Stay Forever

by Darcy Schroeder

  Isabelle walked up behind him and stood quietly as Andrew kneeled to get a closer look at the black ground.

  “You okay?” she asked.

  “Yeah. How’s my mom?”

  “She’s good. I gave her a valium.”

  Andrew looked up at Isabelle, confused. He hadn’t really paid too much attention to either Isabelle or his mom since they’d arrived at the property this time. Instead, he’d concentrated on looking around, to see if there was anything left, and to find any clues as to who might be responsible for starting the fire. “Really? Valium? Why?”

  “She’s fine, Andrew. This is just very tough for her to handle.” Isabelle reached over and grabbed his shoulder. “I’m also worried about you. I think we should do what your father said and get out of here for a bit. This may be too much of a stressor—”

  “Isabelle, this is the home I grew up in,” Andrew pointed around the area. Miles and Anne were over near the main house. His mom was sitting in the truck. He could see her body shake as she sobbed.

  “I know,” She replied.

  “This is where Miles and I would come out and pass around a soccer or a football. I have so many memories of this place, and now it’s just gone. It’s hard to understand why anyone would want to do this to my family. We’ve already been through so much.” A large lump had developed in the back of Andrew’s throat. He swallowed hard, trying to push back the sudden wave of sadness that had enveloped him.

  Andrew knew he should have come home earlier. He’d spent the past fifteen years trying to avoid his family and his home, and now this had happened. He’d missed out on so many things, including spending time in the only home he’d ever really known, and now he would never get that opportunity again.

  Isabelle kneeled next to him and wrapped her arms around his chest. “I’m sorry this happened to your family. I really am. You guys are being so strong.”

  Andrew looked up to see the first of the bulldozers arrive. That had been quick. His father obviously had no intention of letting this place sit here like this for too long.

  “Dad, give us just a little more time to look around before you start the clean-up,” Andrew yelled over the rumble of the heavy machinery.

  “For what?” Wayne turned to Andrew with an angry look in his eyes. “Everything is gone. I don’t want to see my home like this any longer than I have to. Besides, you really don’t have room to talk right now.”

  “I know the local investigators have combed through this area, but I’d also like to take a look around. Maybe I’ll see something they didn’t.”

  “Andrew, there’s nothing else to see and I doubt you will find something the actual fire department missed. Everything is gone. Now, you guys go ahead and get on out of here! I’m done discussing this.”

  Andrew paused, and looked down at the black ash. He wanted to shout something back at his dad, but he held his tongue. Maybe his father was right. He should leave. He pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. When he reopened them, he spotted a glimmer in the black soot. The sun was getting stronger when he saw another gleam amidst all the mud. He reached down and wiped away some of the mess. Instantly, he felt the smooth ceramic edge of a cup.

  He lifted the coffee mug and studied it. It was something that had been made by a child. Andrew didn’t recall it. Maybe Miles had done it. He held the object up, trying to get a good look at all sides.

  That’s where he saw it. The name “Lucy” was etched into the bottom of the cup.

  “Did you make that for your father?” Isabelle asked.

  He handed her the cup. “No, I’m not sure what it is. Maybe my dad got this from somewhere. Look at the bottom.”

  “Lucy? I don’t know many girls with that name in this town.”

  Andrew wondered if they were thinking the same thing. “Me either. I only know one.”

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Andrew tucked the old coffee cup beneath his shirt and returned to the truck. He wasn’t sure what he planned to do with the object. He considered asking Miles about the find, but decided against it for now.

  Isabelle climbed into the passenger seat. “What do you want to do now?”

  “I need a drink,” Andrew said. “And a shower.”

  “Andrew, it’s only eleven in the morning,” Isabelle shot back, a look of complete shock on her face.

  Andrew wanted to laugh, but instead he thought he should clarify. “Of water. I just need something to get this awful taste out of my mouth.” He ran his tongue over his gritty teeth. The smoky taste made him want to gag. It was a mixture of metal and what he envisioned licking the inside of a fireplace might taste like. Plus, it reminded him of everything they lost. He didn’t want to relive the fire and the look on his mother’s face when they’d driven up to the house. “Don’t worry, Doc. I’m not an alcoholic. At least, not yet. Trust me, there have been a number of times that drinking away my worries seemed like an easy way out, but not today.”

  Isabelle let out an uncomfortable laugh. “Good. I was beginning to worry about you. I agree, a drink of water would be nice right now.” She licked her lips. “You’re right. I have the lingering taste of burnt wood in my mouth.”

  Andrew stared straight ahead. The charred remains of his family home were scattered before him. He had come out here over the past few days and just sat in his truck staring at the empty space in front of him. It all seemed very surreal right now.

  There were only several large mounds of black dirt in front of his truck. Those mounds contained pieces of the house in which he’d grown up. It was ugly. Really, he just wanted to get out of here, so he didn’t have to think about everything they’d lost. “I have to admit, I did have a number of beers the other night at Miles’ house and then some every night this week.”

  Isabelle had been working the past few nights, but they had still managed to squeeze in some time together. He could feel himself falling more and more in love with her.

  “I know. I could tell,” she responded, trying not to smile. “That’s why you were so easy to take advantage of when we were at your brother’s house.”

  Andrew let out a loud laugh. “No! That part definitely wasn’t the beer. It was that oversized t-shirt you were wearing that showed off those amazing legs that just never seem to end. How is a guy supposed to resist those?”

  “Hmm. Now I know. You’re a simple guy who likes t-shirts and bare legs.”

  “Don’t think you get off that easy, Dr. Rodriguez. I like many things, beautiful legs included, but I do have a motto that less is best.” He winked at her before returning his attention to the depressing scene in front of him. It felt good to laugh. Isabelle had been the perfect distraction for him over the past few days. “Really, you could have ditched the t-shirt. It wasn’t necessary. In fact, it just got in the way.”

  “You’re just like all the other men in this town. All you can seem to think about is getting the new doctor into bed.”

  “Whoa! What did you just say? Other guys want to get you into bed? How do you know that?” Andrew said in his most serious-yet-wounded voice. “Obviously, I need to make everyone more aware that you are currently off the market.”

  “I am?”

  “Yes, at least, I hope you are—”

  “Okay. I am.”

  “So, how do you know other men in town want to get you in bed?”

  “Trust me. I see their looks. Women aren’t completely oblivious, you know. We do have brains.”

  “I know. I know. Your gender likes to remind mine of that often. We get it. You’re all smart, funny, and can do any job a man can do.”

  “Exactly,” Isabelle said as she hit him lightly on the shoulder.

  Andrew cleared his throat. “Do you still need to be at the clinic by seven?”

  He started the truck. He wasn’t sure what answer he hoped Isabelle would give him.

  “Funny you should ask. The answer is no. I went ahead and took the next few days off. The clinic is going t
o bring in a doctor from another town so I can be with you and your family during this difficult time. I didn’t even have to explain. Everyone knows about the fire.” She looked over at Andrew. Her large brown eyes bored into his, as if she were trying to see if she’d given him the answer he’d hoped for.

  Andrew stared back at her. “Really? You took off from work for me?”

  “Yes. For you and your family. Besides, I haven’t been able to concentrate at work with all that has happened recently.”

  They sat next to each other in silence as Andrew navigated the residential streets. Finally, he decided they should get out of town. There was no reason for them to stick around for the next few hours. Besides, everything was so depressing right now. He just needed to drive and see some of his favorite countryside.

  “Why don’t we go by your place, grab a few items, and get out of this town for the night? I need some fresh air, and it doesn’t look like I’m going to get it here,” Andrew said, hoping Isabelle would agree. He wanted nothing more right now than to be with her.

  “Where do you want to go?” Isabelle looked at him. The noon sun cast a warm glow around her face.

  “I just thought we could drive and figure it out on the way. I want to be anywhere but here. It’s just too much right now.”

  “Okay. I’m game, but what about your stuff?”

  “Uh. My stuff. Well, mine was destroyed in the fire. So, it looks like we’ll be stopping somewhere to buy me new clothes.”

  “What about your home? Is it close enough that we could stop by and pick up some stuff for you?”

  “That was my home, Isabelle. I got rid of my apartment last year, right before I was deployed for the last time, and I sold most of my crappy belongings. I figured, once I got back I could start over. That’s what this has been about—starting over. A few months ago, I got Miles’s wedding invitation, and it seemed like maybe everything I had done was part of a bigger plan. So here I am today, without my own vehicle, any clothes, or really any other items, for that matter. Everything is gone.”

  “Oh my goodness. I didn’t realize that. I just assumed you still had a place somewhere. I’m so sorry, Andrew. I didn’t understand how much you lost in that fire until now.”

  “Yeah, I’m pretty sure my family also thinks I have a place somewhere else. It’s actually weird not knowing what my next step is going to be as far as a job or home.”

  Andrew pulled up in Isabelle’s narrow driveway.

  “Give me a couple of minutes to collect a few things. I’ll be right back.”

  “Okay. Take your time.”

  Andrew watched her run up her front porch steps and go inside. Her long, slender legs took the stairs two at a time.

  He looked at his phone and decided to send Miles a text, letting him know that they would be out of pocket for the next twenty-four hours. Then he asked about his family’s old lake house. It was the only other home he had really known growing up, and he wanted to be there now.

  Miles responded with some quip about it probably being a good idea for the two of them to get away for a little bit, and then let Andrew know the lake house was still around. He also sent him the gate code, and instructions on where to find the extra key. Andrew sent a text to his mom, telling her he’d be staying at the lake tonight. She also told him it was a smart idea.

  Andrew dropped his phone into one of the cup holders just as Isabelle emerged from her house and walked back to the truck.

  “I really wasn’t sure what to grab, but I have clothes for the night.”

  “Did you bring a bathing suit?”

  “No. Do I need one?”

  “Don’t worry. If we need one, we can buy one.”

  “That works for me.” She climbed into the passenger seat. “Where are we headed?”

  “My family has a lake house east of here, about an hour and a half away. I thought that might be a nice little getaway.”

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  “When was the last time you visited your family’s lake house?”

  “Oh, it’s been about fifteen years. The same as everything else. Why?”

  “Just curious.”

  They drove in silence for several minutes, before Andrew finally cleared his throat. “There’s a Walmart in the little town near the lake. I thought we could stop there to grab a few items.”

  “Fine. I guess that will work.”

  Andrew drove down the once-familiar roads, all lined with tall pine trees. There were a few new gas stations and restaurants along the way, but that was really the only difference. They stopped to grab some food for the night, and a bottle of wine. Andrew also picked up some toiletry items and a few other things to replace the ones he’d lost in the fire. It still hadn’t sunk in that he had lost everything: all of his high school memorabilia, pictures, books, and clothes. Over the next few weeks, he would have to completely start over. Maybe joining the family business wasn’t such a bad idea now. He had some savings, but not a lot. He needed a way to pay for all of the new things he had to purchase.

  “This is a pretty drive,” Isabelle said as she watched the scenery pass by.

  “I agree. It’s nice. I probably should have come to visit more often. It might have been just the thing I needed to feel normal again.”

  “Yeah. I can’t believe you disappeared from all of this.”

  “Me either.”

  The day he’d left had been one of the happiest of his life. The accident had caused a dark shadow to follow him around for weeks, but everything had changed after his departure. It was almost as if the clouds had briefly disappeared and there was once again a little bit of sunshine in his life. He’d enjoyed the structure and long workouts in the Marines. He had enjoyed his work. But over the past few weeks, he’d realized just how much he’d missed his family, and the town where he’d grown up.

  With each deployment, he’d found himself in the line of fire. There had been a few instances where a mission had gone wrong. Gerald was one of those instances. He flinched at the thought.

  Gerald had been a new recruit under Andrew’s command two years ago. The young boy had been from Kentucky or Alabama. He really couldn’t remember exactly where, but Gerald had had a strong southern accent. Everyone in the unit had liked him. He’d been funny and carefree. Andrew had always enjoyed having him around, and sometimes he’d had to try not play favorites. Then they’d gotten orders to do some recon work just outside the base. Their platoon hadn’t really seen any action in months. It had been relatively quiet, and Andrew recalled wondering why they were even still over there conducting missions, but they’d had their orders, and Andrew had intended to complete any task given to him and his men.

  Andrew had taken a few Marines with him. Gerald had been one of the first ones selected, because he would at least make the work enjoyable. The soldiers had needed a reason to laugh, and Gerald had never failed to provide plenty of comic relief. They had only been off-base for a few minutes when Gerald had seen something and told the driver to stop the vehicle so he could take a closer look. Andrew had been staring down at some paperwork and had hardly seen Gerald get out of the vehicle when they agreed he should go and check out whatever it was he’d seen.

  In an instant, Gerald was gone. Another Marine had quickly jumped out and tried to grab him, but they’d driven right into the middle of an ambush. Enemy gunfire erupted around their vehicle, sending bullets flying all around them. A few hours later, they recovered Gerald’s body. It had been one of the few times Andrew had watched an entire unit put down their weapons and cry. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that they were all finishing up their deployment—and it had been a long one this time around—but he also knew it was because of the impact Gerald had made on the team.

  They had flown home two days later. Gerald should have been sitting in one of the seats, but instead, his body was in a wooden casket in the cargo hold.

  “What are you thinking about?” Isabelle’s voice broke through Andrew�
��s thoughts.

  He looked over at her. “Why?”

  “You had a funny look on your face.”

  “I was thinking about a Marine who died not too long ago. He was under my command when he was killed.”

  “I’m sorry to hear that. What was his name?”

  “Gerald. He was a nice guy. A really great guy who should be home with his family instead of being buried somewhere.”

  “It must have been hard to see so many people get injured or die.”

  “It was at first, but then, over the years, you become numb to all the gunfire going on around you. It’s all a little surreal. I get why some soldiers come home and start acting crazy.”

  “Do you ever have sad thoughts?”

  “I don’t know. It all just seems normal now. I’m not sure if my thoughts are any gloomier or angrier than anyone else’s. Thankfully, in between my combat tours, I was sent to non-combat areas and held relatively boring jobs. It’s just part of who I’ve become.”

  “Would you tell me if things change?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Andrew, if you start to have thoughts about hurting someone, even yourself, I would like to know.”

  “I don’t have those sorts of thoughts.”

  “That’s good, but would you tell me if you did?” Isabelle asked as she leaned her head back.

  “That depends. Would you be asking me to tell you because you like my hot body or because you’re my doctor?”

  Isabelle sighed. Andrew could tell he had hit a nerve. “Both. I just want you to know you can talk to me.”

  “I don’t really like to talk.”

  “Andrew, you know what I mean. A lot has happened over the past few years. It’s okay to let someone inside your tough outer shell.”

  “Do you want to be that someone?”

  “Maybe, but if not me, then you need to let someone in. It’s unhealthy otherwise.”