by Cherry Adair
“I suppose so,” she answered drowsily. She’d certainly made a series of bad choices. His logic seemed rather convoluted, but then she was almost asleep.
A log popped. Joshua’s fingers kneaded her instep. Jessie floated in a warm haze.
“Let’s have a party when we get back,” Joshua said out of the blue.
“Mmm, okay.”
“I want a big party, Jessie. We’ll invite everyone we know. You can boss around the caterers and staff to your heart’s content.” Jessie felt a small smile curve her mouth.
“Like parties suddenly?” she asked around a yawn. She thought he hated parties.
“This one will be spectacular.”
“Joshua,” she said, on the precipice of sleep. “Why are you having a party?”
October
“GOOD TIMING. I just woke up from a nap. Oh goodie, chocolate.” Jessie reached for a cookie off the Spode plate. Archie and Conrad had arrived unannounced at the cottage bearing chocolate chip cookies. She’d led them into her small kitchen overlooking the vegetable garden.
Jessie absently coiled her hair in a knot and secured it off her neck with a pencil while the two men exchanged a glance over her head.
“What did the doctor say?” Conrad demanded.
“How are arrangements going for the party tomorrow?” Archie asked at the same time. He handed Jessie a paper towel, shooting Conrad a narrow look.
“Great.” She poured them coffee and herself a glass of water. “I love bossing people around. I’ve found I have a real knack for it.” She sat down and took another bite of her cookie. “In fact, I’m going over there in a couple of hours to check on things and have dinner with Joshua. It’s so sweet of him to have a party to show off the house.”
“Yeah,” Conrad said dryly. “Sweet.”
“Well, it is.”
“He’s proud of the job you did,” Archie pointed out. “Your work has been getting better and better, Jess. He wants to showcase your talent.”
“What a nice thing to say.” She licked chocolate off her thumb as the two men lapsed into a rather loud silence. Jessie sighed. “I have good news and I have...other news.”
“What’s the good news?” Conrad crossed his feet before snagging a cookie he didn’t really want.
“The good news is...I’m glad you think my talents are improving ’cause I’ll be coming back to work full-time...soon.” It was pretty weak, but, after all, this was just the dress rehearsal. Right now she felt as if she were in the hot seat as two sets of eyes bored into the center of her forehead.
“Well?” Archie prodded when she didn’t say anything for a few moments.
“The other news is...I’m pregnant.” Jessie looked from one to the other. “And don’t either of you say I told you so,” she warned as they exchanged glances.
“I thought you were using birth control now.”
Jessie pulled a wry face. “Most of the time in the last few months, yes.”
“It’s supposed to be used every time,” Conrad pointed out unnecessarily.
“Sometimes there was no time.”
“Oh, please don’t!” Conrad rolled his eyes.
“Oh, well, another little thing gone awry with life,” Archie said drolly, patting her hand. She gave him a smile.
“You don’t consider that bad news?” Conrad dropped his feet to the floor, leaned his elbows on the table and scowled.
“Nope.” Jessie bit into another cookie.
“Then why have you been biting your nails?”
“Tonight I’m going to tell Joshua everything—”
“Everything?” Archie’s eyebrows rose.
“Everything.” Jessie rose to stand by the window. The garden looked sad and gloomy in the half-light. Most of the trees were bare and there weren’t many flowers. She had to try to remember that after winter, came spring. No matter what. “Oh, God. What a mess. I’m ecstatic about the baby. Thrilled. Over the moon. But I’m terrified of Joshua’s reaction.”
“Isn’t that a little like the thief that’s sorry after he’s caught?” Conrad asked soberly.
“I wasn’t caught.” Jessie chewed her thumbnail. “I really thought I could pull this off, but you guys were right.” She leaned back against the windowsill, braced by her arms. She wore her fluffy pink robe but her feet were bare, and cold, on the vinyl floor. She shivered.
“I should have been up front from the beginning. I thought I’d get pregnant faster. I never planned on this.” She swallowed the lump in her throat with difficulty before she managed to tell them both what they knew already. “All I’ve done is fall more deeply in love with Joshua.” She sighed. “This is going to cut what little time we had left short. Finding out he’s about to become a father won’t send him dancing through the streets in celebration.”
She pushed away from the window, crossed back to sit at the table and pulled her feet up beneath her. She wrapped her arms around her knees.
“The game was fine when it was just the two of us. But I’m not going to play games with our baby. I can’t lie by omission anymore. Besides—” she rested her chin on her knees “—how can I expect Joshua to make a rational decision about us when he doesn’t know all the facts?”
“He’ll be furious,” Archie warned.
“I know,” Jessie said calmly. “But I still have to tell him.”
* * *
JOSHUA WALKED INTO the dining room and surveyed it with a critical eye. The table was elegantly draped with a pale-pink damask tablecloth, the delicate cream-and-blush-colored roses had been part of Jessie’s order from South America for the party tomorrow night. China and silver gleamed. Stemware sparkled.
He swallowed the dryness in his throat as he checked his pocket for perhaps the twentieth time in the past half hour. God, he was as nervous as a schoolboy. He smiled self-consciously as he walked back down the hall into his den and poured himself a stiff drink.
Jessie was magic. His talisman against the cold loneliness he’d let fill his life. Jessie was warmth and laughter. She made him believe he really mattered to her. She made him believe she knew a part of him no one else had ever seen. She was soft and loving, and so open and honest with her feelings; it was like looking into a crystal-clear mountain pool.
Joshua sank into his favorite chair. In the gathering darkness he could see part of the curving driveway from the mullioned windows in his den. He’d be able to see Jessie’s little red car as she approached the house.
Jessie with her sparkling brown eyes and throaty laugh. Jessie with her electric hair. Jessie with her long, slender dancer’s body. She had that sensuous way of moving that always made him want her.
If what he had with Jessie was just good sex, it would have been easy to dismiss. He’d had good sex before. But with Jessie even the sex was different. As much as he’d tried to deny it, Jessie was right. It was lovemaking. It was glorious, blow-the-top-of-your-head-off great. But there was more. There was her humor, her intelligence, her honesty and integrity. With Jessie he had learned to relax, smell the flowers. And finally, in a small measure, Joshua had to admit he’d learned to trust.
He suddenly wished he had married half a dozen times, because with Jessie he wanted everything to be perfect. If he’d tried a real marriage before, he’d have the bugs worked out by now.
He rolled up the sleeves of his blue-and-white striped dress shirt then rolled them down again. Was he too dressed up? Was he too stuffy? Should he wear the jeans she’d bought him? Christ, this was ridiculous—he’d already changed twice. He laughed out loud, ridiculously happy.
Jessie would be home soon. They would have a drink, go through to dinner, and after the staff served dessert, he would take the little box out of his pocket. Joshua closed his eyes, leaning back in the big leather chair as he imagined the look
on Jessie’s face when she saw the ring. She’d get that sexy little twinkle in her glorious eyes, probably jump up and fling herself at him.... Joshua lost himself in pleasant daydreams.
He hadn’t heard her car but he heard the front door open. Heard Jessie’s high heels on the marble, the wood, the carpet.
He opened his eyes. God, she looked glorious in a royal-blue wool dress and high-heeled black suede boots. She tossed the dark coat she carried onto a chair by the door.
Her hair was curled wildly from the wind, her cheeks flushed, her eyes bright. Without a word she crossed the room and settled herself on his lap, curling her arms about his neck, the sweet curve of her butt nestled against him. She smelled of fresh peaches as she raised her mouth to his.
“Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?” she said in a Mae West drawl.
Joshua laughed, burying his hands in her hair. It was still a little damp and smelled of peach shampoo. He crushed her mouth with a bruising kiss, plumbing the depths as she relaxed against his chest. Her fingers curled around his open collar, holding on for dear life.
“God, Jess,” he managed to moan before she lowered her head again.
“We have to talk,” Jessie said against his throat. She sounded reluctant. He ran his hand down the soft wool covering her back.
They were going to have a lifetime to talk. “After dinner. How do I get into this thing?” Her skin was warm as he slowly lowered the zipper down her back, detouring to unclasp her bra on the way down.
After Joshua had peeled away the dress, Jessie stood so it could fall unnoticed to the floor. She looked seductive in tiny bikini briefs and black boots. He slid his hands up her thighs to her hips, drawing her close for another kiss.
She yelped when he swung her up in his arms. With one swipe, he cleared his big burl desk, laying her down on the cool leather surface.
“This feels very naughty.” Her voice was husky, her eyes alive, the lights in them dancing. The heels of her boots tapped on the face of the desk.
“You’re overdressed.” He pulled the small damp strip of satin down her smooth legs. Jessie sprawled bonelessly, her breath uneven.
He dropped the fragrant scrap to the carpet, running his hands up the flexing muscles of her long legs. And he laughed hoarsely when she said in a lazy drawl, “Glad you got rid of that. No wonder I was so hot.”
She watched him through heavy-lidded eyes as he stripped off the shirt he’d so carefully put on. Her eyes grew lambent, her knees flexed, as he kicked off his shoes and dragged socks and slacks off in two swift jerks.
He’d wanted it to last. He’d wanted to linger over each delectable soft inch. Showing her how much he wanted her. Loving her until she was too weak to refuse him anything. But the moment he plunged into her tight, slick warmth, the moment he felt the rough suede of her boot-clad legs wrap about his flanks, he was lost.
Their climax was immediate and turbulent, leaving him stretched across her body, his face pressed against her damp neck.
“It was a gun in your pocket,” Jessie said with a faint laugh.
He gently lifted the drift of hair off her face and used the backs of his fingers to explore the texture of her sex-warmed cheek.
With his other hand he tilted her face up before dipping his head toward her. She gave him a drowsy, sexy look at the touch of his lips on her forehead.
He stroked down her side, enjoying the way her skin shimmered under his hand. He continued to pet her and she groaned, rising up to bury her face against his shoulder. Their bodies were slick with sweat.
“I’ll give you twenty years to stop that.” Jessie looked like a wanton, pagan princess with her hair spread in a dark cloud, her arms curved seductively above her head. Joshua stood between her thighs, his arms braced against the desk.
“You’re insatiable.”
Eyes that were almost all pupil stared back at him. Sleepy, sensuous and sated. “That’s a problem?” she asked lazily as her foot slid up the back of his thigh, and she ran her hands up the muscles flexing in his arms.
“Not to me, it isn’t.” Her feet met and crossed in the small of his back; he could feel her sharp high heels drawing him closer. He braced his arms firmly for a moment, looking at her with fresh new eyes, his heart playing an unfamiliar beat.
“You drive me wild, Jessie Adams. When I’m with you I want you. When we’re apart I think about you constantly. You worry me. You make me laugh. You make me believe in dreams.”
Her crossed ankles proved stronger than his will as she drew him against the open heat of her. Joshua lowered his chest, feeling the pillowy softness of her breasts flatten under him. He whispered against her swollen mouth, “I want to wrap you in a cloud and put you on top of the highest mountain to keep you safe.” His gaze never wavered as he lifted her hand to his lips. “I’m excited by you, Jessie, and yet strangely calmed by your presence. You’re unpredictable and your crazy hobbies give me heart palpitations. You have the strangest, strongest set of principles of anyone I know, and I’m learning to trust you more than I have ever trusted another human being in my life.”
Her face drained of color, deathly pale. He felt the flutter of her fingers as she tried to withdraw her hand from his. “What is it, love?” Jessie bit her lip and worry immediately slammed into his chest.
She closed her eyes for the longest moment then licked her lips before she looked up at him. “I went to the doctor today.” Her voice shook. She bit her bottom lip and took a deep, shuddering breath, her eyes dark and huge.
A cold chill of dread raced up his spine. He lifted himself away from her, sex the last thing on his mind now. For a moment he felt as though every particle of his body had frozen. A fear he’d never known drew a black ominous cloud over his vision. It made his heart jerk and his hands sweat.
He blinked, too terrified to look at her and yet too terrified not to. He thrust his fingers through his hair in frustration and swore under his breath. “You went to the doctor today.... Oh, Christ, Jessie.” Joshua squeezed his eyes shut, a fist squeezing his heart. He forced open his eyes. Her lips were bloodless, her eyes dark with pain. Oh, God, it was bad, really bad, for Jessie to be this upset.
“What the hell did he say? Whatever it is we can deal with it together. Christ, I have more money than God. We’ll get the best specialists on the planet. We’ll—”
The phone rang just as Jessie said his name in a terrified, tremulous voice and struggled to sit up.
“Tell me, for Christ’s sake,” he demanded, ignoring the insistent ringing of the phone inches from Jessie’s head. It wasn’t like Jessie to be reticent in telling him anything he wanted to know. Her wonderfully expressive brown eyes wouldn’t meet his. The phone’s insistent ringing was annoying the shit out of him.
“Tell me,” he ground out, his back teeth grinding painfully.
“I—I—” Jessie’s teeth bit into her lower lip. “Answer the phone first.”
“The hell with it. What did the doctor s—”
Jessie grabbed the phone off the hook and handed it to him.
“Yes!” Joshua snatched the instrument to his ear, his eyes fixed on Jessie’s averted face. What the hell would he do if Jessie died? What the hell would—
“What did you say?” he demanded as he registered what Felix had just said on the other end of the phone. “Vera wants five million dollars?”
If possible Jessie went even whiter. Hell, this evening wasn’t going exactly as he’d planned. He’d thought to propose first, explain his sham marriage later. The shit would hit the fan now. Jessie had the strangest expression on her face as she slid off his desk.
“Fine. Give it to her!” Joshua snapped at Felix, impatient to get off the phone. Jessie had pulled on her dress. She looked sick as she frantically searched for her underwear. Joshua found the scrap of sa
tin stuffed between the papers on the floor and handed it to her. She crammed it into her purse and grabbed her coat by the door. “Just pay her off. It’s worth it.” Joshua slammed the phone down. Jessie stood poised, ready for flight out the door.
“Now, what aren’t you telling me? What the hell did the doctor say?”
* * *
SHE WORE A sunflower-yellow wool dress which covered her from her throat to midcalf. Suede high-heeled boots in a deep cinnamon matched the turtleneck under the dress. In her ears she wore huge painted sunflowers. She looked vibrantly alive and breathtakingly lovely.
And furiously angry.
“And I couldn’t have talked right then if my life had depended on it,” Jessica told Felix angrily. She stood before his desk, having driven to his San Francisco office to be there at precisely nine the next morning. “I was so darn mad, I ran. God only knows what Joshua thought.” She drew an angry breath. “I know you’re his lawyer, Felix, but I thought you and I had a business arrangement. So would you please explain to me why ‘Vera’ wants five—” she almost choked on the amount “—five million dollars?”
The intercom buzzed announcing Simon Falcon. Jessie rolled her eyes. “Did you call him in a panic while I cooled my heels in your waiting room? Damn it, Felix. How could you do this to me?”
Simon closed the door behind him, resting his hand on Jessie’s shoulder. “Sit down, honey. This is not what you think.”
Jessie shook off his hand and flopped furiously into the soft leather chair opposite Felix’s desk. She glared first at Joshua’s lawyer, then at his uncle. “What are you two up to? I told you years ago to stop taking Joshua’s money.” Jessie clenched her fist on her knee. “Damn it, I’ve almost saved enough to repay what I have taken for the past seven years. No wonder he’s got such a poor opinion of women. And now you two have made it even worse. God. I can’t take much more of this,” she said thickly, dashing impatiently at the persistent tears.
“Just hang in there, honey.” Simon looked at her worriedly, as he leaned over to pat her hand. “Joshua’ll never miss the money. He’s a generous man. He has plenty to spare. We just wanted to make sure you’d be financially solvent by year’s end.” He looked helplessly at his accomplice. “If he didn’t fall in love with you. And we—”