by Cherry Adair
“Oh, God.” Jessie closed her eyes. The sensation of him filling her was exquisite. She felt the roughness of his hand move up her side, lingering on the indent of her waist before climbing to her breast. He caught her nipple between his fingers, manipulating the hard bud until she moaned. Instinctively, insistently, she wanted to press down.
His left hand held her hips still. “This is torture,” she complained, panting now, body on fire. She blindly found his mouth, sliding her tongue inside only to shudder deliciously at the dark, familiar flavor of him.
She used her own hands to tease and torment him. His nipples were just as hard as hers, his skin just as slick, as he drew out the agony for both of them.
Jessie tasted the salty skin on his shoulder, nipping him with her teeth until she felt him leap inside her. She trembled and pressed down, her body desperate to start the rhythm that would bring them both release.
His hand firmly on her hip frustrated and aroused her. She used her hands to drive him wild, feeling his low growl of excitement in her own bones and tissue. Blood rushed in fiery trails through her body and electrified her skin.
Joshua shifted his hips slightly, lifting her enough to lave her breasts with the hot, dark promise of his mouth. She clung to his shoulders, digging her short nails into his skin, wild with wanting, frantic for release.
I love you. I love you. I love you, Jessie wanted to cry out loud. She bit her lip instead, her mind spinning, her reason going. She pressed down against the punishing grip of his hand on her hips.
He muffled her shout against his chest as he plunged inside her with enough force to convulse her body, the sensation so piercingly exquisite, tears squeezed between her tightly closed lids. Every muscle, every nerve in her body participated. She arched her back, grinding in counterpoint as she felt the sweet waves of release building.
Joshua’s face was sheened with sweat, his eyes glazed and unfocused. Jessie could feel her internal muscles pulling him deeper. She watched through her own sweat and tears as his jaw grew rigid and the tendons in his neck stood out in relief.
The climax they shared seemed to go on forever. Their bodies locked in mortal combat until they collapsed, satiated.
Jessie leaned weakly against him, her arms leaden, her body limp. Sweat cooled on her burning skin. Small tremors shook her as sharp aftershocks clenched muscles and nerve endings already pushed beyond endurance.
One moment she was awake. The next she wasn’t. Her hand lay curled against his chest, and her breathing was deep and still uneven. Joshua watched her with a bittersweet twist in his gut. He ran a light finger down her bare arm, her skin feeling like satin. She didn’t move. He’d still been inside her when she’d fallen asleep as easily as turning off a light switch. She hadn’t even twitched as he’d carried her to the bedroom in the back of the plane.
In that fleeting moment, she was more precious to him than his most priceless sculpture, his most exquisite work of art. Her loveliness had increased as he’d known her—not just the animated face she showed to the world, but the soft, intensely private face she wore when no one was looking.
It was becoming almost impossible to keep any emotional distance from her. Jessie could always make him smile. And each time, he felt an unfamiliar softening inside him. He wasn’t sure he liked it, but didn’t know how to prevent the odd sensation.
He wanted to gather her against his body, hard, and never let her go. She was a priceless treasure, and he’d been complacent in his possession of her, until he’d seen her so pale and weak.
Only then had he instantly and painfully realized that, unlike a painting or sculpture, Jessie could be taken from him. By something even he couldn’t fight, couldn’t negotiate and couldn’t buy.
CHAPTER NINE
ALTHOUGH JESSIE HAD lost some of her tan, she glowed with good health tonight. The lighting illuminated her face as she leaned forward in her seat, absorbed by the action onstage. Joshua smiled as her lips moved silently with the music. Alone with her in the small secluded box overlooking the stage, he couldn’t resist running his hand lightly up her back, letting his fingers rest under the thick fall of her hair. She wore a tangerine-colored dress with straps that crossed her smooth back. Her long coral-and-jet earrings made a soft tinkling sound against the back of his hand.
Jessie turned, giving him the special smile that touched his heart. His fingers tightened slightly and her smile widened. “Phantom is absolutely wonderful,” she whispered, her breath soft against his face as she leaned over. In the flickering light Jessie’s eyes sparkled. “Thank you so much for bringing me t—”
She was just too damn hard to resist. He kissed her. Not the way he needed to. That would have them thrown out of the theater. Joshua simply ran his tongue back and forth over her lower lip, tasting the liquid sunshine of her smile. The arm of the plush seat dug into his ribs.
The theater and music disappeared. She moaned as he pushed aside the hem of her dress and slid his hand up her thigh.
The audience applauded and the house lights came up.
Jessie giggled as they abruptly parted. Joshua leaned back in his seat, and pushed his hair back with both hands in a frustrated attempt at control. He felt his own lips twitch in response to her amusement.
“You’re going to get us arrested one of these days.” Frustration made his voice low.
Jessie’s big brown eyes widened mockingly, dancing with naughty highlights. “Who me?” She pulled her skirt down over her knees. “It’s not my fault you can’t keep your hands to yourself.”
“Yes, it is.” Joshua untangled an earring from her hair. “What the hell am I going to do with you, Jess? When I’m around you I behave like a randy schoolboy.” And when he wasn’t around her he thought like one.
Jessie fleetingly traced his mouth with her fingertips, bringing him sharply back into focus. “And I behave like a randy schoolgirl. So what?” She rose out of her seat, her slender body sensuous and graceful as she reached down to take his hand. “It’s hot in here. Come on. Let’s go downstairs for something cold to drink during intermission.”
By the time they traversed the crowds and descended the stairs to the lobby, Jessie looked pale under her makeup. Joshua thought she’d been feeling better since they’d returned from Monte Carlo. She’d refused to see a doctor. He didn’t like worrying about her. He wasn’t used to worrying about anyone.
“I’m taking you home.”
Jessie looked up at him sharply. “Why?”
“You look like you’re about to pass out.”
“I’m not. It’s just warm in here.” She licked her lips. “I’m loving the play. I’m fine, truly, Joshua. Let’s stand outside for a little bit and get some fresh air. Okay?”
“It’s freezing out there. Wait here. I’ll get your coat.” He glanced over her head. “Damn, this is all I need.”
“What? Who?” Jessie glanced around. “Oh, Paul and Stacie.”
Joshua watched as his cousin and wife came toward him. Paul was a decent enough guy, if one didn’t expect him to work for a living. As tall as Joshua, with equally dark hair, they had often been mistaken for brothers. But while Joshua worked seven days a week, twelve hours a day, Paul seemed to think the world owed him a living. His cousin had never resented Joshua having the controlling interest in Falcon’s. He was more than happy to cash his dividend checks and continue his carefree lifestyle. Joshua hadn’t seen either of them in almost a year. He could have gone another year without seeing his cousin’s wife.
Petite and blond, Stacie hadn’t changed her Grace Kelly hairstyle in ten years. She always wore discreetly elegant, understated clothes and maintained a superior aloof air that had, years ago, driven him mad. She looked dull and far too controlled to Joshua now as she smiled up at him with collagen-enhanced lips.
“Paul. Stacie.” Joshua’s
hand tightened at Jessie’s waist as she listed against him. He gave her a worried glance before glancing back at the other couple.
He could look at Stacie dispassionately, her cool blond beauty seemed soulless against Jessie’s vibrancy. He couldn’t believe he’d ever asked this woman to marry him.
Stacie’s contact-lens-blue eyes flickered from Joshua to Jessie and then, dismissing the other woman, back to Joshua. He noticed she and Paul stood several feet apart.
“You’ve met Jessica Adams?” He asked though he didn’t give a damn. The room was hot. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a faint sheen on Jessie’s face.
Diamonds sparkled in Stacie’s ears as she shot an amused glance up at Jessie. “Oh, yes, darling, we’ve met your calendar girl.” She laughed. He used to think that trilling laughter sexy. Now all he wanted to do was put his hands around her diamond-encircled throat and squeeze. Hard.
Stacie stroked his arm. Her nails were fashionably long and a deep wine color. Joshua shook her off. He felt as though a spider had crawled along his sleeve.
“No need to be angry, darling. It is an indisputable fact you only keep your mistresses for a year.”
“We were just on our way outside for a breath of fresh air.” He ignored Stacie. “Nice seeing you, Paul. Come to a board meeting sometime.” Holding on to Jessie he moved through the crowd to the doors leading to the street.
“Oh, Lord, it is hot in here.” Stacie fanned her perfectly made-up face with her program as she followed them. Her perfume, while ridiculously expensive, was as repulsive to Joshua now as fly spray. The foyer was packed, body to body. There was no moving quickly, no matter how much he wanted to. Her voice rose as she said over her shoulder, “Get me a drink, Paulie. I’ll meet you outside.”
As people gave way, Joshua kept a careful arm about Jessie’s waist. Her face was paler now and damp strands of dark hair clung to the moisture at her temples.
“Do you need to sit down again?” He felt her slender body tremble against his arm and saw her swallow convulsively. “Bathroom?” He was already steering her in that direction as Jessie nodded mutely.
It seemed as if she were inside for hours. Joshua held up the wall. Ignoring the few people lingering about the lobby, Joshua finally pushed open the door to the ladies’ room.
“Oh, my God, Joshua! You can’t come in here!” Jessie looked up from where she leaned against the vanity counter, a damp tissue at her throat. Her color was back, and she had fixed her hair and applied lipstick.
“You’ve been in here for hours.” The carpet felt plush underfoot as he walked toward her, his gaze fixed on her face. The room smelled of woman. Combined perfumes and powders, silks and furs, the lighting flatteringly muted.
Jessie met him halfway, slipping her hand into his. “Thank you for coming to find me.” Her eyes danced. “Is the coast clear out there? Can we go and see the last act?”
“You don’t want to go home to bed?” Joshua pushed open the door, ignoring the stares as he ushered Jessie across the lobby and upstairs.
“Nah. I feel great. I was just a little wonky for a minute.”
Joshua settled in his seat beside her just as the opening bar of music began. He took her hand, placing it against his knee. He inhaled deeply her scent of fresh peach and Joy. “I’m sorry she took those shots at you.”
“They didn’t bother me,” Jessie assured him. “I feel sorry for her. Anyone that mean must be very unhappy.”
Joshua closed his eyes as the music swelled in time with his heart. Only Jessie could feel sorry for a woman like Stacie. Bringing their clasped hands to his chest, Joshua leaned back to enjoy the rest of the play, Jessie’s hand against his heart.
His biggest concern right now was Jessie’s health. These weak spells were happening with alarming regularity. He didn’t like Jessie being sick. Tomorrow he would insist she see a specialist.
On the way home, she dozed contentedly beside him in the car. But when he was about to take his freeway exit, she’d asked sleepily to be taken to her cottage instead. He could tell that, although she was no longer pale, she was distracted.
He insisted on going upstairs with her, because he wanted to make sure she was really fine. They made love with slow, delicious languor and fell asleep in each other’s arms.
Joshua was rudely jerked awake by Jessie’s alarm clock. She mumbled in her sleep as he dressed and let himself out.
It was icy cold and pitch-dark as he climbed into the car and stuck the key in the ignition. Damn. The engine turned over, loud in the absolute silence. He rested his hands on the top of the steering wheel and stared back at the dark windows of her cottage, imagining Jessie snuggled deep amid her blankets, sleeping securely the whole night through in her own bed.
He felt...cheap.
He glanced at the clock on the dash then started to laugh.
It was 3:00 a.m.
* * *
THEY FLEW TO Tahoe for a few days. The weather was cold and sharply crisp. While Jessie cooked a roast, Joshua sat in the kitchen. She smiled as he meticulously folded linen napkins and stuffed them into the little copper napkin rings she’d brought with her.
Jessie opened the oven to baste the meat. The house was already filled with the mouthwatering scents of the meal.
Joshua, finished with the table, poured two glasses of wine. He set hers on the counter where she’d been cutting the lattice for an apple pie. “I’m starving,” he complained, tying a towel around her waist. Jessie couldn’t see the point: she was already covered practically from head to toe with flour.
“Take the roast out so it can rest, then we can eat.” She waited until he’d set the heavy pan on the counter before saying casually, “How do you feel about Thanksgiving?”
His eyebrows rose. “Thanksgiving?”
“Yes. The holiday that comes in November?”
He smiled indulgently. “I don’t care, one way or the other. Why?”
“I love Thanksgiving. Can we come up here for it?”
“Sure. I don’t see why not.”
She’d never cooked a turkey in her life. Jessie mentally started planning. She wanted the holiday to be perfect. There would be turkey, pies.... This Thanksgiving had to be Joshua’s best. She wanted to give him good holiday memories to store up.
The roast leg of lamb turned out perfectly, moist and tender, the potatoes fluffy and the carrots glazed to perfection.
Joshua laughed. “You are the only woman I know who sounds as if she’s having sex when she’s eating.”
She loved seeing him so completely relaxed. He was wearing the jeans she’d bought him last time and a fisherman knit sweater that did very nice things to his shoulders. “I love holidays.” She felt warm and dreamy and so content she could melt.
After being told to take her wine into the living room, she lounged in front of the fire while Joshua cleaned up the kitchen. He came and sat on the other end of the sofa, pulling her feet into his lap. He massaged her toes through her thick, wool socks.
“When I was a kid,” she said, watching the fire spark and leap in the stone fireplace, “I had a scrapbook. I’d look for food pictures and holiday pictures and paste them into my special book. I loved the pictures of families the best. You know the ones? Happy moms and kids eating Campbell’s soup in a big country kitchen.”
He stopped kneading. “What happened to the book?”
She felt herself blush. “I still have it. Silly, huh?”
“No.” His voice sounded rough, and she turned her head to look at him. “It’s damn sad. Why have you never married and had the family you so obviously want, Jessie?”
Tell him, she thought. Oh, God, this was the perfect opportunity to tell him. The words gathered and dispersed in her mind. All the food coupled with wine and the warmth of the fire had dulled her bra
in. The moment passed.
“I fell in love with the wrong knight.”
“How old were you?”
“Twenty-one.”
“Did he break your heart forever?” he asked roughly, setting her feet aside so he could throw more logs into the already roaring fire. She watched the sweater stretch over his broad shoulders and the way the jeans lovingly cupped his behind.
“At the time I thought so.” I had no idea how much worse it could get.
“I never thought such a thing as love really existed.” He picked up her feet, pulling off her socks. He tossed them on the floor. His hands, big and warm, closed over her bare toes. “It hardly seems worth the risk of a broken heart.”
“What you get from love is greater than the risk of never loving at all.” She would have this year to remember for the rest of her life.
“If you get to know someone too well, you can see all their faults and failings.” He stared into the orange flames, his jaw set. Outside, the darkness pressed against the windows, cocooning them in a suddenly very small world.
“Or you can learn to care?” she said softly.
He shrugged, looking uncomfortable. “I despise anyone weak.”
“Perhaps they were just human?” Who was he talking about? Stacie? His mother?
A muscle jumped in his jaw. “My father saw me as weak.”
“You were weak, Joshua,” Jessie said softly. “You were a child.”
“The thought of being that weak again terrifies me.” He said it like a grim confession. Jessie’s heart ached for him.
“Love makes people strong, Joshua. The love of a mother for a child, or a man for a woman. We all need someone to care about us. We all try to attain that special place where we feel loved and safe.”
“People are exactly where they want to be.” His eyes appeared particularly pale as he turned to her. “The choices we all make lead us to where we are at any given time. If a person doesn’t like where they are then they should make different choices, shouldn’t they, Jessie?”