by John Panella
“That is what we would like to know?” The Agents grumbled!
Agent Thol and Stram decided that this case was going nowhere. There were definitely strange anomalies, but there was no evidence or proof to be able to use any of it without looking like fools. They both assumed it was a marital dispute and I left long ago to follow another dream. Both of them looked at my wife, and said, “Are you alright Mrs. Trovel?”
My wife glared suspiciously back at them and then realized she had no comment other than to say, “I am fine, thanks for giving me back my husband.”
The two agents formerly advised us that we could seek medical help, for what they believed was some sort of schizophrenia or delusional paranoia syndrome. They then dismissed themselves and walked away while handing me the notepad of the first expedition.
I then looked at my wife, with great sadness in my heart of what I had done to her. Yet I knew I didn’t do this on purpose, these were things that were way beyond my control. But then like a ton of bricks it hit me, this is 2014, oh my God, “What is the world like right now?”
My wife straightened up from a bent over position and said, “Honey the world has become everything your notepad said that it would become. It is a sick and dying world, getting worse every day. I really believed as the years rolled along that your experiences were indeed real, I was living in it and witnessing it every second of every day.
There is nothing but crime, and the crimes are corporate and banking, and political. The news is filled with people harming other people and the morals, forget it, there are none. It has become a nightmare.
To have to watch this slowly occur over the years it was extremely unsettling. This is not the same world we lived in back in 1984, it has changed, mysteriously changed.
I wanted you to be here so that we could work this out together. I was all alone to see these things fall apart and felt I would die alone. I am an old woman now, I have long past my youth. Yet I would not trade this day away for any day in the past. (Annie May sobbing again.)
To be together with you is the shining moment in my life. You are everything to me and will always be. And your very presence backed by what I read in the notepad is proof that you indeed did have these experiences, and I am sickened that I lost hope and destroyed the only proof I had.
I missed you so much. Every time I would try to tell anyone what was written in the notepad, no one would listen, they would mock me and belittle me. They would say where is this mysterious notepad you speak of senile woman?
They even said I was of the devil and a witch that belonged to some satanic cult. They called me a demon, and the children would mock me and throw things and even spit at me. And between me and you, I began to wonder if I wasn’t crazy.”
Being filled with absolute compassion for my wife and what she had to endure, I then began to backtrack in my mind thinking how special my wife had always been, and how we shared a great life albeit now cut short, she was truly a wonderful mate and time traveler companion.
My wife was born of Greek lineage. When we met, her family couldn’t stand me, but over time I finally won their heart over the process of time and familiarity. I used to call her ‘Anima’ all the time.
It had become a pet name between me and her. She is my heart and soul, and she is my bountiful blessing. She is my lover, friend, wife, sister, and confidant… And no doubt a true soul friend.
Little did I realize that the chief’s name and my wife’s pet name were nearly identical? It became all too clear that all of this might have been in my own imagination, yet how is it all coming true?
Nothing else made sense, why was the Chief’s name, Animae, also very close to my wife’s pet name ‘Anima’? And why is it that staring in the mirror now I see the very same chief I had been dealing with all of this time?
My wife being a wise woman understanding my very thoughts said, “You didn’t make this all up, (as she grasped her hands on my cheeks,) we have 30 years of proof that everything you said was real, and even though I doubted, my doubts have all been erased.
This happened to you, all of it, just like you said. Whatever you wrote in that notepad was not something you made up, but what you were being fed. Do you know why, I discovered what Animae Cibus means, it is ‘SOUL FOOD’? It represents how you have been nourished by this information from another part of yourself.
This is something I realized when you were gone. It is the soul within you and me and all who are from the divine realm being fed spiritual nutrition by our chief.”
I was blown away, it never dawned on me that the chief’s name meant, SOUL FOOD. It is the spirit that comforts the soul. Annie May looked at me with her deep blue glazed eyes, and said, “I even figure out what the soul food is.”
“What is it?”
“Sweetie, it is Panem Vitae. Remember the chief told you that you must eat it?”
“Oh yes indeed, I do remember, at the time I didn’t understand what he was saying to me. The idea of eating Panem Vitae never made sense. He explained all about the Panem Vitae how it became a person from a specific bloodline.”
“But as you know darling, it wasn’t the bloodline, it didn’t have anything to do with a bloodline. It was all about the person named Panem Vitae. Do you remember what the Panem Vitae is?”
“I remember clearly, a caller on the radio told me it was the Latin term for the Bread of Life!”
“Exactly and the bread of life were the spiritual WORDS the Panem Vitae fed us with. It was not something we physically ate, but spiritually. You see, we do not physically eat the Panem Vitae, he is but the teacher, the soul food within. It is the WORDS he disseminated that were to be internalized, which is indeed the Bread of Life.
It is he who guides the soul, and you know him as Animae Cibus, he is your SOUL FOOD, your personal connection to soul, he is the one who leads you to partake of the Panem Vitae, the BREAD OF LIFE. And then that one is returned back to his foundations of Caelestus Pater, or the Heavenly Father in the sky awaiting for your awakening and return.”
“Then tell me, what is, Panis Venenum. This was supposed to be a counterfeit. Did you also figure this out?”
“Of course my beloved, Panis Venenum is POISON BREAD.”
It was then made very clear to me that my wife had even greater understanding than even I had. I then knew why I returned to this time, I was not about to make the journey alone. I returned in her dream to bring my friend back with me as she was also ready…
(28) The Very First Day
Time-Loop End – Returning from the Past to the Future
I just woke up and it is early in the morning and I can’t wait to take my hike, I had remembered about a place that might house ancient burial grounds of the Anasazi, and I just had to see if I could find them.
The temperature today was already quite warm, so the hike was going to be a grueling one. It is going to be about 85˚ today and when walking over difficult terrain it may seem like 100˚ out there.
It is June 12th, 1984 my wife and I both woke up having had the most sound sleep ever. I told her this is the day I find some ancient burial grounds, and maybe some really cool souvenirs.
However before I leave I need to go to Walgreens, to get some items, and then I am ready for a long days hike. I can’t wait. I feel so rejuvenated and so alive, and right now I feel very happy. As I bounced out of the restroom dressed to kill, so to speak, my wife said, “Hey you aint going anywhere without me!”
“Are you kidding me, you want to take a hike? What in the world got into you today, you never go with me on hikes?”
“To be honest, I don’t know, but a silent voice in my head told me to stay as close to you as I can.”
My wife and I had been together for about ten years, and we are like tied to the hip on almost everything we do. However, that never included hiking, this was never her cup of tea. But for some strange reason, she wants to come today, and I am thrilled that she will be able to see these ancient sights, becau
se they really are extraordinary.
The place where I am going today, a professor which happens to be a close tie to the family, had told me that he had discovered some amazing artifacts and information in a hidden in out of the way places. I had been taking some night classes on the ancient Anasazi cultures.
My Professor, William ‘Kikapoo’ Keuinedes revealed a lot of mystery about the Anasazi. He spoke often how they had been Cliff and land dwellers in the Southwest of the United States. He revealed that his origins were Greek but he had some strange ties to this ancient culture, and desperately wanted to discover all he could about them.
But his most researched aspect of this ancient tribe was the fact that this entire tribe disappeared. Today the Hopi and Pueblo believe they are the true descendants. However there are some missing links to this tradition as well as the name Anasazi refers to ancient enemies, or it might better be translated ancient strangers, a people who really never belonged.
The Professor said, he believes they received this moniker as ancient enemies because they were revealing the dark sinister malicious spirit in this world. So in retrospect, as the professor was always fond of saying in class, “The enemy of my enemy is obviously my friend.”
The idea was proposed due to the fact this entire tribe disappeared that there was something unique and may even be otherworldly about them. Some even identify them with aliens, represented by the name strangers or enemies of man.
Much of this is speculation no doubt, but the professor believes that the truth is, that their culture was unique, way beyond the mindset of most Native Americans or even that of most of humanity.
As such, the Anasazi were known for building an astronomical observatory. Watching the stars was very important to them. Why, we may never know, but it seems as though that it had something to do with a ceremonial calendar on how time functions and is also altered. The Professor began to speculate, that they understood time itself different than most.
Now get this, in their dwellings they constructed a central hole in the floor. It actually represented a portal from the underworld into the fourth world.
That somehow these people were moving into different dimensions. The Professor’s theories are not widely accepted among historians, but his youthful excitement and his uncanny knowledge about all of this, energized the students, including me, and made the entire topic of great interest for us all.
Now what is really strange is that by the 13th century the Anasazi all but disappeared as if leaving this world for another world. Some have thought maybe they were ancient alien survivors and their people came back to retrieve them. Whatever occurred they left without a trace. And speculation has left many wondering where they could have gone.
No matter what one may think, an ancient tribe that was so knowledgeable about astronomy and how the universe works obviously were far more advanced than the tales of scavengers, headhunters, cannibals and thieves. To think these people were ignorant is actually more of a testament about who we may be, than what they truly are.
Their culture was advanced, with art, religion, architecture, and the petroglyphs that they left behind were astonishing revealing monumental information about them. This was a race of people who knew more than even what the legends contend.
So today will be a real treat for my wife and myself to look back into the past and hopefully learn how this culture really lived. Who knows maybe we will even find the missing link to this auspicious culture, the doorway to our souls.
(29) The Realization
THE EVENT Day One – Processing the Data
It is September 11th 2016, I just woke up from sleep, my wife told me, “You must have had a pretty wild dream you were talking all night. You said some pretty wild things.”
All I could say is, “The Anasazi figured out a way to escape this world. They have left all of the clues behind to figure out how they did it. They are able to pass through worlds and continue to help even those of our time.”
“Is this why you were tossing and turning all night?”
“No, it has to do with something the two FBI agents told me a couple of days ago. They made me aware of something. I realize now how important it is for me to make sure that others know what I know. And yet there is now so little time.
I don’t want to be here anymore. I am sick of this world and tired of what has been taking place, where for centuries the only thing we ever advance in is technology, but we never grow in the heart and feed the soul.
We are like a stagnant race that moves from one generation to another always believing we are improving, and growing mentally and emotionally as a civilization, yet we do neither.
The fruits of every generation have revealed our lack, and instead we allow that which has always mocked us to be our entrapment. We are not growing, we are not even evolving. Every generation of humanity continues to live within the desire for bondage rather than the beauty and omnipotence of freedom.
This is what the story of the Anasazi is there to teach us. That we destroy what we touch, we tear down what we build. We are like unsupervised children that never grow up.
We think we are more intelligent, because we have great inventions as well as innovations. But we do not build upon the greatest of all, and that is our spiritual wellbeing.
We seem as a race to live our lives to fulfill our own lusts and desires. We live to survive but few have ever really lived to find the gateway to their soul. We indoctrinate ourselves with what feels good to our senses, rather than what benefits others and the whole.
We then in turn bring curses upon everyone for our despicable flight of fancy that we cultivate, while standing upon the backs of others to catapult ourselves above them due to greed and avarice. We often call good evil and evil we often call good. We are like Jekyll in the day and Hyde in the night, as if some strange power is holding its curse upon our necks.
And yet I look back to what was written in the notepads, that the world is an illusion of the mind, and the minds of the many have become sick. And thus the world only translates out of what is in the mind.
The beauty we see, is only a reality of hope that we once longed and desired for. And yet it is slowly fading, the rules have changed and that which was omniscient and omnipresent has become decaying and obsolete.
We appear to be alive, yet we sleep the death of ages. We watch our plants grow in the sunlight which then go to sleep at night under the moon. Yet the Sun and Moon are our enemies, they are the violent takeover of our souls placing us in these bodies of death, as it replaces our divine creed.
We are trapped inside a prison without walls, one so sturdy not even the strongest among us can break free. Whole armies have been devoured, lands have been shredded all to realize nothing can penetrate the walls of this prison except one thing.
We must awaken out of the dream before it is too late and we are back here again having spent generations of living life while slowly dying. This is why I was tossing and turning. We must come to realize that our only hope for freedom comes from within us, which was seeded a very long time ago by our divine parentage.
This is where all things reside. Our hopes, our desires, even our dreams. Everything resides within us. It is to those who know where to place their trust as to how we may become free.
In a private session with the chief while reading the notepad again, it revealed, “When you come to internalize all that is within you, then the gateway will be opened to reunite with your grand spirit and then you may forever leave this place behind. You shall return unto the ancestors of old and be free as a little child of the great and glorious family of Caelestus Pater.
It is those who are by reason of the inheritance, our brothers and sisters and sons and daughters of the Great Spirit Father and Mother in the Sky, which then we will indeed be removed from this hell once we have acknowledge one thing, ‘that none of us are here by accident, all have made choices that have led to our captivity.’
Only our divine pa
rents have the keys to our prison, which is within our soul. To unlock the gate; we must eat of the Panem Vitae and we must believe, truly believe.
And when that day comes we will not need to come back here again. There will be no need to find the doorways of our past. We will simply be guides for those who remain to be led and nurtured towards their ultimate reunion... OF THEIR SPIRIT WITHIN-The Panem Vitae!
We have within us the keys to our ultimate reality, and once we unlock that door, there will be no need to ever enter the past or future again. My wife wondered why it was that this has been so daunting giving me restless nights of worry. I told her, it is because, I have failed again, another time-loop is about to come, and I am not ready.
She said, “What will it take to be ready?”