected.”
I had to stop myself again, Tim, it was just a dream. There are no doorways into the past or future, just realize it was a dream. Yet my mind would not let it go. I asked myself, if others would be able to see this door, could they also walk through it?
I just don’t have the answers. My mind was living through a daydream as I tried to make sense at what I was shown. And yet what plagues me even till this day, how is it that I was shown things that my own intellect and knowledge would not be aware of. Can I be sure these things were revealed to me?
He told me that we were stuck in a time-loop. I do recall that. He said, due to the wobble in the earth, the time machine is out of sync and therefore does not operate via the ages as before, now we are stuck in a never-ending trap.
I can’t even fathom how that is possible. And yet I remember one of the questions I asked him, ‘What happened to the lost past, the ages that have come and gone prior?’ Why would I ask that, what did he tell me? Damn!
It is obvious this world is very old, maybe millions and even billions of years old. Where did the lost past go, where is our lost history, and for that matter what is the lost history?
These were strange thoughts buzzing through the grey matter of my brain and yet I could not correlate them with why I wondered about these things. What does it mean, a lost history, all very strange indeed?
Another memory… The events of this world we have been given are duplicates, same events brought back into the past. The chief told me privately that all past events of our history are unknown to us today because of the great ruse.
I sit here day after day and ponder this dream and I am starting to shake demonstrably, feeling that if this was only a dream, then dreams are real, real enough to be super imposed on what we call reality. I remembered him telling me that most of our myths are actually based on what is truth, and most of our sacred beliefs are often myths.
He said something about a great cataclysm that will remove large masses of people. And it had something to do with the sun, moon and stars, I think. This became another trigger… Astronomically aligned, ah the universal clock. I seem to recall him telling me the world would lose billions of people.
Now I ask myself the question, we have over five and half billion people on this earth as of this date 1991. Are these all lost souls? Wait another memory, the Chief told me that there would be upwards to eight billion people when the shift occurs. That has to be decades of years away to produce that many people right?
I just can’t recall in what context all of this was stated. How does the world lose billions of people and why? And what did he mean about time moving backwards and the shift?
I guess maybe I need to do some more searching to learn a little more about physics, to see if anyone else may rectify the potential validity of this strange enigma. This stuff was way over my head, so I didn’t really know how to begin my quest.
He told me the earth operates on an energy grid, that it is a holographic illusion. Oh God that’s right, ‘a holographic illusion’, I remember this. Everything inside this grid works and operates from this energy.
What he told me was when the Earth shifts back the entire Earth energy axis is changed. Everything begins to revert back to the past. I asked the chief, why is this allowed to occur, I guess I really believed him, but in my mind right now, none of it makes any sense. I feel as though I need to take a break from all of this, by brain is convulsing.
I have been non-stop thinking about this since my wife and I went to see the, ‘Back to the Future trilogy.’ And I seriously needed to take a break. I just happened to be watching a news program and the journalist made the statement, “Well that is a 360˚ about face.”
I laughed at that because what she meant to say was an 180˚ about face. I sat there and laughed until another trigger was activated. 360˚ that means something!
I then began to remember, that I also asked him about the 360 day time machine or something like that, or 360˚, I asked, you mean adding these 5.25 days a year messes things up that badly? What could that have been all about, what does 5 ¼ days mean and what is it that is messing up?
I recall these words, “it was due to a malfunction and the earth time machine is not functioning properly, and this is the effect of this anomaly. It is now stuck in this half age time-loop.” What in the hell does that mean, half age time-loop?
I finally finished putting together what I could remember, I had no idea what to call it, and so I named it, “Panem Vitae”. Hmm, I even wondered, what does that mean if anything, but I recall that he mentioned this allot?
I began to advertise this information on a few small alternative radio programs. I feel like I spent most of my time defending my character and who I am. I told people it was just a dream, nothing more but I found it interesting. However not having all the information as to what I learned in this dream, it came out very convoluted.
No one cared about the message, everyone wanted a piece of me, to make fun of me. I was either loved by the few dreamers or hated by everyone else, but whatever I hoped my message could be, was all but ignored. It was truly a failure. I tried talking about some of the key points, like the one-thousand year kingdom on Earth, but man, the religious haters came out in droves to shoot that down saying I was being led by the devil.
And yet when I told them it is not what we think, it is a reversal of time where the earth will shift back in time, either no one believed it, or they didn’t care, however, I was truly scorned. I knew most of this stuff seemed impossible and I was an idiot for trying to share it. All it did was bring grief and despair.
I asked myself why I am wasting my time. When I brought up how the earth is divided in this 360˚ pattern. And how everything seems to break down into this sequence. And how something is broken because the earth
is now in a 365 ¼ pattern.
I finally figured out what the 5 ¼ days were, it was the added days to the year which used to be 360 days. Again most of the time I received derision. I was told that the 365 ¼ days simply represents the wobble in the earth’s rotation and it has nothing to do with anything being broken, “what an idiot.” they would say.
I asked, if something is wobbling doesn’t that mean it is out of sync and it could represent something of great import? Again nothing but laughter. And the sad part is, I had no real science background to represent my story, I just relayed what I could remember, and what I somehow witnessed.
One of the callers who came on the program asked what in the hell does Panem Vitae mean? I told them that was the name I used for this information because this name was given to me, but that is all I remember. Little did I know that my life was about to change forever.
I told the caller, I do not know what it means, it was a term the chief used a lot, but I never asked him if there was a secondary meaning. At this point a female called in to the show and said, I know what that means, I am taking Latin as a minor at Pepperdine University, where I attend. The term Panem Vitae means, “BREAD OF LIFE.”
“Oh my God”, I responded in total shock, “I think understand now…”
(19) Government Interference
Time Loop Two – Could it be Déjà vu?
Knock! Knock! Was the sound that woke me up at 7:00 am one Friday morning? I gathered myself as I slumped out of bed, put on shorts and t-shirt, and slowly walked to the door.
Barely able to get the words out of my mouth, the crackling sound of air pushing through said, “Who is it?”
“Sir, this is the FBI, we wondered if we could have a couple of words with you?”
Trying to get my wits about me, pausing for a couple of seconds as I tried to organize my thoughts, I barked out, “What is the problem, is there something wrong?”
“Please sir, open the door we need to talk about what you have been telling people on the radio, about your experiences.”
“You have got me be kidding me,” Whispering under my breath. “The FBI is concerned about my dream stories, give me a break.”
I wondered in my mind, why they would care about a dream when no one else seemed to; that was a tad odd. But it perplexed me so much that I had to find out why they would even care enough to be at my front door.
So I slowly opened the door, and staring at me were two agents, one male and one female, both looking at me with these deep dark sun glasses. Their clothes seemed odd to me and I had never seen sun glasses like that before.
Both agents were dressed in black with white shirts. The 5’ 4” woman was wearing a pants suit, although very shapely, as well as a hat covering her auburn hair that seemed to be pinned back. On the hat were the Letters, F.B.I.
The male agent standing about 6’2” did not wear a hat, but in bold white lettering under his lapel, the same lettering stood out like a sore thumb. He also had short black hair like a military crew cut, not that well-built, mostly thin and lanky, having a couple days stubble on his beard.
Those sun glasses sort of freaked me out, like you were looking at some sort of strange insect eyes, and then the male agent removed his glasses realizing they were an issue, and the female agent followed in like, and both of them had a reserved but cajoling smile on their face, like something was definitely up.
As they walked into the door of our home, the female agent commented about our neighborhood, “Why is your town so far behind the times? The cars and the houses all look dated, yet strangely kept up like new.”
I didn’t know what she was talking about so I just squeezed out a cheap smile wondering if she had all of her oars in the water. There demeanor didn’t suggest that there was any real reason to be concerned or fear their presence, but I was still apprehensive why they would be here wanting to talk to me about a silly dream, even though I really believe that somehow this occurred, obviously most did not share my beliefs.
As they entered my modest dwelling, I asked them to take a seat. I then offered them a drink. It was evident by the quick back and forth head gestures that they were content in only talking.
I then asked them if I could get myself a cup of coffee, or I wouldn’t be any good to them. They responded with a genial smile and replied, “Absolutely, take your time.”
They then introduced themselves as Agent Maxwell Stram, and Agent Laura Thol.
I retorted, “Good to know you.” I then went after my cup of Joe.
I finally came back to the living room, found an old stool and sat on it, and spun it around and then said, “How can I help you two?”
“We have a problem and we can’t figure out how to solve it.”
“Did I do something wrong?”
Agent Stram needed verification. “I need to double check, are you Mr. Tim Trovel?”
“Yes I am.”
“Great, just wanted to clarify that we had the right house and right person.
Sir, a few weeks ago after your little radio interview, a man was found on an old trail outside your city, he was recovered and brought to the local hospital where we have been notified that he is very ill and close to death. We were then notified by H.Q. to check into this.
It appeared he had been out there in the sun for a little while. He was elderly and seemed to be about in his late 70’s, maybe older, but his skin was dried up like a prune, possibly the result of being baked in the sun for some time.”
“I am sorry, but what does this have to do with me?”
“Agent Stram and I have just returned from walking out in the area where the body had been found. It is quite a daunting hike.”
“I guess?” Wondering what this all has to do with me, I responded, “I don’t hike, at least not since I was a little boy.”
“However,” Agent Stram continued… “Being out there at first glance revealed nothing to us, it didn’t seem to have anything to do with you until we found buried 15 feet from where the body had been recovered, under a rock, was this... (Holding something in his hand wrapped in plastic.) It had been marked or stamped by some ancient symbol and this is what caught our attention.”
Agent Stram held up in his hands a plastic bag container of what appeared to be a thick notepad, my heart took a few extra beats and it skipped several times. There was something oddly familiar about this pad of paper.
“Sir, do you know anything about this?”
“Uh, it looks familiar, but I don’t think I do, it’s not possible!” (Shaking my head in total confusion.)
“Well we have a problem.”
“What’s the problem?”
“It appears this notepad belongs to you.”
“Why would you say that?”
“Well is your name Tim Trovel, living at 100 West 200 South #312…”
“Wait a minute. “ Tim cautioned.
At this point I was in a fight or flight reaction, I was getting very nervous because I had no way to defend myself over a silly dream that never took place. Heavily laden with anxiety Tim replied. “I don’t own any notepad, I don’t know why my name would be on that.”
“Sir, (as they removed it from the plastic container) is this your handwriting Mr. Trovel?”
I carefully looked down at it as he scrolled through the pages, and I saw the words 1080 years in the past. And I began to feel very sick.
Again they asked, “Well is it your handwriting?”
I then judiciously looked at the writing and most definitely it was my scribble.
“But this never happened, it was all a dream. I don’t know… I can’t believe… This can’t be happening!”
“Mr. Trovel, we are not here to arrest you, you are not in trouble, at least at the moment. This is not a murder case, the old man that was discovered appeared to be injured possibly from the terrain, but he is alive.
We just want to know why a notepad with your name and address was near the discovered body, as it pertains
to this crazy story you were telling everyone on the radio. We believe the old man either dropped this and it landed in a hole nearby under a rock, or he planted it there, or it came from you while you were there.
And then to add to this weird puzzle, why was all of this information in here, where did it come from and what does it mean? And then to add to this mystery you have been talking to others about this same information over the airwaves.”
“But it was a dream I assure you, none of it really happened, I made it all up?”
“Come on, a dream? Let’s get real, this was no dream Mr. Trovel, unless your notepad flickered out of your mind and into our hands. Now would you please explain why you wrote all of this down and why this information was found near the old man located in the area you described in your notepad? Were you out there with this old man?”