Hudson

by Joanne Sexton

  “I missed you last night,” she said. “You didn’t come back.”

  “Ah, yeah, something came up.”

  He couldn’t look at her now without feeling guilty. While his parents were being murdered, he was popping his cherry. Instantly Lucas felt an invisible guard rush up, something which had never been there before. He couldn’t be with her, not now, not ever. Alone was better.

  “Oh, do you want to hang out today or do you have to help at the shop?” The words she’d so innocently spoken felt like buckshot straight into his heart.

  “Um, no I don’t but I ... um, don’t think I can see you ...”

  “Oh, okay. Are we still going to the movies tonight?”

  “No.”

  Her face screwed up in the adorable way it did when she was confused. His heart lurched but he pushed his longing and regret aside. His guilt would help him say the words.

  “What’s going on, Lucas? You’re acting really weird.”

  “I think it best if we don’t see each other ...” He couldn’t look at her. Her puzzled expression and pretty face would tear at the remaining shards of his heart.

  “When? Today? Tomorrow? Will I see you on Monday at school?”

  “I mean ever.”

  “What are you saying?”

  He lifted his eyes and regretted it. Her face scrunched up again, like it did when she was about to cry. His heart broke, he loved her so much but he just couldn’t, it was too hard.

  “I’m saying ... I’m sorry but it’s over.”

  It came out much harsher than he’d wanted it too. Her shock and hurt changed her expression; it looked like she’d been slapped.

  “How can you do this after last night? I can’t believe you’re breaking up with me. Oh, I get it now! You got what you wanted and now you ...” She stopped. Tears smeared her cheeks with mascara and his guilt began to suffocate him. He was going to miss her. “What about at school? How ... we have classes together.”

  “I’m not sure I’ll be going back, besides, we graduate next week.”

  “Lucas, what’s going on? Are you all right?”

  She took a step forward her face filled with concern. Her uncanny ability to always know how he felt, know when something was wrong, came into play and he realised he didn’t hide from her well enough. She’d always made it better before. Not this time. He attempted to make his expression blank and it appeared to work.

  “I’ve decided to leave school early, and we’re done.”

  He couldn’t look at her anymore, couldn’t see the hurt in her eyes and the confusion in her face so he shut the door and slid down to the floor with his back against it. Anguish brought his hands to his face and hot tears to flow.

  “What the hell are you doing?” Carrie asked from the doorway, startling him.

  “It’s better this way,” he mumbled through his hands.

  “For whom?”

  “Me, her, both of us. I have nothing left to give now and...”

  She strode over to him and urged him up from the floor. His eyes were tormented and the amber glow had extinguished, to be replaced with dark broodiness. Carrie was afraid she’d lost her Lucky forever.

  “Lucky—”

  “Please, don’t call me that again. Ever.”

  Their mother had given him the pet name when they were children. Lucas always managed to avoid accidents and injuries as a toddler, no matter how many things he leapt off from great heights or daredevil acts he attempted. Carrie suddenly realised he didn’t feel so lucky now.

  “Lucas, pushing everyone away isn’t going to help.”

  “What will, Carrie!” he yelled. “I should have been there.”

  “And I told you, I’m glad you weren’t. How would it have been for me then, with no-one? We have each other and that is all we have right now. You’re lucky to have someone who cares about you, to support you.”

  “I don’t want to talk about this with you. And don’t call me Lucky!” He stormed to his room and the door shut with a resounding bang.

  When the doorbell rang again, Carrie hoped it was Stacy returning, having seen through Lucas’ tough facade, however, she was greeted by two detectives instead. The older man, perhaps in his forties, was medium height with an athletic build and kind brown eyes. The younger man, in his late twenties, was tall and lean with striking blue eyes. His hair was blonde and curly and under normal circumstances he would have been just her type.

  “Good morning,” the older one began. “I’m detective Monroe and this is detective Willis. We’re sorry to disturb you during your time of grief but we need to ask you some questions.”

  “Come in. I don’t really know if I’ll be much help ... this is all such a ... shock.”

  “We know how difficult this is for you, miss, but we need to speak with you and your brother.”

  “It’s Carrie. Make yourselves comfortable, I’ll get Lucas.”

  For the first time in a long time or perhaps ever she knocked on his door. Doors were never closed in the Hudson household. Now, along with their parents, openness had gone too.

  “What do you want?” He asked her once she entered.

  “There are detectives here who need to talk to us.”

  With a reluctant sigh, he climbed from his bed, his face a mask, his footsteps slow. She followed him down the hall towards the sitting room, preparing herself for the ordeal she was about to tackle. Not only would she have to hear the details of their parent’s murder, but would have to relive them as Lucas did, see the gruesomeness through his eyes. She had to be brave for them both now. Lucas was her little brother and she had to be his strength.

  Lucas perched on the edge of the couch, his eyes downcast, his hands clenched and his jaw tight. Carrie wondered what he was seeing at that moment. Courage, Carrie.

  They waited.

  “Perhaps we should ask what we need and leave you to it,” the older detective stated.

  Carrie nodded.

  “Lucas.” The detective waited. Lucas raised his head. “Can you tell me what happened?”

  “No, I wasn’t there.” Carrie could see Lucas working his jaw.

  Suddenly aware that he was barely keeping it together, she shuffled along the couch to sit closer to him. She placed her hands over his taut fists clamped together in his lap.

  “Can you tell us what you did see?”

  Lucas looked down again before he spoke. “I was late, I’d been...at my girlfriend’s. I suppose I got there around nine thirty. They didn’t answer when I called out. Only the light in the front of the shop was on and the back storage room was dark. I felt something...sticky on the floor and that was when I noticed the smell ...” He paused. Carrie’s heart constricted. “I saw something behind a stack of boxes, and as I got closer, I realised it was Dad’s feet. He was on the floor, so I bent down to touch his chest but knew he was ... gone. All I wanted to do then was find Mum. I went out the front, to find the shop trashed, and the cash register open, along with the safe. There seemed to be a lot of stuff missing too. I walked around, behind the counter and she was there, on the floor. This is where the police officer found me.”

  “Did you touch or move anything?”

  “Only her ...”

  “Is there anything you can remember besides the missing items that looked out of place?” Lucas’ jaw clenched tighter again.

  “I think he told you everything he remembers,” Carrie told the detective. Lucas couldn’t do this much longer.

  “All right, we’ll leave you to it. If he thinks of anything or wants to talk some more, give me a call.” He dropped his card on the table. “I’m really sorry for your loss. Would you like me to keep you updated on the case, let you know how we’re going?”

  “No,” said Carrie.

  “Yes,” said Lucas.

  “I wasn’t sure whether I was going to pass this information onto you or not, but ... this isn’t the first incident. At the other scenes there was little evidence and nothing to go on. We�
�re hoping to catch a break.”

  “Catching the punks who did this would be better,” Lucas muttered through clenched teeth.

  “We would like nothing more. Thanks for your time.”

  When the detectives left, Lucas seemed to relax slightly. She lifted her hand to touch his face again.

  “I’ll take care of everything, little brother,” she assured him.

  He offered a pained crooked smile before disappearing to his room again.

  4

  Time Heals

  His gaze followed her when she walked in and although he felt a surge of love and lust upon seeing her, he couldn’t understand why she’d come. He certainly didn’t invite her to their parents wake. Carrie had insisted on having an afternoon tea after the service at their house, much to his displeasure. Stacy, neat and pretty walked in her delicate way towards him. The slight sway of her hips and her long hair in a neat bun almost did him in. Living without her was almost going to be as hard as losing his parents.

  “I’m sorry, Lucas,” Stacy said quietly as she touched his hand. He let her hand linger for a moment, to feel the softness before pulling his away. Lowering his eyes from her intense gaze, he shoved both hands into his pockets.

  “Thanks … um … you didn’t have to come.”

  “Carrie invited me.” She would.

  “Yeah, well, thanks for coming.”

  He went to walk away, to the sanctuary of his room, to escape the sympathetic eyes when her hand touched his arm again.

  “I can … want to be here for you, Lucas.”

  “I … can’t, Stacy, please not here, not now, ever …” His heart lurched, he missed her.

  “I lo—”

  “I know. Me too,” he said quietly and walked away from his first and only love.

  As the weeks progressed a black cloud settled over Lucas. He stopped going to school, graduated, without going to the celebrations and spent a lot of time alone. Carrie suggested he seek therapy but he’d simply scowled so she didn’t mention it again.

  The police initially updated them constantly regarding their investigation, which was going nowhere as far as Lucas was concerned, but as time passed, they reported less. The case grew cold as did Lucas’ heart. The robberies and murders appeared to have ceased and the police had no clue or suspects.

  Carrie, true to her word, had taken care of everything. She’d hired a lawyer through a friend of a family friend and although he usually only practiced corporate law, Harrison Montgomery agreed to help her. The shop and house had been sold and they now lived in a small two bedroom apartment, which suited Lucas fine. There were no happy memories here and it matched his gloomy mood. The money remaining from the sale of assets went into a trust account for each of them, for when they turned twenty-one. Carrie was only a few months away from receiving hers and planned to buy a hairdressing salon. She’d almost completed her apprenticeship and wanted to start her own business.

  Lucas had totally different plans he’d decided to join the police force as soon as he turned eighteen. If the current authorities couldn’t bring them justice, he would find it for himself and perhaps help others find it as well in the process. While at school his ambition had been to study engineering. Design and construction had always held his interest and he’d spent many idle hours sketching buildings and infrastructure. That was all in the past. His only goal now was admission into the force.

  In the meantime, reading had become his main pastime. He borrowed every book he could find at the library about the law, police procedure and evidence collection. He was determined to become a detective, find his parent’s murderers and serve justice. The remainder of his time was spent at the gym. Having always been lean and lanky, he decided it wouldn’t hurt to bulk up a little, get fit, ready for his training at the academy. He hadn’t considered for a moment he wouldn’t be accepted. There was only one obstacle as far as he could see, not that it was much of an obstacle. Carrie. She wouldn’t approve.

  He smiled slightly as he thought of his sister, had it not been for her he would have completely fallen apart, not that he was actually whole. She was keeping him afloat, just. Her tenacity and gumption were an inspiration and helped him through each day. Carrie, and his ambition, kept him going.

  Lucas may have begun to move on a little, as Carrie had, if the dreams didn’t haunt him at night and the memories didn’t linger during the day. Waking up morning after morning bathed in a cold sweat, haunted by their faces and gaping necks was weighing heavily on his soul.

  Carrie had finally found the perfect location for her shop and she was full of excitement. She now sat, anxiously, in the waiting rooms of their, well her, lawyer, Harrison Montgomery, to organise the purchase. An easy-going, charming man, around the same age their father had been, Harrison immediately set her at ease. With wavy, dark blonde hair and icy blue eyes he was boyishly handsome. Various photos around his office of three blonde haired boys had caught her eye on previous visits and she couldn’t help but notice they were as attractive as their father.

  Mr Montgomery had proven to be heaven sent and Carrie was grateful for his kindness and professionalism. When she was desperate, lost, and alone, he had eased all her legal woes and taken care of everything on her behalf. Although Lucas had been of little help over the past weeks, not that she held it against him in the least, he had nevertheless respected all the decisions she’d made without word or argument. She was thankful for that.

  Worry over Lucas plagued her daily as he spent endless hours confined to his room, living in solitude. She had absolutely no idea what he wanted to do with his life now. Did he at least know? Losing their parents had been the most difficult and painful experience of her life but she couldn’t wallow forever, she needed to be strong. Her only fear now was for Lucas as he didn’t seem to be moving forward. He’d cut himself off from his friends along with their extended family, and seemed content with her company only.

  Upon hearing about the tragedy, Stacy had tried in vain to help, to be there for him, but he’d completely shut her out as he had everyone else. Carrie had invited Stacy to the wake with the hope that it would help but it had been pointless, Lucas was completely closed off. The Lucky she’d loved was gone and replaced by an aloof, guarded Lucas who refused to allow anyone in, apart from her of course, on rare occasions.

  Nervous energy surged through her body and her legs bounced relieving her stress a little. She was flipping through a magazine when she heard a deep, husky voice speak with the receptionist. She turned to discover a sandy haired man with his back to her, chatting amicably with the young girl. He appeared to be flirting with her and she was definitely enjoying it. Immediately she wondered if he was one of Mr Montgomery’s sons, although the photos on his desk were dated, his wavy hair, height and structure were similar to Mr Montgomery.

  As though he sensed her, he turned in her direction and she realized much to her chagrin, she’d been caught staring. His eyes, an incredible pale blue, penetrated hers and when he smiled, her heart stopped. He was the handsomest man she’d ever seen. With her breath held, she dared to stare a moment longer before dropping her gaze. She didn’t however, miss his smile of amusement.

  “Hello,” she heard his deep voice again but closer now. “I’m sorry to disturb you. I was wondering if you minded waiting a few minutes longer, while I quickly talk to my father.”

  Carrie looked up at his incredible face, to find an amused smile again. She tried to find her voice. What was wrong with her?

  “Um, no, I don’t mind.”

  “I won’t be long, I promise.”

  “Take your time, I have nowhere to go.” She internally cringed. Nowhere to go!

  He grinned. “Thanks.”

  His eyes dazzled her and his smile, just plain yum! She was tongue tied for the first time in her life. Being a hairdresser entailed being outgoing and friendly, two qualities she usually had in abundance.

  “Um, no problem.”

  A confident stri
de took him towards his father’s office, and he winked at her as he turned to pull the door closed. Oh my! No man had ever affected her quite like that. She counted the seconds, waiting for him to reappear.

  Carrie had never been short of male attention or boyfriends over her dating years. Her dating life started with a high school sweetheart from sixteen until school finished. There had been a few casual dates and steadies since then however none really held her interest for too long. Life was too short. The irony of this became apparent that dreadful night weeks before. This was the first time her interest had been piqued since it happened. She’d been too busy grieving, sorting out their affairs and supporting Lucas to even consider a relationship, until now.

  The door opened and she was jolted from her thoughts. A deep throaty laugh resounded out the door sending desire surging through her veins. What was happening to her? Head down, she followed him with the corner of her eye until he came to stand next to her. Once again her breath caught as she met his gaze.

  “Thanks. I’m sorry to have made you wait.” His amused grin still lit up his face. God he's gorgeous. Speak, Carrie.

  “That’s okay.” Don’t go!

  “I might see you around.”

  “Wait,” she said quickly. He smiled again. “My name’s Carrie.”

  “I know.” He winked again and walked away.

  She watched him leave with annoyance, why didn’t he tell her his name. She would have to ask Mr Montgomery. The receptionist indicated he was ready to see her so she hurried in.

  “Good morning, Carrie,” he said warmly.

  “Ah, hi, Mr Montgomery.”

  “Harrison.” He smiled.

  “Harrison.” She returned it.

  “So you’ve found a location for your salon?”