by Gerri Hill
A mistake. A huge incredible mistake.
But it wasn’t necessarily her mistake. No, Kate could try to blame her, and no doubt she would. But, hell, the fire between them was so strong, Lee knew she had to stop. She tried to pull away. Kate, Kate was the one. Kate took her hand, she put it . . . put it there, for God’s sake. What was she supposed to do? Tell Kate no? Tell her she didn’t want to touch her?
“Incredible.”
God, Kate was so amazing. So . . . so responsive, so ready for her. It would have been easier to stop breathing than to not go inside her. And no woman had ever screamed out like that from her touch. Never.
Lee sat up quickly, her heart pounding. She stood, paced, glanced up at the moon.
“This is all your fault,” she said to the moon. Another coyote sky. Had to take her up there, didn’t you?
And now what? Was Kate pissed? Was she hurt? Was she blaming herself or Lee?
“And there was nothing cheap about it,” Lee whispered. And God, I wanted her to touch me too.
Kate lay in bed, staring at the phone as it rang. It was Robin. Kate leaned her head back, her heart heavy with guilt as she answered.
“Hi, honey,” she managed.
“I thought it was about to go to voice mail,” Robin said. “Am I interrupting your writing?”
“No, no. Actually, I’m . . . I’m reading,” she lied.
“You never take the time to read. What’s wrong with you?”
“Nothing,” she said, her voice sharper than she intended. “Just a book Brenda gave me, about the local history.”
“Oh. Sounds terribly exciting,” Robin said sarcastically.
“I know you didn’t enjoy it here when you visited, Robin. But I do.”
“And for the life of me, I don’t know why. There’s nothing to do there, Kate. I’d go stark raving mad being there as long as you’ve been.”
Kate sighed. “I didn’t come up here to be entertained. I came up here to write.”
“Oh, I know, honey. That’s one reason I’m calling. Do you know when you’ll be coming back?”
“I haven’t really thought about it. Why?”
“Well, I’ve been invited to a weekend spa. It’s in mid- September. I won’t go if you think you’ll be back, of course.”
Kate frowned. “What kind of spa?”
“Oh, where they pamper you to death for two days. One of the girls from work is going. She invited me.”
Kate nodded. “Where is it?”
“Hot Springs.”
“Arkansas?”
Robin laughed. “Of course Arkansas. Do you know another
Hot Springs?”
Kate rubbed her eyes. Robin had no money. That was one reason she’d moved in with her in the first place. How in the world could she afford a weekend at a spa in Hot Springs? But, it was none of her business, she told herself. After what she’d done tonight, nothing was her business.
“Sounds like fun. You go ahead. I doubt I’ll be back by then. And if I am, you still go. I won’t mind.”
“Wonderful! It’ll be so much fun. Massages, manicures, pedicures, saunas, the works. Can you imagine how relaxing that’ll be?”
“I’m sure it will be.”
“Well, I better run. I’m having dinner with some friends.”
“Good. I’m glad you’re not staying in alone.”
“No. It’s been fine.”
“Good. Well, have fun.”
“ ’Bye, Kate.”
“ ’Bye,” Kate murmured, but the line had already gone dead. Strange. In fact, it was like they were just two friends. And not very good ones.
She was surprised when, a short time later, Brenda knocked on her door. She came inside, carrying two cups of hot tea.
“You’re trying to hide from me, darling,” Brenda said as she handed Kate a cup. “I don’t think I like it.”
“I’m not hiding. I’m just . . . well, hiding,” she finally said.
Brenda crawled onto the bed with her, crossing her moccasin- clad feet on top of the comforter. She fluffed the pillows behind her back, then took her tea.
“Comfortable?” Kate asked dryly.
“Yes. Now spill it, darling.”
“Spill what?”
“Start where you want. End with why you’re in bed this early without so much as a word to me.”
Kate rested her cup on her stomach, too embarrassed to tell Brenda what had happened. How in the world could she possibly tell anyone what had happened?
“Oh, darling, do I have to drag it out of you?”
Kate shook her head. “I can’t. It’s . . .”
“It’s Lee, no doubt,” Brenda said. “Did she kiss you again?”
“Oh, Brenda, please don’t make me tell you.”
“Katie, you’re hiding in this bed for a reason. And knowing you, it’s because you’re overcome with guilt.”
Kate groaned, turning her head away.
“So, I’ll take that as a yes. Now tell me what happened. Did you make out or something?”
Kate closed her eyes. “Or something,” she murmured.
“Oh my God! You slept with her?”
Kate shook her head. “I wouldn’t really call it that. Not really.”
“What does that mean?”
“I can’t tell you. Please, I just can’t. Like in the book, where you don’t want details, like that.”
Brenda sipped her tea, her eyes on Kate. “So, you were intimate in some way?”
Kate nodded.
“And now you feel guilty?”
“Extremely.”
“And Lee?”
“What about Lee?”
“How does she feel?”
Kate shrugged. “I don’t know. We didn’t talk. I made her bring me back here.”
Brenda patted her hand. “You think Lee is just playing with you, darling? As if you’re one of her young pickups?”
“Yes. That’s all it is. Because I guarantee you, at the next dinner party, she’ll have yet another young pickup with her.”
“Perhaps.”
“Perhaps? Perhaps? That’s all you’ve got for me?”
Brenda smiled. “Darling, I didn’t come in here to offer you words of advice. I just wanted to know what was going on.”
“Well, you’re a lot of help.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
Kate walked quietly up the steps, wondering why she’d allowed Brenda to talk her into coming. She wasn’t ready to face Lee, she really wasn’t. And if Lee had a date here, Kate wasn’t sure she could handle it.
“Will you quit fidgeting,” Brenda said again.
“I shouldn’t have come.”
“You have to face her sooner or later, darling,” Brenda said reasonably.
“I’m thinking later.”
Brenda grabbed her arm and squeezed. “I think it’s been good for you. I saw you writing away like crazy today.” She lowered her voice. “Perhaps you now know a thing or two about romance, darling.”
“You’re evil, Brenda. Evil.”
Brenda laughed. “Oh, lighten up, will you? So you were naughty? It’s not the end of the world.”
“I’m involved with someone! I have rules!”
“Oh, pooh.”
“Pooh? What is pooh?”
“Pooh is pooh,” Brenda said. She knocked once, then opened the door. Tonight, the Mamas and Papas were California dreaming and they both smiled. “I would love to see their music collection. Can you imagine, darling?”
But Kate didn’t answer, the smile fading from her face. Her eyes were drawn across the room. Lee was standing next to the sofa, talking quietly with a . . . God, a teenager. Kate shook her head, feeling sick to her stomach. No, she shouldn’t have come.
“Come, darling. We’ll get some wine.”
“No, I don’t feel like wine.”
Brenda pulled her away. “Before you jump to conclusions—”
“She’s a teenager!” Kate hissed. “Has she lost
her mind?”
“As I was saying,” Brenda started, then stopped, motioning with her head. “Why, Lee, so good to see you again.”
“Good evening, ladies.”
Lee was there before Kate could move away, but she refused to look at her. She stood mutely, her eyes drifting back toward the teen.
“I was about to get us some wine,” Brenda said. “I’ll get it,” Kate said quickly.
“No, no, darling. I’ll get it. I’ll be right back.”
Kate glared at her as she walked away, then finally looked at Lee.
“I think you need help,” Kate finally said. “Seriously.” Lee tilted her head. “Help?”
Kate nodded. “Psychiatric help.”
Lee laughed. “Why?”
“You’ve gone too far,” Kate said.
“Are you talking about me and you?”
“No!” Kate hissed. “I’m talking about her,” she said, pointing behind Lee. “She can’t be a day over fifteen. I can’t believe you!”
Lee turned. “Gwen?”
“Oh my God, she’s got a normal name. That’s a first.”
“Kate, before you go off, let me explain,” Lee said.
“It is really none of my business. God forbid you should go a few days without,” she murmured sarcastically as she turned away. But Lee grabbed her arm, pulling her back around.
“Gwen is the daughter of Meredith. They live in the valley. Meredith joins us once a month or so for dinner. Gwen is fourteen. Whenever Meredith travels—she’s a home nurse—we all kinda take turns looking after Gwen. I thought she might enjoy a night out. Sunshine has been teaching her to paint, much like Harmony helps Brenda,” Lee explained matter-of-factly.
Kate colored slightly, embarrassed for having assumed the young girl was Lee’s date.
“Well, I’m shocked then, that you’ve managed to come without a date.” Kate turned to walk away again, and again, Lee grabbed her arm and pulled her back around.
“Aren’t we going to talk about it, Kate?”
“What is there to talk about? I’m just another name you can add to your long list of . . . of conquests.”
“I know you don’t believe that.”
“And why not? You’re obviously good at seduction, God knows you’ve had years of practice.”
“Seduction?” Lee leaned closer. “If you think for one minute I don’t remember you taking my hand and placing it between your thighs, you are sadly mistaken.” She moved closer still, her eyes locked with Kate’s. “And as much as you wanted me to touch you—and I know you did—I wanted you to touch me more,” she whispered. “I was dying for you to touch me.”
Lee walked away, leaving Kate standing there, her pulse racing at Lee’s words. She looked around, hoping no one heard, no one saw. When Brenda came back, Kate took the wine, nearly downing the glass with one gulp. She felt Lee’s eyes on her, but she didn’t dare look her way.
“What did I miss? You look all shook up, darling.”
“Yes. Lee does that to me.”
“So, I guess she told you that Gwen wasn’t her date. I told you not to jump to conclusions.”
“Oh, Brenda, what am I going to do?”
“What are you talking about, darling?”
“Lee. I can’t stop thinking about it, about her. I can’t get it out of my mind.”
“It?”
Kate flicked her eyes at Brenda. “You know what I mean.”
“Why don’t you just talk to her about it?”
“I can’t talk to her. I can’t even be around her. I shouldn’t be around her. I just need to get over it, forget it ever happened. And when I return to Dallas, maybe things will get back to normal.”
“Normal? You mean with Robin?”
Kate shook her head. “I don’t know what I’m going to do with Robin. I’ll have to tell her what happened, of course.”
“Why on earth would you have to tell her?”
“Because it was wrong, is wrong. And I know you don’t understand, but I feel guilty as hell. I mean, what if she did something like that?”
“How do you know she’s not, darling?”
Kate sighed. “I know, and that’s not really even the point. The point is Lee. I mean, if this was someone else, someone who didn’t date a different woman every week, someone a little safer, then maybe, you know, I could see what happens, where it might go. But Brenda, this is Lee.”
“First of all, I wish I’d never told you about Lee’s dating habits. And secondly, it’s not someone safe you’re attracted to. It’s Lee.”
Kate glanced across the room, finding Lee sitting alone on the sofa. She was staring at the floor, looking at nothing. Kate wondered what she was thinking, wondered if, by chance, Lee might also have a hard time forgetting that night.
Chapter Twenty-Five
It had been nearly two weeks since the dinner party, two weeks since Kate had laid eyes on Lee. She’d stopped expecting her to come by. And she’d also declined Brenda’s invitation to the weekly dinner parties. Apparently, Lee had been skipping them as well.
But Kate was over it, she told herself. The book was cruising. She’d made it past the sex scene—Brenda loved it—and was nearly three-quarters of the way through. Her mind was clear and the words just flowed. She spent the better part of each day perched on the chaise lounge, writing hour after hour. She felt good about this book. Despite her reservations as to how it would be received, she was happy with it. And at this point, that was all she could hope for.
Unfortunately, she hadn’t settled on the ending. Do Jennifer and Jordan live happily ever after? Does Jennifer discover that she’s gay, but decides that Jordan is not the one for her? Kate was leaning that way. She wouldn’t have to continue with this romance nonsense that way, yet she could still let Jennifer out of the closet. And perhaps later, in another book, provided there was another book, she could allow Jennifer to meet someone else. Someone a little safer than Jordan.
Yes, the book was coming along. It was barely August. Surely she could have a good first draft by her deadline. By October. Just a couple of months away. She looked out at the cliffs, a sight that was so familiar to her now. She would miss it terribly when she left. Occasionally, she missed the things a city could offer, like going out to dinner, or having a pizza delivered, or going to the movies. But she didn’t miss the constant noise, the constant hum of the city. She’d gotten used to the quiet. And with the quiet came sounds she’d overlooked before. The gentle call of birds as they flitted about the piñon pines. The high-pitched whistle of the broad-tailed hummingbirds that fed at the flowers surrounding the deck. And the occasional scream of a golden eagle as it soared over the canyon. Sounds that had become expected as she worked. Sounds that mingled with smells. The smell of the piñon pines, the fragrance of the flowers when the wind blew, the smell of . . . home. She felt at home here. And she would hate to leave.
But as she sat there now, she smelled something out of place, something foreign. She frowned.
“Smoke?”
She got up, walking to the edge of the deck, looking out over the cliffs, but the sky was clear, only a few, puffy clouds scattered about, as it had been all summer. They’d not had a drop of rain— which Brenda said wasn’t unusual. But still, it didn’t feel overly dry, overly hot. Not like Dallas felt after a month or more without rain.
But the smoke worried her. Surely no one was burning brush. She had been to town enough to know that there was a burn ban in effect. There had been one all summer.
She stepped off the deck, taking the worn trail she and Brenda used to get to the upper canyon walls. But still, the sky was clear. She shrugged. Maybe she was imagining things.
When she walked back, Brenda was home, still unloading groceries from the car. Kate hurried to help.
“For such a pampered woman, you sure can grocery shop,” Kate said.
Brenda laughed. “I tell Sophia what we want to eat, she tells me what to buy. And actually, I find I enjoy
grocery shopping, darling. It’s just the cooking part I loathe.”
“You and me both.”
“Yes, I know. If it were left up to you and me, we’d be grilling out every night.”
Kate raised her eyebrows. “Speaking of grilling, I thought I smelled smoke earlier. Did you notice anything?”
“Oh, yes, darling. I nearly forgot. I heard about it while I was in town.” She handed Kate a bag. “Ice cream. Put that up for me, would you.”
“We eat entirely too much ice cream,” Kate said. “Shall we do steaks tonight?”
“Absolutely. But what about the smoke?”
“Oh, yes. There’s a forest fire, they say. Started over in the campgrounds in the San Pedro Peaks area. Such a shame, beautiful forests over there, they tell me. I was hoping Lee might take you there.”
“Is it close? Should we worry?”
“No, it’s on the other side of the river. We should be fine. But the ranchers, I’m sure they’re scrambling. Lee left yesterday, they said, so it apparently started then.”
“What do you mean Lee left?”
“Well, she’s helping out.”
“With the fire?” Kate paced. “Doesn’t the forest service have firefighters?”
“Of course, darling. But she went to help the Shrikers move their cattle.” Brenda shook her head. “They told me at the bakery that a lot of the other ranchers sent men over to help. They go up on horseback, practically to the fire’s edge, looking for cattle.”
“But why would there be cattle out there? Isn’t that national forest?”
“I don’t know all the specifics, darling, but I know the local ranchers lease the land for grazing.”
“But I don’t see why Lee had to go.”
Brenda took her hands. “She’s the county sheriff, darling. She can’t sit idly by during a crisis, now can she?”
“No, of course not.” Kate smiled. “And knowing Lee, she probably took along a date.”
“Oh, darling, don’t be silly.”
Kate walked out to the deck, looking at the sky, wondering where Lee was. Wondering if she was safe. And wondering why she even cared.
“Skip, we’re getting too close,” Lee said. She pulled the bandana higher over her nose, trying to keep out the smoke. She stopped her horse. The only movements they’d seen were elk and deer as they fled the fire. No cattle.