Love UnCharted (Love's Improbable Possibility)

by Belvin, Love

  I did hear him say, “I’ll go over the proposal and give you my deliberations as soon as I can.” on a chuckle. She was flirting with him, but he wasn’t prepared to reciprocate. My fists clenched at my sides. Some women have no dignity!

  With that, he started back over to me and placed his free hand on the small of my back, warming me as we walked out of the cafeteria. I couldn’t address Dawn’s childish attempts at his attention, I wasn’t prepared to play the role of the jealous girlfriend without actually being the girlfriend.

  “Are you okay? Why did you rise so slowly from the table…and since when don’t you wear your suit jacket after rising from the table?” After dispersing my words I recognized them as the typical nagging girlfriend’s jargon. Ugh!

  Without skipping a beat, he lowered his mouth to my ear and whispered, “Since you walked into my place of business wearing that and causing this.” He partially removed his suit jacket from his abdomen to reveal his massive erection through his pants. I gasped and tripped on the way out of the door. Azmir politely caught me with his free arm, helping me regain my balance, nearly seamlessly. I studied his impassive profile while trying to keep up with his stride. “Don’t worry. If you go to the car and give me a minute out of your presence, it’ll go away. I’ll meet you in the parking lot.”

  En route to the apartment my stomach was still uneasy, but likely because it was time for me to eat. On our way back, Azmir picked up an order of rice from one of my favorite authentic Mexican restaurants. I loved the way they seasoned even plain white rice.

  We were sitting at the dining room table and Azmir was feeding me from the container. He raised the spoon to serve me more rice when I shook my head.

  “No?” he asked in disbelief.

  I shook my head again.

  “We agreed on ten spoonfuls.”

  “We said I’d try to get to ten spoonfuls. I can’t fit anymore in after six.”

  He glared at me with suspicious eyes. “I understand that you’re sick and all—”

  “…was sick,” I interrupted him.

  “…was sick, but this is all you’ve eaten since I left you this morning,” he protested. “C’mon, Brimm. I need you healthy again.”

  “I am fine. I’ve been toilet-free since yesterday morning. The worst of it is over. I’ll start focusing on my hydration.” I took a sip of my bottled Evian water to placate him. “See?” I gave him a wink that awarded me a sexy smile.

  “So what now?” Azmir tapped his fingers leisurely.

  “What do you mean? You said you left work early to start preparing for tomorrow’s trip,” I quizzed.

  He scrunched his eyes and shook his head as he scoffed. “You’re incredulous, you know that?”

  “What do you mean? You did say that in the cafeteria.”

  “Yes, I did, but even the simplest of men would know that I was referring to you. I wanted to make sure you were well or at least in stable condition before I travel. So, you—you were my preparations. I wanted time to observe you in case I need to cancel the trip.” He sounded slightly annoyed.

  I felt as though the joke was on me. I didn’t know he was so thoughtful. I was still processing his good deeds over the past forty-eight hours.

  “Azmir, you would cancel business for me?” I didn’t recognize my own voice. I couldn’t begin to accept his care, I didn’t know how.

  Shaking his head again, he mumbled, “I can’t believe this.” But spoke louder when he asked, “If I were not here and you were one hundred percent well, what would you be doing?”

  “Hmmmmm…I realized how dirty my hair was when I got dressed earlier. It definitely needs a wash and before my trip to Adrian on Saturday morning. Ewwwwww!” I cringed as I scratched my head.

  He let out an exhale. “Come on.”

  Come on? Where? I followed him to the bedroom where he removed his pants and started unbuttoning his shirt. I scratched my head in confusion, “What are we doing?” It disturbed me that I was getting turned on by the mere sight of his smooth skin.

  “We’re going to wash your hair. You typically do it in the shower, right?”

  “Yes…”

  “Well, come on.” He walked into the bathroom and I swallowed the abundant amount of saliva that was collecting in my mouth. I started peeling off my cat-suit—my lucky cat-suit. I gave myself a smug look in the mirror. I had scored with Dawn Taylor. Next time I want to totally eliminate her.

  Azmir yelled out from the bathroom, “Your shampoos are in here, correct?” breaking me from my reverie.

  “Errr…Yeah,” I replied.

  A part of me was apprehensive about getting into the shower with a naked Azmir. What if I got aroused as I always did by it? Would he turn me away after having seen and smelled me over the past two days? I could never survive rejection from him. I decided it was too late, there was nothing that I could do at that point, so I went into the bathroom to step into the shower.

  The bathroom had started to steam, but I could still see his tall chocolate frame standing near the toiletry rack where he held my shampoo bottle. I nodded my head in agreement and he waved for me to come nearer. My heart rate accelerated and instantly I had no doubt that my sexual appetite had returned.

  Azmir’s hands were divine on my scalp. He massaged it firmly, but not too rough. A few moans escaped during his treatment. Even Adrian’s miracle hands had nothing on Azmir’s. He washed my hair twice and then applied conditioner. I couldn’t believe that he even went the length of combing the conditioner through before rinsing it.

  “Turn around,” he commanded after he was done with the comb. I regrettably knew it was time for him to rinse me and this unbearably pleasurable experience would be over. I turned to face him as he asked, and for the first time since the initial shampoo application, I opened my eyes. As Azmir’s arms were extended, working his deft fingers in my hair, I saw his chest muscles flex at every movement. His abdomen muscles were perfectly pronounced. I could never tire from experiencing the sight of him in the nude. Immediately, he caught my ogling, making me self-consciously embarrassed for sneaking a peek at him. He flashed his coochie-creaming smile and I was done.

  “Somebody’s excited,” he sang teasingly, gesturing to my hardened nipples, causing me to cover them with my hands.

  Why did I suddenly feel so shy? I guess it’s because usually when Azmir and I are naked in front of each other it is well known that we’re going to make love, but on this rare occasion it wasn’t expected. I was afraid to be forward, fearing rebuff. Then I thought if Azmir was so disgusted by me he wouldn’t put himself in a situation to be naked with me. As he rinsed my conditioner out he massaged the back of my head, firmly gripping my lower skull and thumbing behind my ears. It reminded me of what he did when I went down on him.

  Suddenly my modesty felt silly and I dropped my hands from breasts. I was surprised when I hit his very long, very thick, very hard, and very erect penis. My mouth dropped as I instantly lost control of my breathing and my eyes shot up to his face.

  He didn’t look me in the face when he coolly and slowly murmured, “Calm down, Brimm. I am a thirty-seven year old man. I can’t help my reaction to you, but I can certainly control my actions. You’re ill. I would never take advantage of your weakened state.”

  How did he know I didn’t want him to take advantage of me? At that point, I was prepared to take advantage of him!

  “I am going to wash your body now. Okay?”

  My words failed me and all I could do was nod my head. He took his time scrubbing soapy bubbles over my body including my now sunken belly. I really need to step on a scale. Although I’d still experienced pain in some areas, the nerve endings embedded in my skin were overly–sensitive to his gentle contact. It was as if his touch dulled the pain. When he was done, I asked to wash him returning the favor, but he wasn’t too keen on the idea.

  “Brimm, I’m not sure I can handle that. You’re still fragile. I could feel your wincing at my trace.” Little di
d he know those winces were of pleasure.

  “No. I want to do this,” I demanded, grabbing his cloth and lathering it up.

  I started with his broad shoulders and extended out to his arms. Next was his carved chest then muscular abdomen, leading down to his silky trail. I dropped down to his perfectly molded legs and started washing at the thighs, but kept hitting my head on his erection. It was so long and heavy that I couldn’t avoid it. My insides quivered and I was happy he couldn’t hear my moan over the sounds of the cascading water. I didn’t know how long I could spend washing his legs, it really wasn’t a complicated body part. I was trying to steal time to talk myself out of what my body yearned. I just couldn’t deal with rejection. I gave up and rose to my feet, bumping my head against him once again. How embarrassing!

  Once fully standing and facing head on with his chest he said, “Thanks,” with a generous smile.

  I grabbed my wash cloth and began washing my private parts, unable to look at him. I heard my labored breathing rushing through my head. I was so sensitive down there as I rubbed to wash and rinse. Azmir stood against one of the wall faucets, allowing the water from it to spring into his lower back. I knew he was waiting on me to finish so we could leave the shower together.

  I couldn’t resist anymore, I walked over to him and pushed my head into his chest, feeling exhausted from my internal battle. I couldn’t tell him that I wanted him desperately, and feared his indifference. He pulled me into an embrace and without knowing for sure what it meant, that’s all it took for me to take to my knees once more, slowly as my body still ached, and hungrily take him into my mouth devouring him.

  “Rayna…you. Don’t. Have. To…” he spoke in laborious breaths.

  Something I’d never experienced before overtook me. I became besieged with a raw emotion and unyielding need to communicate something to him. I pulled and sucked with the desperation I felt for him in that moment, for the gratitude I felt, for his gentle care, for the desire I had to claim him against the likes of Dawn Taylor. Beyond anything I needed physically, feelings that I couldn’t describe surfaced in that shower. I wanted the opportunity to care for him the way he had me over the past few days. I wanted to be with Azmir forever.

  Possibilities of being capable of loving and partnering with him for a lifetime flashed through my heart as my head bobbed in his lap. I needed his love, suddenly acknowledging that I couldn’t live without it. I didn’t want him up for grabs because I wanted him all to myself. I was longing, almost frantically.

  “Gah! Fuck!” he yelped in a way I had never heard before that point. It was unintended, unguarded and guttural. Did he feel what I did? He could have by the sounds of the aching in his voice. “Rayna, wait…wait. Wait!” he whispered. But I couldn’t stop. I was just as emotionally hungry as I was sexually.

  “You’re about to make me…NO!” he said just under a shout when he pulled me up by shoulders, lifting me into the air with his strong and capable arms.

  “Can you hang on?” With burning desire pouring from his voice, he was asking if I could straddle him.

  So turned on, I panted, “Yes!”

  “Are you sure? I don’t want to hurt you…or turn you off.”

  Those were the magic words. I lunged at Azmir and covered his mouth with mine. I needed him so bad in that moment. As we kissed so wildly and urgently, he slowly entered me, strteching me and causing me to yelp from the pressure.

  “You okay?” he asked anxiously. I was disturbed that he had pulled out of me and cradled my trembling frame to keep me in the air.

  “No…go…GO!” I screamed.

  He turned so that I was against the wall and pushed my body into his, pushing into me. His tardigrade movements were unintentional torturous thrusts. I was insanely desperate for him to plummet me. Precipitating more, I threw my tongue into his mouth, hoping he would catch on to me not wanting to lose a second of passion. I wanted his roughness.

  “Harder!” I begged, caught up in lecherous fury.

  Azmir couldn’t be close enough. Couldn’t be deep enough. I wanted him so far into me that he could feel my expressions and need of love without me having to speak them. I yearned for that deep of a connection with him. I wanted him to sense my desire of forever.

  In no time, he pounded into me as though he had an idea of my desperation. Off were the kiddie gloves used in light of my condition and rushing in were the wild slams into my core. He was losing control. I relished every thrust. I could see the muscles in his neck strain as he pumped into me.

  The sounds of our bodies smacking was intoxicating and I knew Azmir was content because he loved the sounds of making love. I could swear the tip of his penis connected with my heart with every thrust. But I wanted more. Needed all of him. Totally. Completely. Permanently.

  In no time, I withdrew my mouth because that quickly I was on the verge of my orgasm. I leaned back to give him full access to my sex. My body tensed and I held my breath to brace myself. I was too sore to work with him. But it was apparent that I didn’t have to because the next thing I knew, I was screaming and convulsing from a violent orgasm that took no prisoners on my feeble body.

  “Azmir, I want to do this forever. Please love me…forever!” I screamed out in pleasure of his deeds, and at the same time from the fear of breaking into two from the intensity.

  Azmir exploded in the middle of my orgasm, crying declarations of insanity. “You are fucking everything. I could… Never. My. Life!”

  That was the shortest length of a love making session we’d had at that point. It was as though something bigger than what we could understand was taking place.

  And I was the better for it.

  Chapter 2

  Azmir

  I walked into the bathroom to check on Rayna. She sat at the vanity cross-legged, combing her damp hair. A part of me felt guilty for having her a few minutes ago in the shower. I had no intentions on touching her. Shit—I was able to shower with her twice the day before with very little temptation. She’d been sick and it had been difficult for me to see her in that condition. She was very forward in inviting me to herself. Hell, she fell to her knees and put her mouth on my cock. What the fuck was I supposed to do—apply the patience of a priest? Not when Rayna is concerned. I’d never have the fortitude to deny her of a goddamned thing.

  I’m a caring man, but a man with a sexual appetite no doubt. I’d just hope that I didn’t take advantage of her. Rayna’s body has always been tempting to me, what I craved all day. I enjoy making her come, feeling her clamp me while I’m balls deep inside her. It invades my every thought. Hearing her screaming my name, begging for forever caused me to lose myself in there. It’s exactly what I’d wanted with her. I’d just hoped her plea wasn’t just an act in the heat of passion. I am a patient mam, but I would hope all this time we had been building something solid. Something forever. I also hope that I didn’t scare her by slipping up with my true feelings of her encompassing my world. My life.

  I tapped her shoulder as I watched her in the mirror. “You okay?”

  “Mmmmm…hmmmm!” she hummed with satiated smile.

  “Are you sure? You were acting like a damn cowgirl in there. I know you like the rodeo and all, but you’re still recovering,” I said in jest.

  “Mr. Jacobs, you got jokes?” Rayna playfully rolled her eyes as she worked on brushing her entangled mane. Rayna’s beauty was breathtaking. She wasn’t the most diva-ish woman I’ve met, and she didn’t have to be. Her splendor was so natural that it was exotic. I could watch her all day, but didn’t. I’d already roughed her up in the shower, fucking her like I’d lost my goddamn mind. That’s because I feel like I do each time I’m buried deep in her. I just wish I could navigate into her heart the same way.

  “I’m going to warm up dinner. What can I get you?” I forced my mind out of self-pity land.

  “Chef Boyd made some concoction for me in there. I’ll have that. I’m really not ready to resume my normal diet.”

/>   “Yet,” I said before turning on my heels for the kitchen.

  “Huhn?” She stilled in the mirror.

  I turned back to find her eyes glued to me through the vanity mirror. “You’ve lost a few pounds already. I don’t like it. Stop burning calories in the shower and allow your body to rest so that you can heal and return to your normal eating.” I was partially teasing, but very serious about the weight comment.

  Rayna narrowed her beautiful brown eyes, but wisely chose to not respond.

  For the rest of the evening we ate and talked about our upcoming week. Rayna reminded me that she had a show on Saturday and that she invited The Clan. I wasn’t too thrilled about that, but was happy to see she felt comfortable enough to extend herself to my people. They were a major point of contention for Tara and me during our relationship. She never took to them no matter how polite and inclusive they tried being with her. I was grateful to Rayna for accepting that aspect of my life, of me. Syn didn’t make Rayna’s efforts unproblematic. Her animosity for Rayna was incredibly palatable, you would think they knew each other in a former life. As much as it initially concerned me, it now reminds me how much of a kindred spirit Rayna is. It’s as if she’s familiar with Syn’s kind and therefore manages her without losing her cool and laying a hand on her—yet.

  And when I think about the tension between Rayna and Dawn, I get uneasy. I’m not the type of man who enjoys or encourages my woman’s insecurities to flare at the threat of another sniffing up my tree. I know Dawn wants me, but so do dozens of women. I’ve been pursued by and on the wish-list of many eager dames in my life. I keep in shape, bag my swag, and my money takes it all to a new level. And even with knowledge of these things, I only have eyes for one woman, whom for some reason cannot understand my exclusive commitment to her.

  I found it cute how Rayna “popped” up at a business luncheon of mine fiending for betrayal blood. Dawn seemed prepared for her, too, which opened the floodgates for a surge of revelations concerning her. I don’t want Rayna losing her cool around Dawn either. She isn’t worth it. No one is worth me losing Rayna.