Love UnCharted (Love's Improbable Possibility)

by Belvin, Love

  Adrian dramatically closed his eyes in slow speed, opening them again with new found resolve. “Okay, Cookie. We’ll cut it off something fabulous.” He acquiesced with a slow, impassive nod as he reached for my hand to assist me from the chair.

  An hour later, I walked out of the salon with the autumn sun kissing my neck. It felt good, bold—new! And I loved it. I needed it. I needed a diversion from my reality. From the pain. Adrian cut and styled my hair an asymmetrical length with one side reaching my ear and the other beneath my chin. He styled it so well that my wavy curls were silky and bouncy, almost resembling a texturized style. I was contented, even if only temporarily. My first anti-A.D. move. And I was damned proud.

  LaWanda postponed our weekly Bible group study meeting earlier that week and rescheduled it for this evening. I decided it was best to get out of the house to keep my sanity, so I headed over to her place for a lovely Bible study. The ladies were crass as usual, but a much needed distraction. To my good fortune, no one asked about Azmir. I guess time does wonders for trivial matters such as shacking with a tall, chocolate, handsome, and apparently rich man.

  My fortune continued on Sunday when no one was pressed to sit next to me again. I liked my privacy and keeping a distance between associates. Sad to say, since Michelle’s passing, the only person I could tolerate for more than an hour was Chanell and her crazy butt. While in church that Sunday, I laughed to myself, thinking of her and all of her outlandish ways. She was truly a delight and I made a note to call her to see if she wanted to hang out soon. Unless she felt otherwise, she was still a friend of mine. I had hoped.

  Monday came around very emotionally for me. I’d stayed up the night before crying and menacing over my breakup with Azmir. My body craved him like a drug and my heart mourned the death of his presence. In all honesty, it hurt like hell that he hadn’t reached out to me. I thought he’d at least try to fight for another chance at us. Had he taken on his plan B—Dawn Taylor? Did he finally see what I feared, driving my decision to leave—that we were no good together? My heart weighed so heavy and not mention, the unnerving throbbing between my legs only added to my blues.

  I managed through my workout with Tyler, but not without him noticing my lack of vigor. He didn’t say much other than he saw it and wasn’t happy with my performance. The remainder of the morning I coordinated the set up of the full staff meeting over at the rec center. They loaned us the large penthouse conference room that was one floor above Azmir’s administrative offices. I had Sharon and the intern running back and forth to set up the room while I saw my morning patients.

  When noon rolled around, I was still in with a patient, but was cognizant of the time as I knew the staff meeting had begun. My superiors were informed of my layover appointment and that I would be at least thirty minutes late. I returned to my office at close to a quarter after and sat at my desk. I felt exhausted and melancholy. I scraped together my things, searching my drawers for a writing pad when I laid eyes on my iPad that Azmir had sent over last week. I’d forgotten all about it and seeing it lying there intensified my blues. My stomach fluttered and my soul felt void. “I gotta be strong…move on!” Blu sang in I’ll Find A Way. I repeated those lines like a mantra all the way out the door.

  The lobby of the rec center was flooded with folks coming and going, mostly whisking through to the cafeteria. I’d seemed to be the only body with a leisure amble in the entry way. I saw young Mark Littlejohn, a front desk receptionist, assisting someone at the desk. He was the same kid who gave me a tour when I was vetting Azmir before I met him. The sight of him made me smile because Azmir would always call him Young Littlejohn, endearingly of course. He was a rather short, brown skinned, twenty something year old, bright eyed kid. He was always pleasant and extremely articulate. I knew Azmir got a kick out of his size and delivery, hence the humorous moniker. I didn’t stop to speak, but brushed past the desk instead, en route to the elevators.

  I stood among the large, gathering crowd waiting at the bank of elevators for the car. When I heard the bell alerting its arrival I wondered if I’d be able to make this trip or have to wait for the next available one. The doors rolled open and to my and all the others waiting dismay, the elevator was packed, leaving room for no one.

  And I saw him.

  My heart began to race and my breathing hitched. He wore a meditative expression while engaging some woman who was speaking to him with animation. The sight of him was magnetic and downright breathtaking. His head slowly pushed up and his eyes found me immediately, almost as if he’d sensed my presence. Azmir’s gaze on me was sweltering and undeniably arresting. I froze in place. I noticed his lips slowly parting. Before I knew it, the elevator doors started to close, but he leaped forward, catching one with his hands, interrupting the process. He threaded around a few people, out of the elevator and over to me. I stood there trying to manage my equilibrium while soaking in his arousing and very familiar scent. He didn’t say anything, instead he grabbed me, taking me by the arm and towing me down the hall, opposite of the lobby doors.

  I had no idea where he was taking me, but his strides were purposeful. It had all happened so fast. I knew the main gym room, weight rooms, basketball courts and other amenities were there on the main floor, but what else was down there I didn’t know. Before I knew it, he had taken me to the back of the building, returning greetings to at least a half a dozen people on the way. I was immediately reminded of that night in the club, after Azmir knocked out my dance partner. He had me flying through the air, trailing behind him. This wasn’t that dissimilar.

  We eventually stopped at the service elevator. Azmir pulled out a key, calling it to the main floor. In no time, the door opened and he all but pushed me inside. When I looked him in the face for an answer, he wore a scowl as he pushed the key into the control panel and pushed a few buttons, causing the doors to close.

  “What in the world are you—” I tried to ask about his bizarre behavior, but he launched at me, covering my mouth with his, hungrily devouring me, and in no time at all, causing a guttural groan that I didn’t even know was possible to escape me. Azmir’s tongue attempted each inch of my mouth as his arm slipped around to the small of my back, pushing my belly into his erection. For the first time in my life I’d been lain out by a kiss. My legs gave out and my arms dangled behind my limp frame as fulgurate spikes of endorphins ignited delightful feelings of euphoria in his strong arm. We kissed hard, needy, and wild for what seemed like an eternity.

  He let go of my mouth and lowered his forehead against mine. Panting, he breathed, “Come home…today. I can’t take this bullshit anymore,” as his eyes were sealed.

  I was momentarily muted, my body was still reeling from the taste of desperation on his lips. “Azmir, I…I—”

  He grabbed me into his arms and, as I fluidly turned my back to him, trying to break loose, he grabbed me at the shoulder, wrapping his arm across my chest, pressing me into his hard, pounding chest. His right hand searched furiously for the entrance of my wrap around dress and when it did he quickly found his way down my panties and between my legs to my throbbing pearl. I gasped. I wasn’t steady on my feet from the exhilarating feeling of having his trained hands all over me again. My back arched and I grabbed the elevator walls, trying to steady myself as he rubbed and stroked until I could hear the swishing of my well-lathered sex. Went his lips and deft tongue touched my now exposed neck thanks to my hair cut, my body further melted into his lengthy frame. My head swung back and he rounded my neck with hit nibbling. I bit my lip to prevent from screaming. Not only were we in a public place, but I couldn’t give Azmir the satisfaction of me losing my mind after the way he had abandoned me.

  He worked his finger inside my canal as his thumb deliciously circled my swollen pearl. I felt his head move down until his mouth was to my ear and felt his warm breath rushing through his moist mouth. “I’ve tried, Rayna. I swear, I’ve tried to do this your way. I’ve given you time to fucking return on your
own,” he pleaded in my ear, adding to my lewd state. “Please, baby, I’m sick without you.”

  His panting melted me literally and figuratively. I fought to comprehend his words through my libidinous fog, but the allure of his scent invaded my nostrils and somehow traveled down to something in my belly.

  I shook my head frantically, “No. We can’t. It’s. Over,” I spoke incoherently, barely catching the collection of saliva trying to seep my wanting mouth.

  “You don’t mean that. I can’t go on like this much longer. Six days, one hundred and thirty hours and thirty-five minutes I’ve been miserable without you, tortured by your absence and the possibility of you having moved on. What ever I did wrong I can fix it, I swear…just give me the chance to.” His words were tantalizing and my pelvis danced on his busy hand beneath me. I felt his rock hard penis poking me from behind and I felt the moisture from my fingers as I gripped the aluminum wall in front of me. I thought I was going to lose my mind.

  “Fuck,” he growled in my ear. “You’re so wet! I miss you. I miss this. Tell me you miss it, too!” He spoke through clenched teeth the way that he did when I’d take him into my mouth and he would try to warn me that he was about to come. I was losing my faculties second by second. His deft fingers were diligently at work between my legs. I was close to the edge.

  “No. I. Don’t. I. Have. Moved. On.” I had no idea where that came from, perhaps my will to, but it was so far from the truth.

  I felt a smile form on his face from him having it pressed into mine. “Your body gives you away. It’s telling me something entirely different, Ms. Brimm.” He was goading me. It was confirmed when he used his free hand to strategically massage my breasts through my dress. My misted forehead dipped forward onto the cool silver wall. He ran small circles in my neck with his tongue. And seconds later, I heard him count down, “Eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two…”

  Before he could say one, my body quaked as my orgasm came coursing through, causing my torso to bow beneath Azmir’s towering, brawny frame. I let out whimpers in order not to give way to my threatening screams. Azmir held me tight and still worked his groping fingers on and inside of me, dragging out my orgasm until I wailed from sedation and could take it no more. He slowly pulled out of me and collapsed his back against the wall right aside me.

  With a cool and collected demeanor, he licked his thumb and fingers that were inside of me and murmured, “My mother has been in town. I can’t keep pushing back dinner with you. I’ve run out of excuses. Dinner tomorrow at seven. I’ll have Ray come scoop you,” here is when I caught his Brooklyn twang.

  My arms and hands were still splayed against the wall as I tried catching my breath and control of my delicate, trembling frame. “Azmir, I can’t,” I whispered with little energy to spare.

  Unperturbed, he turned the key with his dry hand to start the elevator’s ascent.

  “You can and you will. This shit is done. Now, I know you don’t have time; you’re late for your staff meeting. And I have to go call Yazmine to give her a final date and time for her first dinner in L.A. with my favorite girl.”

  How did he know I had a staff meeting? Then I quickly realized since we’re using his facility he could have come across that information easily in a briefing with Peg.

  Before I could give a rebuttal, the elevator had come to a halt and the doors parted.

  “Your stop,” Azmir announced as he continued to lick his fingers as though they tasted of honey.

  I was so turned on and ready to go, but I couldn’t let him sense that so I slowly straightened my dress and leaned over to pick up my belongings from the floor before exiting the elevator. I tried my best to maintain a dignified walk out and as I turned to my left, I heard Azmir’s deep vibrating voice inform, “You should hang right.”

  I stopped in my tracks and did an about face.

  The staff meeting was in full swing when I walked in. Jim Katz’s eyes landed on me and he cued Michael Shriver who seemed to have sped up his presentation on the latest marketing ads that would be posted in local publications and billboards. When he was done, Jim stood and announced the pending lawsuit that the firm was facing. He gave measured details, likely under the advisement of Brian Thompson’s legal team. That made me think of him…Brian Thompson and why was he not present to discuss this himself.

  Just then, Jim mentioned that more pressing issues took precedence of Brian’s appearance for this meeting. He really didn’t give much away and that, coupled with my rendezvous in the elevator with Azmir, forced my attention elsewhere. The bottom line was that I was not the cause of the lawsuit and wouldn’t discuss it any further anyway. My skin felt flushed and my thighs were sticking, making me switch positions in my seat to find comfort. I could still smell Azmir’s delicious scent on me. Thoughts of his big hands being inside me caused my pearl to pulsate all over again. Suddenly, I craved him needing more…much more. My phone pinged, breaking from my lecherous zone. It was him.

  Yazmine has been informed of our dinner plans tomorrow at Maggiano’s. Ray will be at your place at 6 sharp.

  I was secretly turned on by his forwardness. But he didn’t have to know that.

  If I decide to come I’ll drive. Thanks for the info.

  Quite frankly, I wasn’t in the mood to put up a front for his mother. What role would I play? Roommate? Former roommate? I most certainly wasn’t his girlfriend!

  Stop with the resistance. It’s over. I could feel his dominant nature come through that text.

  I replied,We’re over Azmir. You can’t throw me into an elevator, take advantage of me, pull at my conscience of entertaining your mother and expect me to forget all that has taken place to lead us here! I’ll think about it and get back to you.

  My phone pinged again.I’m not taking no for answer Brimm. We can talk beforehand if you like, you name the time and the place & I’ll clear my schedule to make it happen but no is not an option.

  Crap! He’s not letting this go. I tried my best not to look so distracted in this meeting. Azmir was pushing my buttons—in good and bad ways. There was so much I wanted to say. So many apologies and recent revelations, but it wasn’t the right time, nor did I believe this thing with Azmir was a sure thing.

  Azmir, I haven’t heard from you in nearly a week and you expect me to comply with your wishes of dining with your mother? For what…to explain to her that as your former “roommate” I can assure her that you’re a great bed-warmer? I don’t mean to be rude but you have to see things from my perspective. Dawn is an issue for me. Heck, Tara is a huge looming issue! I don’t think I can do this again.

  I readjusted myself in my seat and widened my eyelids to keep from tearing up. Seconds later, another alert appeared.

  It was Azmir:I’ll move around my schedule. We’ll talk.

  “When?” I shouted in my head. I didn’t respond because I didn’t know how to reply to that. I’d suddenly become so frustrated and being holed up in a humdrum staff meeting didn’t help at all. That entire afternoon didn’t help lift my mood. I resumed to tending to my patients and putting out administrative fires.

  I took the scenic route home, needing to think about this thing with Azmir. Things weren’t any clearer or less complicated just because he fingered me in his service elevator…though it was a nice method of release. My breasts swelled at the memory of his sweet breath hitting the side of my face. My panties were soaking wet by the time I hit my doorstep.

  I didn’t see the sedan around and I was relieved and satisfied with my decision to not call the police. I changed into a cropped sweat suit and sneakers, grabbed Azna’s leash and called him out of the door. We took a brisk walk on the beach. Between the emotional tailspin Azmir put me in and my randy state, I needed the fresh saltwater air. The sun was setting on our way back to the house. Azna’s stride slowed and I knew I wore him out. I picked him up and pet him gently.

  “I’ll fix ya’ something nice and warm as soon as we get in,” I sang in his ear.r />
  I turned up my walkway and saw Azmir’s long legs, squatting on my steps as he sat serenely on my front porch. His gaze had the same affect on me as it did earlier. It excited me internally. I let Azna down and he ran straight over to Azmir, just like a child would do its father. Azmir seemed just as thrilled to see our pup. Azna’s tail wagged with frenzy in Azmir’s arms. I walked up the steps, next to the two, holding back my smile and noticed two bags behind Azmir; one clearly containing two bottles of wine.

  Azmir’s dangerous eyes met mine. “You’ve cut your hair.”

  He’d noticed, though he didn’t make mention of hit earlier.

  “So I have,” I shot back, not caring about the traced venom.

  He didn’t like it. I could see it all in his eyes. Though I didn’t like his disapproval, I didn’t care. I needed a new identity. And to spite him.

  “Can I come in?”

  “Sure. Please.” Nervousness was in my voice.

  An hour later found us on the couch, working on the second bottle of Pinot Noir and laughing hysterically. Expensive gourmet Japanese food containers were spread across the coffee table and Azna was on the adjacent sofa chair, spread out in slumber.

  “Wait! Chanell and Wop? This sounds like a story she’d be sitting here telling me about someone else!” I was in the midst of a laughing fit.

  “I know. I swear, I didn’t believe it when Petey called me. It was a good thing Petey knew the arresting officer because they would’ve been in lock up.” Azmir chuckled sexily just before taking another sip from his glass.