Love UnCharted (Love's Improbable Possibility)

by Belvin, Love

  “Yes, she came out of the bathroom stall and walked into a private moment between an associate and me. It was a little emotional and I can only imagine the impression she got.”

  “Why are you anxious about what impression Rayna may have gotten from a conversation between you and an associate that didn’t concern her.”

  “Anxiousssss,” she threw my word back to me contemplatively, in a whisper.

  I took another sip of my brandy, but said nothing to let her know that I was awaiting an explanation.

  “That’s the thing, Azmir.” She ran her hand over the back of her neck, expressing nervousness. “I’m still confused as to the nature of your affairs with her. You told me last night she was a roommate, but you didn’t say she was a girlfriend or a significant other of some sort. Is there an arrangement in place that I should be aware of?”

  She echoed Rayna’s complaints about my choice of words describing who Rayna is in my life. What the fuck is up with women being all literal and shit?

  “That you should be aware of? Is this for business reasons?” I asked as I dropped ice cubes from the tumbler into my mouth. Dawn was going to have to come better than that.

  “In Connecticut, you advised that I be clear with my intentions, so here we go: Are you in a serious relationship with her? Is she a girlfriend? Or are you just fucking her and she’s living with you as a professional beard? Is there some arrangement in place?” Dawn barely took a breath in her string of questions. I couldn’t decide between being concerned or entertained. “I want to know so that I can see how I can gain your attention. And before you ask, I’m speaking on a personal and intimate level.” Her eyes stayed upon me as she sipped from her drink, I supposed to help with her nerves.

  “A beard…” I chuckled, “Wow! Now, that was unexpected.”

  She smiled sardonically, “Well, she has a body to die for. Her ass alone would make a nun do a double take. She’s always impeccably dressed in designer attire, and I surmised she doesn’t work if she can make herself available to you during the middle of the day like she did that day in your cafeteria. I don’t think my assumptions are too far off.”

  Dawn was so desperate for answers, she never paused to gauge my disposition, another character flaw. I couldn’t help but laugh. Hard. My liquor had seeped through my veins, goading my sense of humor. She showed her hand too much. Too bad she wasn’t mine or I’d have to coach her on how to hold her cards.

  “What is so damn funny?” she laughed along with me, risking the subject of our humor not being the same thing.

  “Your new found ability of avowing.” I placed my glass down on the bar. “I appreciate it and I will adhere to it.” I chewed my ice before continuing. “For starters, it may be wise for you to know the nature of my relationship with Ms. Rayna Brimm for professional reasons for your firm. As far as for personal reasons; you should know that I am not the type of man who’s dating options are reduced to entering into legal agreements for professional companionship. My singular tastes and pursuits affords me the opportunity to seek out women with legitimate careers and lifestyles.”

  Dawn furrowed her eyebrows, “Careers? Oh, so she does have a job? Let me guess, she waits tables at night and runs from audition to audition, trying to catch a break in acting during the day.”

  She was bold—too bold, and so off target. I swallowed my melting ice. “Not exactly. By day, she works at a physical therapy practice and by night, she keeps me entertained, if not off pursing other tasteful activities.”

  “She works at a physical therapy office as a…?” Dawn extended her investigational activities.

  “…as a lead physical therapist, who manages the practice. Her office is there on the rec property.”

  She reacted with her eyes. They jumped. What the fuck did she take me for?

  “Oh! Well, that’s good to know. She looks so young. I didn’t…”

  “She is. And she’s also very bright, clearly.” I watched as Dawn measured my words carefully. I recalled what Rayna said the night before about not painting Dawn a better picture of our relationship and felt I owed it to both of them. After giving her a moment to chew on it, I continued, “And for the record, I am a private man regarding personal affairs, but my affairs with Ms. Brimm are serious. I need you to know this as we proceed with this business relationship. Our contract is provisory and so far I’m happy with what you’ve been able to deliver. Don’t allow what is not possible to interfere with your paper.” I drag my gaze to her contemplative eyes, noticing her signature smile. “Don’t eat where you shit. Do you understand, Ms. Taylor?”

  Her smile was fading. I could tell I’d hit a nerve, but couldn’t be concerned about her feelings. I needed to clear a path for Rayna and if that meant it had to be at Dawn’s expense, so fucking be it.

  “Direct enough,” Dawn murmured before taking the last mouthful of her cocktail. “The Vibe article that you’re featured in it hit the shelves yesterday. You should pick yourself up a copy. You look good and read well in print.” Her spirit collapsed.

  “Indeed.” I had totally forgotten about that article. It was good to see their proposal unfold. “If you ladies need a tour of the facility, my executive assistant here can handle that.” I could feel her gaze in my peripheral and decided not to give it my attention and possibly open up a can of worms. She grabbed her purse and turned her body completely to face me.

  She murmured, “Azmir, you stay on this not mixing business with pleasure kick.” Dawn let out a soft exhale, “I’ll try to play nicely. I am an only child who challenges rejection. I always seem to end up with those things that I pursue.”

  With that, she turned and strutted off.

  I take a beat and then call out to her without changing my stance, “I don’t want any trouble in our business affairs, Ms. Taylor.”

  I heard the abrupt pause in her heels against the floors as she considered my words, “It’s not our business affairs that anyone should be concerned about,” she shot back before hitting the door.

  It was in that conversation I’d realized that my previous draw to Dawn actually worked against her. Yes, she made it clear she wanted me, but she left nothing for me to desire. Nothing for me to chase. On the other hand, while I enjoyed the chase with Rayna, I needed to feel every once in a while that she appreciated my efforts. I needed to know she wanted my companionship. In all honesty, I wanted Rayna to need me, like I needed her. I was hoping that I didn’t fuck up things with Rayna and had hope to Allah that she’d find it within herself to forgive me. If I wanted something solid with Rayna, I had to work with her and give her time to come around.

  Damn. I’d just hope she’d come around.

  “Sir,” Brett called out to me, breaking me yet again from a trance.

  “Ah, yes. Next week will be fine,” I rebounded, recalling the last of their exchange.

  “Okay, I’ll let your stylist know that you’ll need wardrobe for then,” Brett replied.

  “Oh, he finally speaks up?” Shayna quipped. I guess I was that distant from the conversation.

  “I’m here, Shayna,” I chimed in.

  “How are you today?” Shayna asked in her usual southern hospitable tone.

  “I’m well. Thanks for asking. I’m pleased about this brandy deal. You guys are blowing me away.”

  “Well, thanks for that. We have a lot more in store.”

  “Mr. Jacobs…” Dawn chimed in with her kitten voice, dripping sex appeal.

  “Yes.”

  “Honey magazine wants to do a personal experience piece with several semi-nude shots for one of their winter issues. They really loved the Vibe article and learned that you were a boxing enthusiast, which means they know you’re physically fit and want see your body. I think we should do this and mention Cobalt for marketing purposes.”

  Did I hear her correctly?

  “Dawn, I am a businessman, not a model hopeful. That may be ideal for Cobalt, but does nothing for Global Fusions. I’ll have to pas
s.”

  Global Fusions was my merger, acquisition, and liquidations firm with Richard. We were growing in lightning speed in this economy. I didn’t need any traction.

  “Are you kidding me? With your physique, business ventures, and brilliant mind we can cause major traffic to your entire brand. Your Google numbers would be out of this world. Just look at Christian Cross. His spread in Men’s Health demonstrated a significant boost in his cutlery line.”

  “That’s because men don’t shop for knives and I don’t have many products exclusively geared toward women. I’ll pass.”

  “Is that a hold action item for a future meeting?” Dawn goaded.

  “That is an definitive, absolutely, positively, hell no.” I was firm and slightly annoyed by her persistence.

  There was a brief pause. “Okay. We’ll work another angle,” Shayna assured.

  That’s when I got a text from Shayna, asking for a personal and private conversation with me soon. What a clandestine thing to do, given we were on the line together now. It must’ve had to do with Dawn. I told her I’d be agreeable to it.

  The conversation went on for nearly an hour before we ended and Brett and I moved on to another conference call. It was a long morning and an even longer afternoon. By five p.m., my trepidations concerning Rayna’s showing for dinner that night with my mother had grown exponentially. I didn’t want to reach out to her, not wanting to pressure her or be overbearing considering our time together the night before.

  And that had played out so well. That Monday, I was preparing to “run into” her after her staff meeting, but when I saw her standing in the lobby waiting for the elevator, I felt several emotions: longing, excitement, hunger, and anger—she cut her fucking hair! I can’t stop thinking about it. I felt a flair of possessiveness and wanted to go fucking caveman and snatch her ass up so that I can fully examine what she had done—without my fucking approval! But instantly her beauty speared me. I saw the narrow structure of her neck, exposing soft caramel skin—skin that my fingers tingled to touch, and my tongue twitched to taste. I had visions of running my tongue the length of her ear down to her shoulder. And suddenly, I couldn’t resist, I had to make my move.

  She gave a little resistance and I couldn’t believe the way that I’d practically begged her to let me back in. Rayna was still raw. The shit I copped to in the elevator and those that I shared with her in her bed last night was something I’d never experienced. I wanted to slap the shit out of myself at times for being such a bitch, but I can’t lie, I don’t regret a word I uttered. I’m simply not accustomed to being so transparent about my inner most personal feelings. Yet, I felt compelled to let her know that she meant the world to me.

  I’d picked up Yazmine from her hotel. Since her arrival from New York, she always looked uneasy when getting into the Bentley. I knew it was a lot to take in, but I also didn’t want to make any changes just to suit her. I was content with what I’d built over the years. I’ve lived beneath my means for years, and still do to a large degree, so there was no need to recede when she was around.

  Yazmine had been pretty refreshing during my suspension with Rayna. We’ve talked a lot about our individual lives, and our time apart. She was really laid back, but very discerning, something I didn’t recall as a child, perhaps because my mind was not mature enough to catch it. At the dinner table assessing the wine menu at Maggiano’s, I was nervous. I searched for something that would help me bear the brunt of Rayna’s absence. I was nervous as hell about her standing me up. I still hadn’t heard from her and after a long day could certainly use her presence.

  “Why are you so fidgety?” Yazmine observed.

  “Am I?” I responded calmly, or so I attempted.

  “Yes, you are. You can try to play that smooth shit with the rest of them, but I’m your momma. It don’t matter how long I been up, I know when something’s wrong witcha’,” Yazmine’s accent was thick with her Brooklyn roots and broken idiom from prison, I’d guessed. But no matter how she expressed herself, I’d still experienced a small semblance of the mother I had once known.

  I gave a small chuckle. “I’m good. Just had a long day.” I placed the menu down. “How was yours?” I tried steering her away from my truths of Rayna standing me up.

  “It was all good. I reached out to Daryl.” That caught my attention.

  “And?”

  “And I told him I was in town and need to kick it wit’ him.”

  I didn’t feel good about that because I no longer trusted Big D. “And what was his response?” I needed to know how he was going to swing this.

  “He was shocked as hell! I thought that piece of shit was having a damn heart attack on the phone!” She held her chest and laughed hysterically. Her other hand cupped her cupped her mouth, drawing attention to her gold nose ring. My mother had aged. She still had her mildly tinted brown skin, but the bags under eyes told tales of weariness. “We’re suppose to meet tomorrow at two…some place called Griffith Park? I knew your driver could get me there so I ain’t sweatin’ it.”

  “I’ll send a new driver. I don’t want you venturing out alone.”

  “No problem.”

  I pulled out my pocket watch and noted that it was seven thirty-five, over a half an hour past our reservation time. I knew we had arrived ten minutes late due to traffic, but this was not like Rayna. I had begun to resolve in my mind that she wasn’t going to show. Should I have called her to remind her or pushed the issue of having her picked up? I was wrestled in my thoughts. I immediately became flooded with disappointment.

  Yazmine gave me a deep gaze of skepticism. “Are you sure you’re okay, beloved.”

  “Oh, yeah. I’d prefer you not go alone. I know that you and Big D have a history and with what we’ve recently discovered, I don’t want to take any chances of a heated encounter,” I assured her.

  “No. It ain’t that. It’s something else going on in ya’ head.” She was right. Her name was Rayna. And she was stressing me the fuck out!

  Having succumbed to defeat, I was just about to call the waiter over to start our order when I noticed her enthralling stride over to our table. She was dressed in a black, fitted, long sleeve dress that stopped just below her knees, and black suede Fendi metallic platform pumps with a gold with black Fendi fold-over clutch to match. I knew this because I was with her when it was purchased, just before her birthday, during the summer. I thought the combo was a bit understated, but she said that’s why it had appealed to her. It was nice to see her wearing it. Her hair was in the sexy, short loose curls she’d had it cut into. Her jewelry was modest, her make-up was soft, but her lips were lusciously nude against her skin. My dick inflated against my pants.

  Just before she reached the table, I rose and took a few steps to meet her. She gave me a nervous smile and was receptive when I went to reach her and pulled her into the curve of my body, she didn’t resist. I was so relieved and excited to see her. When we embraced, I heard her breath catch at the point of our contact. In my elation, I pulled her face up with my right hand to plant a soft kiss on her lips, trying to fight the urge to smear her lipstick. Before my lips landed, I felt an electric pull as I inhaled her and when our lips met, I seemed to have shattered in a million pieces.

  What the fuck is that?

  When I opened my eyes, I noticed hers were open, trying not to give into passion. But I felt her erratic heartbeat in my arms. She smelled glorious in my fold. Her eyes danced back and forth while searching mine. I knew she wondered what the fuck was up with me.

  “I didn’t think you were going to make it,” slipped from my lips in a whisper that could only be heard by her, and I immediately wanted to kick myself for letting it. I slowly released her lower back from my needy grip, raking my hand on the way and could swear I heard a moan escape her.

  She looked me in the eyes with furrowed brows. There was so much I wanted to say, so many unfamiliar feelings I wanted to express, but of course this was not the time nor place
. She looked over to Yazmine, leaving my embrace, and greeted, “Mrs. Jacobs, it’s so good to see you again,” as she extended her arms to indicate to my mother that she wanted to enfold her.

  Yazmine, who appeared to have been watching our private moment, quickly followed suit and rose from the table reciprocating. I watched how they welcomed each other and both seemed to have been immediately taken. I could see Yazmine’s face from my angle and she closed her eyes during their contact, which let me know that there was a level of sincerity in her greeting to Rayna.

  As they let go Rayna said, “I apologize for being so late. Not only was the traffic terrible, but I had to stop at a drugstore on my way. I picked up the phone to text Azmir on the way and saw that my battery had died.”

  “Well, I’m just glad that you made it, beloved,” Yazmine gushed so forgivingly. “I saw Mir folding up over there. I think he was scared that you wasn’t gonna come.”

  As Rayna looked over to me I noticed Yazmine’s eyes stayed on her. Rayna gave me a dubious gaze. I remained impassive, just relieved that she came. She looked damned good. I’d started thinking of ways I would fuck her later on.

  “Oh, I wouldn’t have missed this for all the tea in China,” Rayna stared me dead in the eyes when she shot back the same line I’d use on her at her job’s charity ball when I had first encountered that prick, Brian Thompson.

  “Are you okay, beloved? You needed to stop at the drugstore…?” Yazmine didn’t skip a beat.

  “Oh, yeah,” Rayna looked uneasy, almost as if she didn’t want to discuss it. “I’ve had a rough day. Work was, well…work. I’ve had back pains and the like since I woke up this morning. I ran out of pain meds earlier this afternoon and had to pick more up before I got here and suffered my way through dinner. I’ve been looking forward to finally seeing you. I’m sorry it’s taken this long,” she offered a warm smile.

  Damn. Rayna’s period symptoms never crossed my mind today. She suffered from cramping, bloating, neck and back pains among other symptoms, each cycle. Some months were worse than others. No ass for me tonight.