Never Doubt Me: Judge Me Not #2

by S. R. Grey

  Anyway, this sketch belongs with you. No matter what happens to me, just know any hope I ever felt was because of you. You always tried to make things better, even when things were all fucked to hell. And in doing so, you gave me hope. In fact, you gave me your hope a long time ago, with this sketch. Well, now it’s my turn to return the favor and give it back to you.

  Love, Will

  I read my brother’s cryptic note again and again. His words hit me deeply. But I can’t figure out what he is trying to tell me. Why would he leave this sketch, that note? What does he think is going to happen to him that I need to know how he feels?

  I don’t know, but I have a bad feeling.

  I consider calling him, as I’m sure he has his cell on him. But I know if I call him while he’s traveling on a bus with a bunch of strangers, he won’t divulge a thing.

  Someone, though, may have an answer—the same someone who’s been hanging out with my brother for the past couple of weeks, the same someone who made that mystery trip to Kyle Tanner’s that I never did get to the bottom of.

  Yeah, I think as I carefully place the Post-it note and the sketch back on the nightstand, a talk with Jared is long overdue.

  I skip breakfast, take a three-minute shower, and bolt out the door before Kay is even up. I’m hoping to catch Jared before I start work. But on my way to his house, Father Maridale calls. He needs me to come to the church as soon as possible; there’s a broken pipe in the rectory. Water is everywhere.

  Fuck. My. Life.

  As it turns out, the broken pipe is a big deal, and I’m stuck working on that fucking mess throughout the entire morning. The only good thing is that Kay comes to work, and is right down the hall from where I’m working.

  But she gets tied up, too, and we don’t have a chance to connect until lunch.

  As we walk down to the diner, Kay glances over at me and says, “Okay, we’re not at work anymore. No one’s around to hear. What’s going on?”

  I admit I’ve wanted to talk to her all morning about what I found in Will’s room.

  “What’d you find?” she inquires worriedly.

  “Not drugs,” I preface to ease her mind.

  She blows out a breath, relieved. “Thank God.”

  “Right. So do you remember that tree house sketch I drew for Will?”

  “Yes, of course, Chase.”

  I stop right in the middle of the sidewalk and drag my fingers through my hair. “Do you remember how Will brought that sketch to Ohio with him?”

  She turns to face me, and then touches my arm. “I remember.”

  I start to drag my hand through my hair again, but she reaches up and lowers my hand back down to my side.

  “He left it here, Kay,” I say urgently. “I found the sketch in his room this morning.”

  “Maybe he just wants you to have it,” she suggests as she laces our fingers together.

  “I think there’s more to it than that.”

  When Kay frowns, perplexed, I sigh. And then I tell her about the note that was attached to the sketch.

  “That is odd,” she agrees, her voice conveying her concern. “I wonder why Will would write a note like that.”

  “I don’t know, but it sounds foreboding. I think I need to talk to Jared. After all, we never did find out why he and Will stopped at Kyle’s place. And I have a feeling it has something to do with why Will wrote that note—and left it with his sketch.”

  “I can go with you, if you want,” Kay offers.

  Since I’d certainly rather do this with her by my side than alone, I say, “Absolutely. Let’s head over to his house after work.”

  “Sound good.” She smiles up at me reassuringly. “Everything will be all right, Chase. Try not to worry too much. I bet there’s a harmless explanation.”

  I know she’s trying to make me feel better, and I appreciate it. A sudden wave of absolute gratitude that Kay is always standing by my fucked-up ass washes over me.

  I encircle her in my arms, lower my head, and mumble against her neck, “Thank you for doing this with me. I was on my way over to Jared’s this morning, but Father Maridale called about that broken pipe.” I sigh. “It’s probably better if you’re with me when I talk to Jared. You keep me solid.” After a pause, I whisper, “What would I do without you, baby?”

  “Chase, I’ll always be here for you, no matter what.” Kay tightens her arms around my waist. “I promise.”

  I know her words are spoken with truth and love. And I want her with me always, but not if it ever poses a liability for her. I long to let myself go and lean on Kay, and I do a little bit of that right now, but at the same time, I remind myself that I can never put her in any situation that might turn out to be dangerous. Kay’s well-being will always top my own emotional needs.

  We stand on the sidewalk, holding one another, until a few people pass and give us some odd looks. With a chuckle, I take a step back. We break apart and walk down to the diner.

  I feel better already, just knowing I’ll (hopefully) have some answers soon.

  But when Kay and I return to the church grounds following lunch, I suspect the answers to the questions I have regarding Will may come sooner than expected. Jared’s sister’s car—the bright-red Jaguar—is parked in the center of the church parking lot, standing out like a beacon.

  “Wonder what she’s doing here,” Kay says, nodding to the flashy Jag.

  “I don’t know, but Jared’s with her.” I point to where he’s seated in the passenger seat.

  “Oh,” Kay says, “huh. Wonder what he wants?”

  I don’t answer. Jared sees me in the parking lot and jumps out of the car. He rushes over, waving me down. “Hey, Chase… Can I talk to you for a minute?”

  Fuck, this can’t be good. Sure, I want to talk to the kid. But if he’s here at Holy Trinity of his own volition, then it can only mean one thing—Will is in some serious trouble.

  “We shouldn’t stand around out here,” Kay whispers two seconds before Jared reaches us. “Maybe we should go in the church or something.”

  The urgency in her voice lets me know she’s as worried as I am about what Jared may have to say.

  When Jared reaches us, he nods to Kay, greeting her quickly. He then turns his full attention to me. “I asked my sister to drive me over here, since my car is, uh, out of commission. I hate to bother you at work like this.” He glances around. “But it’s kind of important that I talk with you.”

  “Is it about Will?” I ask, even though I’m already certain it is.

  “Yeah.” Jared nods grimly. “It’s about Will.”

  Kay again suggests we move the conversation to somewhere more private than the middle of the parking lot. I agree, as does Jared, so the four of us head to the church. As we step into the vestibule, the smell of burning candles and incense permeates the very muggy air. It’s a hot day, and inside the vestibule, it feels like it might be topping one hundred degrees.

  Kay fans herself with her hand, while Jared swipes at the sweat beading on his brow.

  I ignore the fucking heat and get right to the point.

  “So what’s going on with Will? It must be pretty fucking important for you to make a special trip like this.”

  “It is important.” Jared drops his gaze and stares down at the checkered linoleum floor. He takes a deep breath, like he’s calming himself in order to continue. Maybe he is.

  “Anyway,” he says at last. “There’s something I need to tell you about the morning Will and I went to Kyle’s house, the day of the car accident.”

  As if I’d forget that day.

  “Okay,” I prompt when Jared goes quiet, “what do you need to tell me?”

  I guess the tone of my voice is harsh. Kay moves closer to me and rubs her hand up and down my arm. It’s meant to be soothing, but nothing can calm me right now. I’m ready to fucking explode, implode, something.

  Jared shuffles uncomfortably, and then, in a low voice, he says, “We didn’t buy drugs th
at day. When I told you that, it was the truth. But what I didn’t tell you is that Will did buy…something…from Kyle.”

  My heart races in my chest, and my mouth dries up like the Nevada desert Will is closing in on with every passing minute.

  “What did my brother buy from that motherfucker?” I grind out.

  Jared’s eyes, filled with sorrow and pity, meet mine as he says, “Will bought a gun.”

  Kay gasps from beside me, and I say nothing. But my mind reels and reels.

  Shit, shit, shit. This can’t be fucking happening.

  There are only two reasons why my brother would buy a gun: to shoot himself or to shoot someone else. Despite his problems, and the fact that he left a sketch that symbolizes his hope here in Harmony Creek, I know for a fact my brother isn’t suicidal.

  But there is a person I know for certain he’d like to see dead, the same man who has been tormenting his girlfriend.

  “Paul,” I say out loud.

  “Cassie’s stepdad,” Kay whispers at the same time.

  We both know my brother will do anything to protect Cassie.

  And, suddenly, it all makes sense.

  This is why Will was so calm and well behaved for the past few days. He sure as fuck had no desire to alert me that something was up. And this is what he meant when he said everything was “under control.” He knew then that he’d purchased an illegal firearm; he knew he planned to take it with him to Vegas. This is also why Will had his plane ticket refunded. He wouldn’t be allowed to board a plane with a fucking firearm in tow. But the bus was different. When he was boarding the bus, no one checked a thing. He must have known that’d be the case.

  “Fuck,” I hiss.

  I am so incredibly pissed that I can’t stand here and do nothing. And I know what I must do. I walk away briskly, on a mission, leaving Kay and Jared in the wake of my fury—fury directed at the one person who could have prevented all of this from happening, Kyle fucking Tanner.

  Ten minutes later, I am pounding on motherfucking Tanner’s battered screen door. I am milliseconds from kicking in the fucking door, but then Kyle bellows from inside the house, “Hold on a goddamn minute, okay?”

  I chuckle humorlessly. “Yeah, okay.”

  When Kyle opens the door, his hooded, drug-dilated eyes take me in. “Dude, what the fuck?”

  Without preamble, I grab him by the front of his shirt and pull him up close to my face. “I’ve got a ‘what the fuck’ for you. What the fuck were you thinking selling my brother a fucking gun?”

  Kyle blinks slowly. He’s so fucked up that he doesn’t even realize I could break his ass in two with one solid hit. And I’m about to.

  “Man, he said he wanted it for protection, okay? Said he was going back to Vegas, and that it’s a dangerous place.”

  “Yeah,” I say, shoving him away from me, “it’s dangerous, all right. Thanks to you.”

  I consider laying him out, and I almost do. He’d be so easy to break right now. But something inside me urges me to just walk away.

  Maybe I am changing.

  Whatever the case, I turn away, leaving my former dealer trembling and shaking.

  Kyle expected the worst. But it’s not worth the effort. Not when I need to direct all of my energy to what really matters now—saving Will.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Kay

  Chase takes off from the vestibule, leaving me to stare blankly at Jared. He shrugs, and out in the church parking lot, the sound of a truck roaring to life fills the muggy air. Not five seconds later, tires squeal out of the church parking lot.

  “That was Chase,” I whisper. “He’s gone.”

  It’s already stifling in the vestibule, but the air feels like it has shot up another ten degrees, like the temperature reflects Chase’s anger.

  “I should have said something sooner,” Jared laments.

  “Yeah,” I agree, “you should have.”

  But there’s no time for regret or blame. Will has done something stupid. He bought a gun and now he’s in danger.

  “Did Will happen to mention why he wanted a gun?” I ask Jared.

  He shakes his head. “Not really. I mean, he was going on and on about Cassie’s sicko stepdad, but I don’t think…” He trails off.

  Just then, Jared’s sister, Cheri, honks from out in the parking lot.

  “Uh, I should get going,” Jared says.

  “Yeah, sure.”

  Will’s friend leaves, and I am left wondering where Chase has sped off to in his abrupt departure. But, really, who am I kidding? I know exactly where he went—to Kyle Tanner’s house. In fact, Chase is probably kicking drug dealer ass right now. Though I understand, it still pains me to accept that Chase was right. He once said that for every step he takes away from his old life, away his former ways of handling things, fate seems to drive him right back to where he once was.

  Isn’t that the truth?

  I sigh and head back to the rectory, resigning myself to the notion that, for as much as things change, and they do, some things will forever remain the same.

  But I can live with that.

  A long time ago, when Chase and I first embarked on this journey of our relationship, I told him that I was in this for the long run. He said he was trouble, and I asked him to be my trouble. I still feel the same way.

  But for all the things we’ve faced up to this point, nothing compares to this. Chase’s brother may actually try to kill someone. He may succeed, too, unless someone stops him, someone like Chase.

  But I am not letting him do this by himself. I intend to go to Vegas with him, since surely that is where he’ll be heading once he’s taken care of Kyle.

  Unfortunately, a few hours later, I discover Chase has no intention of taking me with him to Nevada. He’s bought an airline ticket, oh yes, but only one.

  “Chase, please don’t do this alone,” I beg. “Let me come with you.”

  We are in the upstairs bedroom. Chase is packing, haphazardly throwing things into an open suitcase on his bed. And me, I am standing behind him, begging and pleading, trying to get him to reconsider. But to no avail, as I’m finding that, on this, there’s no changing this stubborn man’s mind.

  When I returned home from work, I found Chase in the living room, seated in front of the computer, just like Will the other day. And same as with his kid brother, Chase was on an airline site, booking a flight to Vegas.

  I leaned against the doorframe and asked him what happened at Kyle’s place, and still typing on the keyboard, he said, “Nothing, really. He was high, and there was no point in beating his ass.”

  “Oh,” I said, surprised, and, to be honest, proud of my man.

  For as much as I don’t like Kyle Tanner, I was still relieved Chase refrained from harming him.

  “That just proves how far you’ve come,” I told him.

  Oddly, he rolled his eyes and made a scoffing noise. And then he finished booking his ticket—a red-eye departing at four in the morning, several hours from now. But Chase plans to leave for the airport tonight, so he can sleep for a while in the boarding area. That’s why he’s rushing around now trying to pack.

  I step in front of the bed and block Chase’s access to the suitcase.

  “Kay,” he mutters, scrubbing a hand down his face in frustration, “I know you want to come with me, but this situation is too crazy. I don’t know what Will’s plans are, not specifically. I have no idea of the kind of people he might try to contact.” He sighs. “I just can’t drag you into something unknown. I love you too much, and it’s safer if you stay here.”

  Chase is set on intercepting Will before his bus arrives in Vegas sometime tomorrow, which is fine. I wholeheartedly agree that his plan is a good one. But I don’t want him doing this alone. What if he gets in some kind of trouble while he’s trying to stop Will? The overlap of the time Chase’s plane arrives in Vegas and the estimated time Will’s bus is due to come in is cutting it close. There’s a good chance Chase will
miss his brother. And, like Chase mentioned, who knows whom Will may try to contact. Who knows where he’ll even go. Maybe Will will just head home, to his mother and Greg’s house, but then again, maybe not.

  Will might go to Cassie’s house, or somewhere else entirely. Lord knows what he’ll do if he’s that dead set on stopping Paul. And if Will involves some shady people in his quest, Chase may very well need me. I’m often the voice of reason; I can keep him calm. Will may need saving, but Chase has been known to need saving, too.

  “Chase,” I begin, switching tactics, “I told you just today that I’ll always be here for you. And now that you need me more than ever, you’re pushing me away.”

  Chase’s expression is pained when he turns to me.

  “It’s not that I don’t want you with me out there. I do, Kay. Trust me, I do.” He shakes his head. “But there’s a good chance things will turn dangerous.” His tortured blues bore into me, like he’s trying to sear into my brain how important his next words are. “And, baby girl, I made a promise to myself a while ago that I will never let my life choices adversely affect you.”

  “And you think by my staying here, I’ll be safe?”

  He nods.

  I counter with, “There are no guarantees, Chase. Look at what happened to Missy.”

  It’s a lame argument, but it has some merit.

  Chase doesn’t buy it, though. “Sure, anything can happen. But you’ll be safer here than in Vegas. And that’s all that matters.”

  I raise an eyebrow, much like he often does. “So, where does that leave you?”

  Chase’s eyes tell me everything he won’t say out loud. And, frankly, that terrifies me. Because it’s clear Chase doesn’t care what happens to him. He would die for his brother.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chase

  Kay just doesn’t get it. I can’t take her to Vegas with me. I want to—God, do I want her by my side—but I foresee nothing but trouble, dangerous trouble, trouble that could quickly turn deadly.

  So how can I, in good conscience, turn a blind eye and let Kay walk into that kind of mess?