Broken Lives

by Brenda Kennedy

  “I’m sorry. I think she was buying drugs across the street from the office,” I say, and another stray tear slides down my cheek.

  “She probably was. I didn’t tell you, but when I was at the house yesterday, some things were missing.”

  “Things? What kind of things?”

  “Both of the televisions were gone. I took everything I could yesterday and I went back today to get the rest of my and Rae’s things.” He cracks his knuckles and adds, “Molly can have everything else that’s left in the house. I just wanted to get everything that Rae owned out of there. I don’t want her affected by her mother’s actions.”

  I stand up and walk over to him. “I’m sorry, I can’t even begin to imagine what it is like for you and Raelynn.” He takes my hand and I sit on his lap.

  “God, Baby, please just always listen to your heart. I will never lie to you. Please tell me you know that.”

  “I do, and I am so sorry.”

  “I met with Mason’s sister today. Madison is a Realtor, and she is going to sell the house. I also went to see Molly’s parents today. I told them whatever was left in the house Molly can have. They said they haven’t seen her, but they are going over tomorrow with a U-Haul to clear the house out.”

  “Alec, there isn’t anything in there you want?”

  “I have everything I want: my daughter.”

  I change for bed, putting on a pair of black yoga pants and a white tank top. I help Alec put the sheets and blankets on the couch for him to sleep on. Once it is made up, I lie down with him. He scoots back as far as he can and I snuggle up with him. “Emma, promise me, if Molly tries to talk to you, you’ll walk away. Baby, she is nothing but trouble and I don’t want you anywhere near her.”

  “I will, so don’t worry about me. I can take care of myself.”

  Alec

  I take the kids to school before heading to work. Emma and I decided tonight we’ll take the kids out for dinner and shop for a bedroom suite for her spare room. She slept all night on the couch with me, and I know she also woke up with a cramped neck. Around 1:00 pm we get a call they are bringing in a female who overdosed on heroin. She has coded once during transport and her vitals are dangerously low. I say a silent prayer that it isn’t Molly, although I expect it will be. When they bring her in, I am relieved to see it isn’t Molly, but my heart breaks for the deceased woman’s family. She coded again during transport and was pronounced dead shortly after arriving at the hospital. After she coded, even C.P.R. wasn’t enough to save her.

  I walk into the waiting area and several family members are huddled together, crying. I clear my throat and they walk towards me with tear-stained cheeks. The petite, dark-haired woman is holding onto a man. Two other girls and a boy, all in their late teens, are standing nearby.

  “Are you the family of Elizabeth Edwards?”

  “I’m her father, this is her mother, and these are Lizzy’s brother and two sisters. How is Lizzy? Can we see her?”

  “I’m sorry to have to tell you…”

  “No, God, please, no. Not my little girl.” The woman cries.

  I try to swallow the lump in my throat before speaking again. I hate this part of my job. There is nothing worse than to have to tell someone that their loved one didn’t make it.

  “I’m sorry. We did everything we could for her.”

  The man tries to comfort his wife and children as he attempts to hold himself together. “Can we see her?” he asks in a cracked voice.

  “Of course. Just give us a few minutes and I’ll send someone out to get you.”

  “Thank you.” Tears slide down his cheek as he turns to sit with his family.

  I walk back into the room and tell the nurses that as soon as they are done, the family would like to see her. I look at the deceased patient and see that she has needle tracks running up and down the length of both of her arms. “Please, if you can, make sure her arms are covered up. They don’t need to see those.”

  A nurse looks at me and follows my eyes to the patient’s arms. “Ok, Doctor, we’ll take care of it.”

  Florida has a terrible drug problem with illegal and prescription drugs. Because Florida is so close to international waters, Florida highways and the Interstate Highway System prove to be a great source to transport drugs from other countries into the United States.

  I do some charting and watch as the family walks into the exam room. I hear loud crying, and I give them some time alone. When the crying calms, I walk into the room and offer them water, coffee, and soda. The mother walks over to me, hugs me, and thanks me for everything I did for her Lizzy. They watch as Elizabeth’s dad holds her hand and the children sob as they mourn the death of their older sister. They begin to share stories of Elizabeth in happier times. I learn that she was a cheerleader in high school and an A/B honor student. The kids tell stories about how their older sister would watch them and play games and read stories to them.

  A teenage girl who was Elizabeth’s sister says, “I remember when Elizabeth invented Monster Spray. When we were young, we were afraid of monsters in the dark, so Elizabeth sprayed Monster Spray in the bedroom to keep the monsters away from us. When we were older, we learned that Monster Spray is plain water in a Windex spray bottle. Elizabeth made a Monster Spray label to cover up the Windex label.”

  I think: Apparently, almost anyone can start taking illegal drugs. As comedian Bill Hicks has said, all it takes is the wrong boyfriend or girlfriend, the wrong friends, and/or the wrong bar.

  The nurse wheels in a cart with fresh fruit, snacks, juice, and coffee on it. I stand with the nurse and tell them to take all the time they need. I also tell them that if they need anything, ask. I nod and make eye contact with everyone before leaving.

  I give a very somber report to the oncoming shift before I shower and change before going home. I call Emma on my way home and tell her about my day. Some days you just need to debrief and some days you don’t.

  I pull up at Emma’s; she is waiting for me on the front porch. She is wearing a yellow sundress and black heels. She smiles when she sees me — it is just what I needed. James and Raelynn come running off the porch with their arms open for me. I kneel down and hug them both as tight as I can without hurting them. I stand and carry them both up the stairs and kiss Emma. Rae and James giggle, kick, and start screaming something about cooties. I lower them to the ground and they take off running in the house.

  “Did you bring cooties home again, Doctor?” She smiles.

  “I guess I did.”

  “I’m sorry about your day.”

  “Thank you. I’m just glad to be home.”

  “You look beat. Do you want me to cook and we can shop for a bed some other time?”

  “No, I’m fine with shopping. I don’t think my neck can take another week on that couch of yours,” I say, moving my head side to side.

  “Would a massage help?” She smiles.

  “Is that an offer?”

  “Maybe.”

  “Now that I think of it, maybe I can keep sleeping on your couch.” I laugh.

  The kids, Emma, and I go to dinner at Yoder’s Restaurant in the Amish Village in Sarasota. It’s small and quaint with delicious food. We all have the baked chicken, mashed potatoes, noodles, and their homemade bread with apple butter. Mason’s mom and dad walks in and I introduce them to Emma and James; they already know Raelynn. Mason and I share the same social circle.

  When the food comes out, I am quickly reminded about the large portions that make up their meals. No one was able to finish our meals, so we got the rest to take home with us. Sometimes I think that one serving of Yoder’s sweet-potato fries weighs three pounds.

  Once I settle up the check, we go to Bears Furniture, which is also in Sarasota. Emma and I decide on a masculine mahogany queen-size bed, dresser, chest of drawers, and two night stands.

  She stands at the register with her credit card in hand. “Emma, what are you doing?”

  “Alec, I’m
paying for the bedroom suite. It’s my house, and I have needed it for a long time.”

  “Emma, put your credit card away.”

  Emma looks at the salesclerk and hands him her credit card. I clear my throat and shake my head at the salesman. He hands Emma back her card, then takes mine.

  “Alec?”

  “Emma?” I smile.

  I sign the receipt and put a rush on the delivery. Next we go and pick out bedding and curtains for the bedroom. Emma and Raelynn decide on pink and lavender circles while James decides on ninjas and I pretend to agree with him. Actually, I like a black sheet set. We leave the store empty handed since we can’t decide on one set we all like.

  At home, we help the kids with their homework, baths, and bedtime prayers. Emma and I talk about my day at work and the death of the young girl who overdosed. I admit to her I was afraid it was Molly they were bringing in when we got the call. I explain to Emma that Raelynn and I never talk about Molly. I try hard to avoid all conversations about Molly when Rae is around. Rae knows her mother was “sick” and that is all she knows. I explain to Emma that I don’t love Molly, but I don’t want her dead either.

  “Do you remember that I told you I saw Molly buying drugs across the street yesterday?” She holds my hand.

  “Yes, I remember. Was she there again today?”

  “No, Brea called the police department and asked if they could start patrolling the area more often, and they did.”

  “That’s good. I didn’t realize that was a traffic area for drugs,” I say sadly.

  “If I didn’t see Molly, I never would have known what was going on. It’s sad to think that drug abuse happens so close to home,” she says.

  “I see it pretty often at work but you… you are so innocent. You have probably never been around it, or seen it.” I tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear and caress her cheek.

  “I don’t think I’m that innocent, but I have never been exposed to drugs before. I was very blessed. I met Max in high school, and he was such a good person. I really hung out only with him.”

  “See, you are very innocent.” I smile and she leans into me.

  Chapter Three: Facing the Truth

  Emma

  Raelynn and I go to Max’s mom and dad’s house and start to set up for James’ birthday party while Alec takes James out to pick up his cake and some balloons for the party. I called and asked Alec’s mom and dad to come to the party early because I want them to meet Cheryl and Danny before everyone arrives. It is very important that John and Doris understand my relationship with Danny and Cheryl. I love them, and they will always be my family — no matter what.

  John and Doris pull up, and Raelynn runs to the car to meet them. Danny and Cheryl remain on the front porch while I walk to the car to greet them. I hug them both and Rae takes John’s hand and walks him to the porch. I introduce everyone and watch as they make pleasantries. John tells them he and Doris are very sorry to hear of their son’s passing.

  “Thank you, we appreciate that. He was a wonderful son, husband, and father,” Cheryl says sadly.

  “I assume the gold star banner in your flower bed is for Max,” John says.

  “You must be a military man, for you to know that.” Danny smiles.

  “I served four years in the Air Force,” John says proudly.

  Cheryl asks, “Doris, would you like to see the flower garden? It’s a tribute to our son, Max.”

  “Yes, I would love to. Thank you.”

  “I have a feeling they are going to start talking about the military,” Cheryl laughs as she walks off the porch with Doris behind her.

  John and Danny get a beer and sit outside in the shade while Raelynn and I fill the rest of the party favor bags. I am happy to see that Danny and Cheryl have accepted Alec’s parents. I love Alec, and I will always love Danny and Cheryl. They have shared the worst time of my life, and I will always be a part of their family. Even if Max is gone and I remarry, they will always be my family.

  The party is an exercise in controlled chaos. Alec’s sister and both of his brothers came with their families. Brea, Sara, and Angel also came, along with some kids from James’ school and taekwondo. Brooke, Brice, and the boys are also here. Good thing we had it here. My house is too small for all these people. Some of the kids are in the jump house, and some are still eating pizza. I am surprised to see how well everyone is mingling and fitting in. At one time, Cheryl threw lots of parties and she even had a party-planning business. But after Max’s death, sadness consumed her. She stopped working and stopped hosting parties. Today she is laughing and smiling. People are complimenting her on her home and artistic talents. I can see the old Cheryl begin to come back to life.

  I sit back and smile.

  “This is some party,” Alec says, kissing the shell of my ear.

  “It sure is. Did you happen to notice how well everyone is getting along?”

  “I did. It looks like my dad, your dad, and Max’s dad are getting along very well.”

  I laugh, “That is a lot of dads.”

  “I’m sorry, Emma, but someone is at the door for you,” Cheryl says, passing by to fill the punchbowl up with more juice.

  “It must be someone’s mother. I’ll be just a minute.”

  “Ok, I’ll monitor the jump house. Is there a weight limit or a capacity limit on that?”

  “I’m sure there is, but the kids shouldn’t exceed that,” I say, walking away.

  “It’s not the kids I’m worried about; my brothers and Brice are in there.”

  “As long as they don’t bust it, we are in good shape.”

  I get to the front porch and a woman has her back to me. I say, “Hi, may I help you?”

  She turns around and I take a step back. Molly is standing in front of me. Her dark hair is dirty and matted, her clothing is dirty and wrinkled, and her skin is pale. “What do you want?” I ask.

  “I think you know exactly what I want.”

  “How did you find me here?”

  “I told you, Emma. I have been watching you.”

  “Molly, you need to go. This isn’t a place for you.”

  “My husband and daughter are here. I think that makes it a place where I should be. Don’t you, you little home wrecker? I think most of the people here would like to know what you are.”

  “Molly, you are not welcome here.”

  “Why? Because you don’t want people to know what kind of person you are? You think Alec is such a great catch? You are sadly mistaken. I told you that he isn’t the man you think he is.”

  “Emma, Cheryl thinks it’s time to cut the cake,” Brooke says. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you have company.”

  “I don’t.”

  “I’m sorry, ma’am. I must have the wrong house. I hope I didn’t interrupt your son’s party.” Molly gives me an icy stare.

  I get a cold chill and run my hands up and down my arms. “You definitely have the wrong house.”

  Molly walks away, and I just watch her. I can’t move.

  “Emma, who’s that?”

  “That was Molly.”

  “Emma, go and tend to the cake and I’ll find out what Molly wants,” Brooke says, walking off the porch towards Molly.

  “Brooke, wait.” I watch her walk down the street after Molly. Oh, this can’t be good.

  I walk to the backyard and see James sitting in front of his ninja-shaped birthday cake, smiling.

  “Is everything all right?” Alec asks.

  I look at him and say, “Molly’s here and Brooke went after her. They are out front in the street.”

  He doesn’t say anything but quickly walks away in the direction of the front of the house.

  “Emma?” my mom yells.

  I look up — everyone is looking at me. James is sitting on his knees, and Cheryl and my mom are standing by the cake lighting his birthday candles. I smile and walk over and stand next to James. “That’s a lot of candles; do you think you can blow them all ou
t?”

  “Momma, I’m big. I can blow them all out — watch me.”

  “All right. I will. Remember to make a wish first.”

  We sing “Happy Birthday” and I watch my son as he excitedly looks at his candles and takes a deep breath. He closes his eyes tightly before he blows out all of his candles at once. I smile brightly and we all clap once all the candles are blown out. James hugs me and then hugs his grandparents. I look around the yard and when I don’t see Brooke or Alec, I walk over to John, Alec’s dad.

  “Quite a party, huh, Emma?”

  “It sure is. John, Molly is out front with Alec and Brooke. Would you mind going to see what’s going on?”

  “I’m sure it’s nothing. Just give me a few minutes and we’ll be back.”

  James is almost finished unwrapping his gifts when John, Alec, and Brooke return to the party. I don’t leave James’ side. I look at Alec, and he smiles at me. I can’t be certain whether or not it’s a genuine smile. I look at Brooke, but she doesn’t look at me while she walks over to join her husband and sons. I can usually read Brooke, but I need to make eye contact with her.

  “Is everything all right?” I ask, when Alec stands near me.

  “It’s fine. I gave her money and she left. I’m sorry you had to be exposed to that.”

  “I’m fine, but I’m worried about you and Raelynn.”

  “Don’t worry about us.” He wraps his arms securely around me and I feel safe.

  “I love you.”

  He kisses the top of my head and says, “I love you, too.”

  “Some gifts for Raelynn are on the table,” I say, looking over to Alec.

  “Someone brought gifts for Raelynn? That was really nice of them.”

  We watch as Raelynn and James open the last of the few gifts left on the table. Raelynn smiles when she opens a baby doll from Danny and Cheryl, a karaoke machine from my mom and dad, and a Barbie doll and clothes from Alec’s mom and dad.

  Once the gifts are all opened, the kids all play in the bounce house while they wait to be picked up. Sara, Angel, and Brea leave first, then Alec’s sister, brothers, and their families leave next. Alec’s parents are last to leave right after Brooke and her family.