by Chris Colfer
“I imagine,” Brooks said with a hiccup. “Barrie’s marrying his niece.”
Brystal was stunned. “Really? I had no idea.”
“As if my younger brother getting married before me wasn’t humiliating enough, he also managed to bag himself a royal. From this day forward, Barrie will be known as Lord Evergreen, and I’ll be expected to bow and call him sir whenever I’m in his presence.”
The thought was too much for Brooks to bear. He reached behind the refreshment counter and started chugging the closest bottle.
The royal carriage parked on the front lawn and all the wedding guests surrounded it. The guards rolled out a red carpet for the royal passengers and then stood at attention while they emerged. A middle-aged man was the first passenger to step out of the carriage. He wore a red velvet cape with fur trim and a large feathered hat. The man had a black beard that was a little too dark to pass as a natural color and a cocky grin that never faded from his face. He scoffed at his first sight of the Evergreen residence, like he was far too important to be there.
“Who’s that?” Brystal asked her brother.
“That’s Prince Maximus Champion, the future King Champion XV,” Brooks said.
“I wonder why I’ve never met him before,” Brystal said.
“Probably because he hates your guts,” Brooks said. “Prince Maximus is extremely old-fashioned and detests how you changed the constitution. I heard rumors that he begged his father to reinstate the old laws, but the king wouldn’t hear a word of it. Apparently, ever since you defeated the Snow Queen, you’re the only person King Champion takes advice from.”
Prince Maximus was followed by five young men, all between the ages of twelve and twenty. The young men looked like younger versions of the prince and wore matching capes and feathered hats. They scanned the Evergreen property with a noticeable blankness behind their eyes, as if none of them had ever had a deep thought.
The wedding guests bowed as each of the royals climbed out of the carriage. Brystal was hoping King Champion XIV would emerge next, but the sovereign never appeared.
“I’m assuming those are Maximus’s sons,” Brystal said.
“Their names are Triumph, Conquer, Victory, Score, and Marvel,” Brooks listed. “But don’t ask me who’s who. I doubt their father can even tell them apart.”
“Why isn’t the king with them?” Brystal asked.
“I’ve heard rumors his health is declining,” Brooks said.
“How odd,” Brystal said. “I just saw King Champion. He presented me with a statue in the Chariot Hills town square. He seemed perfectly healthy then.”
“Well, you know the elderly—they reach a certain age and stop taking care of themselves,” Brooks said, and then chugged a second bottle from behind the counter. “Maximus will probably be sitting on the throne sooner than we expect.”
The idea of losing King Champion XIV plagued Brystal with an entirely new batch of worries. Last year, she had persuaded him and the other sovereigns to legalize magic in exchange for protection from the Snow Queen. But what if Prince Maximus wasn’t as receptive as his father? How could Brystal protect magic, women, and the talking creatures from Maximus’s old-fashioned values? And if she couldn’t, would King Warworth, Queen Endustria, and King White follow his example?
You better hope King Champion XIV sticks around.…
Once Prince Maximus is crowned, he’ll restore the old laws.…
He’ll turn his people against you.…
He’ll convince the other sovereigns to do the same.…
Everything you’ve worked for will be lost.
For weeks, Brystal had worried about losing mankind’s approval, and now her concerns felt more legitimate than ever before.
The laws will change.…
Women will lose their rights.…
The talking creatures will lose their homes.…
Magic will be criminalized.…
You and your friends will be hated once again.
The princes worked their way through the crowd of adoring guests. Prince Maximus eventually made it to the group of Justices and greeted them with friendly embraces. Brystal couldn’t hear what they were discussing, but it was obvious the Justices were warning Prince Maximus of her attendance. All the men scowled at Brystal, but Prince Maximus’s scowl was the nastiest of all.
He despises you…
Possibly more than the Justices do.…
He’ll never keep your amendments to the constitution.…
He wants to eliminate you completely.…
You’ve made yourself a powerful enemy.
Brystal had so many things to worry about already, adding Prince Maximus to the list gave her a headache. She searched the front lawn for something—anything—to take her mind off it. Luckily, Brystal found the perfect distraction.
While the princes greeted the wedding guests, a seventh passenger stepped out of the carriage. He was about sixteen years old and was much taller and better looking than the royals he traveled with. The young man had wavy brown hair, a chiseled jawline, and a scar on his left cheek that Brystal found very mysterious. Unlike the princes, he didn’t wear a feathered hat, a cape, or even a tie, but a simple maroon suit with an open shirt.
“Who is he?” Brystal asked her brother.
“How do you not know any of this?” Brooks said. “That’s Maximus’s nephew—Prince Gallivant, I believe—or maybe it’s Galantine? But he’s so far down the line of succession, who cares?”
Brystal did. In fact, she couldn’t take her eyes off the prince. Brystal thought he was so striking just the sight of him made her blush. The attraction was the first pleasant emotion she had had in weeks, so she welcomed it and savored it for all it was worth.
“Whatever his name is, he’s very handsome,” Brystal said.
“I used to look like him,” Brooks said, and raised his bottle. “Enjoy it while it lasts, kid!”
Brystal could tell Prince Gallivant was overwhelmed by all the wedding guests competing for the royals’ attention. He snuck around the crowd and headed straight under the tent. The prince sat in a chair in the back row and rested his feet on a seat in front of him. He removed a book from inside his jacket and read while he waited for the wedding to begin. Brystal didn’t think he could be more attractive, but knowing he was a reader made her heart flutter.
A bell rang to announce the start of the ceremony and all the guests piled into the tent to find seats. Prince Maximus and his sons sat with the Justices, and the royal guards lined the perimeter of the tent to watch over them. Brooks sat in a section reserved for the Evergreen family at the very front. Brystal didn’t want to sit anywhere near her father or Prince Maximus, but her options were limited.
“Pssst! Over here!”
Brystal turned toward the voice and saw Prince Gallivant was waving at her.
“Need a seat?” he asked, and nodded toward the empty chair beside him.
“Oh, no thank you,” Brystal said. “It might be rude if I sit in the back at my brother’s wedding.”
“Suit yourself,” Prince Gallivant said. “Although, I’ve learned from personal experience, sitting in the back row makes it harder for people to stare at you. Unless you like that sort of thing.”
After he’d put it that way, Brystal couldn’t refuse the offer, and she took the seat beside him. Being so close to the prince made Brystal blush even harder than before. She hoped her face didn’t look as warm as it felt.
“You’re that Fairy Godsmacker, aren’t you?” he asked.
“It’s Fairy Godmother,” Brystal said. “But yes, that’s what people call me these days.”
“I’ve got a few titles myself,” the prince said. “My official name is Prince Gallivant Victorious Heroic Courageous Champion of Chariot Hills, but I’m also called the Duke of Southwestington—although, I’ve never been there—the Lord of Southeasternshire—that’s just a grassy field—and the Earl of Southnorthernburry—but I think they made that one
up.”
“I suddenly feel so much better about my title. Which of those names should I call you?”
“Everybody just calls me Seven.”
“Seven?”
“Because I’m seventh in line for the throne,” the prince explained. “What do people call you when you’re not… um… Fairy Godmothering?”
It had been so long since someone asked for her real name Brystal had to think about it.
“Oh, I’m Brystal—Brystal Evergreen.”
“It’s nice to meet you, Brystal.”
Seven shook Brystal’s hand and smiled at her. She quickly pulled it away before he noticed how clammy he made her palm.
“You too, Seven,” she said. “Very nice.”
At half past five o’clock, the ceremony finally started. Barrie was the first to appear in the wedding procession and walked the mother of the bride down to her seat. Then he took his position under the gazebo, so nervous his entire body was shaking. Brystal noticed a few of his buttons were already loose again. She discreetly waved her wand and tightened the buttons before they fell off.
Barrie was followed down the aisle by his parents. Mrs. Evergreen was fighting back tears and gave her son a kiss on the cheek before taking her seat. The guests were touched by the sweet moment, but Brooks found it insufferable and groaned loudly.
“What’s his deal?” Seven whispered.
“He’s just being dramatic,” Brystal whispered back. “Brooks has to be the best at everything—including failure.”
The comment made Seven snort and the noise caught Prince Maximus’s attention. He was furious to see that Seven was sitting next to Brystal and sent them both a scathing look.
“I’m pretty sure your uncle hates me,” Brystal said.
“Don’t take it personally—my uncle Max hates everyone,” Seven said.
“When Maximus takes the throne, will I have to call you Six?” Brystal asked.
“That’s assuming my grandfather doesn’t outlive us all,” Seven said.
“How’s the king feeling? I heard he was ill.”
“Nah, he’s perfectly healthy,” Seven said. “Uncle Max likes to spread those rumors, though. Every time my grandpa so much as clears his throat, Max starts planning his coronation. But I’m guessing Gramps will be around for another decade or so.”
“Thank goodness,” Brystal said.
The groomsmen and bridesmaids made their way down the aisle, then all the guests rose to welcome the bride. Lady Penny Charming was a short and skinny woman with bright red hair—but that was all Brystal could see. Penny’s wedding dress and veil were so monstrous her face was hardly visible.
“Eeek,” Seven said. “Is that Penny or has the Snow Queen returned?”
“HAAAA!”
The laugh erupted out of Brystal’s mouth before she knew it was coming. The disruption made the whole wedding come to a screeching halt. Penny paused halfway down the aisle, and all the wedding guests turned in Brystal’s direction.
“I’m so sorry,” she said, and pretended she was crying. “Weddings make me emotional. Please, carry on.”
Brystal couldn’t believe she had just laughed. The feeling lasted only a moment, but it was a huge relief to know she was still capable of joy.
After an awkward silence, the ceremony resumed. Penny eventually reached the end of the aisle and the guests were seated. A monk appeared under the gazebo and took his place between the bride and groom. As the monk began his officiation, Seven opened his book and continued reading.
“Get comfortable,” he whispered.
“Do you always bring a book to weddings?” Brystal asked.
“Only to royal weddings,” he said. “They last forever. The Duke and Duchess of Northgate’s wedding was so long, by the time it was over, they were already divorced.”
Seven made Brystal laugh again, but this time, she kept it quiet.
“What are you reading anyway?” she asked.
Seven tilted the book to show her the title.
“The Tales of Tidbit Twitch, Volume 4,” he said.
Brystal was shocked. “You’re kidding! That’s my favorite book series!”
“Seriously? I didn’t think anyone else even knew about these books.”
“I’ve read the first one a dozen times,” she said. “I know they’re meant for children, but nothing makes me happier than a story about a mouse defeating a monster.”
Seven smiled at Brystal and looked so deeply into her eyes Brystal had to remind herself they had just met. She felt like she had known the prince her entire life—perhaps longer.
“Maybe we could read it together sometime,” he said.
“I’d like that,” she said.
Brystal’s heart was beating so fast she thought it might pop out of her chest. Apparently, the prince could make her feel all kinds of things that no one else could.
The ceremony continued, and just like Seven had warned, it lasted much longer than any other wedding Brystal had been to. The monk gave lengthy thanks to each of the royals, Justices, and aristocrats in attendance, and once all the noblemen and noblewomen were singled out, the monk performed a long-winded monologue about the history of the Southern Kingdom, and he honored all the sovereigns from King Champion I to King Champion XIV with detailed tributes. Barrie and Penny drank from ceremonial cups, they cut ribbons and tied strings, they lit candles and crushed plates, and by the time they reached the vows, it was already night.
“Deputy Justice Barrie Evergreen, do you take this woman as your lawfully wedded wife, to help you serve Our Lord and obey the will of His Majesty, King Champion XIV?”
“I do,” Barrie said.
“And do you, Lady Penny Charming, take this man as your lawfully wedded husband, to help you serve Our Lord and obey the will of His Majesty, King Champion XIV?”
“I do,” Penny said—or at least, a voice under her veil did.
“Then with the power entrusted in me by the Southern Kingdom, I now pronounce you Lord and Lady Ever—”
BOOM! Suddenly, the roof was blasted clean off the tent! BOOM! The gazebo exploded! BOOM! Justice Evergreen’s hat was blown off his head! BOOM! BOOM! Dirt flew into the air as the front lawn was covered in explosions! BOOM! BOOM! Mrs. Evergreen screamed as huge chunks of the Evergreen house were blown away! BOOM! BOOM!
“What’s happening?” Seven shouted.
“We’re under attack!” Brystal said.
In a matter of seconds, the wedding became a war zone, and all the guests ran for their lives. The royal guards pulled Seven away from Brystal and formed a protective circle around the princes.
Brystal recognized the sound of cannons immediately, but there were so many people running amok she couldn’t see where the attack was coming from.
The firing stopped for a brief moment and the debris cleared. Brystal spotted a row of smoking cannons on the top of a nearby hill. At first, Brystal thought her eyes were deceiving her, because it looked like the cannons were being reloaded by ghosts! Their attackers wore silver robes with the images of white wolves on their chests, and their faces were hidden under masks. There were hundreds of them, and the ghostly men reloaded the cannons with bright red cannonballs that glowed in the dark.
“Don’t worry!” she told the panicked guests. “I can protect us!”
Brystal waved her wand and covered the Evergreen property in a shield like a glass dome. The men lit the cannons again, and to Brystal’s absolute horror, their cannonballs soared through the air and pierced through her shield!
BOOM! A cannonball whirled right past Brystal’s head! BOOM! BOOM! The attackers were aiming at her now! BOOM! BOOM! The blasts struck the ground, getting closer and closer to where Brystal stood! BOOM! BOOM! Brystal was in a state of shock and couldn’t move! BOOM! BOOM! She had never seen anything penetrate a magic shield before! BOOM! BOOM!
Right when Brystal was about to get hit, the attackers ran out of cannonballs—but they weren’t finished yet! A man wearing a c
rown of metal spikes appeared through the smoky haze. He descended the hill with a sack of arrows in one hand and a crossbow in the other. Brystal knew she couldn’t just stand there, but she didn’t know what to do. If their weapons could penetrate her magic, how was she supposed to save herself?
“BRYSTAL!” Seven shouted.
The prince broke free from the royal guards and sprinted across the lawn. The man on the hill loaded his crossbow and fired his first shot. Seven jumped in front of Brystal, and the arrow hit the front of his leg. He fell on the ground screaming in agony.
“Don’t just stand there!” Seven yelled at the guards. “A prince has been shot! Go after them!”
Half of the guards stayed with the princes, while the other half charged after the attackers on the hill. The archer had more than enough arrows to shoot the approaching guards, but instead, he gave the ghostly men a signal, and the attackers retreated into the countryside.
“Seven, hold still!” Brystal said. “This might hurt!”
She knelt beside him and pulled the arrow out of his leg. Seven screamed again, but Brystal waved her wand and healed his wound.
“Thanks,” Seven said.
“No, thank you,” Brystal said. “I don’t know what came over me.”
“Who are those men? Why are they attacking your brother’s wedding?”
“I don’t know,” she said. “I’ve never seen anyone like—AHHH!”
Brystal suddenly screamed because the arrow was burning her hand. She dropped it on the ground and took a closer look at it. The arrowhead was made from the same material as the cannonballs that had penetrated her shield. It was as solid as rock and flickered as if there was fire trapped inside it.
“What’s wrong?” Seven asked.
“The arrow—it burned me!” Brystal said.
Seven tapped the arrowhead with his finger but it didn’t burn him.
“Are you allergic to it?” he asked.
“But what is it?” she said.
By the time the royal guards reached the top of the hill, all the attackers had disappeared with their weapons, but the ghostly men had left a message behind. A collection of tall wooden posts had been assembled and set ablaze to spell out three words: