“Freckles, this is Sean’s sister. There’s no way-”
“No! You don’t speak for her. If she chooses to sleep with him, that’s up to her. All you alpha men need to learn that all of us women have the ability to make up our own minds.”
“She’s damaged,” he practically shouted, and I saw red. I didn’t even think before I shoved him up against the wall and threw a punch. I was pulled off him before I could do any more damage and Maggie stepped between us, knowing that neither of us would start anything with her standing there. I turned slightly to see Burg holding me back.
“I’m good.” He waited a moment and then released me.
“Hey, you better not be starting shit out there. Don’t make me come beat your ass,” Cazzo yelled from in the room.
“You’re done,” Sebastian said through clenched teeth.
“You’re an asshole,” Maggie said with fire burning in her eyes. “Come on, Sinner. Give me a ride home.”
I didn’t want to get in between the two of them, but there was no way I would leave Maggie somewhere she didn’t want to be. She was already halfway to the elevator when I made up my mind.
“See you around, Burg.”
I turned and walked toward Maggie, but I heard Burg plead with Cap.
“Fix this, Cap. This is a mistake.”
“I didn’t ask for your opinion. Last I checked, I’m your boss.”
I stepped onto the elevator with Maggie and then we drove home in silence. When I pulled up in front of Cap’s house, she hesitated.
“I’m sorry he’s doing this. I don’t know why he has a problem with you. I’ve never given him any idea that we could mean more to each other.”
“I know, Freckles. It’s not your fault. He has to see it for himself and until he does, I can’t work for him.”
“And I can’t be with him.”
“Freckles, don’t do anything rash.”
“I’m just going to go stay with Becky for a while. I can’t be around him anymore. I don’t know what he wants from me. I gave up my life in Pittsburgh to come here and be with him, but we haven’t moved forward at all. We’ve been together two years and he hasn’t so much as mentioned moving forward. He’s jealous all the time of what he thinks is happening between us.”
“Maybe me not being around is a good thing then. He doesn’t trust me, so if I’m not around for a while, maybe he’ll pull his head out of his ass.”
“That’s not how I want it to happen. He should just trust me.”
“I know, Freckles, but men are possessive creatures by nature. You’re lucky he hasn’t pissed all over you yet.”
“Eww. That’s gross.”
“I’m not so sure I wouldn’t do it if the right woman came along,” I grinned.
“And is Cara the right woman?”
“Freckles, we’re just messing around. Neither of us wants more.”
“Yet you attacked Sebastian when he suggested she was damaged.”
“Because I care about her and know that nobody should be saying that shit about her.”
“Uh huh. Keep telling yourself that. I’ll talk to you later. Thanks for the ride.”
She jumped out of the truck and closed the door. Knowing that he deserved everything he got, I did something stupid and called him anyway.
“What the fuck do you want?” Sebastian growled.
“Freckles is going to stay with Becky. Now, you know that we’ve never had anything between us and never will, but if you don’t get your head out of your ass, you’re going to lose her. Man the fuck up and do something about it.”
I hung up before he could say anything and headed over to Cara’s. When I knocked on her door, I was greeted with a huge smile that instantly knocked me back a couple feet. She was gorgeous.
“Hey, I wasn’t expecting you today.”
“Why’s that?”
“Well, I don’t know. I guess I figured you’d be trying to get back to work.”
“I’m officially out of a job, so I’m at your beck and call for the foreseeable future.”
She was momentarily stunned before she ushered me inside, still trying to figure out what to say.
“I don’t understand. What happened?”
I sat down on her couch and ran a hand over my face. “I had a little bit of a blow out with Sebastian.”
“Over what?”
I hesitated. I hadn’t thought about exactly what I would say and I couldn’t tell her what Sebastian had said about her. It would crush her.
“He’s had a problem with me since his wife and I became friends.”
“I don’t understand. Did you ever sleep with Maggie?”
“No, but I fucked up when he was protecting her. I was trying to figure out what she was trying to do and ended up getting bashed in the head for it. That was the start of it. Then, when Maggie and Cap broke up, I took her under my wing and started teaching her how to shoot. Let’s just say Cap wasn’t too happy about it when he found out. Now, anytime he sees us together, he thinks there’s something going on between us.”
“Is it possible she has feelings for you that you’re not seeing?”
“No, we’re like brother and sister. She’s only got eyes for him, but the jackass can’t see it.”
“So, what are you going to do for work?”
“I don’t know. I’ll have to check out other security firms, but that’ll mean moving. I’m not looking forward to leaving my team behind.”
“Couldn’t you just go apologize and get your job back?”
I shook my head vigorously. “There’s no way I’m apologizing. What he said..”
She looked in my eyes and I had to quickly look away before she read my mind.
“This isn’t just about Maggie and you is it?”
Shit. I dropped my head in my hands and ran my fingers through my short hair.
“Please tell me this isn’t about me.”
“It’s not,” I lied.
“Then why won’t you look at me?”
“Cara, it’s complicated.”
“Tell me. I need to know.” She grabbed my chin and jerked my face to hers. She stared me down, but I didn’t say a word. I couldn’t. There was no way I was going to let her in on how her own friends saw her. They were all assholes for not seeing her the way she really was.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Cara
HE DIDN’T HAVE to say anything. The anger of the situation was written all over his face. I just didn’t know what was said to cause such a harsh reaction from him. Surely, it couldn’t be anything I hadn’t already heard. The question was, why was he willing to lose his job over petty comments?
“Mark, tell me what happened. Please tell me you didn’t lose your job because of me.”
“It wasn’t because of you.”
Something about the way he said that had me thinking that what he really meant was it wasn’t my fault, but had something to do with me. I knew I wouldn’t get anything else out of him, so I nodded and released his face.
“So, where do you think you’ll look for new jobs? Anywhere in particular?”
He blew out a breath. “Honestly, I’ve never looked anywhere else, so I don’t know where I would go. I’ll have to do some research for good companies.”
“Do you have friends from your military days that you could ask?”
“Yeah, they work with Sebastian.”
Her brows furrowed. “Who?”
“Cazzo and Burg. We were all on the same Special Forces team. We were recruited together. We were all thinking of retiring and were trying to decide what to do when we left the Army. Cazzo had met Derek in basic and they kept in touch over the years. Derek had started working here two years before and actually helped Sebastian build up the company. Cazzo bought in to help fund our operations.”
“So, Cazzo and Derek are partners in the company?”
“Yeah, but they didn’t start becoming more active in the operations until recently.”
&n
bsp; “Can’t you go to Cazzo and get your job back? I mean, he’s part owner, right?”
“Lollipop, I wish it was that easy, but Sebastian is the majority shareholder. Besides, if we can’t work our shit out, there’s no way we can continue working together.”
“I guess I should start getting used to you being gone.”
I gave a small smile, but inside, it felt absolutely horrible. I had grown used to having Mark around in such a short time and he really was helping me. The sex was unbelievable and I wasn’t ready to let him go, but we made a deal and I couldn’t ask him to stay now.
“I wish it was different, Lollipop, but I’m going to need to find another job sooner or later. I have a friend out in California. There’s plenty of work out there, so I’ll probably see if I can crash with her until I find work.”
“Her?” my voice cracked.
“Are you jealous, Lollipop?” he grinned.
“No, of course not. I just didn’t realize that you had friends that were women.”
“We’re friends, aren’t we?”
My heart thudded in my chest as I thought about telling him how much I didn’t want to be just his friend. When I finally spoke, my words came out in a whisper. “I think we’re so much more than just friends, Mark.”
He leaned in and brushed his lips against mine. “I think you might be right,” he said softly. He kissed me harder, leaving me breathless. Then, he carried me to my room and showed me just how much we weren’t friends. When we were lying on the bed panting afterward, he rolled over and kissed me, then got dressed and left. I was so confused. He was sending so many mixed signals. I knew he wanted me, but he still didn’t stay, proving that in his mind we were still fuck buddies. Then again, he had to find a new job and would most likely be moving across the country. Maybe it was just easier if we didn’t allow it to be more.
✯✯✯✯✯
Sarah and I were having our morning coffee as we waited for the kids to wake up for the day. We had already planned out meals for the week and made a shopping list for Sarah. She would do the shopping and get a break for a little while and I would watch the kids.
“So, how are things going with Mark?”
“Um..They’re good.”
“That’s it? That’s all you’re going to give me?”
“He lost his job and I think it might be because of me.”
“How would it be because of you?”
“Sean was spouting off at me about how Mark had a reputation and he didn’t want him anywhere near me. I think he might have said something to Sebastian.”
Her eyes grew wide. “You don’t think Sebastian would fire him just because Sean doesn’t want him near you, do you?”
“I don’t think that’s the only reason, but I think it’s part of it. Mark said that they came to blows over Sebastian’s jealousy of his relationship with Maggie.”
Sarah grimaced. “Uh, there was this one night that we were over at Ryan’s house before Cassandra died. We were talking about how men never listen and Cassandra suggested that we test them on how close they were listening. We were talking about eating ice cream and how they don’t clean up after themselves and make a mess everywhere. Maggie might have taken it too far.”
“Oh no. What did she say?”
“Well, she may have made it sound like she was sleeping with Sinner. The guys were listening on the stairs and so she made it sound like she was getting some from Sinner on the side. What she was really talking about was how Sinner took her out for ice cream after they went to the shooting range.”
I smacked my forehead. “No wonder Sebastian has such a problem with Mark.”
“Good morning, ladies,” Drew said as he came into the kitchen.
“Drew, you look like you could use a day off.” He had bags under his eyes and he wasn’t moving quite as fast as he normally did.
“Work’s been rough. I won’t be home until late.”
“Again,” Sarah said as she rolled her eyes.
“Yes, again. Do you want me to piss off my bosses so I can sit around with you ladies and gab all day?”
Sarah stood and narrowed her eyes at Drew. “Gab all day? Did you seriously just say that to me?”
“Come on, Sarah. It’s not like you’re out doing physical labor like I am. I’ve been working long days, so please don’t bust my balls over semantics.”
“Semantics? You basically just said that taking care of four kids, four, Drew, is easy work. You were barely here while Cara was out and you have no idea what it was like for me. The twins are two months old and Henry and Charlotte are little hellions during the day. Frankly, I was wondering how Cara was going to handle it on her own when I go back to work.”
“What are you saying? You want to stay home with her so we can pay to have a nanny help you out?”
“Hey, you guys. Maybe you should talk about this when you’re not so tired,” I interjected. “You guys have both been under a lot of stress. Why don’t you both step back before you say something you don’t mean.”
Drew clenched his jaw and walked out the door. I turned to Sarah who looked absolutely devastated.
“What’s going on? This didn’t just happen over the weekend.”
“No, Drew’s having a hard time with Cassandra’s death.”
“Why?”
“I think it reminds him of what happened when his wife died. Everything just changes so fast and he got to run away, but Ryan has an eleven year old to think of. Drew’s been taking turns with the other guys to go over and get him out of his funk, but I don’t think it’s working.”
“Still, that doesn’t explain why he’s taking it out on you. We’re not talking about one baby here. We’re talking about four.”
“I know, but Drew doesn’t typically help out a lot. He tries to, but I tend to take over because he doesn’t do things the way I like and it irritates me. That’s what happened this weekend. He came home from work and he wanted to help, but I just wanted to get stuff done my way. He got pissed and went out with the guys.”
“Sarah, you have to let him help. Even if he does it the wrong way. He’s trying and the more you tell him he’s doing it the wrong way, the less he’ll want to help.”
“I know, but I think sometimes he does things the wrong way just to get out of helping with things.”
“Are you really thinking about staying home instead of going back to work?”
“Yeah. It would be different if Henry and Charlotte were in preschool, but they aren’t and it’s a lot of work for one person. I was thinking of taking a year off.”
“But would your boss hire someone to replace you?”
She sighed, “Probably, but I have all that money from Todd’s life insurance policy. It’s more money than I could ever spend in one lifetime. I’ve already set money aside for each of the kids and I’ve put some in a retirement account, but there’s plenty left over for me to take a year off.”
“Look, if Drew doesn’t think it’s a good idea to pay for a nanny if you stay home, I’ll understand.”
“What would you do for a job?”
“Sarah, I don’t want to be kept on out of pity. If this is the choice that you and Drew make, I’ll understand.”
“Drew has no idea what it’s like. I need to find a way to show him.”
“Well, do what’s right for you and your husband, and don’t even consider me in the equation.”
✯✯✯✯✯
I trudged home from Sarah’s house feeling like absolute shit. I felt like I was coming between the two of them and I just couldn’t handle that. As much as it scared me, I was going to have to get a job soon. Sarah sounded pretty certain that she wanted to take some time off work and I couldn’t blame her. They were her kids after all.
I was just walking up to my front door when headlights appeared in the driveway. Since Drew was already home, it could only be Sinner or my brother. I hoped like hell that it wasn’t my brother. I had no desire to see him anytime soon.
When the lights shut off, I could clearly see that it was Sinner. Just the sight of him had my core tightening with need.
“How’s it going, Lollipop?”
“Better, now that you’re here.”
“Why? What’s going on?”
I turned and unlocked the door and walked inside. I didn’t even bother to hang up my stuff. I just plopped everything on the ground and walked to the couch.
“Drew and Sarah got in a big fight this morning and I feel like it’s all my fault.”
“Why would it be your fault? Married couples fight all the time.”
I sighed and rubbed my forehead. “Drew made some comment about not being able to sit around and talk with us all day. Sarah took offense to it because he doesn’t really understand how hard it is to take care of four kids under the age of four all day long. It’s exhausting. Sarah said that she didn’t know if I would be able to handle it by myself when she went back to work, implying that she would take more time off and Drew said that he didn’t want to pay for a nanny if she was going to stay home.”
“I still don’t see how that’s your fault.”
I thought about if I really wanted to voice my fears to Mark. He was a great listener, but there was only so much I could take of showing him exactly how insecure I was.
“Hey, Lollipop, tell me what’s on your mind.”
“After what happened a week ago, I guess I just wonder if they think I’ll flip at any time and leave them hanging. Maybe they think..”
“Maybe they think what?”
“That I’m not worth it,” I whispered.
Tears filled my eyes as feelings of self-loathing took over. I hated always feeling this way. Why couldn’t I be like a normal person and have good feelings about myself? This had been going on for so long that I didn’t know how to think any differently. Then, to top it off, every time I thought I was getting better, something would happen and Sean would be there to remind me how broken I was.
Sinner: A Reed Security Romance Page 12