Mr. President: A Billionaire & Virgin Fake Fiancé Romance

by Alexis Angel

  Of course, I don't do any of those things.

  I've really fucked things up, and I know that.

  I know that this is serious as a heart attack.

  But as much as I want to run after Ashley, I know I have to handle this situation just right, with a degree of delicacy. I need to use a deft hand, or I'll not only lose Ashley, but the White House as well.

  I can't let that happen. I won't let that happen.

  There's a whole lot at stake here.

  In fact, everything is on the fucking line. And I can't rely on anyone else to solve this for me. I have to solve it for myself. This is just another hurdle, in a series of never-ending hurdles that life is going to throw my way, and I've got to overcome them.

  Haven't I overcome gigantic roadblocks in my life before? I need to think of this as just another one. I need to keep a cool, calm head.

  And I'm Austin fucking Bain. I refuse to be a footnote in history.

  Remember when I told you that I'm a competitive person? Yeah, well, competitive is an understatement. I don't even know the meaning of the word 'lose.'

  And Ashley's words haunt me. She said to check the Oval Office for bugs, and it makes sense, now that I think about it.

  I think she's right. Why wouldn't Bob Walker try to bug this place?

  I just wish I had thought of that sooner.

  Immediately, I call Tracy into my office, and as she steps in, I close the door behind her. "Listen, have the Oval Office swept for bugs," I instruct her, "and quickly."

  "I'm assuming you don't mean the kind that crawl on multiple legs. You think someone's been spying on us?" she asks, her eyes wide.

  "Not someone," I say, "Bob fucking Walker."

  I can see the realization of it dawn on her face. There's a moment of recognition, and she seems to agree. The more I think about it, the more sense it continues to make.

  "I'm on it," she says.

  "And one more thing," I continue. "Arrange a televised press conference."

  When?" she asks.

  "For tomorrow night, I can't waste any time."

  "What are you going to say?" Tracy asks.

  That's a damn good question. I'm wracking my brain.

  "Truthfully, I don't know," I reply. "But I'll figure that out."

  Tracy nods, making notes in an app on her cell phone.

  "Oh, and another thing," I say. "Just make sure Ashley is there."

  "Are you sure that's a good idea? She stormed out of here, and seemed pretty upset."

  "Just do it, please—it's important."

  Tracy reluctantly nods her head, as if she's resigned to the idea and there's nothing she can do about it. "Okay, I'll do my best."

  "Thanks, I believe in you, Tracy."

  "That's a lot of pressure," she grins.

  "I know you'll make it happen," I say, patting her on the shoulder.

  As Tracy leaves the office, my mind continues to spin like a top, twirling through every possible scenario, every possible narrative that I could give at tonight's press conference.

  What I know for certain is that I'm not giving up Ashley.

  I'm not giving up the presidency. No. We’ve done too much good. We’ve fixed the country too much. Too many people are still left to help.

  I pace around the office like a tiger pacing inside of a cage. I feel that every muscle in my body is tense, and ready for action.

  If Bob Walker thinks I'm going to step out of the arena with my tail tucked between my legs, he's sorely mistaken. If there's any fucking man up to this challenge, it's me.

  I remind myself that that this is where I am because I took chances. I knew from the beginning that it was a risky endeavor. And still, I took that risk.

  Why? Because at the end of the day, life favors the bold. That's the honest fucking truth. That's where real success can be found.

  Show up. Be bold. Fake it if you have to.

  I don't give a fuck what anyone says. I will always take my chances.

  And that's exactly what I'm going to do tonight.

  Roll the dice. Spin the roulette wheel. Play my hand.

  Tomorrow night, I'm going to fucking take my chances in front of the entire world.

  An idea starts formulating in my brain. I can feel a switch in momentum, and I feel like I'm onto something. I don't give a fuck if anyone thinks that this is the craziest idea ever.

  You know why? Because no matter what—come hell or high water—nothing is stopping me. Tomorrow night I'm going down in history.

  For good or for bad—I'll be in the next generation of history books, that's for fucking sure.

  I scroll through every legal contact I have in my phone.

  It's time to call the experts.

  28

  Washington Beat

  Future First Lady? Or First Mistress? First Booty Call?

  From the desk of Margie Preston – our savvy but slightly sappy political reporter

  Wow wee!!! Did you see the last 24 hours people? Have you followed on what’s been happening? Because events are changing minute to minute and if you don’t keep up, you’ll soon find yourself needing a map you’ll be so lost.

  But just in case you missed something that happened in the news because you know, life, let me break it down for you.

  So, to start…the President is single again!!! Yay!! It turns out that Mr. President is really just Mr. Fake Fiancé. At least that’s what the offices of Speaker of the House Bob Walker are stating. To quote the Speaker in his televised address, “I have irrefutable proof that the President of the United States hired Ms. Draper with the express intention of pretending to be his fiancée for the purposes of publicity. The whole operation was a political PR job. With no goal other than to deceive the American people.”

  If that sounds a bit harsh, the Speaker went on to get even harsher. “Ms. Draper received no vetting from the government. She was not cleared for any sensitive information. And in her prior dealings, she has rubbed shoulders with many people who work for institutions and states that could be hostile to the interests of the United States. It’s entirely possible that Ms. Draper traded sexual favors to a President who is known to like sexual favors for information that she might not have gotten otherwise.”

  Did that sound like he was accusing Ashley Draper, the woman we thought would be our future First Lady? Here is what the Speaker of the House went on to say.

  “Let me be very, very, clear. I am accusing the woman that we know as Ashley Draper as being a spy. I don’t know for what government or institution, but it’s clear that she is in the White House, just moments away from the nuclear launch codes under false pretenses.”

  You think that’s bad?

  Wait till what what the Speaker of the House had to say today.

  “It’s come to my knowledge that Ms. Draper deals in the trading of information and embarrassing secrets. She entraps people into embarrassing situations. My staff was able to dig this out. It’s now clear to me that our President is being extorted by Ms. Draper into selling state secrets. This redoubles my calls for impeachment and imprisonment of this President due to his unfitness to serve the highest office of the land.”

  Speaker of the House Bob Walker. Fierce opponent of Austin Bain. Calling for his impeachment. And it seemed just the other day the country was getting ready for a White House wedding. Now we might be getting ready for a White House jailing.

  Not to be outdone, the White House has responded to the charges that Bob Walker has made. But it’s odd, because they’ve just had one message.

  “The President will address the nation. Tonight,” commented Press Secretary Cheryl Maddox.

  I was supposed to go to CrossFit. But this is the perfect excuse to miss it. It’s going to be an interesting evening, that’s for sure.

  29

  Ashley

  “What’s gotten into him?” I ask Tracy as we walk down a corridor at a brisk pace, heading toward the conference room.

  “No idea,�
�� she shrugs, trying to appear calm and in control, but I know that she’s a wreck underneath her professional demeanor. Against his own advice, Austin has decided to hold a press conference, and he hasn’t even told Tracy a word of what he’s going to be saying. Maybe all this stress has gotten the best of him. And if that’s what’s happening … well, then, we’re all fucked. But it’s not like we can stop him; he’s the President of the United States, after all, and when the President wants something, he usually gets it.

  Even if that’s a press conference that might dictate his own impeachment

  I know what you’re thinking; what am I doing back at the White House, right? After the heated exchange of words between Austin and I, I was on the verge of leaving for good. And I did. Went back to my apartment for the night. But a deal is a deal, and I’ve never backed out of one. And I’m not going to start now. And, besides, despite how much of an asshole he was toward me… I still believe that he’s the right man to be leading this country.

  “Thing is,” Tracy tells me, stopping before we enter the wing of the White House opens to the reporters, “a bug was found in the Oval Office. Just like you said. And it’s as clear as water that Walker is the one behind it. There’s a forensics team up there as we speak.”

  “Maybe he plans to use that as leverage against Walker?”

  “If that were the case, I doubt he’d call a press conference. He’d do it behind closed doors.”

  “Well, let’s hope he has a plan then,” I whisper as I step with Tracy inside the conference room, taking our seats on an area cordoned by the Secret Service. The room is completely packed with the White House press corps, and the mood is one of nervousness and excitement. Whatever Austin says at this press conference, history will be made—one way or another.

  “He’s late,” I tell Tracy as I look down at my wristwatch. My heart aches as I remember the first time I saw Austin, back when I was being briefed on what my job would be; but this time the mood is a sour one, and no intern joke finds its way to my lips. Tracy opens her mouth to respond but then closes it again as Austin strolls inside the room by a side entrance, buttoning his jacket as he assumes his position behind the podium.

  “Good evening, everyone,” he says into the mic, his gaze wandering over every single person in the room. His voice is deep and serious and, for the first time, he has adopted a presidential posture that would make George Washington proud. “Ever since I assumed the Presidency, the press has been obsessed with my personal life. With this new allegation that the Speaker of the House has made against me, I think it’s time I finally address all that has been said. Bob Walker was correct: Ashley was brought on board as my fake fiancée.”

  His words hit the room like a nuclear bomb and, before he’s bombarded with a thousand questions, he raises one hand up in the air, calming everyone down. It isn’t that hard: everyone’s too stunned to do anything, and that includes me.

  “It’s time this country knows the truth. I owe it to all of the Americans who have put their trust in me.” Pausing for a couple of seconds, as if gathering his thoughts, he then continues. “Despite what I’ve told you, I’ve broken no laws. No crime was committed; Ashley wasn’t given access to any classified information. But, yes, I’ll admit this whole ruse was an ill conceived plan, and the country deserves better of me.”

  “The Speaker of the House is, however, trying to use this mistake against me. And he’s doing it in such a way that proves he’s the wrong person to hold the Presidency. As we speak, a special forensics team is investigating Bob Walker and it seems like a foregone conclusion that the Speaker of the House was involved in illegal wiretapping.”

  This time, there’s a slight oh of surprise washing over everyone in the room. The President is revealing that his fiancée is fake, the Speaker of the House is involved in wiretapping—what’s happening with this country?

  “I take full responsibility for my mistakes,” Austin continues, his presidential tone demanding the attention of everyone in the room. “But I also want to take responsibility for the good I’ve done. Under my presidency, the nation is better off than it's ever been. Public funding has improved, our ill-conceived involvement with foreign states has been reduced, and unemployment is at an all-time low. During the past decade, the world has looked at the United States as an empire too big for its own good, but now the tide is turning. The world is, once again, looking up at us as a role model, capable of leading by example instead of by force.”

  “HELL YEAH!” someone shouts from the back of the room, and I turn back to see that the shout came from one of the reporters. He’s on his feet, ready to applaud Austin, but then realizes that everyone is looking at him and he sinks down onto his seat, embarrassed.

  “Sure, my methods might be unconventional. I don’t care about what’s politically correct; I care about results. I care about making this country greater than it has ever been. And this is why Americans all over the country voted for me because they want results. They want things to be better… and things are better. And they will keep on getting better.”

  With that, he falls into a deep silence, his gaze wandering over the room with a kind of poised confidence. I half-expect the room to erupt with a million questions but, instead, every just stays silent, allowing everything that Austin has said to sink in.

  “At some point in our recent history, things changed for us,” Austin says from the podium. “It wasn’t about what’s best for everyone, or even working to compromise to make the country great. It began to become about what’s best for me. What do I want, versus what do we want. What’s good for us became uncool when compared to what’s making me feel good right now.”

  There’s silence.

  “We began to want things for ourselves without paying for them,” Austin says. “And we didn’t want to deal with our problems. And so we forgot ourselves. And we created a machine. A beast that fed our desire to forget.”

  Photographers are clicking.

  “How did we do that?” Austin asks. He pauses and smiles.

  “We created a media machine that began by pitting us against each other. They scared the shit out of us and made us forget that we’re all fucking Americans. But they did it well. They made us forget and they knew that no matter who was elected, they would make money by tearing that person down and half the country would cheer them on. So they’ve been coming after me and my…dalliances and saying it’s the end of the fucking world when I’ve done so much good. They measure the inches on my cock and spend time on that rather than the millions of jobs I’ve brought back. And you can bet your last dollar that when Bob Walker made those accusations, they seized on it.”

  There’s an embarrassed silence. Austin looks from his podium.

  “I challenge anyone, in this room or in the whole country, to say I’m not the best thing that has ever happened to this country,” he says and, in this very moment, he doesn’t look like a President of the United States; he looks like a God King, descended from the heavens to give fire and wisdom to the humans living under him. If this was a battlefield, I believe that everyone in this room would follow Austin straight into the arms of death.

  “WE’RE WITH YOU!” one of the onlookers lining up the war on the far corner shouts and, a few seconds after, more shouts of support start exploding through the room. Before I know it, everyone is up on their feet, clapping their hands and whistling. This impromptu standing ovation lasts for a few minutes, and I don’t think there’s any doubt in anyone’s mind, the country stands behind its President.

  I guess that, even though my assignment was a failure, we succeeded in what was our purpose. The country stands with Austin and now… now I’m no longer needed.

  “I’m going now,” I tell Tracy, going up to my feet. With all the confusion in the room, I can probably sneak out without anyone noticing.

  Except Austin has other plans.

  “One more thing,” Austin says into the mic, his strong voice booming over the loud cel
ebratory ruckus. Everyone quiets down in response, and even I turn on my heels to see what else Austin’s going to say. And when I turn around, I realize that he’s looking straight at me.

  “Even though my relationship with Ashley started the way it did…” He takes a deep breath, a few cracks showing in his poised posture. “She’s the best damn thing that has ever happened to me. And I don’t want to lose her just because I’m unconventional.” Still looking straight at me, he goes around the podium and starts walking down the aisle, heading toward me. I remain frozen in place, my mouth slightly ajar as I try to wrap my mind around what Austin has said.

  Did I dream it? Or did he really say he didn’t want to lose me?

  Coming up to me, Austin takes both my hands in his and offers me a gentle smile. The cameras are all focused on us, and everything that’s happening is being broadcasted to the entire world. I’m on the world stage now, billions of eyeballs on me.

  “What are you doing, Austin?” I tell him in a whisper, my heart's racing so fast I wouldn’t be surprised if it simply jumped out of my chest.

  “The right thing. The country needs a First Lady like you,” he replies with a whisper of his own and, without waiting for a reply, he goes down on one knee.

  “You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me, Ashley. I love you like I’ve never loved anyone or anything… and I need you by my side.” With that, he reaches inside his jacket and brings out a small box. Popping it open with a flick from his thumb, he shows me the most beautiful ring I’ve ever seen, something antique and with a discrete diamond cresting the golden band. “Will you marry me?”