Caught in the Flames

by Kacey Shea

  “Is it okay if I hold her hand?” I ask because honestly I don’t know. Her chest rises and falls with the help of the machine. Tubes come out of her mouth and nose. IVs down her arms. I don’t want to hurt her.

  He nods. “Yeah, just be gentle. I’ll give you some time with her.” Chase steps outside the glass door and leans against the wall, folding his arms over his chest.

  I hold Kiki’s hand. The rhythmic whoosh and beeps of the machines settle my racing heart to the point where I find my voice again. “What happened? Huh?” I clear my throat. “You were only supposed to be selling erotic flowers, not burning down the library.”

  Her eye lids, closed, don’t move, not even a little. Her face looks so strange. The skin hangs limp and loose from her cheekbones. She’s always smiling or talking. This body, this person here, is nothing like the Kiki I know.

  “Hey, I know this is hard. I know you’re tired, and you’ve been through a lot today. But, please, if you can hear me, Kiki, I need you to stay a little longer. How can I do life without our chats? Who else will tell it to me straight when I’m in a funk?”

  I sniffle to hold back any tears from falling. I run my fingers along the latest tattoo on her forearm and trace the lines of the ink. “And I worked really hard on the yard. You have to be there when spring comes to see the butterflies return.” I swallow against the parched taste in my mouth.

  I don’t expect a response from her but I hope for one all the same. But if there’s any possibility that she knows I’m here with her, I’ll stay all night. Muffled voices grow in volume from outside the door but my focus stays with Kiki and the even rise and fall of her chest.

  The door pushes open and several doctors step inside with Chase. “Callie, they need to run an evaluation. You can sit with her as soon as they’re done,” he says kindly and I nod.

  “I’ll go get some coffee and come back in a few.”

  “Should only take us about fifteen minutes. There’s a complimentary coffee station at the end of the hall. Just make a left outside the door,” one of the men dressed in blue scrubs offers.

  “Thank you,” I say and although I’m reluctant to let go of her hand, I’m happy to see the staff working to help her heal. I step outside the room and turn left. Cam marches my way with a deep frown in place of his normally carefree grin.

  “Cam,” I say when he stops walking to block my path.

  “What’s with Jill? You both belong in some “fucking over your men” club. ’Cause I’m getting real tired of being on the receiving end of the shit you two pull.” His words are full of venom and it takes me aback.

  “What are you talking about?”

  “First, you act like you’re head over heels for my brother, yet when he tells you how sorry he is, how much of a mistake he made, you won’t even give him another chance. Why? Because you’re too busy fucking Ashley and God knows who else.” He punctuates his words by pointing his index finger and my body thrums with irritation. How dare he? He knows nothing about what happened.

  “I’m not with Ash.” I practically spit the words out. “And your brother was a horrible boyfriend. I’ve only ever been honest with him. Something I never got in return.”

  “Yeah. Whatever. Tell your friend to call me when she feels like it. Or not.” He tries to brush by but I block his way.

  “Why don’t you call her yourself?”

  “I did. She said she couldn’t come by. Whatever the fuck that means. You need to move. I need to speak with the doctors.” He blows out a breath and rubs his hands over his shaved head. For once I sort of feel bad for him. Jill doesn’t make a good girlfriend, and she hates hospitals, so it doesn’t surprise me she opted out of a visit.

  “Hey,” I say and reach out my hand to touch his forearm. “I know this can’t be easy, but despite the past, the strained relationship you had with your father . . . Kiki is a good person. Please do everything you can to give her a chance to survive this? Please.”

  Cam’s gaze hardens and he pulls out of my reach. Ignoring my pleas, he stomps the rest of the way to Kiki’s room. I’m trying to be compassionate, understanding even, but it’s infuriating that Cam and Tiff are the ones in charge of Kiki’s medical decisions. My anger simmers, steadily heating to a boil. Sadness and hurt repurpose and add fuel to my rage.

  Dammit, Kiki. Why didn’t you ever tell me about your family?

  The hallway feels too small a space. I need something, anything to make this day feel real again. My legs move and I take long strides in search of the one thing I know will calm my shaking nerves.

  I hate Chase’s fucked up family.

  After my run in with Cam, I’m relieved to pass the waiting room and not find any trace of Tiff and her permanent bitch face. I’m desperate for some space—and coffee. I find the little self-serve barista set-up near the larger waiting room. I don’t know why but I brew two cups. One is for me and the other . . . ? Part of me hopes Kiki will wake up any second. She’s as much an addict as I am and she’ll surely be jonesing for a cup after the day she’s had. I want to take care of her.

  And I will. I don’t care that Cam and Tiff are legally her next of kin. There’s no way in hell I’ll let them near Kiki after she’s released from the hospital. I’m lucky to have a job where I can work from home. I’m thankful I only moved one load of personal items over to my house because I spent most of my day cleaning and not unpacking. It’ll be easier to move back to Kiki’s. We’ll go back to being roommates. At least get her through the winter months.

  “I don’t know what your game is, but you better believe I’ll make your life a living hell if you don’t take your gold-digging, hose-chasing ass out of this hospital tonight.” Tiff’s voice interrupts my thoughts and I finish dumping sugar into Kiki’s cup before I lift my chin to meet her narrow glare.

  “I’m here for Kiki. I’m not leaving.”

  She steps closer and with her heels and extra height she looks down her nose to seethe, “Leave, bitch.”

  “What’s your problem?” I’m shorter but I’m tired of Tiff and her shit don’t stink attitude. I straighten my spine and set the coffees back on the counter so I’m ready if she tries to fight dirty. I’ve never been in any sort of scuffle, but I don’t trust her and wouldn’t put hair pulling past this woman.

  “You. And that old hag in there. She deserves to die for what she did to me and my family.” Her lips pull into a line as hard as her stare.

  “Right! Because you’re the victim here.” I roll my eyes.

  “You want Chase but you’ll never have him. He’s mine,” she warns.

  “I don’t want that self-absorbed asshat and I told him that to his face, but you can’t have him either. He’s your brother. That’s not legal. At least not in this state.”

  “He’s not my brother. He’s my stepbrother. We wouldn’t even be related if your precious Kiki hadn’t stolen my father for herself! Then my mother would have never married Chase’s dad, and we could have been together. She ruined everything in my life, and she’s ruining my future, too.”

  “You psychotic wench! She didn’t steal your father! She loved him. And he loved her. But he was fully prepared to stay with your mother until he found her cheating with Chase’s dad. She told me she always suspected your stepdad was your real father anyway. Wouldn’t that be crazy? That’d make you and Chase siblings by blood, not marriage.”

  “Liar!” she spits back, but her eyes widen with alarm. Good.

  “Why would I lie about this? Kiki told me herself, and what reason would she have to do so?”

  “Because she’s every bit the hose chaser you are. I hope she dies, you know that? Then maybe I’ll get something out of her life. I hope there’s a big fat inheritance coming my way. But you . . .” Tiff takes a step closer and pokes one manicured nail into my chest. It hurts. Her nail digs into my skin, but I hold my ground as she continues to rant. “You don’t give up easily, I’ll give you that. You and your friend dug your own graves at the bar.
I just gave your slutty friend a little help,” she boasts with a vindictive laugh.

  “Wait? What do you mean?”

  Her lips pull wide into a Cheshire grin. “Not much. One roofied drink and a little encouragement and she was all over Chase. Easy.”

  I gasp. “You drugged Alicia!”

  “That should’ve been enough to get rid of you. I don’t know why he’s so obsessed with you. You’re nothing special. He and I were so close to finally getting together before you came along. You messed up the years of work I put into him. I couldn’t just stand by and watch.

  “I thought for sure the fire would get you out of the neighborhood. I almost hoped you would die that day. He would have been crushed, but then I would’ve been there to comfort him.”

  Holy fuck. She did it. Tiff set my house on fire. She’s the reason Alicia went to rehab. She’s the reason Chase and I broke up. She fucking tried to burn me alive! I step back to put space between us and shake my head.

  “You are evil.” I let the words strike from my lips but her smile only grows.

  “Tiff, that’s enough.” Chase’s voice breaks through our conversation. He narrows his gaze and lifts his chin. “Cam needs to talk to you.”

  “Chase, I—she—”

  “Go find Cam.” She turns away, head down as she drags her feet down the hall.

  I pick up the coffee cups and turn to head back to find Kiki.

  “Callie, stop. Please don’t . . .” Chase tries to reach for me but I jerk away from his touch, almost sloshing the hot liquid out of the cups. He raises his hand and steps back.

  “What? Please don’t what?” I say with a glare.

  Chase’s eyes plead with mine. His gaze flicks to Tiff and he shuffles his weight from one foot and to the other. “Just please don’t say anything.”

  “Did you know she set the fire?”

  “I didn’t know for certain . . .” He glances over each shoulder before meeting my eyes.

  “But you suspected? And you didn’t say anything?” I shake my head. Unbelievable.

  “Look, it was my fault. I know how obsessed she gets. I shouldn’t have mentioned you as much as I did. Once I stopped I knew she’d back off. Just don’t say anything, okay? Our relationship is complicated, but I can’t have anyone at the station find out or I’ll lose my job.”

  “I don’t have time for this. What you do or don’t do with your sister—” I blow out a breath to pacify my building anger and he mutters “step-sister.” I want to roll my eyes because that makes no difference in my book.

  “I don’t give a crap, but the woman in the other room, down the hall . . .she’s fighting for her life right now and she needs me. You two don’t have to worry about your little secret, at least not from me. You deserve each other.” I don’t wait for a response, but grab the two cups of coffee and march out of the tiny waiting area.

  My outrage deflates with each step closer I come to Kiki’s room. Careful not to spill either cup, I ease the door open barely enough to slip inside. A soft, familiar deep voice carries just above the rhythmic beep of the machines and whoosh of the ventilator. Ash, in his wheelchair with his left leg extended and wrapped in a splint, murmurs to Kiki while holding one of her hands. He steals my breath. His strength shines through his battered body and scraped face. Even in his hospital gown his arms exude power next to her frail form. His gaze is locked on her face and I step a little closer to listen to his words.

  “I’m sorry. I should’ve done better. I should’ve gotten there sooner. I should’ve saved you. I came for you. You know that?” He pauses, the machinery the only sounds in the room. His shoulders shake. He’s crying. I almost go to him but his next words hold me in place.

  “I was selfish. I put everyone at risk and I’m lucky no one else was hurt, pulling us from the blaze. I’d do it again, though. I went back for you, Kiki. I did it for Callie. Because I couldn’t bear to tell her that you died. I didn’t want to deliver that kind of pain. She loves you so much. So listen, I need you to fight. I need you to pull through. You’re a feisty woman. I know you can do it. Do it for me. Do it for Callie.

  “Because I’d do anything for her. I’d run to the ends of the earth for her smile. I’d fight a thousand fires to keep her pain away. And I’ll sit on the sidelines and watch her spend the rest of her life with Chase—watch her give him all the best of her if that’s what brings her happiness. I’d give her everything, even if I get nothing in return, because the way I love her—it goes beyond my own needs, desires, wants. She’s my everything. I’d have died in that fire saving you, Kiki. If I could, I’d sacrifice my life for yours and do it all over if that’s what it took. But I can’t. So you have to fight. You hear me? You fight. Fight—”

  He falls forward, head cradled in his own hands, and his back heaves with each loud sob. I walk to him, not willing to let him suffer through this alone, and wrap my arms around his back. He stiffens at first, but I hold him tighter, bending over to lay my head along his shoulder. His pain mixes with mine and his body relaxes as we both cry silent tears. Tears for our friend. Tears of fear that she’s leaving us too soon.

  I hate how time flies.

  Ash and I keep watch over Kiki all through the evening and late into the night. The minutes both drag and race, but Ash is with me through it all. Chase and Cam come in after midnight to let us know they’re heading home to sleep. They both look like shit, and I’m sure I’m no beauty queen, but the day has taken its toll and I don’t blame them for leaving. They have no relationship with Kiki. Not the way I do.

  A nurse stops by to issue Ash his discharge papers because all his tests come back clear. The fibula on his left leg is broken, but his doctor doesn’t recommend surgery at this point. They give him strict orders to keep his leg in the splint, elevated when possible, and make him promise to follow up with an orthopedic surgeon in the next few days. His face fills with relief when they trade him a pair of crutches for the wheelchair.

  Neither of us can sleep. Instead we stay up to trade stories of Kiki and her crazy antics. I don’t know if it’s the sleep deprivation, the stress of the day, or maybe it’s real, but I sense Kiki’s presence in the room. Her joy, her humor, her positive energy—it ignores the beeping of the machines, the sickness in this place, and it settles over me. It’s a peaceful comfort while I talk with Ash. We’ve taken up posts at each side of the bed. Ash holds her right hand and I hold her left.

  “No! I can’t believe that.” He shakes his head at my comment while his lips pull up at the edges with a smirk.

  “It’s true! She has a tattoo on her ass! I wouldn’t make this stuff up!” I giggle and Ash finally smiles wide.

  “What’s the tattoo?”

  “A pair of lips.”

  “No!”

  “It’s true!” Another giggle escapes at remembering her telling me the story. “She got it after she broke up with some French dude. So she could tell him to kiss her ass.”

  Ash’s laughter fills the room and the sound sends warmth all over my skin. “She’s like none other,” he quips but the words themselves hold sadness. She really is like no one else. And maybe I should be satisfied that I’ve had so much time with her, to get to know the person she is and was, but I’m selfish. I can’t help but feel she has so much more to say, to share with me.

  “What happened? With the fire?” I’ve been wondering, and I hope Ash will explain.

  He doesn’t meet my gaze. Instead, he trains his eyes on where his hand clasps Kiki’s frail palm. “Just another call. Fire. It’s what we do. Get called out. But this fire was a fucking mess. Dispatch was calling in backup before we even arrived on site. Chase took lead until Cam got there, directing us where to go. The building torched fast. But our first concern was getting everyone out. With the two stories, so many people, and all those craft booths set up on both levels . . .” He blows out a breath and shakes his head, pinches his eyes shut.

  “I’m sorry. You don’t have to . . . I don’t wa
nt to make you relive that.”

  He nods and I understand he’s not ready or willing to recount the experience.

  “She was still there. I could feel it.” His words fall in a soft whisper and I lean close, over the hospital bed to hear them. “We were called to exit the building. The stability of the structure was threatened. I left Chase. I had to search for her. And that damn cat. When he ran past, I just knew . . .”

  “You were brave.” His gaze snaps to mine.

  “No. I was stupid, but I’d do it again. I just wish . . .”

  “What do you wish?”

  “That I’d gotten there quicker. That the building held together a few more minutes. That I didn’t get knocked to the ground by that beam. That they hadn’t stuck her booth in the back of the second floor.”

  “Ash, don’t do this to yourself. You did everything you could.”

  “I hope you know that I did.” His eyes shimmer under the fluorescent lights and his voice is rough. His Adam’s apple bobs beneath the skin of his throat. He’s the most beautiful man I’ve ever known.

  The machine attached to the wall, the one that’s been steadily beeping, stutters and wails, a shrill interruption to our conversation. Kiki lays there, just as she was, and I glance up at Ash. He pushes himself up and off the chair, steadying his body with the crutches.

  “Ash, what’s happening?” I stand, too, and panic roars up my belly.

  The door swings wide and two staff members rush inside. One nods at us and then bustles to Kiki’s side, dragging her stethoscope off her neck. The other woman speaks to us in a calm but firm tone. “I need you both to come with me, out to the waiting area.” She reaches for my shoulder to pull me away from Kiki.