CHEAT (Right Men Series Book 3)

by Mayra Statham

  “I’ll be right back.”

  “Wait, what? Garrett.” He let his hands fall to his side.

  “Close your eyes and just sit. I’ll be right back, I promise.”

  “If you tell me to open my mouth with my eyes closed, you gotta know right now, soldier, I’m not falling for that one again.” I chuckled.

  “Hey, you liked that last surprise.” Arousal ran through me at the thought, and I licked my lips.

  We had played the weekend before. Garrett blindfolded me before having me please him, and even though I’d been the one on my knees, it had left me feeling utterly powerful and feminine. I wouldn’t mind a repeat. But then again, I liked everything Garrett and I did.

  “Whatever,” I mumbled before closing my eyes, feeling the heat on my face.

  Before long, I heard him walk back into the room. His scent mixed with mine and changed the dynamic of the air. It was cozy and made me feel safe. Happy.

  The bed dipped beside me. His large, strong body pressed against mine. Garrett’s big hand rested on my shoulder. I rested my head on his bicep and loved how I fit there. Like his bulky, strong, and warm muscle had been sculpted to serve as a pillow for my head to find comfort in after a long day.

  “Can I open my eyes now?” I asked smiling.

  “In a second. Keep them closed and give me your hand.”

  “Hmm, this is sounding rather familiar…”

  “So sassy,” he whispered.

  “You like it.” But my voice faltered when he slipped something flat and cool into the palm of my hands.

  “Open ‘em,” Garrett’s voice rumbled above my head before I felt a kiss on top of my hair.

  I looked up at him. He was waiting, staring at me expectantly, so my gaze slid down to my hand. A soft gasp escaped me.

  A charm.

  Not just any charm, but a gold flat saguaro cactus-shaped charm attached to a dainty, delicate gold chain.

  “What? Why?” was all I could sputter out as I stared at the pretty and unique gift in my hand.

  “Made me think of you.”

  “Because I live in the desert?” I joked. My smirk melted away when our eyes connected and I took in the way he was looking back at me.

  “Because you’re resilient as hell.” He blew me away with the confidence in his voice, like he believed what he was saying as much as he believed the sky was blue and one plus one made two. “The way you were brought up, against all the odds, you still found a way to smile and make those around you smile.”

  “Baby.” But I couldn’t say anything else because he placed a gentle finger on my lips.

  “Because no matter what is put in front of you, I’ll always bet on you for the win. Because you’re tough.”

  “Tough, huh?” I mumbled. “Be still, my heart,” I teased, trying to lighten the mood, but he didn’t let me.

  “Because as cheesy as this is gonna make me sound, sunshine, out of everyone in my life, you’re the only one I wanna be stuck with.”

  “Shakespeare had nothing on you, soldier,” I whispered as I leaned closer. His lips touched mine lightly.

  “You’re mine, Stefanie Banks.” Moving me slightly, he brushed my hair off to one side and placed the necklace around my neck. “We stick together, yeah? Good or bad, thick and thin,” he whispered against my temple. I touched the charm with the pads of my fingers. “You balance me, baby. I’m that cactus, a straight-up prick, but you’re my sunshine. Bursting your light where only darkness existed.” I turned, my mouth open, but I quickly shut and muffled a little yelp when he shifted us, so I could straddle him.

  “Do you get what I’m saying to you?” he questioned seriously, and I bit my lip.

  “I love you, too,” I whispered, not afraid of saying the words, and saw the way his gaze flared up with so much emotion. For a moment, he opened his mouth and closed it until he shook his head.

  “I exist because of you,” he rumbled hoarsely, so much passion and emotion in his voice and in his eyes, I couldn’t help it.

  Holding his face in my hands, his thick, soft beard beneath my fingertips, I touched my lips to his and was gone. He had no idea how his words affected me. How they made me helpless to surrender to him and everything he was because he owned me.

  I was nothing but his to own. His to do what he wanted. And lucky for me, he wanted to get sweaty and dirty and give me lots of orgasms.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Garrett

  Explosions.

  Heat.

  The scent of copper filled the suffocating desert air.

  He had woken up to all of it. Sweat dripped down his back to the memories of what a hell hole the sand box had been.

  So many fucking memories, and he couldn’t shake them off.

  Memories of the past that interweaved and mixed with his life now. Beside the bodies of his brothers-in-arms had been his family. His girl. All soulless. Dead. The sight was too much for him to handle.

  Stefanie’s back was to him, and he couldn’t get himself to reach for her. To wake her and talk to her. He knew she would help. She would do anything to keep all the shit in his head at bay. Fuck. Garrett hadn’t had a nightmare in what felt like forever, and he sat up on the edge of the bed.

  He felt like screaming.

  Anything to take away the terror and anxiety that were swirling in the pit of his stomach, swirling with fear in the back of his throat.

  Guilt churned inside of him.

  You’re alive. Marc’s voice played in the back of his head, and he couldn’t get it out. He was. But for what and why. Why had his life been more important than his Army brothers’?

  In a cloud of despair, he stood, and by the time he took the few steps to get to the living room, everything was just more. His frayed nerves intensified, the memories becoming more vivid. Being in the desert, the dry heat, the fucking sand that was everywhere, no matter how hard you tried to keep it off you.

  Jesus Christ, he couldn’t breathe.

  He was suffocating on the memories.

  Sand and wind. Temperatures so hot and so dry, you could have sworn it was what hell was supposed to be. Hell on earth because there was never any kind of relief.

  He had survived.

  Him.

  Not his brothers.

  Not the ones with kids and families.

  Not the ones who had had his back. Why hadn’t he had theirs?

  Why didn’t I die that day with everyone else?

  His vision blurred as dizziness hit him. Jesus, he wanted to puke his guts out. The sight of his friend Lt. Riggs on the floor next to a dismembered Bryan had been too much. So much fucking blood! Everything around him turned a deep blood red as the memories of his past flashed before his eyes one after another. Limbs. Pieces of his buddies everywhere.

  His buddies. Jesus Christ. His buddies were all gone. One moment they had been joking and laughing, making plans for the next time they were stateside, and the next they were just gone. The only sound being the unnerving buzz left in his own ears after the explosion that filtered through as silence took over. So much fucking silence.

  He held on to the wall in the hallway so he wouldn’t drown in the memories and fall to his knees with grief. He was somewhat aware of making it to the living room, but he wasn’t sure. His nightmare had been too real. He could swear he could smell copper and dirt and explosives. The scent clung to the air right then and there, just like it had that day. He could feel his brothers’ blood seeping through his hands. Thick and warm.

  Without thinking, he picked up a vase. One moment it was in his hand, and the next he heard it smash against a wall. Object after object crashed to its demise, but he needed more. He needed to pound something.

  In an anger-fueled rage, his fist went through drywall. Once. Twice. Three times.

  In the recesses of his mind he felt the pain that radiated through him as his blood smeared across the bright, cheery yellow walls. Cheery walls he didn’t deserve. He didn’t need cheery. He wa
s better off when he shut himself down and controlled shit. He didn’t deserve to be breathing. Not when all he could see were the soulless eyes of his fallen brothers.

  Blood was rushing through his body, adrenaline tapering off his hearing as he turned and picked up the coffee table, slamming it back down. The sound of the glass tabletop shattering, and wood splintering, did nothing to take away the things he had seen. In his rage-filled haze, he had no control. He had no sense of self in those moments. No clue of what he was doing or what he looked like. He had no clue he was yelling and swearing, destroying everything and anything around him.

  All he could think about was everything that fucking nightmare had made him feel. All the dreams that godforsaken place had stolen from him and his brothers.

  Dreams he was living.

  Dreams he shouldn’t be allowed to have.

  “Garrett!” Her voice stilled and quieted all the crap swirling in his head, and he turned to see her pale face stricken with worry.

  “Stef?” His voice was hoarse as he snapped out of everything. Breathing heavily, he looked around. His stomach dropped as he looked at the once tidy and welcoming space.

  Destroyed.

  Obliterated.

  I did this.

  “Stef.”

  “Hey. Yes. It’s me.” Her hands were held out like a person trying to calm a wounded animal, so much worry in her gaze.

  “Sunshine,” he managed to rasp as his sweat-covered chest heaved up and down.

  “It’s okay,” she said with a weak smile.

  “Fuck,” he seethed. His hands clenched around something, but she didn’t stop approaching him. He watched her bravely walking toward him like he wasn’t some kind of predator or menace.

  “Put the lamp down, Garrett,” she gently ordered, and he looked at the object in his hand. His mind was fuzzy, and he felt fucking drunk. Drenched in sweat, trying to catch his breath, he tightened his hands on the ugly mustard-yellow lamp.

  What the hell happened?

  “Baby, please. Garrett, just put it down,” she urged, silently pleading with her big doe eyes. He did the one and only thing he could. He nodded, setting it down gently on the floor.

  Sweat dripped down his forehead. He was soaked, but that didn’t stop her from holding on to him. His ray of sunshine quickly closed the space and was there just as his knees gave out. She held him as they sat on the ground. Ridiculous, since he towered over her, but her strength was what kept them standing.

  Her soothing voice lulled him to serenity.

  Serenity he knew he had fucked up by greedily taking from her and everything she offered, and even what she didn’t.

  Serenity he didn’t deserve.

  He was head over heels in love with the tiny woman holding him like his life depended on it, but she deserved better.

  He just had no idea how to have the balls to walk away for her to get it.

  Stefanie

  My back was against the living room wall where my bookshelf had once stood. Now, it was empty wall space as my hands moved through his hair, his head on my lap. He wasn’t shaking anymore. He was peacefully sleeping, exhaustion of whatever nightmare he’d had finally taking its toll.

  Staring out at the small living space, I couldn’t get myself to care about the way everything was destroyed.

  Utterly thrashed.

  Everything I had painstakingly upcycled or worked overtime to buy was broken or shattered.

  But I didn’t care.

  Not when every cell in my body and heart hurt for Garrett. What the hell haunts him to do this?

  When I had woken up to the first crash, I’d raced out to the living room, but no matter how much I’d tried, there was no getting through to him. He was a man stuck in his own hell, and I’d had no way of reaching him. All I wanted to do was help him find peace. Watching him punch the wall until his hand went through the drywall, time after time, blood running down his hand, smearing on the wall, was a sight I wouldn’t soon forget.

  My fingers stroked through his hair, still slightly damp from sweat. I hadn’t stopped since I had reached him and he had collapsed in my arms. Both of us sitting on the ground. When he had calmed down and his shaking had subsided, I’d done quick work of grabbing him a water, a sleeping pill, and my cell phone.

  The sight of him finally recognizing my voice, the confused expression as he looked at me, like he was coming out of a heavy daze, played behind my eyes over and over, regardless of whether they were closed or open.

  The knock I was waiting for hit my front door, but I didn’t move.

  I didn’t have to.

  I knew they were coming, and I hoped when he came to, he wouldn’t hate me for it. Stroking his hair, I watched the knob move and the front door open. My eyes were on the two men who stepped in, and I breathed in deeply, exhaling slowly as I watched Donnie and Bryan walk in, their eyes wide with shock.

  “Fuck.”

  “Shit,” they cursed as they took in the space. I knew what they were seeing.

  Drywall with holes and blood. Garrett’s blood. Wood and glass littered the floor like it had gone through a paper shredder.

  “He’s asleep,” I told them. Bryan walked right over to me, kneeling in front of me, his eyes gentle on mine. “I had to give him something to relax.”

  “He did this?” Donnie asked, but Bryan didn’t let me answer.

  “You okay?” he asked, his eyes worried and searching my face.

  “I’m fine.” Bryan was a detective, and I knew he was looking for signs of Garrett having been physical with me. “He didn’t lay a hand on me,” I shared. “Garrett wouldn’t hurt me.”

  “Not with his fists,” Donnie muttered under his breath, rubbing the back of his neck.

  “Ever. Garrett would never hurt me,” I hissed, a deep scowl on my face.

  “Donnie didn’t mean anything by that. Garrett’s… Babe, he has serious issues—”

  “I know. I know. I’m not stupid. Shit happens, and it happened.” I brushed it off.

  “Do you know what set him off?” Bryan asked gently. I shook my head and looked away. I had an idea, and guilt struck me.

  Me and my big mouth. Me and my big freaking mouth.

  Why did I have to say I loved him?

  Why did I push?

  _______________

  I could hear Bryan and Donnie as they quietly moved around my living room, but I didn’t move from my bed. They had helped move Garrett here, and I couldn’t help myself. After they helped lift Garrett and laid him down on my bed, I’d lain down behind him. My front wrapped to his back, and my arms around his waist.

  “Sunshine?” his voice rasped as his hands covered mine.

  “Shh. Sleep. You need to rest—”

  “Babe.”

  “I’m serious. You need to sleep—”

  “I scared you.” His voice sounded like he’d swallowed gravel, the guilt heavy. Tears prickled in my eyes.

  “I’m fine,” I whispered against the freckles on his beautiful back. He had scared the crap out of me. He was like a real-life Hulk, picking things up, throwing them about, destroying everything in sight.

  “I’m so fucking sorry,” he rasped. I pressed my lips together before answering him.

  “Nothing to be sorry about,” I whispered into his skin.

  “Stef—”

  “Shh… please. Just rest,” I pleaded softly and felt his tense body somehow still even more.

  “Stefanie.”

  “Please. Just…” I swallowed hard. I didn’t know what would happen after this. I knew what I wanted, but I’d been enough of a selfish cow pushing all my feelings on a man who couldn’t say them back. I’d pushed so much he’d broken. “Just give me this. Please. Let me hold you right now, yeah?”

  His hands covered mine, bringing them up his chest. My nose stung when he rested them over his pecs, resting my left hand over his heart. The silence between us and feel of his heart thrumming against my fingers made my eyes heavy.<
br />
  “Who is here?” he finally asked, bringing my hands up to his lips, kissing the tops of my fingers lightly.

  “Bryan and Donnie,” I shared and felt his body go rigid. “I called them. I—”

  “I understand.” But by the tepid sound of his voice I knew he really didn’t. “I should go help with the cleanup and then…” His voice died down. Would he leave? Would he end this now that he’d let me see this part of him?

  Fear of losing Garrett and all the things he brought to my life hit the back of my throat. I was grateful his back was toward me.

  “Just let me hold you,” I whispered again, fighting shutting my eyes. I didn’t want to miss anything. I wanted to memorize everything I could about the man in my arms because I had a feeling come morning, the constellation of freckles that covered his muscular back wouldn’t be there anymore.

  “Stef.”

  “Please.” My voice cracked, and his hold on my wrist tightened. Exhaling slowly, I spoke again. “Just let me hold you and then…“ My voice drifted off to nothing as tears hit my pillow. I drew a long breath. “Then you can help them.” I pressed my lips together hoping he wouldn’t feel my sadness.

  “Okay, sunshine. Hold me,” he ordered, and I did, nuzzling closer to his back.

  I fought sleep, but between high emotions and adrenaline, exhaustion swept through me. My eyes grew heavier and heavier by the moment, and no matter what, I couldn’t fight sleep.

  “I love you,” I whispered. His thumb stroking my wrist faltered, then kept going. Nothing else was said, and I closed my eyes knowing sleep would soon claim me and take everything I loved away.

  Somewhere in the recesses of my mind, that place where sleep meets consciousness, I felt him move. I felt his lips on my forehead and his hands trace the line of my jaw before the mattress rose and he walked out of more than just my room.

  It’s the begging of the end, a small voice whispered, but I ignored it as I let sleep take me completely.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Garrett

  The mess had almost been cleared out, leaving Stefanie’s living room empty.

  “We need to get your hand checked out.”

  “Yeah,” he rasped, clenching his hand open and closed, unable to hide the wince from the bite of pain that radiated through it.