Caught in the Flames

by Kacey Shea

  Kiki nods with understanding, her hand still holding mine. The tears are really streaming now. Snot leaks from my nostrils despite my attempts to sniffle it back. But somehow Kiki’s open and inviting expression has me in full out confession mode. She’s getting it all.

  “He cheated on me! I walked in on them! He was cheating the entire time—”

  “It was that whore on Brookerson Avenue, wasn’t it?” Kiki interrupts. Her eyes narrow and she shakes her head with a scowl. “She’s always been a hose hussy, that one! Homewrecker.” I have no clue who Kiki’s referring to and I don’t bother correcting her because I don’t want to hash up Alicia’s involvement. Not with Jill standing at my side.

  Kiki continues to cuss and rant and it feels good to have her outrage. She’s on my team, in my corner, and I fall a little bit more in love with this woman. My tears slow and I use my shirt to wipe the dampness and snot from my face. It hits me that Kiki was outside when we came by and she’s usually not unless for the cat.

  “Is Silas out?”

  “Oh, no. He’s safe and fat inside.”

  “Were you outside getting some exercise, then?”

  “Oh, hell no. I leave that to you young girls. I let my figure go years ago. Best thing I ever did! No, I’m just doing a little gardening. Well, trying to get the motivation for it. I’ve really let things go around the place. Was thinking how nice it’d be to enjoy the yard again.”

  A little? This yard needs more love than a Marvin Gaye song.

  “I can help you,” I offer.

  “Oh, dear, that’s too kind. You don’t have to, though.”

  “But I want to. I like to garden, and the first time I went in your backyard I thought how beautiful it would be back there with a little pruning.” More like a month’s worth, but I don’t want to be rude. And what I just said earns me an ear to ear grin from Kiki. One I’ve never seen before.

  “Okay. When can you start?”

  “Now?” I look at Jill, who’s been uncannily silent through our entire visit. She nods, one corner of her mouth pulling up. “We were mostly done with our stroll, anyway.” I bite my lip as Jill rolls her eyes.

  “That’s perfect. I’ll meet you round back. I’ve already got the shed open, and all the tools you’ll need are there. Oh, Callie, you are the best.” She bustles up the drive and in the front door.

  I give a little chuckle and feel as though I’ve been set up, or fallen prey to a well laid trap. I don’t mind, though. The thought of gardening pulls at good memories from my childhood and scrapes away the fog I’ve been living beneath. The sun seems to shine a little brighter and I squint my eyes at the glare when I face Jill. “You can go if you want.”

  Jill drops her shades over her eyes. I can’t read her expression as she considers the job. At that moment the clouds in the sky break open further and the heat from the sun warms my skin.

  “Some people will do anything to get out of a good power walking session,” Jill teases and loops her arm through mine as we start up the drive. “I’m guessing this Kiki is good people?”

  “She reminds me of my aunt. But a much raunchier, tatted up version.”

  “She has tattoos?”

  “Ten of them! Though I’ve only seen seven. The other three are in places reserved for lovers’ eyes only. Her words, not mine.”

  “Good people.” Jill nods, and releases my arm as I give the gate a good shove with my hip. The hinges protest with a squeal as it opens. “Holy fu—”

  “Yeah. Like I said. You don’t have to help.” If possible the yard has gotten worse since the last time I was back here. It’s pretty much a solid foot deep of overgrowth. Grass, weeds, vines, and plants cover every square inch of this space.

  “Looks like you’re gonna need all the help you can get. I think you need me, Callie.” Jill sighs and we warily step toward the open shed door, careful to not trip along the way.

  “Yeah. I think I do.”

  I love hard work.

  The kind that requires sweat, muscle, and a lot of dirt. And after the month I’ve had—the kind where the world falls down with little regard for happiness and peace—I’m almost giddy with the joy of accomplishing something difficult.

  I’ve spent every evening and weekend in Kiki’s backyard for the past four weeks. Basically reviewed my prior social life of a gorgeous cheating boyfriend, a back stabbing best friend, and one not at all deceitful friend, and exchanged it all for a life of graphic design from home and gardening with a fat tabby and old woman in all the waking moments between.

  “Callie, come inside for a break, dear.”

  I push off my knees, brush the dirt from my old jeans, and discard my gloves outside the patio door. The kitchen smells decadent and my stomach rumbles. I glance at the clock on the wall while washing my hands and I’m surprised it’s after eleven already. I’ve been outside for three hours and it honestly felt like one.

  “Hungry? I made biscotti.”

  “Starved. It smells better than sex in here.”

  “It’s been years, but from what I remember this may be a close second.” She chuckles and brings over a plate of the Italian cookies and then two mugs of hot coffee. I reach for the mug but she pulls it away. “You’ve been drinking water out there? Can’t have my free labor passing out on the job. Not when you’re so close to being done.”

  “I’ve been hydrating. Promise. Now gimme, gimme.” I greedily motion for her to pass it on over. She does and I groan as the steaming liquid hits my taste buds.

  “It looks beautiful outside, Callie. My garden paradise has returned. Almost a shame winter will be here in a few months and cover it all back up.” Kiki gazes out the patio sliding door with one hand on her hip and the other wrapped around her own cup of coffee. Her brows knit and her eyes glaze over. Silas meows and circles between her legs in figure eights. He meows louder and Kiki scoops him up into her arms. “Sorry, boy, no outside playtime today.”

  “Yes, Silas, you find your way in a tree today and you’ll sit your fat ass there until I leave.” I used to think it weird to talk to animals. Still do, sort of. But when I’m over here it seems natural.

  Kiki plops him onto his favorite spot in the house—a deep window sill where the sun shines bright in the afternoon. It’s still early so he hops down immediately and brushes past us with the attitude and air only a well fed tabby possesses.

  “I was thinking of stopping by the nursery after I finish today. The space by the work shed could use a little color. I don’t really know what to plant over there, though. It gets lots of sun.”

  Kiki pulls the chair out opposite me and picks up one of the remaining cookies to munch. “You don’t have to make more work for yourself, dear. What you’ve done is much more than I ever expected. It’s beautiful.”

  “I like to garden. And now that the weeds are out of the way, it lacks color, don’t you think?”

  “You already know I love flowers. Maybe I should get that shed repainted first, though? I didn’t realize how worn the paint is, hiding under the vines.”

  “That’s a good idea. I’ll pick up some paint, too. I can start that tomorrow.”

  “That’s fine, dear, but shouldn’t you have plans with your friends? It’s been a while since you’ve taken a day off. I think it’s time.” She pats my arm and I try not to let the scowl twist my features as I huff my reply.

  “I’m not planning to see my friends.”

  “You’re a stubborn little thing, aren’t you?” Kiki smirks that all knowing grin.

  “I am when it’s important.”

  “Don’t you think it’s time to forgive her?” We both know the her to which she’s speaking. Alicia. She drew the full story out of me weeks ago. I’m surprised she doesn’t freelance for local law enforcement.

  “Kiki, what she did to me is unforgivable.”

  “Nothing is unforgivable,” she chides.

  “I disagree,” I snap.

  “Don’t you miss her, dear? And what ab
out your other friend. The three of you were peas in a pod. The three musketeers. Will you throw that all away over a boy who was never worth either of your attention?”

  “I do miss her, Kiki.” I consider my coffee and the mess that has become my life. I miss my friendship with Alicia. I miss the three of us together. I even miss Jill. She tries to keep the peace and spend time with us both. I know that’s not easy, and lately she’s been spending more and more time with Alicia. “I want to go back. Back to before this happened. But how do I move past it? I can’t just swallow a magic pill and poof my best friend didn’t betray me.”

  “Has she asked for forgiveness?”

  I bite my lip and set down the biscotti I was about to devour. I push the plate away because my appetite is stolen by her question. I don’t want to share the answer. Because then I suspect Kiki will tell me what Jill told me: that I’m the one in the wrong. I almost don’t answer but Kiki’s motherly pat on my arm draws the words from my mouth.

  “Yes. She’s called or emailed or texted every day since that night. I don’t read them but I know from Jill that she’s sorry. That she feels bad.” Bad is an understatement. From what Jill’s eluded, it’s completely eating her alive.

  “And what about the captain?”

  “Chase?”

  “Yes, Chase. Has he asked forgiveness?” Her throaty voice is a punch to my gut.

  “No. He’s never contacted me.”

  “Don’t you think it’s interesting that he gave up so easily? And your friend, the girl who loves you like a sister hasn’t stopped begging for your attention? I’m not saying forget. I’m not even saying forgive her, or that it’ll be easy. But don’t you think she’s earned the chance to ask? Can you really have closure without hearing her out?” Her eyes plead and shimmer in the light as they fill with unshed tears. Her obvious conviction that I need to hear out Alicia picks at the emotion I work hard to conceal.

  “Yes. She has. I’m not angry anymore. I’m just—” My chin trembles and wetness falls from where my lashes blink. I sniffle and try to explain but I’m fighting the sobs that want to escape. Kiki rises, her chair scrapes along the tile floor, and she moves to wrap me in her arms. It’s then that I give in and let my tears fall freely.

  “I know, Callie. It hurts.”

  I nod into her side. She pats my head. I know she’s right. I need to talk to Alicia. I’m not sure I can forgive her. Things won’t go back to the easy way it was between us, but I can’t not try. I can’t leave it all open, not if I ever want to move on. And I do. I swallow hard and pull out of Kiki’s embrace to wipe at my face.

  “I’ll call her tonight. You’re right.”

  “Of course I’m right.” Kiki grins through tears of her own. I don’t know why it’s comforting but it is. That she feels my pain as though it’s her own. That I’m more than just free labor and a needy neighbor. That regardless of our age difference, we’re friends.

  “Well, I better get back to work. I want to trim the bushes at the fence line. They’re a big project and I’ve been putting them off.”

  “Yes, I hate those things. They have thorns so be careful, and wear gloves. My husband insisted on planting those. Said they’d help keep out unwanted guests. Animals and people, but I always said they did us more harm than good. They got him good every time he cut them back. Never let me do that job, though. Said he didn’t want to cause me any pain; he’d take it all.”

  “Sweet man, your husband.”

  “The best.” She opens the sliding door for me and I walk across the threshold. “You find one of those, the kind who takes all the pain so you don’t have to go it alone. That’s the man you hold on to something fierce. That’s the best kind. The one you want.”

  “I don’t want anything to do with men right now, Kiki.” I slide my gloves over my fingers and tighten my hair tie with a tug before blowing out a frustrated breath.

  “Not now, but you will. And that fire captain? He taught you exactly who to steer clear of. You won’t date another one like him again.”

  “An asshole,” I mutter, and pinch my lips into a strained smile.

  “No, a man who clouds his selfish nature with charm.”

  I nod, turn down the deck steps and over the now clear pathway of stone bricks to the back fence line. I stop at the shed to grab the empty trash bin and large clippers. She’s right about one thing. I’m never dating a man like Chase again. No more selfish assholes. No more firemen. No more chocolate eyes. Soft brown hair. Tan skin. Muscles. Tattoos. None of it.

  Done. Over it. Find me a bald anorexic albino with ice blue eyes, nine-to-five career, and heart of gold. I’ll be all over that shit.

  “Son of a—” Fuck. These bushes are no joke. I’ve been at this for hours. And thank the Lord I left this for better weather. Late September heat is warm but not unforgiving and there’s only slight humidity in the afternoon air. Kiki’s the best, alternating trips outside to bring me water and then coffee so I don’t stop working. My arms are scraped to hell but I’ve only got four full-fledged cuts. Pretty good for the ten yards of space I’ve cleared.

  I cut the last bush and haul the waste to the front curb, adding it to the growing pile of debris. I texted Jill and asked her to play intermediary and set up a breakfast date tomorrow with Alicia. She was enthusiastic, well, that is if the hearts and hand clap emojis she used to respond accurately showcase her joy. And I feel lighter, happier, satisfied knowing I’ve made the right move. Forgiveness isn’t easy, but the thought of seeing both my girls tomorrow brings a peace over my ever racing heart.

  I’m replacing the tools in the work shed when the harsh blare of sirens fills the quiet day. Anxiety rolls over me and my breath catches in my throat. Fuck, I hate that sound. I hate my instant uneasy reaction. Add it to the hundred other tastes, smells, sounds, words, phrases, and life experiences Chase soured for me.

  Unhurriedly, I step outside the shed and gather my gloves, a rake, and a shovel. The sirens grow louder and an even more alarmed meow screeches above my head. Silas. I glance up and see he’s wedged himself in the oak again. Fucker.

  “I’m sorry, Callie,” Kiki calls from the back deck and that’s when I notice the phone in her hand.

  No.

  She wouldn’t!

  Meow. Damn it. She would.

  “Kiki, no! How could you!” I shout.

  “I need to get Silas down.” She carefully steps down the deck to where I stand in complete confusion. Should I run? Hide? The sirens grow louder. I’m not sure I can make it to my car before they arrive but I’m willing to try.

  “Call them back! Tell them he’s fine. I’ll get Silas down myself. Where’s the ladder?” Panic fills my limbs and I can’t move. Kiki stands before me with a frown.

  “It’ll be fine, Callie. Let the good firemen get Silas down.”

  “What if Chase shows up? I can’t see him!” I scream.

  “Why not?”

  “He hurt me, Kiki. He crushed something inside and I don’t want him to have the satisfaction of seeing me broken.” I’m whining but I don’t care. It’s true.

  “Look here, Callie.” Her scratchy voice is hard. “If that man walks through my gate to get the damn cat outta the tree, you will look him square in the eye, head held high, with fire shooting so fierce from your gaze he will cover his balls just from glancing in your direction. You got that?”

  Damn. I straighten my stance and grow a little taller. Protective Kiki is scary as shit. “I think I do.”

  “Good girl. Now be a dear and trim back that azalea? It looks a bit overgrown from here.” I glance to where she’s pointing. A bit? I haven’t touched those bushes yet. That’s more a full day job. I really should have this woman’s eyesight checked.

  “Mrs. Callahan.” Troy’s voice carries from near the gate.

  I inhale. Channel my fiercest dragon bitch face and turn to find him and a guy I’ve never met before. My expression is already in place so I give them both the look. Seems a wast
e to not.

  “Callie.” Troy averts his eyes. Good. It works. I direct the rest of my energy at new guy. He just cocks his head.

  “Hi, I’m Ash.” I can faintly hear Kiki pointing out Silas’ whereabouts to Troy, but I’m busy having a stare down with Ash. My dragon bitch glare seemingly isn’t working as his lips quirk up at the corners. His hazel brown eyes glint with humor from under the bill of his ball cap.

  “Ash?” I snort. I’m not proud, but it’s what I do. Crossing my arms under my chest I jut out my chin. “What’s that? Some clever firefighter nickname?”

  “No. Actually, it’s my name.”

  “Short for?”

  He taps his heel a few times and glances around the yard.

  “Ashley,” he mutters under his breath.

  “Ashley. Ashley!” I scoff. “Kinda sounds like a girl’s name. Your parents’ OB read the ultrasound wrong and plan for a girl or something?” I’m being rude but I can’t help it. It feels good to not pretend or try to be nice.

  “It’s a family name,” he explains, and runs his hands over the bill of his county issued Fire ball cap, bending it a bit. That’s when I notice the tattoos on his forearm. Intricate black and gray ink sprawls into patterns, words, and images that beg to be traced. Fuck. No more. He’s everything I hate.

  “Oh. It’s nice,” I say sweet enough that honey almost drips from my sarcasm.

  And apparently that’s funny. His loud, deep laughter draws Troy and Kiki’s attention our way. Troy scowls. “Ash. The ladder.”

  “On it,” Ash calls back. I don’t move. He stares at me with a grin.

  “You gonna tell me your name?”

  I roll my eyes and turn on my heel. “Callie,” I call over my shoulder. I don’t wait to hear his reply. I march inside Kiki’s kitchen to get a glass of water. Or coffee. Maybe something stronger. A woman like Kiki must have hard liquor stashed somewhere in this house.