* * *
My heaven, but she was lovely!
As Jude followed the slim figure in front of him, he was struck all over again by her beauty. It wasn’t just the way she looked but the way she moved. Oh, there was nothing overtly sexual about it; she certainly didn’t go in for the artful hip swinging that some women employed. No, it was her natural grace that he admired, the straight line of her back, the set of her shoulders, the way she held her head...
He groaned as his mind went flying off again along routes it wasn’t permitted to take. The most disturbing thing of all was that he had never really noticed how a woman walked before. It was as though when he was with Claire he was aware of things that he had never paid any heed to in the past and it scared him. He was getting in way too deep and it had to stop.
‘Here we are.’
Claire stopped when they came to some outbuildings and Jude made a determined effort to rein in his thoughts. Claire wasn’t for him, he reminded himself, needing to keep that thought at the very forefront of his mind. Stepping forward, he tugged at the rusty old padlock that held the doors together.
‘Is there a key for this?’ he asked over his shoulder.
‘Probably, although I’ve no idea where it might be.’
Claire stepped forward, bending so she could examine the lock, and Jude sucked in his breath when her shoulder brushed against his. Even though the contact was the most fleeting imaginable, he could feel waves of heat fanning out from where their flesh had connected. It took every scrap of control he could muster not to let her see the effect it had had on him, too.
‘In that case, it needs drastic action.’ Picking up a stout stick, he pushed it between the hasp and the padlock. A couple of sharp twists and the padlock fell away. He grinned as he kicked it aside. ‘Either that lock was completely knackered or I’m stronger than I thought.’
‘Hmm. I wonder which it is,’ Claire retorted, dryly.
Jude chuckled. It felt remarkably good to be on the receiving end of her teasing, although if anyone else had made fun of him, it would have been a very different story. Once again it was unsettling to realise how differently he behaved when he was with her. He deliberately drove the thought from his mind as he prised open the door. The storeroom was packed from floor to ceiling, the thick layer of dust that coated everything making it impossible to tell what it contained.
‘Heaven only knows what’s in here,’ he said, spluttering a little as he pulled at the edge of a rotting cardboard box, releasing a cloud of dust. ‘The whole place will need clearing out before we can see what’s what.’
‘There’s no way we can sort through this lot on our own,’ Claire observed with a grimace. ‘It will need a whole team of people just to unload all this junk.’
‘It will.’ Jude huffed out a sigh. ‘That knocks my idea on the head, doesn’t it?’
‘Not necessarily.’ She moved aside as he backed out of the storeroom.
Jude raised a questioning brow. ‘That sounds as though you have an idea.’
‘I was wondering if Matt could come up with something,’ she explained. ‘Suffice to say that he has his contacts and it’s just possible that he might be able to lay his hands on an awning or something similar.’
‘Good thinking, Batman!’ Jude exclaimed. He grinned at her. ‘Shall we go and ask him? We may as well strike while the iron’s hot, so to speak.’
‘He was on duty last night, so he’s not in work today,’ she reminded him as they headed back to the hospital.
‘Of course. I’ll catch him later and see what he says.’ He ran his hands over his face to wipe away the perspiration. ‘I can’t remember ever feeling this hot before.’
‘It takes a while to acclimatise,’ she agreed then paused. Jude had a feeling that she was debating what she’d been going to say and held his breath because it had to be something important if she was having second thoughts.
‘How about a swim to cool you down?’ she said finally. She gave a little shrug. ‘There’s over an hour left before evening ward rounds, so there’s plenty of time and it should help to revive you.’
‘Sounds great to me,’ Jude said huskily. Would Claire join him in the water? he wondered, his heart racing at the thought. He cleared his throat, not wanting her to suspect how much the idea appealed to him. ‘Right, which way do we go?’
‘Just down here.’
Once again she took the lead only this time Jude refused to let his mind stray even the tiniest bit off course. He couldn’t afford to indulge himself when he needed to behave with the utmost propriety. He took a deep breath as they set off through the trees. Claire was placing her trust in him and he wouldn’t let her down.
* * *
Claire floated on her back, enjoying the sensation of the cool water lapping over her body. Sunlight filtered through the trees and she closed her eyes, letting the play of light and shadow flicker across her eyelids. She could hear the sound of splashing coming from the far side of the pool but she kept her eyes tightly closed. By tacit consent they had each chosen a section of the pool to swim in and she had to admit that she had been relieved. She still wasn’t sure it had been a good idea to suggest coming here and it would have been so much worse if they had ended up swimming side by side. The thought of Jude’s powerful body so close to hers was far too disturbing.
‘This is great!’
Jude’s voice carried across to her and Claire reluctantly opened her eyes. He was swimming towards her now, his arms cleaving effortlessly through the water. Sunlight glinted off the droplets of water beading his skin, highlighting the perfectly honed muscles in his arms and shoulders, and she felt her mouth go dry. There was no doubt that the sight of him was having an effect on her.
He laughed when he reached her. ‘I may just survive if I can come here and have a dip from time to time. Thank you so much for suggesting it. It was an excellent idea.’
‘You’re welcome.’
Claire bit her lip when she realised how uptight she sounded but it was hard to respond calmly when he was this close to her. She decided that it might be wiser if she got out of the pool and let her feet drift down to the bottom, but the water was deeper than she had thought. She coughed as she sank beneath the surface and swallowed a mouthful of water.
‘Steady!’ Jude gripped her arm and drew her safely back to the surface. He looked at her in concern. ‘Are you all right?’
‘Ye-yes.’ She coughed again, trying to expel the water from her lungs, and his grip tightened.
‘Don’t try to speak. Come on, I’ll help you out.’ Before Claire realised what was happening, he caught hold of her around the waist and lifted her up onto the bank. Levering himself out of the water, he crouched down beside her. ‘Try to relax. The tenser you are, the more difficult it will be to breathe.’
He put his arm around her, obviously trying to encourage her to follow his instructions, but it was impossible. In the absence of anything else, she had opted to swim in the top half of her scrubs. It was something she had done many times before but all of a sudden she was acutely aware of how the wet cotton was clinging to her skin, outlining the curves of her breasts and hips. It was two years since she had been naked in front of a man and even though she wasn’t naked now, it felt as though she was. Unbidden her eyes rose to his and she saw the exact moment when concern changed to something else, an emotion that both scared and excited her. To see such naked desire in Jude’s eyes was something she wasn’t prepared for. When he bent towards her, she didn’t move; she just sat there and waited...
‘Hey there. Looks like you two have beaten us to it!’
Jude drew back abruptly when Lesley appeared closely followed by the rest of the team. He gave Claire a last searching look and she couldn’t fail to see the puzzlement in his eyes before he slid into the water. Claire felt a rush of
panic assail her. Was he wondering why she hadn’t pushed him away? Why she hadn’t given any sign that she didn’t welcome his advances? She knew it was true and it was the last thing she wanted. She didn’t want to give Jude the wrong impression, certainly didn’t want to encourage him, but what had happened just now had shaken her. If they hadn’t been interrupted then who knew where it could have led?
‘It’s a real scorcher of a day, isn’t it? Perfect for a dip,’ Lesley declared cheerfully as she made her way over to where Claire was sitting. The others had already jumped into the water and Claire was relieved to see that Jude had joined them. She turned to her friend, unable to disguise her anxiety.
‘Can I borrow your towel? I didn’t bring one with me.’
‘Of course.’ Lesley handed her the towel, her face filling with concern when she realised how tense Claire looked. ‘Are you all right, love? Nothing’s happened, has it?’ She glanced towards the pool and her mouth thinned. ‘Jude didn’t try anything, did he?’
‘No! Of course not.’ Claire forced herself to smile. ‘He’s been the perfect gentleman.’
‘Good. I’m glad to hear it.’
Lesley returned her smile but Claire could tell that her friend was wondering what had upset her. Shaking out the towel, she wrapped it around herself, not wanting to explain why she was so on edge. If she did that then she would have to tell Lesley why she could never have a relationship with Jude and that wasn’t an option.
‘I think I’ll get changed,’ she said hurriedly. ‘There’s a couple of things I need to do before I go off duty but I’ll pop back with a dry towel for you.’
‘Oh, don’t worry about it. I’ll borrow Kelly’s spare.’ Lesley stripped off her scrubs and dropped them on the ground. She was wearing only her underwear beneath, but she didn’t let that worry her as she slid into the water. ‘See you later,’ she called as she set off across the pool to join the others.
Claire watched her for a moment then turned away and headed back to the hospital. How she envied Lesley and the other women, envied their confidence and their self-assurance. One of the worst things about what had happened was the fact that it had made her doubt herself. Had she given out the wrong signals that night? she wondered for the umpteenth time. She had wanted only to end the relationship but was she to blame for what had happened? Had she—as Andrew had claimed—brought it upon herself?
She bit her lip as the old doubts were joined by fresh ones. Had she done the same thing just now, led Jude to think that she had wanted him to touch her, kiss her? She couldn’t put her hand on her heart and swear it wasn’t true, not when she recalled the effect he’d had on her. Fear rose inside her. It would be so easy to make another mistake. Far too easy with Jude.
CHAPTER EIGHT
JUDE WAS DISAPPOINTED to find that Claire wasn’t in the dining room when he went down for dinner. He hadn’t seen her since she had left the pool and he had been hoping that she would be there that night. Jeremiah’s X-rays had come back and he wanted to discuss them with her—or that was what he had told himself. It had seemed safer than admitting that he desperately wanted to see her.
Jude sighed as he went to the serving hatch. He had come so close to crossing the line today. If they hadn’t been interrupted then he knew that he would have kissed her. He felt guilty as hell about it, too, and yet he couldn’t rid himself of the thought that Claire might not have spurned his advances. Even though he knew it was madness, he couldn’t get the idea out of his head. After all, she must have known what was about to happen, so why hadn’t she stopped him? Why had she sat there, looking at him? It didn’t make sense which was why he needed to speak to her. He mentioned her absence to Lesley as they carried their plates back to the table.
‘What’s happened to Claire tonight?’ he said, deliberately keeping his tone light.
‘She’s gone back to the convent,’ Lesley explained as they sat down. ‘Apparently, the nuns have found some old cartoons and they’re planning to show them to the kids tonight as a treat.’
‘Oh, I see.’ Jude dredged up a smile. He certainly didn’t want Lesley guessing how disappointed he felt. That would only lead to questions and that was the last thing he wanted. ‘Well, I’m sure the children will enjoy them. They’ve been through such a lot, from what I can gather. They deserve a bit of fun.’
‘They do indeed.’ Lesley forked up a mouthful of rice. She chewed and swallowed it then looked at him. ‘Nothing happened today at the pool, did it?’
‘Such as?’ Jude said, feigning surprise although his heart had started pounding.
‘I don’t know. That’s why I’m asking you. Only Claire seemed very...well, uptight, for want of a better word. I wondered if you two had fallen out about something.’
‘No, of course not!’ Jude exclaimed in dismay. ‘Why? Did Claire say that we had?’
‘No. On the contrary, she said you’d been the perfect gentleman.’ Lesley sighed. ‘Take no notice. It’s just that she seemed very tense earlier on and I was wondering if there was a reason for it.’
‘And you’ve no idea what was wrong with her?’ Jude asked, overwhelmed by guilt. Had he completely misread the situation? Far from being receptive, had Claire been upset by what had so nearly happened?
‘None at all. I love Claire to bits. She’s one of the sweetest, kindest people I know, but she doesn’t give much away. I know nothing about her past life, for instance, apart from the fact that she was working in London before she came out here.’ Lesley grimaced. ‘Still, we all have our secrets. I’m just being a nosy old bag!’
Jude laughed as he was expected to do but he couldn’t deny that he felt dreadful. The thought that he had upset Claire was more than he could bear. He wanted to improve her opinion of him, not make it any worse!
* * *
They were halfway through the film show when five-year-old Bebe started crying and clutching her stomach. Claire hurriedly got up and went to her. Crouching down, she laid her hand on the child’s forehead and was dismayed to discover how hot she felt. When Sister Anne came to see what was happening, Claire told her that she would take the little girl to the sick bay. She got Bebe settled in a bed and examined her. It was immediately apparent that the child was in a great deal of pain; she started screaming when Claire gently palpated her abdomen.
‘Shh, sweetheart. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.’
Claire stroked the little girl’s cheek but she had to admit that she was extremely concerned. Although it wasn’t possible to make a conclusive diagnosis, Bebe was exhibiting all the symptoms of appendicitis, and if that were the case then she needed to be seen immediately by a doctor. When Sister Julie came to see what was happening, Claire explained her concerns to her.
‘So what do you suggest, Claire?’ Sister Julie asked anxiously. ‘Shall we try to get hold of a driver and take her to the hospital?’
‘I think it would be far too much for her,’ Claire replied, glancing at the little girl. ‘She’s in tremendous pain and being jolted over all those potholes will only make matters worse. No, we need to get one of the doctors to come here and see her.’
‘In that case I shall radio the hospital and see what they can arrange.’
Sister Julie hurried away, leaving Claire to watch over the child. She fetched a bowl of tepid water and gently sponged Bebe’s face and neck. The child’s high temperature worried her most of all as it could signify that her appendix had perforated and that peritonitis had set in, and that was extremely serious. It was a relief when she heard footsteps coming along the corridor some time later, heralding the arrival of one of the doctors from the Worlds Together team.
Claire straightened up, the welcoming smile freezing on her lips when Jude followed Sister Julie into the room. For some reason she hadn’t expected him to respond to their call for assistance and it threw her comple
tely off balance to see him standing there. In a fast sweep, her eyes travelled from the top of his gleaming black hair to the tips of his expensively shod feet and she only just managed to bite back her groan as another image promptly superimposed itself on the reality before her. Now all she could see was Jude as he had looked that afternoon, his powerful body gleaming with moisture as he had sat on the edge of the pool, looking at her with such hunger in his eyes.
Her breath caught because she knew it was an image that was going to stay with her for a long time to come.
* * *
‘There’s a strong chance her appendix has perforated.’
Jude moved away from the bed and went over to the sink to wash his hands. He glanced round, doing his best to contain his feelings when Claire remained at the child’s bedside. Maybe he should put it down to concern for their patient; however, he suspected there was a very different reason why she appeared so keen to maintain her distance from him. Once again he felt a rush of guilt rise up inside him so that it was an effort to concentrate when she spoke.
‘I did wonder if it might be that with her running such a high temperature.’
Her voice was cool, in keeping with her overall demeanour since he had arrived, and Jude sighed. If he had upset her then he wished to heaven that she would come out and say so. Treating him with this icy politeness only made him feel worse!
‘If peritonitis has set in then her temperature will be elevated,’ he replied gruffly. He dried his hands and went back to the bed, taking care not to encroach on her personal space. He’d committed enough sins for one day! ‘I’ll need to operate immediately and see what’s going on. If her appendix has ruptured, the longer the delay, the worse the outcome will be. Is there anywhere suitable here at the convent or will we need to transfer her to hospital? I’d like to avoid that if it’s possible,’ he added.
‘Actually, the convent used to have its own hospital. Apparently, the nuns used to run it before the uprising. It was closed then but I know there was an operating theatre,’ Claire explained then grimaced. ‘However, it’s not been used for years, so I’ve no idea what state it’s in.’
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