by John Panella
“My husband and I were contacted by two FBI agents 30 years ago about this very same thing, they discovered a body on one of the trails, of an elderly man that was badly injured. He also had notes that supposedly my husband had written down.”
Mumbling under her breath she continued, “Oh god are you playing a game with me.” (Still believing these were same the two agents.) “Are you sure that we have not met and had this same conversation before, cuz…?”
The Agents ignoring her off the wall comments inserted, “Mrs. Trovel, what was your husband doing out in the desert at his age, and why do you think he might have tried to climb a mesa.” The Agents believed he may have fallen from the mesa.
“Officers, my husband disappeared almost 30 years ago when he took off with two similar agents to find out what had happened, and I nor anyone else has seen him since, and the agents in question also disappeared. And you are telling me, you have my husband, that can’t be, he passed away; he has to be dead.”
“Mrs. Trovel if you would come with us you can then identify the person we brought to the local hospital, we just found him after some hikers had witnessed his body off of an unknown desert trail.”
“I don’t understand, but I will certainly come with you to see who it was you think you have found, but I am certain it is not my husband.”
They all got into the government car and headed to the hospital. At the hospital…Tim Trovel is having an internal conversation with his thoughts while lying on a bed, “I can hear voices, little chatter coming from what seemed to be far away, and yet close. I cannot make out the speech, but its volume seemed to increase every moment as the blackness began to change into light. All of a sudden I could see this dim grayish light growing from under my closed eye lids, which were now partially opened in a squinting position.
I could make out shadows of figures that were beginning to form as the shade of light became much more intense as I began to recognize a large bright light above me and several humanoid figures standing around and one of them screaming out, ‘My lord it is him!’
I was having trouble putting a name to the faces that I was seeing. But in time the faces all but became clear to me. One of these faces were my wife, but looking very aged and haggardly, like she had been through a terrible life ordeal, and now she appears as if she has seen a ghost. And along with her was two other familiar people who I thought went missing.
They were the two government agents that disappeared after I had that strange event occur when the day turn into night. The chief told me it was not their time, so they were taken away. I didn’t fully understand what he meant.
The funny thing was when I saw them clearly enough standing in front of me in what appears to be a hospital, I asked them, “You two are alright then, I didn’t know what happened to you, you left and then I was told… Oh well, it doesn’t matter, obviously you are both fine.”
“Mr. Trovel, why is it that you think you know us?”
“Well for one I do, you were with me when we went to investigate the event of the elderly man. Remember the one I sad was the chief. So many things happened to me, and so many things were revealed I can’t wait to talk about it.”
Annie May while holding Tim’s hand said, “I don’t understand Timmy, where have you been for the last 30 years?” As she bellowed out this horrific gasp.
Tim gradually pushing from side to side in his bed and trying to lift is head higher on the pillow began to reply while being very agitated, while looking at his wife who now seemed completely different with grey hair. “What do you mean 30 years? My journey with the agents was not that many days ago, when we went to check out the mystery of the man who supposedly had my notepad and why. Remember I discovered it was the chief.”
Agent Thol inquired of Tim, “Do you know what year it is?”
“Of course I do, it is 1991.”
“You really do not know that it is 2014.”
“No that is impossible, it is only 1991.”
Swallowing deeply as I was starting to realize the magnitude of the bad news that I didn’t come back to my time. Somehow I advanced over two decades into the future. I was puzzled as to why the chief would allow this to happen, why didn’t he warn me or help me, this is tragic and god awful horrible?
Tim then looking at the Agents said, “Then how is it that you look exactly the same? You are both as I remembered. Wouldn’t you two have aged some over this period of time?”
At this point the agents seemed to be reliving a few demons of their own, and were speechless, as if a long lost memory was coming into their minds. All of a sudden I began to realize something. When the chief spoke of these two officers he said they were not meant to be here they were not in their correct time.
I could not fathom what that meant, but now I am realizing what happened. Somehow when this event first transpired, they went out to see the body of the elderly man which was near the doorway to the cave.
And doing so got them caught in a time event. However when they went to check into this bizarre case they must have traveled back in time to 1991 where I first met them, because they must have been locked into my time line due to this door being my personal connection to the past. At least that is my best guess.
However the conundrum here is my wife today thinks I disappeared in 1984 after my first hike. And yet she remembers the two agents also. But we didn’t meet them until 1991. However, when I awakened from this strange dream I recall now that neither one of us knew that I even hiked at all, like it was a past life or another time.
That memory is starting to come back. It never dawned on me when trying to figure out what I had lost from this strange event, I forgot that neither one of us believed I had hiked anywhere. It is now becoming clear if the event in 1984 actually occurred, and in 1991, that means I did hike into the area of the mesa where I met the chief but the chief said all of it was a dream.
Yet how come neither my wife nor I knew how I had come upon this information if I didn’t take that mysterious hike? Well of course, we both determined it was all a dream, but was it? So the agents left in 2014 from their time and unknowingly went back in time. They then came to me when they found the notepad with my writing, but they didn’t realize it was 1991.
I remember now, it was because of when I was sharing this information over the airwaves, this is what got their attention. Could it be the airwaves represented something to do with time and time travel?
Yet, the same two agents evidently also came back in 1984, thirty years earlier, because my wife witnessed them also due to the fact she said it was 30 years ago where she met them and then after I left with the agents I then came up missing.
So in 1984 I was there and in 1991, I was also there, but my wife has no recollection of the second event, and I have no recollection of the first event. So what occurred during those seven years of missing time?
Did I invent 7 years of time between 1984 and 1991? Was that all a dream? Did all of this take place in 1984 and I have gone missing all of this time, but where did I go? I then looked at my wife and asked her something to help remedy this problem. “Do you remember us going to the, ‘Back to the Future’ movies?”
“Oh my love, I remember that like it was yesterday. But you were not there with me. I went to the movies by myself. I read and watched everything I could about time travel, doorways, and gateways, whatever it took!
I tried to find you, or anything connected with you, believing you were taken from my time. In my heart I could only accept this scenario of what had happened to you as long as I believed you were safe and alive. I had to believe you were fine, that is what kept me going all of these years.”
Tim now in total confusion, “We never went to those movies together?”
“Only in spirit Timmy, only in…, I assure you when I watched the Back to the Future trilogy, you were right there beside me in spirit.”
“Then how could you be aware of missing time, doorways to the past and time travel
, if I never returned, how did you know all of this?”
The reason I knew all of this is the agents when they came to tell us about the incident of the person they found, they also told us about this notepad, which had your information in it.”
“I don’t understand, if I took off with the agents in 1984 as you say, wouldn’t we have kept the notepad with us?”
“Yes Sweetie, you did keep it. But when you never returned, nor did the agents return, I located an experienced hiker to find this place. And it was there I unexpectedly found the notepad hidden under a rock near a hole. I began to wonder if the agents were criminals and the notepad was used to lure you away, but I realized this was indeed your writing.”
“Then why didn’t you check the hospital to see if that man they had found had been me?”
“Because the agents assured me that the man they found was an older man maybe 70’s or later, much older than you could have ever been. I never tied the two events together that the man was also part of you and the notepad. The case was closed after it was determined there was no connection between you and the man that was found.”
Tim begins to wonder in his thought. I know what I am thinking can’t be possible, but I don’t have a better explanation? How did I have these memories of returning in 1984 and then living seven-years with my wife until the agents found us in 1991 if it never happened?
I continued to comb through my mind in trying to figure this all out. When we had gone back to the trail where the cave was in 1991, the agents disappeared, because they did not belong in my time, so where did they really go?
But there was an anomaly, when I returned in 1984 and continued to live with my wife for the next seven years, the memories of my trip were coming along very slowly. And neither one of us knew I had hiked before. Could the memories have been from another time-loop?
I need to quantify all of this, my wife says I never returned from 1984. I believe I did return in 1984 and lived another seven years, but my wife has no recollection of this ever happening.
Yet in traveling back in time somehow the two agents went to two different dates, or better yet maybe two different timelines. The one they returned to speak to me in 1991 was from an older time-loop, when maybe this was not yet my time as the chief had spoken about the two agents. And thus the events were just faded memories like a dream.
It appears that 1984 was the critical date, the rest is all overlapped memories. However now in 2014, the same two agents return to my wife because they discovered that I was in a hospital.
When the two agents got back to their time going through the infamous blackout, they awakened just like I did the first time, having no memory of this experience, because the only experience they knew of was their own timeline in 2014. Therefore they do not remember returning into the past.
So when the agents saw my wife, the information they had about the mysterious man was that he was very old, obviously it was me in 2014, but since they returned back in time, the old man from 2014 was being revealed in 1984 and 1991 and it was out of context and it didn’t fit the time.
When the two events didn’t link the old man and me to these earlier dates, the case was obviously closed. Now when I returned in 1984 after the original hike, neither my wife nor I had any recollection of me ever hiking at all. In fact it was something I never did. Obviously this was also another time-loop when two different events were blended together.
Yet the events that happened that were glued into my mind, could only have happened if I did take this hike. Thus the only explanation I have is, I really never did return in 1984, I simply vanished. However in another timeline, I had existed in 1984 somehow carrying the memories of this event when I did take the hike and eventually disappeared.
Ok, but how do I explain seeing the agents in 1991? Again this all had to be another timeline when this occurred. Therefore between 1984, 1991, and 2014, the agents were part of three different timelines, but they only have recollection of the one, at the moment. The reason must be is that all three events are connected to the same soul event.
The Agents then went to speak to my wife, thinking this was the first time that this occurred. When in truth it was the third time. In 1984 1991 and now 2014, 30 years after the original event. My wife recalled this meeting in 1984 because that is when I went missing. That confirms the agents also went back to 1984.
Therefore, from the first time I met the chief, I have been gone ever since, until right now. For 30 years I have been missing, but for me it has only been a short span of time. Nevertheless, why have I returned? Where I am confused is when I saw the picture of the old man in 1991, it was the chief? So the notepad and the old man are connected.
Somehow I must have passed through a time-loop life memory of at least two different life times, while being in the blackout state, and then I ended up here. Was all of this a dream? Am I still dreaming?
The problem is, it certainly didn’t seem like dream for my wife, she had to live these last 30-years knowing the horror that I had disappeared. We may never know why this happened. This is truly a mind game.
Annie May began to break down, great sadness welled up in her, and she let go of her emotions. Blaring out with heavy tears and great sobbing. I held her as tightly as I could as she cried saying, “You don’t know how much I have missed you?”
She then composed herself and had a look on her face that I will never forget, “My life was totally ruined, and I have lived 30 years all alone in my own pain. I wish to god I had come with you on your hike.”
It was then as if a great knowing entered me and I realized why I have returned.
She continued…”I could not locate the FBI agents, everywhere I called; every city, every town, they told me there was no such pair that worked for the agency. I believed all of this time they were part of the con and you were kidnapped and killed.
I was even so desperate believing that I was left a widow that I took out a large million dollar insurance policy on you, and then I would report your disappearance later since the agents were obviously fraudulent so no one would be the wiser. But after I did it I realized I could not follow through with it, it simply wasn’t the right thing to do.
I reported you missing to the police and the FBI and even the NSA and CIA got involved, they could never find or discover anything to help me of any import, and it all went down in the cold case lost files. Final report: ‘None of this ever happened.’’
None of them took the notepad serious, they all thought it was something my husband had done to write a science fiction novel. They believed he left me to follow his own secret ambitions. And ever since then Timmy has been forever gone, until now. My only hope and prayer was that maybe you stayed with the chief and lived your years out quietly always thinking of me.” (She continued to cry…)
At this point in time I was frightened, I was not expecting this at all. I saw the pain in my wife’s eyes, I saw how deeply she had been hurt. I wished I could have blotted all of this stuff out that it was never real, that none of it ever really happened.
I was hoping it was all an illusion, and then I remembered the last day with the chief, he said. ‘This world is an illusion of the mind.’ I then asked my wife as I slowly began to put things together, “Could you bring me a mirror.” She took out a small mirror out of her hand bag and handed it to me. I took one look and turned white as a ghost.
“My God, do you see who that is?”
“Yes, (My wife alerted me) it is you, a very old you, but it is you Timmy… just like I am very old now, so are you.”
I slowly turned my head toward my wife and then towards the Agents and said, “I am Chief Animae Cibus. My god, I am the Chief, this is who I have been learning from and spending all of my time being educated about of what is occurring in this world. Damn it, it was always me! The Chief was me!”
Agent Thol barked out these words, “It seems to me that you have had a massive delusion. Obviously you can’t be in three different
places all at the same time and still be you.”
I then asked my wife, “Do you still have the first notepad with the account of the first experiences that I had written?”
She replied with a sad facial expression, clutching my hand she said, “No sweetie, I am so sorry,” (She began to cry again,) she then continued, “About 23 years ago I had given up hope. I truly began to believe you were long dead, and this notepad was nothing more than your attempt to write a novel even though as the years passed everything you had written in it came true. So I threw it into the fireplace and it became ash. I am so sorry I lost hope.”
(Agent Stram interrupted) “It appears, there was no Indian Chief, there was no tunnel or cave through a doorway, the whole thing was obviously invented by you. And as you have said, all of this was an illusion of the mind.”
No I didn’t want to believe that, there is no way that can be true. But here looking in this mirror, I see the chief staring back, I was definitely the chief, there can be no doubt about it. Yet no one was going to convince me that I made all of this up. So I angrily replied, “Then if this didn’t happen, where in the hell have I been for the last 30 years?”