Honor 06 - Honor Under Siege

by Radclyffe

  “ I never asked you how you felt about me accepting this assignment. Im sorry.

  Renée inched away and leaned on her elbow, trailing the fi ngers of her other hand absently up and down Paulas stomach. “Sweetie, you got a promotion that you deserved. Im really proud of you. Dont you know that? Because if I didnt let you know that

  “ No, Paula said quickly. “I mean, I never gave you a chance to say you didnt want me to do it.

  Renées eyes darkened. “Is that how I make you feel? That I dont want you to be Blairs security chief?

  “ No, Paula said, frustrated. “But it means Ill be traveling more, and working more, and probablyI dont know, distracted. And that affects us. She cupped Renées jaw and traced her thumb over Renées cheek. “I dont want anything to come between us.

  “ Youre a secret service agent, Paula, Renée said matter-of-factly. “Just like Im an FBI agent. At least, I was.

  “ Hey. You still are.

  “ Yeah, maybe. First my shoulder, now my leg. If I dont rehab a hundred percent theyre going to pull me out of the fi eld. Renée looked away. “Were not talking about me. Were talking about you. She glanced back to Paula, her eyes intent. “I understand what your job requires. Im okay with it. Im proud of you. Im justthings are tough right now, but its not you. She leaned down and kissed Paula hard. “Sweetie, its not you.

  Paula drew Renée into her arms again and returned her kiss. “I hate for you to be unhappy.

  “ I just need to fi gure out what Im going to do if they transfer me to a desk job somewhere. Renée closed her eyes. “I dont think I can take that.

  Paula tightened her hold, frightened more by the despondency in Renées voice than the thought that her lover might be transferred across the country. “Itll be okay. Your leg will be fi ne and youll be back to duty before you know it.

  “ Im not going to accept a post somewhere if it means Im never going to be able to see you. Renée caressed Paulas chest, then circled lower, unconsciously tracing the line of muscles down to the base of her belly. “Not after everything thats happened.

  Paula tried to focus on being supportive, but Renées persistent caresses were starting to sap her concentration. Casually, she covered Renées questing hand and drew it away from the trigger zone that was dangerously close to igniting. “I know. I feel the same.

  “ We havent made love since I got shot, Renée observed softly, extracting her hand from Paulas grip. She cupped Paula very lightly between the legs. “Miss it?

  “ Oh, geez, Paula choked, her legs starting to quiver. “Yeah.

  Renée squeezed gently. “Have you been taking many solo fl ights?

  “ Not many. Paula fl ushed as she felt a fl ood of wetness between her thighs. “Oh.

  “ Mmm. You did miss me, didnt you? Renée gripped a little harder and jiggled her hand.

  “ Stop. Paula slammed her hand down over Renées, effectively preventing her from moving her fi ngers. “Honest. Dont. Ill get really excited, and we cant until your legs better.

  Renée laughed. “My leg might keep me from working, sweetie, but it doesnt keep me from taking care of the important business. She lowered her head and licked Paulas nipple into rapid attention. When Paula shivered and moaned softly, she worried the small, hard knot tenderly with her teeth. “So I think you should hold very still. She sucked until Paula moaned again. “While I make you come.

  “ Renée, Paula said hoarsely. “We should wait.

  Renée shifted and guided Paulas face to her breast. “No. Waiting is the last thing we should do. She hissed in a breath as Paulas mouth closed over her nipple. Delicately, she traced the hard prominence of Paulas clitoris with her fi ngertip. When Paula jerked and started to pull back, she gripped her between thumb and forefi nger and squeezed. “Were here together right now, Paula. Feel me now, sweetie. Feel me.

  Unable to resist the persistent caresses, Paula closed her eyes as Renée fondled her in just the right spot with just the right pressure to make her come. Spinning toward orgasm, she whispered the one thing of which she was totally certain in a suddenly uncertain world. “I love you.

  Chapter Six

  D iane was quiet tonight, Cam said as she sat on the side of the bed and pulled off her shoes. She unbuckled her belt, lifted her hips, and shed her trousers. Across the room, Blair undressed, tossing her blue jeans and T-shirt into the laundry basket in the bedroom closet. The circles that had surfaced beneath her eyes earlier in the day had deepened, giving her a haunted look.

  “ Things are still pretty awful in Manhattan, Blair said. “She closed the gallery for a while.

  “ Its going to take some time before people and businesses recover. Cam gave a mirthless laugh as she removed her shirt. “I guess recover is an optimistic word.

  “ Adjust to a new reality is more like it. Naked, Blair brushed her fi ngertips over Cams chest as she slid past her and into bed. “I guess were just catching up to the rest of the world.

  Cam removed the rest of her clothes, turned off the light, and got into bed. She turned on her side and circled Blair with one arm, easing close to her in the dark. “You should go back to Whitley Point for a while. Take Diane.

  “ Turn the light on.

  Wordlessly, Cam complied.

  “ Go back to Whitley Point and stay out of the way? Blair asked edgily.

  “ I dont believe I said that. Cam traced a fi ngertip along the rigid arc of Blairs jaw. “I was thinking that twenty-four hours ago you almost looked relaxed. She smoothed her thumb over the crest of Blairs cheekbone. “Now youre looking a little weary.

  Blair snatched Cams hand away from her face and bit her thumb hard enough to make Cam wince. “Dont try to distract me with your slick moves.

  “ Ow.

  “ Let me guess what youre going to be doing while Im painting pretty pictures on a remote island. And Diane is doingcross-stitch.

  Cam smothered a grin. Blair had been pale moments before. Now she was fl ushed and her eyes were bright. Anger looked good on her, but then, it always had.

  “ Youll be playing super sleuth in Washington or New York or God knows where, chasing down maniacs who would be happy to kill you, and themselves, and anyone in the vicinity. Blair pushed at Cams shoulder. “I already know youre going to take my fathers offer. Just what else do you have planned?

  “ Im not sure. Ive been out of the intel loop since the raid. Ive got to assemble a team and do some catching up. Cam risked diving in for a quick kiss. “And its possible Ill need to travel.

  Blair sat up and wrapped her arms around her knees. “Where? And dont you dare say anywhere in the Middle East. She focused on Cam, her face set. “I mean it. If someone has to go there, fi ne. Thats why we have the CIA and all the other spies. She fi sted her hands so tightly Cam thought her fi ngers must be getting numb. “Ive never asked you not to do something, Cameron. But Im asking this.

  “ Thats not where I meant, Cam said, prying Blairs clenched hands open and clasping her fi ngers. “I was thinking Paris.

  “ Paris? Blair echoed. “Why?

  “ Because Foster made more than a few trips there in the ten months before the assault on you. Maybe theres a connection. Cam shrugged, frustrated. “I dont know. Thats the problemnone of us know, because none of us expected anything like what happened.

  “ Do you think Valeries in Paris?

  “ Valerie? Cam circled Blairs shoulders and tugged her down onto the bed. She stroked Blairs hair even though she could feel Blair resist her caress. This wasnt anger. This was fear. Fear and something else she couldnt quite get a sense of. “I suppose its possible. She knows as much as I know about what happened in the attack at the Aerie and who might be behind it. Thats part of the problem. Shes knows as much as I do, or more, and shes one step ahead of us.

  “ Youre taking this assignment with OHS to fi nd Valerie, arent you? Blair asked.

  “ No, Cam said. “Im taking this assignment because Stark doesnt need me, and neither do you, not professionally.
And theres no way Im going back to providing security for presidential hopefuls or visiting diplomats, and Im sure as hell not going to chase bad money, even if it is funding drug cartels. There are bigger threats than drugs to worry about now.

  “ And of course, you want to go after the biggest and baddest. Blair rolled on top of Cam and braced herself on her elbows. She very gently touched Cams face. “Im surprised youre not in the military. Youre such a patriot.

  Cam smiled and kissed the tips of Blairs fi ngers. “I thought about it when I was younger, but I dont take orders all that well. At Blairs snort of derision, she shook her head. “No, I dont. Not really. I understand the chain of command and I respect it. But I need the freedom to call my own shots in my day-to-day work.

  “ You avoided my question about Valerie. You do want to fi nd her, dont you? Blair was aware of treading carefully. She did want to know what Cam planned to do. As much as Cam could tell her. Cam was her lover, and she needed to know what mattered to her, what drove herwhat danger she would put herself in and why. But she didnt want anything that Cam might tell her to be an unwitting betrayal of their trust.

  “ I want to fi nd her, Cam agreed, “and I need to fi nd her. Shes either in danger or a potential danger to others. Either way, shes not safe out there alone.

  “ Im not going to use Diane to help you. Blair didnt know why she was surprised that the words came so easily. There had never been any doubt about what she would do. Or wouldnt do.

  Blair started to sit up, but Cam held her close. “I never thought that you would. You know I wouldnt ask you to, right?

  Silently, Blair nodded.

  “ But just hear me out, okay?

  “ You might not ask me to, but you might want me to. Blair rested her head on Cams chest. “I dont want todisappoint you.

  “ Disappoint Cam tilted Blairs chin and met her eyes. They were cloudy and troubled. She hated that her lover had been caught in the tangled web of divided loyalties. “Baby, its my job. Not yours. Lucinda was wrong to ask you to get involved.

  “ What about national security?

  “ Well have no national securityor any other kindif we resort to spying on our friends. Cam shook her head. “I trust youll tell me if Diane gets into any trouble.

  “ I will.

  “ And you have to stay out of it. Cam held Blairs jaw more fi rmly, delving into the blue eyes that glimmered with anticipated resistance. “Okay?

  “ Okay. Blair hesitated. “Can you tell me why you think Valerie might be in danger? Diane really loves her, Cam.

  “ Ah, Jesus, Cam breathed. “What a mess.

  “ Love tends to get that way, Blair murmured, kissing Cams throat. “You mess me up.

  Stroking the back of Blairs neck, Cam sorted her thoughts. “Until a few hours before the raid, the only people who knew Mathesons identity were Valerie, Stark, Savard, and Davis. If Matheson disappeared from the compoundor never showed up there to begin with because someone tipped him offthere are only a limited number of explanations. I know it wasnt any of my people and not likely to be anyone on the assault team. So, either Valerie warned him or someone Valerie told warned him.

  “ Valerie must report to someone inside the Company, Cam, Blair said.

  “ Of course. Whoever ordered her to infi ltrate our team to begin with.

  Blair closed her eyes. “Then that means theyll know that youre looking for her. Jesus, this is a nightmare. And youre going to be right in the middle of it.

  “ If Valerie wasnt responsible for the leak, once she got wind of Matheson disappearing, shed know she was the weak link. Shed have to disappear because shed know whoever tipped Matheson would be coming after her.

  “ So youre telling me that Valerie isnt safe, and I should help you fi nd her.

  “ Thats one way of looking at it, Cam said. “Right now, Im not sure. And because Im not sure, I dont want you to do anything.

  “ Except hide out with Tanner and Diane at Whitley Point.

  “ That would be my wish. Cam kissed the tip of Blairs chin. “Any chance?

  “ I dont know, maybe, Blair said. “Not because I want to hide, but because I dont want to stay here. And I cant go back to Manhattan, because I dont have any place to go back to.

  “ This is sounding good, Cam said.

  “ But

  “ Uh-oh.

  Blair smiled. “Im not going without you.

  Cam frowned. “Im going to be pretty busy, Blair. Ive got to put a team together, for one thing. Then who knows what Ill fi nd once I start digging into this whole Valerie situation.

  “ Are you telling me youre going to direct the investigation from some offi ce in DC somewhere? Where anyone could access your fi les or monitor your activities? Blair made a face. “Even I know thats not very smart. If you even suspect that theres someone high enough up to get Mathesons name from Valeries intelligence reports and warn him, then nothing is secure. She grinned. “Unless youre going to work out of Lucindas offi ce.

  Cam groaned. “You make it sound so appealing. But were talking about a big operation here, baby.

  “ You found Matheson working from Whitley Point. That was a big operation, too.

  “ Yeah, and someone ferried Valerie off right under our noses.

  “ Good point, except Valerie helped them from the inside. Blair saw the anger and betrayal fl icker across Cams face, knowing nothing she might say could lessen it. Only the truth could do that. “Youve got to admit, its going to be more secure there than almost any place around here.

  “ Ill think about it. At least for a base of operations. Hell, Cam mused, “we used to do all of our advance surveillance and intelligence right out of the Aerie. That was a damn big operation, too.

  “ Ill talk to Tanner tomorrow about speeding up the property purchase. Im sure she can make it happen. Besides, Blair said softly, “I love it there, and we need a place to live.

  Cam brushed her fi ngers through Blairs hair, then drew her head down and kissed her. She murmured against her lips, “We do, dont we.

  “Is it all right with you?

  “Are you going to be okay having a base of operations where we live?

  Blair laughed shortly. “Cameron, Ive always had some kind of base where I live. Look at the Aerie. Im used to it.

  “If youre sure. Right now, Id feel a hell of a lot better if you were back there.

  “Im going to talk to Lucinda tomorrow about our plans, Blair said.

  Cam rolled her over and settled one thigh between her legs. “Youre not going to make me go with you, are you?

  “I cant believe youre afraid of Lucinda. Blair curled her leg around the back of Cams thigh and nestled her center against Cams crotch. “Itll cost you.

  “Anything. Cam slowly rotated her hips between Blairs legs. “Just name it.

  “Lets see how many times you can make me come, Blair whispered, “while I think about it.

  Cam laughed. “Tough duty.

  * * * * *

  “Hello? Diane said distractedly, expecting a wrong number.

  “Hi. Did I wake you?

  Diane sat up abruptly, the sheet falling away unheeded. The sliver of moon and the glow from the surrounding city cast the room in dim, gray light. She hadnt been sleeping, even though it was the middle of the night. “No. I was thinking about you.

  An indrawn breath and a beat of silence followed. Diane almost said her name, but knew instinctively not to. She waited, the seconds interminable.

  “Are you home?

  “Actually Im Diane thought of all the conversations shed had over the years with Blair and how theyd always been careful, even when there was probably no need to be. Now, with Valerie, there surely was. “Im visiting friends.

  “Ah. Anyone I know?

  “Yes. Dianes heart pounded and she strained to hear every nuance in Valeries voice. “Hows your trip going?

  “I shouldnt have called, but I missed you.

  Diane caught her breath. “Can I join you? Im in a
bit of a hiatus myself right now.

  “Thats not a good idea.

  “Why not? I miss you, too. Terribly.

  “Im not very good company right now.

  Diane heard the warning beneath the words but refused to be deterred. “Shouldnt I be the one to decide that?

  “Trust me, it might not be all thatpleasant.

  “To be with you? Diane said lightly while mentally translating, Its not safe .

  “ Yes.

  “ Then thats all the more reason to let me come and prove you wrong. Diane raised her knees and pressed her forehead to them. She closed her eyes, trying to shut out every other sensation except the sound of Valeries voice.

  A sigh came through the line. “And thats why Ive stayed away.

  “ Im sure our friends could help cheer you up.

  “ Im not so sure of that.

  Diane hesitated. Blair was the one person in her life whom she trusted completely. But there was no reason that Valerie should. But what about Cam? Didnt Valerie trust her? Cam would help Valerie, if she were in trouble. Wouldnt she?

  Would she? Cams allegiance was never in doubt. Blair fi rst. Country second. And friendship? Diane had no doubt that Cam would risk her life for Stark or Savard or any of the others. Didnt Valerie, Cams ex-lover and colleague, fall into the same category?

  But then, she didnt really understand anything that had happened. She didnt understand why Valerie had left, why shed stayed away, and why she was obviously afraid to talk to her now. She wouldnt understand until Valerie explained it, and she desperately needed to know. “I want to see you.

  “ Diane

  “ No one will know. Please.

  Another endless pause, not even the sound of breathing on the line.

  Diane forced herself not to say anything more than she already had. She had never begged a woman for anything in her life, not even

  Blair when they had been younger and shed been desperately in love with her. Blair had never known the depth of her feelings, perhaps because she had already learned to shield her emotions behind casual nonchalance. It hadnt taken many disappointments before she had also learned not to make herself vulnerable by asking for things she couldnt have. Valerie had effortlessly changed all that. And now, if she didnt sense that begging would somehow endanger Valerie, she would gladly beg. Anything to break this unwilling isolation.