by S. M. Shade
“I’m going to check on Mom, then I’ll head out.”
Mom is sitting up, watching TV. “Hey, Sade. I told Doug you don’t have to be here all the time. I’m doing fine. I’m sore, but I feel better than I have in years. It’s like I can feel the life inside of me rebuilding.”
A lump raises in my throat when I see the light in her eyes. I know she has a long way to go, but she does look so much stronger. “I’m so happy for you, Mom.”
“Now, you need to get back to your life in Indianapolis.”
“After you get settled at the rehab center. I’ll still be coming to visit though.”
Smiling, she pats the bed beside her, and I take a seat. “Something is on your mind. Spill it.”
I can’t help it. It all comes pouring out. “I lied. We lied. There wasn’t really an engagement. Well, there was but he did it without asking me. He was supposed to be a fake boyfriend, not a fake fiancé. I’m so sorry. I thought you were dying and I didn’t want you to worry about me.”
She shakes her head, a little smile on her face. “Sadie Belmont, do you think I was born yesterday? When you brought Justus to my birthday visit, it was clear you barely knew each other. It was also obvious that was because of your choice, not his. I knew what you were doing, but I also saw the look on his face every time he looked at you. You might have been faking, but he wasn’t. And the fact you’re still wearing his ring says you aren’t faking it anymore.”
“I can’t believe you knew.”
“I know you as well as I know myself, little girl. And you love him.”
Resting my head in my hands, I mumble, “This wasn’t supposed to happen.”
“People have found their true loves in stranger ways,” she laughs.
“I don’t know. We’re very different. I don’t think it’ll work out. And if it doesn’t, I’ll never get over it. I’ve never felt like this. I don’t know what to do.”
Mom rubs my arm with her bruised up hand. “Love him. It’s all you can do. Nothing is guaranteed in this life, Sade. You have to risk your heart to find the man who deserves to own it. Sometimes, you risk it more than once, and have it handed to you in tatters, but you have to let it heal, stitch it back together, and try again. In the end, it’s worth it.”
“And if I told you he’s a stripper, not a programmer?”
Mom slaps the table, her laugh filling the room. “I knew it! That man is a walking wet dream. Of course he strips. And …oh.” Her eyes widen at a sudden realization. “If he’s a good dancer, I’ll bet he’s amazing in bed.”
“Mom!”
“Well?”
“Best I’ve ever had,” I grumble.
She smiles at me. “His job doesn’t matter. If it bothers you, talk to him about it, but it’s clear you’re the only woman he has eyes for. Now.” She slaps my arm. “Get the hell out of here and don’t you dare come back tomorrow. Spend some time with that man and make me some grandbabies while I get well enough to chase them around.”
“I’ll be here the day after tomorrow when they move you to rehab,” I promise. “I love you.”
“Love you, baby girl. Now, send your brother in here. I need to straighten him out too. Apparently, kids listen better after a near death experience.”
Laughing, I close her door behind me and send Doug in.
Spend some time with Justus. Hmm…I need to find something fun for us to do tomorrow.
It’s late when I get home, and my stomach is growling from the second I step inside and smell the beef stew I put in the crock pot this morning.
“Honey, you’re home!” Jutus exclaims, coming around the corner wearing one of Mom’s aprons. It’s pastel yellow with tulips all over it. I might not have laughed quite as hard if it wasn’t the only thing he was wearing.
“You like?” he asks, spinning around so I can see his tight, perfect ass.
“Really sexy, babe.”
“I know, right? How is your mom doing?”
“Better. She’s banned me from visiting tomorrow, so I’m taking you out.”
His eyebrows jump up. “Taking me out, huh? What are we doing?”
“You’ll just have to wait and see.”
“You little tease.”
I throw my arms around him, unable to resist anymore. My voice cracks when I speak. “Thank you, Justus. For everything.”
“Hey.” His voice is as soft as his hand stroking my hair. “You don’t have to thank me. What’s this about?”
“I know you paid for her rehab. No matter how long it takes, I swear, I’ll pay you back.”
Stepping back, his stern eyes meet mine. “No, you won’t. I have more money than I could ever spend, Sade. It doesn’t mean anything to me.”
“Well, it does to me. Whether you realize it or not, you’ve been my rock through all of this. I’m not sure I could’ve done it without you.”
“Sure you could have. You’re the strongest woman I know.”
“I love you.” The words come tumbling out, but I don’t regret them. I probably could’ve picked a better moment when his bare ass isn’t hanging out of a frilly apron, though.
He grabs my hair and gently pulls until I’m looking into those bright eyes. “I love you, Sadie. I’m sorry I almost screwed things up. We’re going to talk about all of this, put everything in the open, okay?”
“Okay, but you’ll need to get dressed first. I can’t take you seriously in that apron.”
Smirking, he whips it off. “Better?”
My tongue darts out to lick my lips and I grin up at him while I lower myself to my knees. “Hmm, he looks a little lonely.”
“Treat it like a Nintendo game, Sweets. Blow it before I stick it in.”
“Such a romantic,” I sigh, before wrapping my lips around him.
Chapter Twelve
Justus
Sadie wakes me, already showered and dressed. She’s never usually up before me, but she wiped me out with her talented mouth last night. Fuck being engaged. I need to marry this girl now. No other man should ever get the privilege of her phenomenal skills.
“Get up, lazy ass. It’s almost noon, and I’m taking you out today, remember?”
Rolling over, I grin up at her. “Well, if you didn’t spend all night treating my poor defenseless body like an amusement park ride…”
“Fine,” she grins, and starts walking away. “It’ll never happen again.”
“Like hell.” I jump out of bed and grab her by the waist, pulling her back against me. “I want you riding me every night. And every day. Just all the time. We’ll never stop. First, though, I need sustenance. You’ve drained me with your insatiable needs.”
Giggling, she shoves me away. “Then get dressed. You said fried chicken is your favorite? I know just the place.”
Sadie takes me to a little hole-in-the-wall restaurant with greasy walls and rickety tables. “Uh, Sadist? There was a KFC right down the street.”
“Shh! That’s blasphemy in here,” she whispers, and I’m not entirely sure she’s kidding.
A woman who looks older than God hobbles out and snaps, “What’ll it be?”
“Two chicken baskets and two Cokes,” Sadie tells her.
The old lady gives her another look before asking, “How is your mama?”
“She’s doing better. She just had a heart transplant.”
“Good, good,” she mumbles, placing a tray on the counter. “You tell her I said hello.”
Sadie grabs my arm and leads me to a table in the corner as two more customers walk in. “Sade, seriously, there have to be better places to catch E.coli.”
“Don’t be so stuck up. I’ve eaten here more times than I can count.”
The table wobbles as I sit across from her. “Which resulted in how many emergency room visits?”
“None.” Her forehead crinkles. “I know I told Mom I wouldn’t come to the hospital today, but maybe we should just stop in.”
“Up to you, Sweets. Why don’t you call her
?”
The ancient woman slaps our food on the counter and yells, “Come get it! This ain’t Denny’s. Ain’t no waitresses here.”
Charming.
Sadie laughs on the phone with her mom while I take a tentative bite of chicken. “Holy shit!” I mumble through the next mouthful. It’s the best fried chicken I’ve ever had.
“Told you,” Sadie gloats, hanging up the phone.
“You’re right. It’s awesome. Totally worth the E.coli. How is she?”
“She sounds strong and insisted we don’t show our faces there today.” She gets up and walks to the counter and back to grab a handful of napkins. My eyes may have stayed glued to her ass the whole way.
“So, are you going to tell me where we’re going?”
Swallowing, she grins. “Remember you and the guys were all bitching about the Fun Center closing?”
“Hell yeah, they had go-carts and paintball. Those are basic American rights.”
“Well, I know a go-cart place, and since I know I can race circles around you, we’re headed there next.”
I’ve never had a woman put any thought into something for me like she just did. All they’re ever interested in is fucking me, then telling their friends they bagged the hot stripper. She remembered something I said, what? Like, a year ago? And then hunted for a place? I’m not sure what I’m feeling, but I think…I’m touched. Fuck, she’s turning me into a chick.
“Oh, Sweets, I almost feel guilty for how badly I’m going to smoke you.”
* * * *
She beat me. What can I say? The woman is brutal. In fact, after she rammed me into the wall to win the third race, we were politely asked to leave.
“After that little display, I’m driving,” I laugh, snatching her keys.
“I wasn’t reckless! What a bunch of pussies!” She huffs and flops into the passenger seat.
Fuck, she’s adorable. I can’t remember the last time I had this much fun.
“Where to next, Sadist?”
She gives me directions until I pull up at a park. “I thought we could just take a little walk. There’s a path that leads back to a bridge I used to like when I was a kid.” Her glance is unsure. “You said you wanted to talk, and get everything out in the open. I thought this would be a good place.”
Somewhere she can’t run away from me in horror when she knows everything? Yep. Good place.
“Sounds good. Show me the way.”
A large shelter house with picnic tables separates the children’s playground from the rest of the park. Sadie grabs my hand and leads me away from the playground. We’re silent until we reach the tree line and get swallowed up by the thin forest.
“I need to know why you ditched me, Justus. And I need to know that it won’t happen again. If you’re done, don’t be a bitch about it. Tell me to my face. I’m not the type to lose it or make a scene.”
She’s the type to kick me in the balls. She’s also right.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart. I really am. I wasn’t lying when I told you I had to work, but that’s not the main reason I didn’t get in touch.”
When I pause, she says, “Ayda told me your sister isn’t missing anymore.”
“No, she’s in a rehab center. She’s not a junkie.” I rub my palm over my face. “Well, she’s an addict, but I don’t want people to think of her that way. It wasn’t her fault.”
Sighing, I pull her down on a bench. She doesn’t rush me when I get quiet, just squeezes my hand and stares into the purple and pink streaked sky with me until I continue. “She was taken by human traffickers over eight years ago. They rented her out to men and kept her drugged on opiates.”
“Oh Justus, I’m so sorry,” she sighs, laying her head on my shoulder.
“Yeah.” To my horror, my eyes start to burn. I’m not a crier, and I don’t say that because I’m a guy. I’ve known guys who cry more than chicks. I’ve just always been the anger and revenge type. “When I said I had to work, I went undercover as a buyer. They were auctioning her off like a piece of property. Mason’s FBI buddy helped set it up so I could try to save her, but I had to stay away from anyone I knew personally, and live the reclusive life those assholes thought I had until I could get to her. If they had figured out I wasn’t who I said I was, they would have gone after the people I care about. That’s how they work.”
“I understand,” she murmurs.
“But I could have gotten word to you if I’d tried. All I could think about was getting Hannah out of there and making them pay.”
“Justus.” She turns to me and cups my jaw. “It’s okay. It was an impossible situation, and I’m assuming it’s not something we have to worry about happening again.”
Compassion shines in her eyes as tears overflow, and I pull her into my chest. “Don’t,” I order hoarsely. “Don’t cry.”
“Will Hannah be okay?”
“I hope so, eventually, but Sade, it’s going to be a long recovery, and she’s going to need me…a lot.”
“Of course she will. Just tell me how I can help. Anything I can do.”
Tightening my embrace, I murmur in her ear. “This is all I need.”
Her face burrows into my neck. “I hate to tell you this, but you’re pretty hung up on me.”
Laughing, I wipe my eyes. God, I love this woman.
“I have news for you, Sweets. The feeling is mutual. I see how you look at me. The way you gaze at my body in awe, with your jaw hanging, a little drool dripping out.”
“Hmm, yet I’m the one who gets woken up at night with a stiff cock poking me in my back.”
“What? What’s his name? I’ll kick his ass!”
Laughing, she gets to her feet, and I join her. The hardest things I have to tell her are still to come. We make it to a small wooden bridge spanning a rushing creek and sit down, dangling our legs over the edge.
“There’s something else.”
She picks up a leaf and fiddles with it, tearing off tiny pieces and watching them flutter away. “I kind of figured. Just spit it out. I can handle it.”
“I’ve killed people,” I blurt. Smooth, Justus. That’s how you do it.
“You mean In Safe Hands…”
“Yes, it was for ISH, but I’m the one who actually did it.”
“Abusers?” she asks, staring into the water. My heart thumps. I can’t get a read on her to tell how freaked out or disgusted she is.
“Two. The worst of the worst. They targeted kids, and kept beating the system. It was take them out or watch them victimize another child.”
Every second of silence roils up the fear churning inside me. Finally, she says, “How do you get away with it? I mean…the bodies.”
“We have a way to…completely break them down. I can’t tell you about that, Sade. That’s another thing. With ISH, there will be other times when there will be things you can’t know. It’s the same for Zoe and Ayda, not because we don’t trust you, but—
“So we aren’t incriminated,” she interrupts.
“Exactly.”
“Sade, look at me,” I plead when she continues to stare into the water. “You aren’t afraid of me, are you?”
A soft smile stretches across her face. “No, but I can’t go to bed at night and wonder if you’re out killing someone, no matter how much they deserve it. I’d be on edge all the time. I’m not worried about what you’ve done in the past. Maybe it makes me a terrible person, but putting the safety of kids before the life of some predator seems like the right thing to do, no matter the law.”
Her words fill me with relief until she adds, “Does that have to be your role? Do you have to do it again?”
The simple answer is no. I don’t have to. ISH as a whole doesn’t have to. “No, and I won’t,” I reply, making the decision then and there. “Mason and his contacts have really helped us, and if I can manage to get my sister back without killing the fuckers who tortured her and turned her out, then we can find an alternative for other predators too.”<
br />
It’s time to retire the pigs. I’ve been thinking about it for a while before I found Hannah. No matter how good we are, eventually someone is going to notice the missing predators, and link it back to us. I’ll have to talk to the guys and hope they agree. Either way, I’m not the executioner anymore.
Bowing my head, I mumble, “Sade, there’s something else.” This is what I’ve been dreading the most. No matter the circumstances I was in, I know this is going to hurt her. The thought of her even talking to some doctor has me seeing red, if another guy had touched her, I’d be losing it.
“When I was undercover, I had to do some things I’m not proud of. I need you to know I never would have cheated on you if I’d had a choice. I had to get to Hannah. I—
Jumping to her feet, she glares down at me. “What the hell does that mean…cheated on me? You fucked someone else?”
I stand and reach for her, but she takes a step back. “Answer me. Did you fuck someone else?” she demands.
“The man who was in charge of the trafficking ring wouldn’t make a deal with me until I incriminated myself. He met me at a hotel and sprung it on me, held me and the woman at gunpoint. I’m so sorry, sweetheart. I had to. He might have killed us both if I didn’t.”
Tears stand in her eyes and she shakes her head, taking a step back. “You fucked a woman who was being forced into it?”
“No! The FBI had an agent undercover as well. She let herself be captured by them, and that’s the woman they brought me. She didn’t want to. I didn’t want to, but we knew we had to if we were going to survive and take those assholes down. They had over fifty women. Fifty girls ranging in age from fourteen to twenty-five. I’m so sorry, but I didn’t have a choice.”
Tears stream down her face as she turns and runs away. Fuck.
I catch up with her down the path where she sits on a wooden bench, her arms wrapped around her drawn up knees, silent sobs shaking her body. Guilt boils in my stomach. Sadie is always such a happy person, upbeat and hopeful even when her mother was in danger. Look what I’ve done to her.
“Sweetheart, please, don’t cry. It’s tearing me up.” When I sit next to her, she shakes her head, keeping it down, her face hidden.