by S. M. Shade
“You touched her, kissed her, was inside her.”
God, I knew that feeling. Just the thought of someone else touching her naked body makes me want to puke.
“No, baby.” I wrap my arm around her, relieved when she doesn’t resist. “I didn’t kiss her or touch her the way you’re picturing. I didn’t want her. It was just a quick meaningless fuck. I had trouble even staying hard until…” Shit. Maybe I shouldn’t tell her that.
“Until what?” she demands, wiping her face.
“Until I closed my eyes and pictured you. It was so awful. Two guys were watching us, one with a gun in his hand, and even though she told me it was okay, I knew she didn’t want it just as much as I didn’t. All I feel is guilt. Guilt for going through with it, even though I know there was nothing else I could do. Guilt for fucking a woman who didn’t want me.”
Pulling her closer to me, I press my lips to her hair. “But it’s nothing compared to the guilt I feel for hurting you. I just couldn’t have that secret between us. I swear I didn’t want her. I’m not a cheater, Sade. If you can forgive me, I’ll never hurt you again, I swear.”
Seconds turn to minutes as we sit in silence, both deep in thought. Could I have done this differently? How can I regret what I’ve done when it brought Hannah back to me? Does that make me just another selfish asshole?
Finally, she heaves a deep sigh. “I can’t blame you. I believe that you did it to save the agent, yourself, and your sister, but…it hurts. It really fucking hurts.”
“I know, sweetheart. I’m so sorry.”
Her glassy eyes gaze into mine. “Do you really love me?”
Her skin is so soft as I brush my palm over her damp cheek. “More than I ever thought it was possible to love anyone. I’m terrified of losing you, but if this is all too much to forgive, I understand.”
“You don’t need my forgiveness for rescuing your sister. She’s lucky to have you.”
“I need you to forgive me for hurting you. I want you to trust me.”
“I do. I forgive you and trust you. I swear, it seems like something is trying to keep us apart and cause trouble. My mom, your sister, no one is to blame, but we’ve struggled with constant drama. I just want to put it all behind us, okay? We’ll do our best to help our families, but I need you to tell me when something is going on. No more disappearing.”
Relief like I’ve never felt before rushes through me. “I promise. Whatever happens, I’ll be honest. We’ll talk about it.”
After a few minutes of silence, I ask, “Are we okay now, Sadie?”
“Yeah, I think we are,” she replies, and brings her lips to mine.
Our kiss is slow and soft, healing something inside both of us. “Sade…”
“Hmm?” she says, absently, playing with my hair.
“What’s this I hear about you talking to some fucking doctor?”
She giggles at my sudden flare of jealousy. “What doctor?”
“The doctor Ayda told me you were considering a date with.”
Sadie burst into laughter. I like it a fuck of a lot better than seeing her cry, even if it’s at my expense. “Ayda,” she says, trying to quell her hysterics. “God, I love her.”
“What the hell?”
“I don’t know what kind of shit she’s been telling you, but I’m not seeing or talking to anyone. A doctor,” she chuckles. “Nice touch, Ayda.”
Wait until I get my hands on that little liar. Gazing down at Sadie, who is still giggling, I grip the back of her neck. “You think that’s funny, huh?”
“Are you kidding? I’ve had to keep my jealousy in check while women grope your half naked body, then the thing with the agent, and now you’re jealous? It’s epic.”
“You’re mine, Sadie.” My hand tightens around her nape and my next words are spoken against her soft lips. “All mine, understand? I don’t want anyone else.”
She kisses me, and it feels as possessive as passionate. “All I want is you, and I’ll trample any bitch in my way.”
A few raindrops start to fall, and I pull her to her feet, wrapping her hand in mine like she may float away if I’m not careful.
“Is there anything else, Justus? Anything else I need to know?” she asks as we walk back across the park.
Sighing, I nod. “Yes. I…I like girly drinks.”
“What?” she giggles.
“It’s true.” I turn and pretend to hide my face. “I hate hard liquor. Give me a Cosmo or a Strawberry Daiquiri any day. Don’t look at me!”
“I have a confession, too,” she says, grinning up at me. “I lied. You are the best sex I’ve ever had.”
“Yes!” I jump and give a fist pump before pulling her closer to me. “I knew it! I am the almighty lord of fucking!”
A snort of laughter behind us makes her whip around, and two middle aged ladies walk past. “Congrats on that, hun,” one of them tells Sadie.
Sadie’s face turns red, giggles still spilling out of her mouth. “On that note, I think it’s time to go.”
* * * *
The cardiac rehabilitation center Sadie’s mom has been admitted to is one of the best in the country. Instead of a cold, sterile hospital room, she’s moved into her own little private suite, complete with a small sitting area, bedroom, and bathroom. In addition to her therapy and treatment, there are plenty of activities and chances to socialize with other patients.
“It’s a really nice place,” Sadie says for the third time as we drive away after settling her mom in. “She’ll be fine there.” She’s trying to convince herself she’s doing the right thing by going back to Indianapolis. Amber insisted Sadie get back to her life and go back to work, now that she’s out of danger.
Her hand is cold when I cover it with mine. “She’s going to be fine. You know if there are any complications, Doug will call you.”
“I know. I just hate to leave her, but I do need to get back to work.” Her face lights up. “When I talked to my boss this morning, he told me Carlos, one of my favorite patients, is walking on his own with no issues, running even! I swear, if some of my adult patients worked as hard as him, my job would be a lot easier.”
Her passion for her work shines in her voice. “How old is he?”
“Seven. He lost a leg to cancer last year, and I was helping him gain mobility with his prosthetic.”
“You’re amazing, you know that?”
“Yep,” she replies, making me laugh. “I called the car rental office and let them know we’d be returning it in Indy. I wouldn’t want to traumatize you with another flight, or myself after what Ayda told me,” she teases.
“I wasn’t that bad…but, yeah, let’s drive. Driving is good.”
Her gaze falls to her hand, and she slides off the engagement ring. “You should have this back, Jus. I don’t want to pretend anything anymore.”
I liked the idea of my ring on her finger, but I realize it’s too early for that. I don’t want to freak her out or scare her away, so I take it and put it in my pocket. “No more pretend, Sweets. Next time I give you a ring, it’ll be for real.”
It doesn’t take us long to pack up and get on the road. Despite everything going on in our lives right now, we’re both in high spirits, fighting over the radio and singing along to the songs we know. Sadie bursts into giggles when “Wrecking Ball” by Miley Cyrus begins to play.
I can’t keep the grin from my face. “You loved it. Admit it. My act was awesome.”
“It really was. Way better than the unicorn.”
After a few seconds, I ask her something that’s been on my mind. “Does it bother you? Me dancing? The women?”
“You know,” she says, turning in her seat to face me. “I thought it might, but it doesn’t. I don’t get jealous easily, and all they get to do is look at you, maybe cop a quick feel. I get all of you. Wait.” She sits up straighter. “These lap dances don’t go any further, right? No extras?”
Laughing, I answer her honestly. “There are guys who d
o that, but not me. I’ve never been paid for sex or paid for it myself.”
“Good. Hmm…guess I can’t say the same.”
What the fuck?
“For which one?” I demand.
“I paid you to be my boyfriend. Which ended up with us in bed.”
Laughing, I shake my head. “If you ever checked the outer pocket of your purse, you’d have seen I returned your money as soon as we got home.”
“What?” She reaches in the back seat and digs in her purse. “Why did you do that?”
“Because I don’t need any incentive to spend time with you.”
“Justus?” She tilts her head, blinking at me.
“Hmm?”
“How do you feel about highway head?”
Fuck me. I’m going to marry this woman.
“I’m certainly not opposed.”
Unfastening her seatbelt, she slides over and unbuttons my jeans, pulling down the zipper. My cock is already hard at the thought of her plump lips wrapped around me. Her cool fingers trail down the line of hair on my lower stomach, teasing me in the best way before she pulls out my cock and runs her lips down the shaft.
My whole body jerks, and she grins up at me. “Keep us between the lines or I’ll have to stop.” Without waiting for me to reply, she engulfs the head, rubbing her tongue on that sweet spot that makes me groan and shift in my seat.
Fuck, that’s good.
Wet warmth engulfs me, and it’s everything I can do to concentrate on the road. Keeping one hand on the wheel, my other crawls into her hair, stroking her scalp as she proceeds to give me the best blow job of my life.
Glancing up, I see our exit approaching, but there’s no way I’m cutting this short. Screw it, I-465 circles the city and I’ll drive it all damn night if she’ll keep this up. Little moans of pleasure vibrate against my skin, pushing me to the edge way faster than I want. I don’t want this to ever end. I could die happy right now and spend eternity in this car with her mouth around me.
“Fuck, Sade, that’s so good,” I groan, fighting to keep my eyes open and on the road. Thankfully, it’s late and there’s no traffic.
I can’t fight it anymore. So much pressure, push and pull. “Sweets, I’m going to come.”
Her soft hum does me in, and I force my gaze to remain on the road as I come into her willing mouth. Sweat runs down my temples and she laughs, wiping it away when she notices.
My cock twitches when she tucks it back into my underwear and fastens my jeans. It’s then she realizes where we are. “Justus! We’re twenty minutes past your house.”
“Oops, did I miss my exit?”
She smacks me and shakes her head, a smile on her lips. “You were just going to circle the highway?”
“All damn night, babe. That was amazing.”
Sitting back in her seat, she looks pleased with herself.
“Fair warning, when we get home, I’m going to fuck you ragged.”
“Why wait until we get home?” Her sly look lets me know she isn’t kidding, and her laughter fills the car as I take the next exit. We’re downtown where there is no shortage of twenty four hour businesses and clubs, so I try the first place that comes to mind; a parking garage.
It’s late enough that no one is parked on the top level and I pull into a spot in a dark corner. Who knew she had a little exhibitionist in her as well?
Chapter Thirteen
Sadie
Justus parks in a corner of the garage, and I instantly slam my mouth to his. I’ve never been so worked up in my life.
His breath catches when I shove my tongue in his mouth, and he groans, fisting my hair in his hand as he kisses me hard. My shirt is ripped off and thrown onto the dash. “Back seat,” he growls, smacking my ass when I climb between the seats.
After taking a second to slide the driver seat up, and fold the passenger seat forward, he joins me in the back. His hands ghost over my thighs before ripping my panties off and tossing them aside. Glad I wore a skirt. Eyes the color of a forest at midnight burn into mine. “Bend over,” he orders, gesturing to the folded passenger seat.
As much as the order turns me on, I’m not letting him take charge. This time it’s my turn. Ignoring his demand, I unfasten his jeans and yank them to his knees along with his underwear, then push him until he’s sitting. “Take your shirt off.”
He obeys, smirking as I straddle him, but it fades quickly once I lower myself onto his cock. “Fuck, Sweets,” he hisses through clenched teeth.
“Shit. A condom,” I gasp, reveling in the feel of his skin against mine. “In my purse.”
“Are you on birth control?”
“Yes, I have an implant.”
“I’m clean, Sade. I promise.”
I’m being stupid and I know it, but it just feels too damn good to stop now. “Same here.”
His lips roam my face, my neck, my collarbone, leaving tiny licking kisses in their wake. “I want you bare. I want you in every way I can have you, in every place we can think of.”
Planting my hands on the back of the seat, I lift and lower myself slowly, drawing a moan of pleasure from both of us. His head falls back, eyes shut as I continue a slow, even pace that drives us both crazy. It’s so good, but not nearly enough.
When he grabs my hips and tries to roll me off of him, I hold the seat and grip his thighs with my knees. “Nope. You’re going to sit there and let me fuck you,” I tell him.
I’m met with a blazing stare, but I choose that moment to let him have it. Spreading my legs further, I press my knees down and out, forcing him deeper inside me, and work my hips like I’ll never have another chance.
His thrusts upward meet mine and the world around me fades as we fuck like our lives depend on it. I’m beyond being concerned about who’s in control. Beyond everything but the primal need to fuck and come. To surrender to the urge I always feel when I’m near him. His hands dig into my ass as I fist his hair, pulling it hard, my nails biting into his flexing bicep. Words spill from my mouth, but I couldn’t even tell you what I was saying. I think “I love your cock” may have been uttered at some point.
The windows fog with our breath and the mingled smell of sex and sweat permeate the car. The only thought in my head is that I could do this forever, stay in this spot forever, fuck this man until I die of old age.
Without warning, I’m struck with a violent orgasm that streaks through me like a wildfire, forcing his name from my lips. His arms wrap around me, holding me tight as I tremble and shiver, the spasms dragging on and on.
He pulls me off of him and lays me on my back on the folded down front seat, palming his cock. “Your tits,” he growls, and climbs onto me, scooting up until he can press my breasts together and slide his slick cock between them. It doesn’t take but a few strokes before he comes on my chest.
I can’t take my eyes off of him as he loses control; head tilted back, eyes squeezed shut, the tendons in his neck pulled tight as if he’s in pain. His hair is pasted to his temples and sweat runs down his chest. The expression on his face squeezes my heart. I’m the only one who gets to see him like this, the only one who gets to bring him to this state of vulnerability. He’s so damn beautiful, and he’s mine.
Regaining control, he sits back on my hips, gazing down at me. I’m covered in sweat with his semen dripping down my chest, but you’d think he was staring at some amazing beauty. “You are too damn good to be true,” he says, his voice hoarse.
“I was just thinking the same thing.”
He scoops up his discarded shirt and uses it to wipe off my chest, a small mischievous grin blooming.
“You’re pretty satisfied with yourself aren’t you?” I giggle, sitting up.
“I’ve wanted to fuck those gorgeous tits since the second we met.” His hands caress and squeeze my breasts. “Plump and round with sweet little nipples. Perfect.”
I throw my arms around his neck and he pulls me closer, holding me against his chest. “I love you,” he murmur
s, running his nose through my hair.
“I love you, too.”
“And don’t forget my cock. You said you loved it too.”
Damn it. “I don’t recall that.”
“It was closer to a scream actually. Like ‘Don’t stop, please, I love your cock’.”
“Now you’re just making shit up.” Nope. That is what I said word for word.
“I’m putting it on a T-shirt.”
* * * *
After being gone for so long, it feels good to get back to work and see the progress my patients have made. It takes a few days, but Justus and I settle into a routine. He works with the guys at ISH during the day while I’m at work, and strips three nights a week, so we mainly see each other on his off nights. He’s been eagerly counting down the days until he can talk to his sister. The rehab center allows phone calls after two weeks, and then family counseling will begin as well.
Today was his first chance to talk to her and when he called me right after I could hear the relief in his voice.
“She’s doing well. Our first therapy session is next week. She asked me to bring her some cookies,” he laughs.
“I’m so glad! I’ll bake her some cookies.”
“I expect you to be waiting at my house ready to give me my birthday blowie,” he says.
“That’ll have to wait until later. I want to take you out for a drink first. We’ll celebrate your sister’s recovery and your birthday.”
“Bathroom blowie?”
Laughing, I shake my head, as though he can see me. “I’m not blowing you in a bathroom. What kind of girl do you think I am?”
“The kind who is going to ride my face tonight. After my blowie, of course.”
I’m happy to hear him in such a good mood, like a weight has been lifted from him. “Enough about a blowie. Meet me at Donovan’s Bar at seven.”
“See you there, Sweets. Love you.”
“Love you.”
Today is his birthday and I’ve managed to arrange an impromptu get together at a nearby bar tonight. All the guys are coming, plus Zoe, Ayda, and Dares’s sister, Leah. It’s not really a surprise party, but I know he’ll be happy to have everyone together. I found the perfect present for him.