Southern Perfection

by Casey Peeler

  When my mouth falls to the floor, she helps pick it up by placing her salty with a hint of strawberry lip-gloss lips onto mine. I try to keep her lips on mine a moment longer, but she pulls away and puts me back in our reality inside the school cafeteria, and I’m close to tardy number three today.

  After school, I start to make my way to my truck, but decide to surprise her before practice. I’m caught off guard when I see her and Jace embracing in the gym. I can’t stand him! Why can’t he get it through that dumb skull of his? I shake it off and drive to the hospital. I mention to Cole what I saw, and he tells me not to worry, because he knows exactly how Raegan feels about Jace. That is much easier said than done.

  After I get home, I take a quick run before supper and then see what Raegan’s up to.

  Me: Hope practice went okay. I can’t wait to

  see you 2morrow.

  Raegan: It did! Fixin’ supper now and then I

  have a ton of homework. I can’t wait to see you

  either.

  Me: Try 2 come in on 4 wheels 2morrow. LOL

  Raegan: HAHA I’ll try! ;)

  Tomorrow morning can’t get here fast enough.

  Chapter 21

  Raegan

  The next two days are near perfect. When I’m not working on the farm, I’m at school or practice. Every moment I can spend with Emmett, I do. Cole got discharged from the hospital on Wednesday morning, and as soon as practice is over, I make my way to visit.

  As I pull into the driveway, I see Emmett’s truck and smile. This is kinda weird. I never thought the guy whom I’m head over heels would live in this house. Walking up to the door, I see Jace pulling in the driveway. Dang. I toss up my hand and wave before I ring the doorbell and wait for someone to answer. When the door opens, it’s Emmett.

  “Come in,” he says as he takes my hand in his. “He’s in his room.”

  “Okay.”

  “Just give him a knock and go in. I’ll give y’all some time.”

  A questioning look flashes in his eyes. What’s up with this giving us a minute? Whatever. I shake it off. I give Cole’s room a light knock and peek inside.

  “Hey there, Rae,” he says as he starts to sit up in the bed.

  “Hey, how are ya feelin’?” I ask.

  “I’m all right. Better than a few days ago. The question is, how are you?” I know exactly what he’s referring to.

  “I don’t wanna talk about it,” I say as I feel tears creeping up. I’ve fought them away all week, and I know the bewitching hour is upon us.

  “Look, I know you don’t, but just remember I’m here.”

  “I know.”

  “Has Uncle Dover said any more about it?” I shake my head no.

  “Cole, I’ve got a really bad feelin’ ’bout it. You know, the kind deep down in your gut that’s never wrong.”

  He pats the bed beside him, and I take a seat. He moves my hair behind my ear. “Rae, it’s gonna be okay. If he said the doctors aren’t worried, then we shouldn’t be either.”

  “I know, but…” is all I can manage before the waterworks flow.

  “Listen to me, Rae. Don’t do this. We don’t know what’s gonna happen tomorrow, but you’re the strongest person I know. Have you said anything to Emmett?”

  “No! Grandaddy said not to. I won’t break that promise to him.” He understands where I stand on that thought and drops it. He changes the subject, and I dry my eyes just in time for blotchiness to evaporate from my face, as Grandaddy knocks on the door with Emmett right behind him.

  “Hey, y’all,” I say as they make their way into the room. We all visit, and then Emmett and I give Grandaddy and Cole some time alone. I can only imagine what is being said between those walls.

  Emmett walks outside with me toward my truck. As I stand there with my back against the driver’s side, he moves in closer and brings his lips to mine.

  Emmett

  When I open the door and see her standing there, I immediately want to pull her inside. I know she’s here to see Cole, but I don’t want to share her. After my conversation with Jace last night and seeing them today, I want to take her and run away so that I don’t have to share her with the world. I don’t, though; I give her time with Cole alone instead. They have a relationship I will not mess with. He’s my stepbrother, but I can’t quite figure out why they are as close as they seem.

  As Raegan disappears behind Cole’s door, I make my way back downstairs, but not before I hear her begin to cry. I know they are close, but he’s getting better. What in this world would have her so upset? I begin to think about us, seeing her with Jace today, Jace’s reaction at lunch, and their relationship. Feeling the frustration beginning to build, I walk out to my truck and clean out the Pop Tart wrappers from the week.

  “Hey there, Emmett. How are you doin’?” I hear as I glance over my shoulder to see Mr. Lowery.

  “I’m doing well, sir. How ’bout yourself?” I ask.

  “A’ight, just thought I’d check on Cole. Where’s Sunshine?”

  “She’s with Cole. I’m givin’ them some time.”

  He crosses his arms and stands there. “Boy, let me tell ya somethin’. Don’t ever get jealous of those two. Cole has been there for her as long as I can remember. They hit it off the day he started working in the summers when he was barely old enough to pick up a bale of hay, but not like you’re thinking. Raegan has always been the girl everyone wants her to be, and you are the first guy to walk into her life that she’s let in. Don’t be a fool and screw it up because of what you think.”

  I’m completely floored by his forwardness. “Yes, sir. It’s just hard to think through. Can I ask you one thing?”

  “Go ’head.”

  “Well, you know my neighbor. Has she ever given him a thought?”

  Mr. Lowery belly laughs in my face. “Son, Jace McCoy wants anything he can’t have, and my Sunshine has wanted nothin’, and I mean nothin’, to do with him. You have no worries.”

  “Thanks for your honesty,” I say to him.

  “Anytime,” he responds as he goes inside to talk to George and my mom.

  When I finish, I walk back inside, and Mr. Lowery and I make our way to Cole’s room. As we enter, Raegan is sitting beside Cole, and regardless of how much she’s trying to hide the fact she has been crying, I can see pain in her eyes. All I want to do is hold her in my arms and make everything better, even though I have no clue what’s going on.

  When Raegan makes the motion to leave, I don’t hesitate. I follow her outside to her truck. She turns when she gets to the driver’s seat, and I move as close to her as possible. The fact we’ve been in the same house, and I haven’t been able to touch her has been driving me crazy.

  “Ummm,” escapes her lips as mine begin to remove from hers.

  “‘Ummm’ is right. Raegan, I don’t want you to leave, but I’m sure this isn’t the best place for this.”

  “I think you might be right.” She winks.

  Taking every ounce of willpower I have within me, I kiss the tip of her nose and tell her I’ll see her before school starts, but I’m shocked when she tells me she won’t be there. I just have a feeling she’s not telling the entire truth, but only time will tell.

  Chapter 22

  Raegan

  I drive extra slowly to the farm. Between my blurred vision and the nausea growing in my stomach, I’m terrified of what I’m going to face tomorrow. I know Grandaddy said it’s going to be okay, but I’m scared to death I’m going to lose the most important person in my life.

  As I arrive back at the farm, I’m greeted by Hank lying on the porch. I smile, but come to think of it, he’s not been around the past couple of days. I swear, if he’s knocked up that mutt down the road, Grandaddy is gonna shoot him. I call for him as I make my way to the porch.

  “Hank, please, tell me you’ve not been up to what I think,” I say to him. As he begins to wag his tail uncontrollably, I know I’m right. “He’s gonna kill ya, ya kn
ow?” He barks. I just love him. I take a few minutes to show him some loving before I go inside to get ready to call it a night. Physically, mentally, and emotionally, I’m a mess.

  Walking inside the house, I try to push tomorrow away from my mind and go to bed, but I’m unable to shake my worry. Instead, I decide a little ride around the farm is exactly what I need. I leave Grandaddy a note and walk to the shed to crank up the four-wheeler and take a ride around the beautiful Lowery farm.

  As the semi-cool breeze hits my face, the wind whips my hair. I push everything to the back of my mind. I focus on driving as fast as possible and cover every inch of the farm. Once I see the creek approaching, a ray of hope with Emmett replaces the hopeless feeling in the pit of my stomach, and I smile as happy tears stream down my face.

  The sun is well beyond setting when I make my way back to the house, and I see that Grandaddy has returned. After I park the four-wheeler, I go inside and join him in the kitchen for a quick bite to eat.

  “Looks like you had a good ride tonight?” he asks.

  “Yeah, I did. I think I covered every inch out there.”

  Trying not to put it off any longer, I ask the inevitable, “So, what time do we need to be there tomorrow?” I attempt to hide the fear in my voice.

  “I’m supposed to be there at nine for a little more blood work, and my appointment is at ten. Now, Sunshine, you don’t have to go. I’m fine to go by myself.” He tries to insist.

  “I know what you’re tryin’ to do. I know you can go by yourself, but I’m not lettin’ you,” I say forcefully.

  “Easy, Sunshine. I know you well enough to know you’re not lettin’ this go. What are you missin’ tomorrow mornin’?” he asks.

  “Just physics and English. I’m good, though,” I say.

  “A’ight. Well, I just wanted to make sure you weren’t missin’ anything too important.”

  I drop my food onto my plate. “Are you serious right now?” He looks at me like I’ve completely lost it. “Nothing, and I mean nothing, is more important than you. Stop acting like this isn’t a big deal. It’s your life. It’s precious to me, and I’m gonna be there. I don’t care if it’s not a big deal when we walk out of there tomorrow, but if it is, you aren’t going to be there alone.”

  He doesn’t say anything, but I see a glimmer of a tear form in his eyes. “Grandaddy, I’m sorry, but it’s the truth. How can you always be positive about everything?” I sincerely question.

  “Sunshine, I want you to listen to me. I’ve lived a great life. I have you, and you keep my world spinning. No matter what happens tomorrow, we will keep on keepin’ on. God won’t give us more than we can bear, but if the doctor says he’s got this, then there’s no reason to get yourself worked up. You are the strongest girl I know, so quit worrying, and let’s see what tomorrow holds.” Just like that, Grandaddy shoots it straight, and I know he’s telling the truth.

  After we finish eating, we enjoy the Atlanta Braves on TV before going to bed. “Gosh, we just need to turn ’em off. This is horrible!” he says, and I giggle.

  “Now, you know you love them, even if they aren’t hittin’ much this year. We’ve gotta go to a game this summer. Whatcha think?” I say.

  “I think that sounds like a plan, and if that pitcher starts throwing like a pansy, I’m gonna tell ’em.”

  “Night, Grandaddy,” I say as I continue to giggle down the hall.

  Once I’m inside my room, the silence allows doubt to seep back into my mind, and I listen to my favorite Miranda Lambert album on my iPod. As I place my earbuds into my ears, I turn up the volume and crawl into bed. Somewhere between “Me and Charlie Talking” and “Mama, I’m Alright,” I fall asleep.

  Sometime within the night, I pull the earbuds from my ears and pull the covers snuggly up to my chin. When the alarm sounds before dawn, I groggily make my way out of the covers and place my feet onto the cool wooden floor. Today begins like any other day, but it’s different in the same. I make my rounds on the farm, but instead of rushing to school, I move as slow as a snail toward Cleveland Hematology and Oncology.

  Emmett

  When Raegan drives away, it is almost as if she is running from something. I try to brush it off, but I can’t. There’s something that takes over when you care about someone. It’s something that makes you want to move the biggest mountain to make everything better for that person.

  As I begin to walk back inside, Mr. Lowery meets me in the driveway, yet again.

  “We’ve gotta stop meetin’ this way,” he says with a smile, but the smile soon fades when he sees the worry in my eyes.

  “Is she okay?” I question.

  “She will be. Just know when she cares about someone, she doesn’t let them go, no matter what it might look like.” He doesn’t say anything else, but that leaves the wheels spinning in my head. I’m not sure exactly what he’s talking about, but I’m going to find out.

  Chapter 23

  Raegan

  “Sunshine, you barely ate,” Grandaddy says.

  “I’m not really hungry,” I respond as I move the eggs around my plate. He leaves it at that. As he glances down at his watch, I know time is ticking like a damn bomb about to explode.

  “I guess we better get going,” he says. We walk to his truck, and I climb in the passenger seat. The ride to the doctor’s office isn’t that far, but when we pull into the parking lot, and I see the words written on the side, my insides begin to quiver. “Sunshine, it’s gonna be fine. We’ll be outta here in no time.” I smile, and we exit the truck.

  The front doors slide open as we near the entrance, and the smell of sterilization takes over my nose. Yuck! Why do all doctors’ offices have to smell like a crazy kinda clean? I walk with Grandaddy to the receptionist, and she points him toward the lab.

  “Sunshine, I’ll be right back. Just wait out here,” he says, and I nod as I take a seat and watch The View on TV. At least it takes my mind off where I am at the moment. Whoopi Goldberg is freakin’ hilarious! After they finish, Grandaddy comes out to join me.

  His arm is covered with a piece of nursing tape and a cotton ball. “It didn’t hurt. No worries,” he assures me as he glances up at the TV. “Gosh darnit! We missed Kelly this mornin’. You know, that show was so much better with Regis.” One thing about Grandaddy is he is completely honest, no matter what he’s talking about.

  After about fifteen minutes, the nurse calls him back. I look at him, waiting for the okay to follow. He reaches out his hand, and I stand as we walk back to the exam room. The nurse checks his vital signs and tells him Dr. Charles will be in shortly. While we wait, we don’t say much, but I can’t quit messing with my nails.

  When a light knock taps on the door, I stop fidgeting and put on a brave face. Dr. Charles is a middle-aged, slightly overweight man with a thick Southern drawl.

  “Mr. Lowery,” he states as he shakes his hand, and then he turns to me as Grandaddy introduces me. “Nice to meet you, Raegan,” he says before taking a seat on the little round mobile stool.

  He looks at the chart in his hands for a minute before he places it onto the small desk. The look on his face is hard to read, and the wait is killing me. I just want to scream for him to tell us already.

  “Mr. Lowery.” He stops speaking because Grandaddy asks him to call him Dover. “Dover, when we met last week, we discussed your options. When people reach a certain age, their white blood cell count can change drastically without any reason. It’s extremely common.”

  “Yes, you said basically a pill would fix it.”

  “Correct.” He pauses. “Dover, your blood work this morning shows something different.” Different? Different as in good or bad? “Your white blood cell count isn’t like the previous type of leukemia we were discussing. Instead, it is Acute Myeloid Leukemia. Dover, I hate to have to tell you this, but it’s an aggressive type of cancer.”

  My world completely stops as I look at my grandaddy’s face. A look of worry and anger engulf him. He
tries to remain calm, but there’s no use.

  “Doc, I thought you said a pill would fix this? I don’t have time for this,” he says with aggravation in his tone.

  “Dover, I understand, but you have one major factor going for you.” Grandaddy looks at him and waits. “Other than your white blood cell count, you are healthy. You don’t have high blood pressure or cholesterol. You take a vitamin every day and nothing else. You are in excellent shape, and with that being said, I believe you will do well with a treatment program geared for younger adults.”

  Grandaddy looks from me to the doctor. “Okay, tell me how this is going to work.” Dr. Charles explains the different treatment options to Grandaddy. I try to listen, but my world is spinning out of control.

  “Raegan. Raegan,” Grandaddy says as my mind continues to race.

  “Sorry, Grandaddy,” I say, completely oblivious to the conversation they had been engaged in after I realized chemotherapy was involved.

  “Do you understand what I’m agreeing to?” he asks.

  “Yes, you’re gonna take a very strong type of chemotherapy,” I tell him, and both he and Dr. Charles’ expression changes.

  “No, Raegan, I’m not going to take any treatment.” Right then my world stops, and anger flares within my soul. I stand and walk out of the exam room and straight toward the truck. To say I’m mad is an understatement. How can he do this to me? How can he leave me when I’m already alone? He can’t give up. I need him. I open the truck door, climb inside, slam the door, and scream to the top of my lungs. Not that it helps take away the pain, but at least I feel better. I replace my screams with uncontrollable sobs, and I don’t even realize we are on our way back home.

  As we pull up to the house, I push away the tears. I’m furious with my grandaddy, but I know deep down he has a reason for everything. When he puts the truck into park, he turns to look at me.