Jealousy

by Jessica Burkhart

  That gave me a case of my own butterflies. In less than two weeks my parents and Becca would be on campus. I’d be showing them around, introducing them to my friends, and giving them a taste of Canterwood life.

  My phone vibrated in my pocket, making me jump as I walked. I laughed aloud at myself for being such a dork. Navigating the campus courtyard was like walking the streets of bustling New York City. No one had noticed my silly freak-out, nor were they staring at me like I was a crazy person for laughing at myself.

  I pulled my phone out of my pocket and checked the screen. There was a new BBM.

  Taylor:

  Survived first day. Um, u didn’t tell me that I needed 2 prep 2 give up all free time bc of schoolwork!

  I started down the gentle incline to the stable, typing as I walked.

  Lauren:

  Yay! I knew u’d make it, Tay. The hw scared me 2, but it (somehow!) becomes part of ur routine. U’ll be blowing thru it soon.

  Taylor is writing a message appeared.

  Taylor:

  Hope so. Thx 4 the confidence, Laur. What r u doing?

  Lauren:

  Walking 2 the stable. Riding lesson then back 2 room 4 hw. And I’ll prob be helping Khloe run lines 4 the play.

  Taylor:

  Say hi to Whisper 4 me. Good luck @ ur lesson. I’m gonna start hw now bc I wanna b 100% sure I finish everything. Not giving Dad 1 reason 2 make me come home.

  Lauren:

  U’ve got this, Tay. If u need help, BBM me anytime. Ur not going 2 mess up and ur dad’s not going to take u home. I won’t let him.

  I reached the stable front and locked my phone. I went straight to the tack room, which was full of lower-grade and upper-class students. It took a minute for me to see an opening to squeeze through to grab Whisper’s tack. I’d stored her grooming kit in the wooden trunk outside her stall so I’d have less to carry back and forth.

  I scooted around riders in the aisles and deposited Whisper’s tack on her trunk. Lifting the ballerina-pink lead line from the hook next to her stall door, I peered inside.

  “Hello, gorgeous!”

  An automatic smile came to my face when my eyes landed on Whisper. She blinked at me with delicate lashes that framed her gorgeous dark-brown eyes. I opened the stall door and then slid it shut behind me. My boots sank into the clean, deep sawdust as I hurried to Whisper and threw my arms around her neck. One of the grooms had thrown one of Whisper’s blankets across her back and secured the Velcro straps at her chest. The pink blanket matched her lead line.

  “Chilly today, huh, baby?” I asked. “You’re going to have fun during your lesson, and you’ll forget all about being cold. I think we’re going to be jumping today.”

  Mr. Conner had e-mailed my class last night and instructed us to meet him near the outside large arena.

  “Hey, girlies!”

  A voice carried over the neighboring stall.

  “Hey, Lex,” I called back. “Want to groom together?”

  “Def.”

  We led our horses out of their stalls and into the aisle. Both of us scanned the stable for a spot roomy enough for four.

  “There,” I said, pointing to a spot where a dark-haired older guy untied a flea-bitten gray mare and led her down the aisle.

  Lex and I, with Honor and Whisper in tow, scurried to grab the free ties. Lexa walked back to our stalls and grabbed both of our tack boxes.

  She was unusually quiet as she took off Honor’s royal-purple blanket. I undid Whisper’s blanket, folding it but watching Lexa.

  “You okay?” I asked. “You seemed really upbeat when you got here, and now you’re really quiet.”

  Lexa’s face was hidden as she brushed Honor’s neck. She flicked the body brush over the bay’s coat a few times before turning to me.

  “Lauren, I’m sorry. I hate being in this position. I have to tell you something, but I want to protect you and not say anything. You’re one of my closest friends, though, so I feel like I’m lying if I don’t tell you.”

  “Lex, you’re really scaring me,” I said. I ducked under Whisper’s neck and stood in front of my friend. “Whatever it is, I’m not going to be mad at you. I get your instinct to protect me, but I need to know.”

  “That’s what Khloe and Clare said,” Lexa said, her voice soft.

  “You told them something before you even told me?” I asked. “Why?”

  Both mares lifted their heads at my loud voice.

  “No. No,” Lexa said, shaking her head. “It’s not like that at all. I swear. It’s—” She stopped, and I stood motionless, staring at her.

  “Lexa, please just tell me.”

  Lexa played with the bristles on Honor’s body brush before looking up at me. “I had class with Clare last period today. Clare had to see Ms. Utz about a volunteer program she wants to do over Christmas break, and I went with her.”

  I nodded. “Okay.”

  “Taylor was waiting to see Ms. Utz too. We sat next to him and talked to him for, like, two seconds before Ms. Utz called him into her office. When he got up, his BlackBerry was on the seat. It must have been in his pocket or something and fallen out.”

  Whisper bumped my arm with her muzzle. She was doing the hey Lauren don’t forget I’m here act. I rubbed her neck. “Please, please don’t tell me that you guys went through his phone or something.”

  I regretted my words the second they left my mouth.

  Lexa’s eyes widened. “Of course not! Lauren, you know us better than that.”

  “Lex, I’m so sorry,” I said. I reached out and touched her elbow. “I do know better, and I’m really sorry I said that.”

  Lexa gave me a tight smile. “Clare picked up Taylor’s phone so no one else would grab it, and we were waiting for Taylor to come out. He got a text when he was inside. His phone wasn’t locked, and the message was visible for a few seconds before the screen darkened.”

  His dad. Something’s happening with Mr. Frost that Tay’s hiding from me. I knew Taylor. Very well. So well that I’d been fighting the feeling that he’d been keeping something from me. I hadn’t even admitted it to myself because I didn’t want to think about what it might be. I’d chalked it up to Tay being nervous about Mr. Frost, since he’d been a little . . . off around me since day one. But now Lexa was about to confirm my worst fear.

  “What did it say?” I asked. “I already know it was from his dad. Oh, poor Taylor. I’m going to have to find some way to talk to him about it. He must be so upset and—”

  “Lauren, it wasn’t his dad,” Lexa cut in. Her caramel-and-mocha-colored eyes locked with mine. “It was Brielle. She wrote, ‘I really miss you. You didn’t call last night.’ ”

  I was silent.

  “Laur?” Lexa asked after a few long seconds. “Are you okay?”

  I stepped forward and gently shook my friend’s shoulders.

  “Lexa Reed!” I said. “You scared me! I thought it was something really serious!”

  Confusion was all over Lexa’s face. “Isn’t it? Taylor got a text from another girl. One of your best friends. He didn’t call her last night.”

  “Lex, I’m sorry you were stressing over that. But it’s nothing. Bri and Taylor are friends. They hung out all the time, and I know they text. I’m sure Bri just asked Taylor to actually ‘call her’ last night, and he didn’t for some reason.”

  Slowly Lexa nodded. “Oh. I didn’t know they were friend-friends. I’m so sorry! I feel really dumb right now.”

  “Hey, don’t,” I said. “I meant it—I’m sorry you got worried. You’re such a good friend that you were looking out for me. It’s not as though I talk about Bri and Taylor’s friendship for you to have known that they are close. Please don’t feel silly about anything.”

  Lexa smiled. “Okay. Thanks, Laur. I’ve learned my lesson about reading other people’s texts. It’ll never happen again.”

  I bumped Lexa’s arm with my elbow. “Never say never. I can’t promise I won’t read texts if
I somehow stumble onto Lacey’s phone.”

  Lexa and I started laughing and went back to grooming our horses. Within minutes just being in Whisper’s presence made me forget about everything else going on in my life. It was my horse and me.

  WHOSE GUT TO TRUST?

  MY INSTINCT THAT WE WOULD BE JUMPING today was right on. Mr. Conner, Mike, and Doug added the last few oxers to a moderately difficult course in the largest outdoor arena while Drew, Cole, Lexa, Clare, and I warmed up our horses.

  Whisper seemed happy to be out of the stable. I felt a little guilty that I hadn’t spent nearly the amount of time with her as I normally did, but last week had been insane. I’d barely had time to brush my teeth. I looked down from Whisper’s saddle at her shiny gray coat and felt all the more gracious toward Mike and Doug for grooming her when I couldn’t and for keeping her company.

  “All right, class,” Mr. Conner called. “Line up in front of me, please.”

  We guided our horses to a stop in front of Mr. Conner. Whisper chewed her snaffle bit, ready to get out of line and start jumping.

  “Each of you will take the course that has been set up for you. After your ride your classmates and I will critique your form.”

  Clare and I exchanged eek! glances.

  “And to keep you informed, I will be away this weekend. I’ll be traveling with the eighth-grade advanced team to an out-of-state show. So, if you need to reach me for any urgent reason that cannot wait, my cell number is in the student directory. I’ll send you all an e-mail with my number just in case you can’t find your directory.”

  A year ago I never thought I’d think it, but now I couldn’t wait until I was one of the riders traveling out of town. I knew Sasha was on the eighth-grade advanced team, and I wondered how she’d do. Likely there would be a bunch of blue ribbons coming home with her. I’d have to wish her luck (in my head) later.

  “Lauren, I’d like to see you and Whisper up first,” Mr. Conner said. “Please dismount, walk the course to get a feel for the distance, and then give it a try. There aren’t any switchbacks or anything tricky. Instead I added more combinations, and there are more jumps than most of your previous courses.”

  Following Mr. Conner’s instructions, I dismounted and handed Whisper’s reins to Lexa. While I walked the course, Mr. Conner talked to everyone about the importance of walking a course and how to get the most of it.

  When I felt satisfied that I knew how many strides I’d be asking for between jumps, I rejoined the group, took Whisper’s reins, and remounted. This course was longer than usual, with fourteen jumps, but I felt that Whisper and I could handle it. All we could do was our best.

  “Whenever you’re ready,” Mr. Conner said.

  I took a breath and turned Whisper away from the other horses and riders. Mr. Conner guided them out of the arena, and I halted Whisper at the arena entrance. Even though we weren’t being timed, our time would have started the second Whisper had set foot in the large practice space.

  I squeezed my legs against Whisper’s sides, asking for a trot, and quickly let her out into a slow canter. I kept a firm grip on the reins, so she didn’t get too excited before the first jump and rush. We cleared a simple white vertical and, a few strides later, jumped a higher vertical. I let Whisper gain a little speed as she moved to the third jump, an oxer. This one didn’t have a particularly large spread, and she cleared it easily. But there was another oxer immediately after, and Whisper dug her heels into the ground as she pushed off to clear the wider spread. I held my breath for a second, afraid she’d clip the rail with her back hooves, but we landed cleanly, and the rail stayed in place.

  I smiled, but quickly refocused. We had a long way to go.

  Whisper took a higher vertical, bright orange poles, as if she was stepping over a ground pole. I did a half halt and slowed her before a triple combination, the blue-and-white rails looking a little daunting. Whisper cleared the first third of the jump, took one stride, vaulted into the air and landed on the other side of the middle combo, and with one more stride lifted off the ground to clear the final part of the triple combination.

  We cantered away, and all the poles had stayed in their cups. Yes! I thought. I want to kiss Whisper’s muzzle right now! I was so giving her extra, extra treats when we finished. Mr. Conner gave us several strides and a short half turn in the arena before Whisper jumped a plastic wall that looked just like stone.

  After the wall, she cleared a vertical and an oxer and we cantered toward a faux water jump. The tarp had a decent spread, so I let Whisper quicken her canter. She flicked her ears back and forth, weaving a little. Water jumps weren’t her favorite. Fake water or not.

  I squeezed my legs tighter around her sides and urged her forward, letting her know that running out on the jump or refusing weren’t options. As Whisper prepared to launch over the tarp, I felt a tiny ripple through her muscles as she shuddered a little. I gave her more rein and tapped my boots against her sides, encouraging her to keep moving. Whisper landed with her back hooves inches away from the tarp. That was my girl!

  The rest of the course was easy. We conquered another vertical, an oxer as the twelfth jump, a high vertical, and finished with a triple combination.

  When Whisper cantered away from the course, I switched my reins to my right hand and petted her neck. I didn’t care what critiques I was about to receive. I was more than proud of my horse, and in my eyes she’d given me the perfect ride and put her whole heart into it. I couldn’t have asked for more.

  NOW OR NEVER

  WHEN MY ALARM WENT OFF AT FIVE ON Wednesday morning, I had already been awake for what seemed like hours. Drew and I were finally going to see each other and swim. The thought of seeing Drew and working out with him made me too excited to sleep! I rolled onto my side and stopped my vibrating phone. I slid out of my warm bed and padded to my desk chair, where I’d laid out my clothes for the morning.

  I grabbed my clothes and headed for the bathroom, stopping in the doorway. On the other side of the dark room, Khloe was still asleep. She was buried under a pile of purple-and-hot-pink flannel sheets and a matching comforter. She had an arm over her rainbow unicorn Pillow Pet, Sparkles.

  Good, I thought. She helped me so much last night.

  I shut the bathroom door behind me and turned on the light. The night before last Khloe had helped me pick the perfect I-just-pulled-this-out-of-my-closet outfit to wear on my way to the pool. She’d also helped me pick my bathing suit. I’d only brought one when I’d come to Canterwood, and it didn’t feel like the suit I wanted to wear to swim with Drew.

  Khloe had helped me search online for a new suit. We each used our own computers and looked through four stores. Khloe had Delia’s and Target, and I searched Macy’s and a Brooklyn sportswear store where I’d bought swimsuits before.

  We’d each picked three suits and then showed each other our choices. Instantly we’d agreed that Khloe had picked The Suit—a bright pink tankini with purple ruched hipster bottoms. I’d scored on the price, since it was November, and had saved enough money to pay to have the suit shipped overnight. I’d tried it on yesterday, and it had fit perfectly. A bathing suit wasn’t all that I’d need to wear, though. I had to have something on to get from Hawthorne to the gym.

  Khloe had gone through my closet and had pulled together an outfit in under two minutes. It was a game she and I had unintentionally created last week, when I’d helped Khlo find an outfit in a hurry. Now, whenever one of us wanted help from the other, we tried to form a complete outfit in two minutes or less.

  Khloe’s choices were perfect. She’d picked sapphire-blue velour Xhilaration pants and a matching hoodie. A long-sleeve white thermal shirt and my gray-and-lilac Pumas completed the look. Once I’d slid into my suit and finished dressing, I twisted my hair back with a clip.

  I reached for my Yes to Cucumbers face wipes and pulled out one of the moist towelettes. I wiped away the sleepiness from my eyes and the oily shine that had accumulated
on my T-zone overnight. The fresh scent was invigorating and calming to my skin all at once. I rubbed a pearl-size amount of lotion onto my face and double-checked the mirror for any blemishes that might have popped up overnight. I squinted but didn’t see anything. I took the clip out of my hair, shaking out my locks.

  I brushed my hair and quickly put it in a French braid, leaving a few wisps of hair free. I didn’t want to spend much time on my hair, since it was going to get wet anyway in a few minutes.

  “Okay,” I said to my reflection in the mirror. “It’s now or never. Just go.”

  Khloe had flipped onto her other side and was facing the wall when I shut and locked our door behind me. Hawthorne was silent. I tiptoed down the hall and eased open the entrance door.

  Freezing air felt like it pricked any exposed skin when I stepped outside. I hurried down the steps and broke into a jog. I wanted to warm up my body and get to the gym faster. I ran around the empty courtyard, passed the empty tennis courts, and jogged around the covered outdoor pool.

  I slowed to a walk when I saw Drew. His shock of black hair was a little tousled in the morning.

  “Hey, you copied me. You’re in Puma sneakers too,” I called to him.

  Drew laughed and looked down at his tracksuit. He’d chosen a black Puma jacket, matching pants with a white stripe down the side, and a white T-shirt. And Puma sneakers.

  “It does look like we called each other and decided what to wear before we went out, doesn’t it?” Drew asked.

  “Totally,” I said. “If our bathing suits match, though, I’m going to feel really ripped off.”

  We both laughed, and Drew pulled open the door for me. I stepped inside the pool area and let out an appreciative sigh for the warm air.

  “This is a way better idea than trying not to turn into icicles by jogging,” I said.