Kanti (Born of Shadows Book 3)

by J. R. Erickson

  "What do you mean?" Elda asked, concerned.

  "I guess I just feel off, and it's not only the hormones. I feel like the baby wanted me to keep her a secret. Does that sound insane?"

  The older witches exchanged troubled looks.

  "Is it possible that it's not the baby communicating that to you?"

  "You think it's Kanti?"

  "I think that Kanti is very invested in getting into your head. I don't know why, but it seems strange that just as you became pregnant, she shared the birth of her own child with you."

  "A child that she cursed," Abby said gravely.

  "Maybe," Helena said, and they both turned to her in surprise. "What if she didn't intentionally curse the baby? What if her pain and anger acted without her?"

  "I will challenge you on that with this. If she didn't intend to create the curse, why does she appear to be perpetuating it? Imagine the energy it would take to inadvertently do such a thing. And then the energy to maintain it. The energy to make contact with and manipulate the Vepars," Elda continued.

  "The energy to make contact with and manipulate us," Abby murmured.

  "I guess that is difficult to argue with," Helena admitted.

  "We have another reason for dropping in on you today, Abby."

  Abby waited, her body tense. Had Oliver mentioned that Sebastian had been acting strangely?

  "Julian found a map at Ula," she continued.

  Abby relaxed, letting the breath she had been holding rush out.

  Elda cocked her head to the side.

  "You know about it?"

  "No, just had some nausea coming on. It passed," she lied and immediately felt guilt at the deception. "What kind of map?"

  "A map that appears to mark a burial site. When Oliver returned to Ula, he recognized the shape of the peninsula. He thinks it may be here on your property."

  "A graveyard?" Abby wrinkled her nose.

  "No, not a graveyard. A single burial."

  "And you found this in the Kanti Files?"

  "Exactly," Helena affirmed. "In the Important box. Julian noticed it right away. It was marked Trager so we knew it had to be in this area."

  "And Oliver confirmed that it's here?"

  "Not confirmed, but felt pretty sure. Julian is on a walk right now. He's hoping to ascertain whether the map depicts your property or not. Can I ask you, Abby, what compelled you to buy this home?"

  Abby stood and set her empty mug in the sink, suddenly needing to feel busy. She refilled the teakettle and shuffled through the cupboards for the sipping chocolate that Sebastian had brought home on his last adventure to the market.

  "European sipping chocolate?" she asked, holding up the container.

  Elda waited patiently and Helena nodded, lifting up her cup.

  "I dreamed about it," she confessed.

  The water boiled quickly and the teakettle began to shriek. Abby jumped, startled.

  "We had been looking at houses for a few days. We stayed at that big hotel on the bay, The Cherry Resort. It has glass breezeways that connect two sides of the hotel. One night, I woke up and I walked into the hall and down to one of the breezeways. When I looked out, I saw this enormous old house surrounded by woods. It looked like a real-life dollhouse and I swear my dream took me right up to the sitting room window. Inside the house, this giant fire blazed in the brick fireplace and the room was filled with people. You were all there, plus Lydie and Oliver, Sebastian and me, even my parents. I don't know that I'd ever felt so safe and loved and just...home. And then I woke up."

  Helena breathed and looked toward the window and the sweeping view of the snowy shore.

  "It is beautiful."

  "How did you find it after your dream?"

  "I didn't have to," Abby went on. "Sebastian had already set up three viewings for us that day. This house was our first stop."

  "It didn't concern you at all? That you dreamed of the house and then you found it?"

  "No. The Kanti dreams are different, Elda. I'm in her life, they're more like memories and half the time, I'm not even sleeping when I have them. This dream felt guided by me, my energy, my spirit."

  "But you feel her here? Kanti?"

  Abby bit her lip, wishing she could deny the question.

  "Yes, but maybe she is focusing her energy more on making contact. I don't see why it should have anything to do with our property."

  "Because if her body is buried in those woods," Elda murmured, "her connection is a lot stronger."

  ****

  "The greatest barrier to your elemental energy is right here." Julian tapped two fingers on the side of his head. "Therefore, you must practice quieting the mind. Ancient practitioners of yoga called this yogash chitta vritti nirodhah—or the mastery of the mind's activity so that you can rest in your true nature. Buddha referred to this as taming the monkey mind. In any discipline that involves detachment from the ego and the material world, you will discover the same guidance—you must quiet the mind."

  Sebastian nodded and shifted from foot to foot. They stood deep in the trees on his and Abby's property. They had hiked more than a mile in, until Julian stopped suddenly and said it felt like a good place to start.

  "You'll sit in the snow in silence. Let's start with a half hour."

  "Are you serious?" Sebastian asked, incredulous. If meditation was the training, why couldn't he sit by the fireplace where he wouldn't freeze his balls off?

  "I know it seems counterintuitive. I bring you into the cold, clearly rain is on the way. You are uncomfortable, probably irritated, but all of those distractions are the truth of your brain in any given moment. It is much easier to meditate in comfort, but it only teaches you to still your thoughts in moments of peace and tranquility. I want you to still your thoughts when everything in you is talking—when your body is crying out for attention, when your mind is questioning the validity of my guidance. That is a rich space of learning."

  Sebastian opened his mouth and then closed it. He wanted to argue. Part of his nature tended toward stubbornness, and it had been many years since anyone told him what to do. He almost couldn't help but question the old witch's tactics.

  Julian watched him carefully, but gave away no evidence of his thoughts. Was he expecting Sebastian to argue?

  "Okay," Sebastian said, finally.

  He looked around for a suitable place to sit and finding none, plopped onto the snow. He folded his legs awkwardly. He had not worn snow pants, believing the physical exertion would have him sweating in no time, but now he regretted the decision.

  Julian wandered away from him.

  He closed his eyes and tried to focus. A hundred thoughts darted around his brain.

  "It's like a pinball machine in here," he muttered and then cracked an eye open to see if Julian had heard him. The man was nowhere in sight.

  He shut his eyes again. He focused on his breath, counting to five on the inhale and eight on the exhale. Abby had taught him that one and it often helped him to fall asleep at night. As he counted the seconds of his breath, his legs and butt shifted from cold to tingling and then finally numb.

  When a thought arose, he envisioned encasing it in a bubble and watching it float away. That tip he'd learned from Claire, and she had learned it from Adora. Claire had wanted to help him with his temper. One night she sat him down, legs crossed on a pillow, and walked him through a guided meditation. Each time he had an angry thought—that particular day Sebastian had been livid over a neighbor who kept taking his parking space in the apartment complex—he should imagine the thought moving inside a bubble and then floating into the sky.

  As he remembered the evening, he lost track of his empty mind and started to think of Claire. Thoughts of Claire ignited his most recent memory of waking in the shed with ideas of her resurrection. It was utter madness and yet something sparked in him at the thought of her. He imagined Claire holding his and Abby's newborn baby. He envisioned her sitting on the porch in the summer, sipping ginger ale
, her favorite, and talking with Abby about life as a witch. Abby would have a friend and he would have his sister back.

  He realized that his whole body had grown tense with his contemplations and he had taken hold of something in his hands. When he opened his eyes he saw a crow, its dark wings slick, crushed in his grasp. Its head hung to the side and its black eye stared at nothing. He gasped and flung the bird away from him.

  He looked up to find Julian watching him through the trees.

  Chapter 18

  Abby stooped to pick up a tiny onesie, freckled with pink and yellow elephants. She ran her hands over the soft fabric and felt a rush of warmth spread through her body. She added it to her basket.

  It felt good to shop for baby clothes. The experience felt so fabulously normal. Unfortunately, her thoughts veered into a very non-normal space-specifically to conversations from the day before. Elda seemed convinced that something sinister had led Abby and Sebastian to their house. She disagreed. When she asked Sebastian about it, he barely said two words before complaining of a headache and slipping off to bed. She wondered if his work with Julian had exhausted him.

  A hand clamped down on her shoulder and she swung around, basket in front of her, ready to defend herself.

  "Whoa." Victor took a step away and held his hands up. He grabbed a white blanket from a shelf and waved it in the air. "I surrender."

  "Good grief, are you trying to send me into early labor?"

  He laughed and cast his eyes down.

  "I would imagine that's not a risk just yet."

  She smiled and shook her head, exasperated.

  "Still, I prefer not to start a rainstorm in the Stork Stop."

  "It is quite a place, this Stork Stop. I saw a bib back there that said I shizzled in my dizzle."

  Abby groaned.

  "I think I'll skip that one, but how cute is this?"

  She held up the onesie.

  Victor furrowed his brow and pretended to examine it carefully.

  "I'm not sure how realistic yellow elephants are."

  "It's for a baby. The goal is cute, not realistic."

  "You say that now, but have you seen the pink bunny pajamas in A Christmas Story? That kid was ruined for life."

  "I appreciate the clothing tips, but what are you doing here? It's an awfully long drive from Chicago to help me pick out baby clothes."

  A black look passed over Victor's features.

  "Buy this stuff and then we'll talk. I don't want to ruin your baby bliss."

  Outside the store, Victor steered Abby to his car.

  "There's a little coffee shop down the way. It looked pretty empty on my way here. Let's go there."

  "Milk and Honey," Abby told him. "Coffee and ice cream. My kind of place."

  Victor chuckled.

  "Always have food on the brain, don't you?"

  "Yes," she admitted. "But Milk and Honey is extra special because they have organic ice cream, so it's a guilt-free indulgence."

  "You're gonna need it," he mumbled.

  She gave him a questioning look, but he ignored her.

  At the coffee shop, Abby ordered a decaf coffee and espresso ice cream with caramel and brownie. Victor asked for three shots of espresso.

  They chose a table near the window, though they had little risk of being overhead. Other than the young woman scooping ice cream, the place was deserted.

  Victor pulled a notebook from his backpack. He laid it on the table and flipped to a series of drawings.

  Abby gasped and nearly dropped her ice cream.

  She looked at a familiar jut of tree-lined peninsula along the Lake Michigan shoreline. Standing at the water's edge, the sliver of moon shining overhead, stood Sebastian and Dafne. Dafne looked different. Thin, as if she'd been starved, but with wild magnetic eyes. Sebastian's eyes appeared wide and vacant. Dafne held an object in her hand. As Abby leaned closer, she recognized the jeweled dragon from the Vepar's ritual. The dragon that held a pulsing blade and a life of its own.

  "This is our peninsula," Abby whispered. "Sebastian said he wanted to hang a swing from that maple tree."

  "I thought it was," Victor agreed. "But I wasn't positive."

  "Is this real?"

  "I think so. It came to me in the night about four days ago. I woke up, feverish, and just started drawing. I didn't even look at it until yesterday and then when I realized what I was seeing, I came right away."

  "Her eyes are different." Abby pointed at the dark magnetic eyes staring from Dafne's face.

  "They're Kanti's eyes."

  ****

  "I don't think you and Sebastian should be alone right now."

  They had returned to Abby's car parked by the baby store. She stared at the snowflakes crystallizing on the side-view mirror. Beautiful and intricate, Mother Nature knew her stuff.

  "I love Sebastian. I have faith in him. He's not dark. Nothing could turn him into one of them, nothing."

  "I'm sure Dafne believed the same thing about Tobias."

  Abby glared at him, stung.

  "Sebastian could never be Tobias. You don't know him, Victor."

  She started to get out of the car, but Victor grabbed her arm.

  "Don't do that. Don't use anger at me to ignore what's happening. I know you're freaked out. I am too. But this," he tapped his notebook, "is real. If you play dumb, then you're doomed. We're all doomed."

  Abby bit her lip and fought a sudden urge to reach across the car and slap Victor. She took several deep breaths. She stared at the little white bag with pink tissue paper sticking from the top. The cashier at Stork Stop had even added a tiny plastic rattle to tie the bag closed. She thought of her baby girl and wanted to cry.

  Settling back into the car seat, she reluctantly nodded.

  "I know. I don't want to know, but I do."

  "So what else has been going on?"

  "Sometimes he disappears at night. Not often," she added quickly, wanting to soften the revelation. "Maybe once a week, twice at most. I'll wake up and he's not there. One night he came running into the room like something had spooked him. I was too groggy to question it, but I asked him about it the next morning."

  "And?"

  "And he said he went for a walk outside because he couldn't sleep. He thought he heard a noise in the house and ran back to check on me."

  "Did you believe him?"

  "I wanted to." She sighed. "But no, I didn't believe him."

  ****

  Abby returned to her car and pulled away from the curb. She needed to drive home. She needed to confront Sebastian, but her head had begun to ache. The throbbing traveled to her eyes and she shut them against the white glare of the sun on the snow. She drove onto the shoulder of the road and leaned her head back.

  The headache had come on suddenly and with it came a rush of nausea. Flinging open the car door, she barely got her head out before she threw up. Aching, her vision blurred, she pulled the door closed and reclined her seat. She had made it far enough into the country that few cars drove by. She could already feel her astral body trying to disengage. She closed her eyes and gave in to the pull.

  She stood in the cave. Her last two visits had called her to the Pool of Truth to reveal unknown death. She wanted to return to her physical body, but her astral body moved of its own volition. She drifted down the sloping tunnel, the slimy walls surrounding her with dense familiarity. She was not pulled to the Pool of Truth. Instead, she floated into the path that branched to the right. A yawning cavern opened before her and she saw the small shimmering puddle of blue water that had beckoned her previously. Remembering that splendid journey into the water, she knelt down and cupped the water in her hand. In a rush, it took her. She surged through the cave in the water, as the water, and burst into the night sky. She rained into the lake as a million particles of water and then reformed as a single entity. She bolted through the water, watching the fish and the seaweed, but searching for the cyclone that she knew to be there.

  It
appeared suddenly, swirling above a bed of rocks, thick with algae. She moved toward the tempest as an image gradually appeared.

  She saw a sleeping Dafne in a dungeon room cast in darkness. She lay curled in the fetal position with her black hair fanning out on the dirty mattress beneath her. Her already skinny body looked further emaciated. Bones showed through the skin of her face and chest.

  The door to the dungeon swung open and a hulking Tobias moved into the room. He glowered at the sleeping form and then leaned over her. Pushing the hair away from her neck, he leaned down and bit her. Abby saw the red of Dafne's blood on his white chin. He wiped it away and then stared at his fingers. He licked them clean and stood.

  Alva entered the room behind him. He held a syringe filled with a clear, luminous liquid.

  "She's growing weaker," Tobias told him. "Look at her back. There's barely an ounce of flesh left on her."

  Alva handed him the syringe.

  "Inject her. Kanti travels tonight."

  The image blurred and disappeared. Drawn back through time and space, Abby awoke in her car. The sunny day had grown overcast.

  Abby thought about her vision. She felt a hollow aching for Dafne. Her anger at the witch who had betrayed her and Sebastian still burned, but less as she realized the fate that had befallen her.

  Chapter 19

  "You must really miss me if you're pulling out the seashells," Oliver joked.

  His voice blasted out of the shell and Abby held it away from her ear, temporarily forgetting that it didn't work like a telephone.

  "Well I would have liked to use a cell phone, but Ula might as well be on Jupiter when it comes to cell service."

  "Yep, we prefer tin cans and string in these parts."

  "It's probably more effective than cell phones out there, but I have a reason for reaching out."

  "Other than a desperate need to hear my sultry man voice?"

  Sebastian glowered at her from the couch, but Abby only laughed. She had wanted to ask Sebastian about Victor's dreams, but the vision of Dafne had felt too important to not share with Ula immediately.