by Cherry Adair
“Well,” Jessie snapped, “he won’t now, for God’s sake! I don’t need Joshua to bankroll me, Simon. I have a job. I can support myself,” Jessie said through her teeth. “And in the new year I’ll go back to it.” She jumped up and started to pace, the yellow dress swishing around her legs.
Both men looked alarmed as tears ran unchecked down her face. She continued to dash them away with her fingertips. “Damn it, damn it, damn it. He already thinks every woman he meets is a conniving opportunist. Now he thinks Vera wants five million dollars for a divorce! Are you two nuts? How could you d-do this to him?”
“Honey.” Simon glanced from Felix to Jessie, his face creased with worry. “In a month Joshua...” He searched for the right words. Jessie let the tears fall. She was so tired. So tired of being tired. Crying in front of these two men was the least of her problems.
“A lovely women like you should be worshipped, my dear,” Simon said uncomfortably. “Joshua’s a fool to let you out of his sight. But you knew this was going to happen.”
Jessie drew in a deep, shaky breath. She felt raw to the bone. “I don’t want to be worshipped. I wanted to be lo-loved.” Her breath bubbled. She hated this. Hated it. “In four weeks, Joshua and I would have broken up.” Jessie swiped at her cheeks with the hankie Felix handed her. She got makeup all over it. She scrunched it in a damp ball in her fist. “I don’t want his money. I won’t take his money. Let ‘Vera’ give him his divorce. But if you two try to take one more cent from Joshua, I’ll—I’ll do something nasty.”
Simon and Felix rose. “Honey, we just did it so when it was over you’d have something.”
“I’ll have something, Simon. Trust me. Something far more lasting and important than money.”
CHAPTER TEN
IT HAD BEEN a hell of a morning and it was barely ten. Joshua had told Angela to hold all his calls as he tried Jessie’s number for the umpteenth time.
He was frantic.
Where the hell was she? He’d tried calling a dozen times last night. He’d sat in his car in her driveway waiting for her to come home until the sky had lightened over the trees. He’d been too agitated to wait inside. Still no sign of Jessie. He’d talked to Archie, to Conrad, to Simon and, finally, to the hospitals. No one knew where the hell she was.
Unease and worry had turned into dread. She’d sped out of the house so fast last night, she hadn’t answered his questions. And as much as Joshua loathed admitting it, the unfamiliar ball of lead in the pit of his stomach was fear. He was tormented with it.
He pressed a finger to his temple, warning himself to rationalize this. He had known she wanted to tell him something last night. Something important. Something she’d found hard to share. What the hell could it be? The suppositions were becoming more and more alarming. In the last hours he had come up with every worst-case scenario possible. And every way he could think of to correct it, rectify it, and make it better. Unless it was terminal.
If it was terminal he couldn’t do a damn thing. Even he couldn’t fix that.
He closed his eyes. He ignored the ringing phone. He ignored the faint hum of voices in the outer office. His concentration was complete and total. His focus unwavering. He wanted to pray but for a moment, had no idea how. He figured God knew his track record and wouldn’t care. Words tumbled frantically through his mind. He begged, bargained and made promises, his eyes squeezed so tightly shut, they watered.
He reached for the phone again. He’d have Felix send out one of his P.I.’s. He drummed a tattoo on the highly polished surface of his desk as he waited, feeling demented, the ice in his soul making him burn. Christ, for all he knew Jessie could be lying dead somewhere—
Hell, he wouldn’t think like that. Joshua looked up impatiently as his office door opened. “I told you I didn’t want to be disturbed, Angela, unless it’s—” The lead ball in the pit of his stomach dissolved like mist. He slammed down the receiver.
Fear dissipated into something he understood even less. Anger then relief, then something else too fragile to name.
“Where the hell have you been?” he demanded, as Jessie crossed to sit in the visitor’s seat opposite his desk. The brave red of her wool suit leached every vestige of color from her face. Her hair was pulled back with a cream-colored clip that matched her high-heeled shoes and blouse. She crossed her lovely legs with a whisper of nylon and pulled her skirt down.
Her face seemed finer boned and drawn this morning. Dark shadows haunted her eyes. She looked fragile, as though she’d been crying.
Joshua’s throat tightened. “God, I’m sorry.” He cleared his throat. “I’m not angry at you. When I couldn’t find you I... Jesus, Jessie...”
“I’m sorry you were worried.” She sounded as subdued as he felt frantic. His blood pressure rose two more notches. “I...” She licked glossy red lips and swallowed before she looked up at him. “I needed a little more time.”
Worry made his voice harsh. “Where were you last night?”
“I stayed at a hotel in San Jose.”
“Why, for God’s sake?” Joshua resisted scrubbing his face, instead clenching his hands together on the surface of the desk. His palms were damp. “Don’t hold it in, Jessie, whatever it is. Just say it.” He resisted the need to hold her. He had never been more afraid in his life. If he touched her now, he was terrified he’d inadvertently break her in half when she told him the bad news. The bones in his hands protested the excruciating pressure being exerted.
Wide brown eyes looked at him steadily. She drew a breath. “I’m pregnant, Joshua.”
For a split second the relief that Jessie wasn’t going to die was so profound he couldn’t speak. His fingers felt arthritic as he slowly released their death grip.
Then he stared at her. Actually heard what she said.
Pregnant.
He had been thinking the best doctors and specialists in a sanitarium in Switzerland. She had been thinking child support.
Rage consumed him.
For a moment he went deaf and blind with it. “You’re pregnant.” Frigid anger relit the fuse low in his belly. “You’re pregnant?”
He stood, his fists braced on the desk. “Whose is it?”
Jessie flinched imperceptibly. “Yours, of course.”
“Not in this lifetime, lady.” Jessie’s eyes went dark. A thundering pulse pounded his temple. Contempt tightened his voice. “I had a vasectomy years ago.”
She sucked in her breath. “Impossible.”
Joshua delivered the next thrust as the fire in his gut blazed, his voice dangerously even. “Right after the third of my mistresses claimed I was the father of her child. It didn’t work for them, and it sure as hell won’t work for you. I shoot blanks.”
The heat in her cheeks returned full force as she catapulted from the chair to lean over his desk, her eyes blazing. “You son of a— Why didn’t you tell me you’d had a vasectomy? How dare you keep something like that from—”
“How dare I?” he asked lethally and she collapsed back into the chair sputtering with impotent anger. If looks could kill, he’d be in the morgue.
Her sudden flair of fiery temper was no match for his own icy rage. “Nice of you to look me in the eye as you stabbed me in the back, Jessie.” He looked at her with utter contempt. “At least the others controlled their greed until their contract was up. That’s why you wouldn’t commit by signing the contract, you wanted out the second you found some kind of hold on me. You couldn’t wait, could you? You should have done your research before coming up with this far-fetched scenario.”
He picked a hair off the shoulder of his charcoal Armani suit. He stared at the curling filament for a moment before dropping it to the floor. He had worn this suit to the theater with her. He would burn the damn thing the moment he got home.
“That’s no
t true,” Jessie said steadily, a pulse pounding hard at her throat. “I didn’t plan this pregnancy.” She glanced away, biting her lower lip before glaring at him defiantly. “Well, okay, maybe at first I did. But then I cha—”
For a moment his emotions blackened his vision. “You planned this from the beginning, did you?”
“Yes. No,” she floundered, cheeks scarlet, eyes glittering.
“Well, which was it? Yes or no?”
“I changed my mind.” Her voice was unnaturally calm. “I knew I couldn’t do it without discussing it with you first—”
“Right.” He was old enough to know better. “A ‘happy’ accident?” She flinched. “You were right,” he said cruelly, flatly, his eyes unwavering on her face. “You are just like your mother.” Emotions started ripping through his control. “Wasn’t she a money-grabbing whore, too, Jessie?”
“Oh, God. Don’t do this, Joshua.” Her voice quavered and he saw her swallow dryly before she managed to say raggedly, “Please.” Her eyes went dark, as if a careless hand had snuffed out that vibrant bright inner light of hers. His careless hand.
But he wasn’t done yet. Not by a long shot.
“Oh, I beg your pardon. You refused to take my money, didn’t you?” His voice sharpened, turned to jagged ice as he demanded venomously, “What do you think those earrings you’re wearing are worth, Jessie?”
She put an unsteady hand to a diamond-and-ruby hoop. “I don’t kn—”
“Try in the neighborhood of fifty thousand.”
Her eyes widened and her hand dropped as though burned. “You told me it was costume jewelry.”
“The ‘bigger the better,’ isn’t that what you told me?”
“Yes, but I mea—”
“Can’t tell a diamond from a piece of glass, Jessie?” he asked mockingly. “You’ll have to take a quick gemology class before you get your claws into your next victim.”
She took off the earrings and laid them carefully on his desk, her eyes blank and dark.
The chair creaked under his weight as he sat down. “Oh, that trembling lip is almost effective. But you forget. I’ve screwed the best actresses money can buy. Your performance in bed almost makes this fiasco tolerable.” He gave her a cold humorless smile. “Almost.”
“Giving me your virginity was worth the jewelry. I consider it a fair trade. What you lacked in experience in bed you made up for in enthusiasm.” A chill vibrated through him. “That act would have earned you a small bonus.” He paused. “If you hadn’t let some other man benefit from what I taught you,” he finished savagely as she sucked in air and seemed to brace herself for another blow.
An uncomfortably tight band restricted his breathing and perspiration stuck his shirt to his back. “All the protestation about the gifts I gave you was a blind for the big payoff, right, Jessie?”
“No.” Her damn lying eyes stayed steadily on his face. “I told you, I only wanted you.”
“Well, you had me.” His anger almost obscured his vision. “Is there anything else?” he demanded when she sat before him motionless.
“Yes, actually, there is.” She touched her purse. “But now is obviously n-not the time to—to—” She waved away her words with a shaking hand. She rose, all elegant grace and proud fluid lines. “I haven’t slept with anyone but you, Joshua. When you calm down you’ll realize that.”
“I’m perfectly calm.” His back teeth ground together. “I’ll give you thirty seconds to explain how you think this could possibly have happened.”
She moved to the back of the chair, putting it between herself and his anger. “I don’t think this is the right time to discuss this.”
“It’s the perfect time,” he pushed. “What should we put it down to? Immaculate conception?”
“We made love morning, noon and night. You’d better sue your doctor. Your vasectomy didn’t work.”
“You said you were on the pill.”
“No, I said I’d take care of birth control....” She looked at him and paused before saying, “You’re right, yes. I admit getting pregnant was initially my objective. My only objective. Not because I wanted to trap you, but because—because I wanted a baby. Then I fell in love with you and I did use birth control, except that a lot of times I didn’t have time and I—oh, damn it.” Large brown eyes filled as she admitted lying through her beautifully straight white teeth.
He watched the performance unmoved. A band of pink painted her cheekbones. “I eventually did use birth control, but I didn’t realize I was already pregnant.” Jessie rubbed her forehead. “I hadn’t conceived in all those months...I don’t know...perhaps this baby is meant to be born.”
Joshua laughed.
She sagged, catching herself with a hand to the back of a chair as her knees seemed to give way. He watched her struggle with her tears. Pride tilted her chin. She had appeared so innocent, so absolutely unconcerned and unimpressed by his wealth. He looked at her, really looked at her and his chest hurt with the purity of her face, the absolute resignation in those liquid brown eyes.
A pulse throbbed at the base of her throat. Joshua had to drag his gaze away from her smooth skin. He knew from personal experience that looks could be deceiving. She was out to get him, just as the others had been. Oh, she wanted money, and lots of it apparently, but she’d come closer to getting far more than that.
Goddamn her soul. She had almost had his heart.
He closed his eyes against the sweet curves of her body, against ever feeling the electricity of her hair against his skin, of ever hearing her small breathy moans of passion. He looked at her for the last time and his voice was as cold as his soul. “I’ll call Felix. He’ll arrange the usual settlement. You can contact him this afternoon.”
Her jaw jerked up. “Can’t we talk about this rationally?” Her voice was rough and raw. She looked as though she were trying to push the tears back into her eyes as she pressed her fingers to her cheekbones. She never had a damn tissue when she needed one. The tears came faster. “I love you.”
“You love my lifestyle.”
She squeezed her eyes shut, blocking him out. Tears leaked between spiky lashes. He hardened his heart as a sob escaped her. “Oh, no,” he growled. “Don’t go all pale and piteous on me now. I like you much better when you’re spitting like a little cat.” His gut burned with the betrayal he felt. This was as close as he’d ever been to striking a woman. He didn’t want her looking white-faced and soft. He wanted her to come out of her corner fighting. She had already delivered the fatal body blow, but he wanted to finish it, put her on the mat and start counting.
It wasn’t like Jessie to just stand there. Why the hell wasn’t she defending herself more vigorously?
Because she had planned this all along. Everything had been a lie. Every goddamned word. Every action had been to set him up for this. The big payoff. Her agenda hadn’t changed one iota from the first moment they’d met.
He cursed her for having wounded brown eyes and skin so soft and sweet the taste of her stayed on his tongue. He cursed her for trying to pull off a paternity suit. He would have given Jessie his last cent and rushed out to earn more if she’d asked. He cursed her for bringing him so low that he had to grind his teeth and lock his knees to prevent himself from falling to the floor and begging her to stay anyway.
Pain and humiliation swamped him in a tidal wave, so deep, so dark, he thought he might never recover.
“Tell Felix not to bother. I didn’t sleep with you for your bank balance or the size of your wallet. All I ever wanted was...”
He raised an inquiring brow, daring her.
“I love our baby,” she said and looked right at him. “I don’t need or want your damn money.” She swallowed with difficulty before saying with awful calm, “I didn’t mean to fall in love with you. It snuck up on me and cau
ght me by surprise. I hoped you would eventually fall in love with me. I thought...hoped...” She choked back another sob. “I wanted nothing from you—”
Fury ripped through him. “Except that million-dollar baby,” he mocked, not caring as her face crumpled, and she started to shake. He didn’t give a damn. “Take a damn DNA test. If it’s mine, I’ll claim it. But I don’t think that’ll be an issue.”
“No.”
“No?”
“I won’t take a test. I know who the father is.” Jessie dashed a hand across her wet cheek. “And no, you damn well will not take my baby. I paid for her in blood. She’s mine.”
He didn’t realize he’d rounded his desk until he found his hands clamped on Jessie’s slender shoulders. He could see his temper had stunned her. Well, hell, he wasn’t done yet. As she stoically stared up at him, a comb fell from her hair. Strands were stuck to the tears on her cheeks.
“Tonight was supposed to be our engagement party. I was going to marry you. I was going to care for you and cherish you for the rest of our miserable lives.” He laughed harshly, letting her go. She staggered, caught herself and rubbed her upper arms, shivering violently.
“A little more patience and you could have had it all, Jessie.”
“Joshua, please...”
He strode to the closed door ready to snap it open and push her through if she stayed a moment longer. He heard her draw in a long shaky breath behind his back. Damn her. Damn her to hell.
He punched a hole in the wall with his fist. The sound loud and violent in the unnatural quiet of his office. A mirror fell, shattering into a million broken shards on the thick carpet.
“Well, hell,” he said sarcastically. “Another seven years’ bad luck.” A cruel fist tightened around his heart. His hand throbbed and pain radiated up his arm. He jerked open the door. “Get the hell out. I never want to see your face again.”