Colters' Promise cl-4

by Maya Banks

  “I miss my mom,” Lauren whispered.

  “I know you do, baby. It’s times like these when a girl needs her mother the most. No matter how old you get, the need for your mother never goes away. I hope you’ll allow me to stand in for her.”

  Lauren squeezed her fiercely. “I’d love that more than anything.”

  Holly squeezed her back. “Not only do you have a stand-in mother, but you also have three fathers and three brothers in addition to Max, and you have two sisters too.”

  Lauren lifted her head, her eyes wide in wonder. “I do, don’t I?”

  Holly smiled. “You most certainly do.”

  “Oh,” Lauren breathed. “Max and I are so very lucky. For so long it was just us three. Him, me, and Mama. And then just me and Max. I’ve always dreamed of having a big, loving, wonderful family that just surrounded me.”

  “Well, I’d say you got your wish,” Holly said with an indulgent smile.

  Lauren wiped at her face again and briefly looked down before returning her gaze to Holly. “Does the self-recrimination ever go away? I close my eyes at night and I’m just bombarded by humiliation. I cringe at the things I put up with. Don’t get me wrong, I’m furious with him. But I’m also angry with myself, and that’s harder to take.”

  “You’re being too hard on yourself,” Holly said gently. “Give yourself time to heal. Distance always provides perspective. The guilt and self-blame will fade. You’ll be able to look back and know that the blame lies solely with him.”

  “I hope you’re right,” Lauren murmured. “I hate wallowing in this cesspool of pity.”

  “My advice? Get out more. Stop shutting yourself away from the world. Take long walks. It’s beautiful up here. Go to town. Buy something fun for yourself. Pamper yourself. Get a manicure. Whatever it takes to give yourself back the gift of confidence.”

  Lauren smiled. “Thanks, Mrs. C. Really, just thank you. I needed this kick in the ass.”

  “Oh, I don’t kick people in the ass,” Holly said. “That’s what my husbands are for. I just hug people to death and then mother them senseless.”

  Impulsively, Lauren hugged her again. “I’m so glad I’m here. This family is the absolute best.”

  Holly held her for a long moment and then eased back so she could rise from her chair. “I’d love for you to come up to the house for dinner. My children are in and out all the time. Our door is always open.”

  “I’d like that,” Lauren said softly.

  “And now I better run before the husbands send out a search party,” she said in amusement.

  “They love you so much,” Lauren said wistfully.

  Holly reached out to stroke her hair. “One day you’ll find someone who loves you just as much.”

  “I’ll walk you down,” Lauren said, rising from her own chair.

  Holly gave her a delighted smile. Max and Callie would be thrilled that Lauren ventured down. It was a step. Lauren wouldn’t be taking on the world in the next day, but she’d get there on her own. The Colters would simply close ranks around her and help her get back on her feet again.

  CHAPTER

  10

  LILY waited anxiously for her husbands to get home. They’d been banished to the dads so Holly could come over for her cooking lesson. For the first time, Lily had been impatient for her mother-in-law to leave. Lily was focused on having her men return so that she could make things right.

  She thought back over her plan for the hundredth time, reciting the words she’d committed to memory but also knowing that the moment her husbands were there in front of her, she’d forget everything and have to wing it.

  The important thing was that she would give them a memory to replace the one of her freaking out and scaring them to death. She’d give them something to look back on when their own children were grown. A happy time, a time to be excited and look to the future.

  It had been a wake-up call for her when she’d realized just how much she lived in the now. Not that it was a bad thing. No one wanted to wish their life away, always looking forward and never enjoying the here and now.

  But she’d made it a practice to never look beyond the next day. It was almost as if she were afraid to hope for any kind of a future. Or maybe she was just afraid she wouldn’t have one.

  Finding out she was pregnant had altered her perception. It had altered her focus. No longer was today the only thing she concentrated on. Now she looked to the future, imagining how their lives would change when they welcomed a son or daughter into their family.

  It was … nice.

  Scary. Heart-stopping. Nerve-racking. But so very nice.

  Her pulse leaped when she heard the truck in the drive. She smoothed her hands down her jeans, wiping her palms before she started toward the door to greet them.

  She was there to open the door before they reached the porch. She tried to smile but she was so nervous that she wasn’t sure she pulled it off convincingly.

  Michael reached her first, and before he could say anything, she launched herself into his arms and gave him a scorching kiss to curl his toes.

  When she pulled away, his eyes were half-lidded and dazed. She smiled and pushed him into the living room.

  Seth and Dillon stood in the doorway, observing her cautiously. Not wanting to leave them out in the least, she went into Seth’s arms and kissed him with every bit as much heat as she’d kissed Michael.

  Man, she loved the way he smelled. Loved the way he felt. He was still wearing his uniform, and he hadn’t yet taken off his holster with his gun.

  All in good time.

  She felt a little smug when he was reluctant to let her go, but she pointed him toward Michael and then went into Dillon’s arms.

  She tried to take control much as she’d done with Michael and Seth—though interestingly enough, Michael was the more dominant force, especially when it came to sex—but Dillon was having none of that.

  He met her hungrily, taking over and ravaging her mouth. For several long, breathless seconds, he tasted her, explored her lips, and nibbled teasingly at their fullness.

  “How are you feeling?” he whispered.

  She put a finger over his lips and then turned to the others.

  “I have something important I want to tell you.”

  Seth lifted an eyebrow, then glanced at Michael, then to Dillon, and finally back to her. “Okay.”

  She gestured everyone toward the couch. “Sit.”

  As soon as they were all seated, she moved forward, no longer nervous or edgy. Peace settled over her. Her mind was quiet and no longer contained the painful memories of the past. It was filled instead with images of the future. Of her husbands and a tiny newborn baby. And then an older child, a girl or a boy. And of her husbands doting on him or her, and other children. Their family.

  Her heart felt near to bursting. For so long she’d been ruled by the past. She’d hurt for so long that she’d nearly forgotten how to experience joy. Now it flooded her. Seeped into every part of her heart and soul.

  She went to her knees between Dillon’s legs and reached with both hands to pull Seth’s and Michael’s hands so that she held them against her heart.

  “Guess what? I’m having your baby,” she said, her smile so big that she could barely get the words out.

  Seth’s eyes went soft. With love. So much love. And understanding as well. Michael smiled and squeezed her hand. Dillon reached out and cupped her cheek, his expression so fierce, and yet tears glittered harshly in his eyes.

  “Isn’t that wonderful?” she asked.

  And suddenly she was pulled onto Dillon’s lap. Michael cradled her from behind and Seth pulled her feet onto his lap. They surrounded her, their love warming her to her very core.

  “It’s the most wonderful gift anyone’s ever given me,” Dillon choked out.

  Seth’s hand caressed a line up her leg to rest on her knee and he squeezed, his smile so big that his face nearly split.

  Michael nuzzle
d her neck and then whispered low in her ear. “Are you happy, Lily? I know you’re scared, baby, but are you happy?”

  She turned, leaning into his chest. “I’m terrified, but I’ve never been happier than at this moment.”

  “We won’t let you down,” Dillon said gruffly. “We’ll be with you every second of every minute of every day. You’ll never be alone.”

  She reached up to cup his face as he’d done to hers. “I know, Dillon. I do know. I love you all so much. I’m so sorry I handled this so badly the first time. I wanted it to be special and for a little while, I let grief for Rose overwhelm me. I want this baby. I want our child. So very much.”

  She turned so she could straddle Dillon’s lap and so she could touch Michael and Seth. She could see them and they could see her.

  “Before I met you, I would never have believed that my life could be so full of joy and happiness. I’d vowed to never have another child. I wouldn’t risk it. But you give me such strength. You love me, and because you love me, I feel so strong. I feel like I can do anything. Even face my darkest fear.”

  Seth leaned in and pressed his lips to hers and then he cupped the back of her head, simply holding her close.

  “We’ll do this together, Lily. Just like Dillon said. You’ll never be alone. We’ll be with you every step of the way. Our baby will be protected, cherished, and loved by every member of the Colter family. No child will ever grow up more loved.”

  “Have you been to the doctor yet?” Michael asked. “Do you know how far along you are?”

  They hadn’t discussed the pregnancy since she’d had her little meltdown. She could see the questions they were dying to ask, but they’d purposely not overwhelmed her and had given her time to adjust to the idea.

  She loved them for that, but she also knew that it had been difficult for them because they wanted to be able to talk about it. They wanted to be able to be excited. They wanted her to be as happy about it as they were.

  And so they’d let her take the lead and had been as loving and supportive as always, content to wait until she was ready to take that first shaky step.

  Well, she was there. She might not light the world on fire with her courage or bravery, but she had something going for her that not many others had. She had three wonderful men who loved her unconditionally.

  Unconditionally.

  Such a strong, powerful word. How many people could say they were loved without conditions? Without strings? No questions. No hesitation. They were loved.

  Her heart clutched even as she nodded in response to Michael’s question.

  “I went to see Dr. Burton several days ago. I suspected … or rather I had a suspicion, or maybe it was a fear. He did a test there in the office, then gave me a bunch of vitamins to take and scheduled another appointment in a month. My best estimate is that I’m around six to eight weeks along. Probably closer to eight by now.”

  “We’ll all go with you to your appointments. Every one of them. Have you been feeling sick? Are you more tired than usual?”

  Lily smiled at the concern in Michael’s voice. Though as a vet he treated animals, he still went all doctorly on her at the first sign of any illness or upset.

  “Queasy. And yes, tired. Like oh-my-God tired. And my breasts are sore. But the fatigue was what clued me in. It was exactly how I felt with Rose—like I didn’t even want to get out of bed. I felt that way for much of my pregnancy, and it’s why I never really recovered when I went home with her.”

  Dillon’s expression grew fierce. “That won’t happen this time. You’re going to rest. You aren’t going to lift a finger. And after the baby is born, you’re coming home and you’re not going to do anything more than hold or feed the baby.”

  Her heart ached at the protectiveness in his voice. If only she’d had them when Rose was born. So many if-onlys. She reached down to place a hand on her still-flat belly. She couldn’t bring Rose back. And she couldn’t replace her. But she could give birth to her brother or sister, and a part of Rose would live on.

  Dillon picked up her hand and pressed a gentle kiss to her palm. “I love you, Lily. We’ll take care of you and our baby. I swear it.”

  She leaned forward and hugged him tightly. He wrapped his arms around her and held on. He trembled against her, so much emotion shuddering through his big body.

  “I know you will, Dillon. I love you too. So much. You and Michael and Seth saved me. You save me every day.”

  When she pulled away, Michael tugged her into his arms and cradled her close.

  “Do you want to tell the rest of the family or would you rather wait awhile?”

  Lily hesitated. “I thought it would be a great Christmas present. For everyone. A new Colter. The first grandchild for your parents. Everyone will be together this year. Somehow it just seems fitting to break the news then.”

  “I think that’s a wonderful idea,” Seth said, joy lighting his eyes.

  “You know what I think would be an even more wonderful idea?” she said in a low, husky voice.

  Dillon’s hands tightened on her thighs as though he recognized the tone in her voice and knew exactly what it was she was up to.

  “What’s that?” Dillon asked in a near growl.

  “If you all took me to bed and made love to me.”

  “Oh hell yes,” Michael said as he rose from the couch. He was already reaching for her, pulling her up from Dillon’s lap.

  He swept her into his arms, cradling her against his heart. He gazed down at her, relief and love like a beacon shining in his eyes.

  “I love you,” he said, his voice hoarse and a little shaky.

  She reached up to touch his face. “I love you too.”

  He carried her toward the bedroom, followed by Seth and Dillon. Once there, he laid her gently on the bed and kissed her deep and sweet.

  There was a reverence to their every touch as they undressed her. Their touches were gentle, so much so that it made her chest tighten and ache. Their fingers stroked, their palms caressed, and their lips kissed.

  She lay there naked, spread out before them as they stood over the bed, their gazes riveted. Their eyes brimmed with love, with adoration. Tears burned her lids because she could feel their love. They didn’t just say the words. They lived them each and every day.

  It had nearly broken her when Seth had asked if she no longer wanted the relationship with him and his brothers. Never did she want them to doubt her love or her commitment.

  She watched as they undressed. She never tired of seeing their bodies, of holding her breath as each piece of clothing fell away. They still did that to her. Still made her light-headed and turned her on with nothing more than a stare.

  Michael was the leanest of the three. Taut, muscled. Not as broad shouldered as his brothers, but he was a bit taller. While Seth and Dillon had short, clean haircuts, Michael had shoulder-length, mussed hair that she found adorably sexy. She always thought it was his one rebellion. Nothing about him would make anyone think he was a rebel. He was extremely intelligent, quiet, and tended to be serious.

  Seth was broader and his muscles more developed. He maintained a disciplined fitness regimen, especially since he’d been laid up and out of work for several months after being shot two years ago.

  Dillon was the stockiest of the three. Massive shoulders, bulging arms that sported tattoos. He had an I-don’t-give-a-fuck attitude that often irritated others, but those who knew him knew he had a heart of gold and when he loved, he loved with all his heart, deeply and without reservation. He was loyal to his toes. All the Colters were. It was a principle drilled into them from birth.

  Family wasn’t just something. It was everything.

  Dillon leaned over her, pressing his hard, warm body to hers. He was careful to hold most of his weight off her as he stared down into her eyes. He stroked his fingers through her hair and then leaned down to kiss her.

  “Are you more sensitive now?” he asked huskily. “I’ve heard women’s br
easts can be painful during early pregnancy.”

  She smiled. “Yeah, they’re extremely tender. They feel bigger, and if I so much as bump into something, it’s like stubbing a toe.”

  “Then we’ll be extra careful with you.”

  He moved to the side of her, laid back, and then reached for her arm. “Get on top,” he coaxed. “I want to look at you, and I know they do too.”

  Seth took her hand and helped her sit up, and then Michael was there, helping her slide over Dillon’s thighs. She settled just below his straining erection, allowing it to rest against her belly.

  No one could resist such temptation.

  She wrapped her fingers around the thick base and gently slid her hand upward to the tip. The bed dipped and Michael and Seth got in on either side of her. Seth leaned in, kissing her shoulder, nipping gently. Michael cupped one breast ever so gently in his palm, then leaned down to brush a light kiss across the top.

  Her nipple immediately hardened and instead of aching discomfort, she ached for his touch. She wanted his mouth, even knowing how hypersensitive her breasts were at the moment.

  Dillon slid his hands up her legs and over her hips to her waist. Then he lifted her, positioning her so she was over his cock.

  There was a sense of urgency, almost as if he couldn’t wait to get inside her, to reaffirm his possession. As soon as she pushed down, enveloping his hardness, his nostrils flared and his eyes closed.

  His hands shook at her hips and then he tightened his grip as she took him all.

  Seth turned her face to his, kissing her long and deep. “Is it okay? He’s not hurting you, is he?”

  She returned his kiss hungrily, wanting more. She wanted it all. All three men loving and cherishing her. Making love to her as only they could.

  “No,” she whispered. “But I want more. I want you.”

  Seth sucked in his breath. “Are you sure?”

  She nodded. “You won’t hurt me, Seth. The baby is safe. We don’t have to stop making love. At least not for a while. I need you.”

  The soft plea turned his eyes warm and soft but then they glittered and his pupils dilated. His breathing sped up as he pulled back and pushed up from the bed. A moment later he returned and rained a trail of kisses down her spine, to the small of her back, and then over the curve of her behind.