Alexander Outland: Space Pirate

by G. J. Koch

  I considered the dilemma. Seemed to be only one option, really.

  CHAPTER 19

  I left the hood up and moved around to the driver’s side. He chose to open his door, marking him as an idiot. But that was good. I’d been planning to kick in the back window and drag Slinkie out before we crashed. Not the greatest plan in the world. A door open made things much simpler.

  He fired, I dodged. Wasn’t hard. His aim was poor—apparently it was hard to drive an out-of-control ’floater and shoot the good guy at the same time.

  I grabbed the door before he could close it, pulled my laser gun, and fired. Missed the driver, got the passenger. In the head. One down, three goons to go. From what I could tell, Slinkie was still out.

  The driver flipped the car while he and I continued to fire at each other. He missed again, possibly because I’d lost my footing and was holding onto the car via the door handle. He leaned out to aim better. I holstered my gun, flung my arm up, and grabbed his arm just before he fired. His shot missed and he was off-balance enough that I pulled him out of the ’floater.

  I heard male voices shouting, but couldn’t pay much attention. The driver still had a hold of the wheel, meaning the ’floater was spinning in the air while heading, from the quick flash I saw, straight for the main sewage vat. I could smell it now, and I knew we’d land in it—it was just the way the cosmos worked.

  I had the worse position, so I decided to try reckless as my next option. I grabbed the driver and climbed up his body. He tried to stop me, but I landed a good kick on his hand and his laser gun went flying off. He was bigger than me, weren’t they all here, but I was more agile and I had the desire to sleep with Slinkie spurring me on. Can’t sleep with dead girls—well, some can, but I’d never been one of them and didn’t plan on starting now.

  Grabbed the wheel, made sure I had a firm hold, and then I slammed my elbow into the driver’s face. It took a couple of hits, but fighting fair wasn’t something I’d ever believed in. So I kneed his groin—hard—while I hit him with my elbow again. He lost his hold on the wheel and started to slide down. My elbow hit the top of his head while my knee met his nose. He let go and I stopped worrying about him.

  Climbed in when the car spun around to help me. The positive about the car spinning was that the two remaining goons were too busy flipping around the car to shoot at me. I turned the wheel the other direction, took the laser gun the dead passenger wasn’t using any more, and waited for the goons to settle for a second. Two shots to the head, two dead goons. It was a cheerful afternoon for me.

  I heard Slinkie groan. Good, she was coming around. We were almost to the sewage plant. I couldn’t see it, but damn could I smell it. I cranked the wheel hard to the left and we slammed into the side of the tank. The outer side. It didn’t break and I thanked whatever god was active on Herion right now as well as Lord Avian. I figured He had to love Slinkie, so maybe had a wing in the assist.

  We hit the ground, hard, but on the tires. I didn’t hesitate. Reached over the seat, grabbed Slinkie, dragged her out, flung her over my shoulder, and took off. I knew the kind of reception waiting for someone who crashed a ’floater into the reclamation plant, especially a ’floater with three dead goons in it.

  “Nap?” Slinkie sounded confused and bleary. “Nap, what’s going on?”

  “Goon attack. I saved you. It was impressive. Tell you later.”

  “Where in the egg are we? The smell is awful.”

  I heard the sound of metal groaning. Risked a look up. The tank had held when the ’floater hit it, but it had been damaged. And it clearly wasn’t going to hold all that much longer.

  “Ah, Slink? You up to running?”

  “I think so.”

  I put her down and grabbed her hand. “Good. Run. Or die under a mountain of Herion excrement.”

  One of the things I loved about Slinkie was that she didn’t question statements like this. She just ran. I had no idea of where we should run to, of course, but away from the tank seemed the best idea.

  “There!” Slinkie pointed. A door in what looked like the exterior plant wall. Sounded good to me.

  We headed for it. Locked, of course. I was great at picking locks and considered it—it looked like a standard Bulldog, meaning it would take me about thirty seconds. But it didn’t sound like we had long enough. Pulled my trusty laser and shot the lock out. Kicked the door open and we ran through.

  There was an impressive array of Herion Military there, guns pointed at us. But I knew what to say in this situation. “The sewage tank’s gonna break!”

  CHAPTER 20

  Reactions were immediate. The military scattered. Slinkie and I kept on running. We were running with the military, as a matter of fact. No one really needed to be told they needed to move or were going to be drowning in crap twice, at least, not if they had functioning brains.

  Still running at top speed, I pulled Slinkie out of the group. I didn’t want us near enough to be grabbed once everyone felt far enough away to be safe. The sound of rending metal was louder, and then the sound of metal giving up the good fight came, followed quickly by a splooshing sound that was both gross and ominous.

  We were on a street now, and I heard the familiar screeching of tires. “Don’t these guys ever stop?”

  An even older and less impressive autofloater slid up next to us. “Get in,” the Governor snapped. I shoved Slinkie into the back seat and leapt in next to her. The Governor floored it and we took off. He had us airborne momentarily, though not up too high.

  “They won’t have any trouble following us.”

  “We go higher, this comes down. At least, that’s what the little old lady I took it from told me.”

  “You stole this from a woman you consider old? Dear Herion gods, whoever they may be, how old could that be? Is she a mummy or an undead?”

  “I could let you ask the Herion Military,” the Governor snarled.

  “My jaw hurts. That bastard hit me.” Slinkie sounded furious. “I want to go back and kill him.”

  “Already taken care of, Slink. I killed all four of them. No one touches you if you don’t want to be touched. Other than me, of course.” I massaged the back of her neck. “How’s your head feeling?”

  “Okay.” She didn’t make a comment or tell me to stop or anything. She also wasn’t looking at me, around, or at the Governor. She was looking at her hands, which were folded in her lap.

  I got worried. “Slinkie, you all right? Did they hurt you worse than I saw?”

  She shook her head and then she started to cry. Slinkie didn’t like to cry. I’d only seen her do it a few times—those three times I’d gotten the dove look, when we’d lost Saladine, and a couple of others.

  I put my arm around her and pulled her closer to me. “Slinkie, what else did they do to you?” I wondered if there was a way to kill them again. Figured not, but maybe I could find out who’d hired them and go kill those guys, too.

  She buried her face in my chest and bawled. I hugged her and tried to figure out what to do. Some other girl, this was a great prelude to sex—comfort, reassure, head into the sack. But this was Slinkie. I didn’t want to miss what seemed like a golden opportunity, however, I also didn’t want to screw up.

  I settled for standard operating procedures. Comfort and reassure, see if sex might be a possibility. I kissed the top of her head. “It’s okay. I won’t let anyone hurt you.” She bawled more and clutched at me.

  This was great. Or would have been, if I wasn’t actually starting to feel upset that she was so upset. I kissed her head again. Her hair smelled great, goon attack or no goon attack. Holding her felt great, too. Only her crying wasn’t great. I rocked her, hugged her more tightly, kissed her head some more, and stroked her hair. I could feel her start to relax.

  “Alexander, do you happen to have a plan?” The Governor didn’t sound snappish. I assumed he didn’t want to say something that might cause Slinkie to start crying her eyes out again, since she w
as down from all out hysterics to my soufflé fell.

  “Well, I have several plans. All of them center around us getting the hell out of Herion solar space as fast as possible. Unfortunately, I don’t know how to do that and stay alive, at least not yet.”

  “They said they were going to hold me as a hostage until they could get you to do what they wanted,” Slinkie said. Her voice was muffled, because she hadn’t taken her face out of my chest. I didn’t mind and hoped she didn’t go back to completely normal too quickly.

  “Did they say what it was they wanted?”

  She shook her head. “No. I was too busy fighting to ask questions.”

  “That’s okay, we’ll figure it out. I saw that one hit you.” Despite trying to sound calm, my voice came out in a snarl. “Did they hurt you more than that?” I really wanted to know how much mayhem and pain I was going to cause to whoever had given the order to pick Slinkie up.

  She cuddled closer to me. I tried not to marvel at my luck. “No. Not much, anyway. Just the usual manhandling.”

  “Manhandling?” Had their man hands handled parts of Slinkie I considered mine, albeit mine in the future? I really regretted the inability to kill someone more than once.

  Slinkie took her face out of my chest. For a moment I thought my happy time was over, but she leaned her head back against me. “No, not intentionally.”

  I wanted to ask if by “not intentionally” she meant they’d knocked up against her assets while she was kicking and hitting them, or if they’d followed in the Governor’s footsteps and gone for the cheap feels. But something told me this wouldn’t lead us down a good path and, besides, the Governor was right there.

  “Well… okay. You want to go lie down?”

  She looked up at me and gave me a sardonic look. “Smooth.”

  “Not what I meant. You were hurt. I don’t know if you need to rest or are okay moving back into action.” I slid my fingers along her jaw. “You may be the toughest bird in the galaxy, but that bastard who hit you was twice your size.”

  “You think I’m a tough bird?” She didn’t sound like she really believed me.

  “I think you’re the greatest, Slinkie. You know that.”

  “Oh, Nap. I was so scared. And I hate being scared. And you jumped on a moving ’floater to save me and….” Her eyes were wide, her lips were parted, and she had the dove look on her face.

  I knew an invitation when I saw it. I bent to kiss her. Our lips were almost touching when the ’floater jerked and started to fall.

  “Alexander, we have a problem!”

  CHAPTER 21

  I resisted the overwhelming urge to curse. My lips had almost been on Slinkie’s, and tongue had been a clear given. Who knew where that might have led? I mean, I had a damned good guess, but there was no way to put it to the test.

  In a split second, amorous thoughts were in the ether, because the ’floater was having some serious problems. Caused, as near as I could tell, by the several military ’floaters around it.

  Unlike what we were in, Herion Military’s autofloaters were sleek machines. You wouldn’t be able to stand on one of them, they were built for speed. They were also built for business. It was clear they meant it.

  We were surrounded, both sides, above, front and rear. None of their drivers were stupid enough to go below us, though.

  “Land and drive like a good citizen.”

  “Well, it’s that or crash and die, Alexander, so, I was going to do that anyway.”

  I sighed. “So testy. Look, when we get out, Governor, you just act cranky and old—you know, be natural. Slinkie, you just stand up straight, toss the hair, smile, you know the drill.”

  “What are you going to be doing?” Slinkie sounded like she was back to normal. I tried not to dwell on the disappointment. All wasn’t lost, just delayed. I hoped.

  “I’m going to be angrily lodging a complaint.”

  The ’floater touched down and the Governor drove slowly along, while the Herion Military ’floaters landed around us. The one above us stayed in the air, not that we had a prayer of outdistancing anything in the old heap we were in. They indicated it was time to stop, pull over and assume the position.

  We did so, and then got out of the ’floater. This wasn’t always a wise move, but one thing Herion Military were great about was the fact that they truly waited to make sure they had the right people for the right reason before they blew them away. Of course, on Herion, the right reasons were easy to come up with.

  The cosmos liked its little joke. Who should get out of the ’floater in front of us than Lionside. I looked around. Saw the rest of the gang we’d been interrogated by earlier. Only one missing was Nitin. No loss.

  Lionside strode over. Slinkie did her thing. I tried not to lose all will to live—she didn’t look like she was faking it. However, survival was still what mattered.

  I moved in front of the Governor and Slinkie as Lionside reached us. “Major, I’d like to lodge a formal complaint. My crew member was kidnapped on Herion’s streets, and no one from Herion Military was around to help until after I’d rescued her.”

  Lionside stopped in mid-stride. “What… you’re saying Miss Slinkie was abducted?” The way he said it, it was clear space dragons were going to be slain, and soon.

  “That’s exactly what I’m saying. How bad is it here that tourists who are doing their best to enhance the Herion economy are snatched in front of a legitimate and quite costly business establishment?” I’d been trained well by the Governor—I could do the pompous double-speak with the best of them.

  Lionside ignored me and focused on Slinkie. “Are you hurt? Do we need to get you to medical?”

  “I’m fine. Captain Outland rescued me. If he hadn’t….” She let that one hang.

  Lionside looked physically ill. “I had no idea. We got a report that someone was joyriding and crashed the stolen autofloater into the main sewage tank. The cleanup is going to be horrific.”

  “I don’t call what happened a joyride, and I’m sure Slinkie doesn’t either. I had to take extreme measures since they were attacking her in addition to kidnapping.”

  One of the other military personnel came over and whispered something to Lionside. He nodded. “Run backgrounds, as much as you can.” He turned back to me. “Captain, you killed the four men responsible?”

  “It was self-defense. They didn’t want to give Slinkie back and tried to kill me.”

  “No argument. We believe they were part of the Land League.”

  “The who league?”

  He sighed. “The Land League. They’re a group of, frankly, maniacs, who feel we should cease all intersystem and interstellar travel.”

  This rang a bell. “I think they planted bombs on my ship.”

  Lionside nodded. “Your Chief Mechanic reported such, yes.” He rubbed his head. “I apologize for this, Captain. We do need to take your statements, officially, and I will need to do so at local headquarters.”

  “You’re arresting Captain Outland?” Slinkie sounded enraged.

  “No, not at all.” He sounded evasive.

  The Governor snorted. “You can take our statements here, then. A trip to Herion HQ is a trip to prison.”

  “There was a great deal of destruction of property.” Lionside sounded apologetic.

  “Blame the goons who snatched Slinkie off the sidewalk.”

  “I’d love to, but they’re dead.”

  “Take their dead bodies in for questioning, then.”

  Lionside shook his head. “Miss Slinkie is free to go, as is your, ah, driver here. But I’m afraid I’ll have to insist you come with us, Captain.”

  I heard a lot of guns make that “ready to fire” sound. “Fine. But I’ll be lodging another formal complaint, for wrongful arrest.”

  “It’s not wrongful if you’re guilty.” Nitin’s voice oozed from behind me.

  I looked over my shoulder. Yep, he was there. And it was the soldiers with him who had the guns dra
wn.

  “I’m not guilty of anything other than self-defense and the defense of one of my female crew members.”

  Nitin smiled, and it was a nasty, unpleasant smile. “Well, I’m sure we can find something you’re guilty of, Captain Outland. Your reputation, shall we say, precedes.”

  CHAPTER 22

  Herion Military HQ was an imposing, box-like complex made out of steel. Reinforced steel, so far as anyone had been able to confirm.

  Despite Slinkie and the Governor’s protests, in fact, despite Lionside’s protests, Nitin had cuffed my hands behind my back and shoved me into a military ’floater, between two Herion Military who made the goons I’d already dealt with seem small.

  They were reasonably careful with me, at least until we were inside the military complex. Then a bag was put over my head, I was taken into an interrogation room, the bag was removed as I was flung into the chair that was the only thing in the room, other than one light in the ceiling, and left.

  I looked for the hidden cameras. That there would be hidden cameras was a given. They wanted something from me, that was also a given. Whether I’d be allowed to live once they got it was not a given.

  Took a very good, long look. If there were cameras in here, they were amazingly well camouflaged. The walls were all concrete, so was the ceiling and floor, and the one light didn’t seem to have much in it that would function as a camera. I still figured there was something in here, watching me—just something I couldn’t spot. Which meant it was probably cloaked.

  I tried not to dwell on how close I’d come to getting a willing wet one from Slinkie. I needed to think about how to get out of here alive, not focus on what kissing Slinkie might be like. The last thing I needed was someone thinking I was aroused by being here.

  The door opened and Nitin walked in. He was alone. He shut the door, walked over, and stood in front of me, just out of kicking range. “We need your cooperation, Captain Outland.”

  “Take the cuffs of me, Nitin. I don’t cooperate well tied up.”