Nothing Happened

by Molly Booth

  “Mom, is Hana…Do you think she’s okay?”

  Mom rolled her eyes but smiled. “Apart from coming dangerously close to breaking every PDA rule in the book, she’s fine.”

  “Okay.” I bit my lip. “But I think she might be talking to him again.”

  Mom paused as she chewed a bite of her pancakes. “Why do you think that?”

  “I saw something on her phone….”

  “You two need to get off your phones.” She pointed her fork at me.

  “I’m not on my phone! This was her phone!”

  “So get off hers, sweetie.” She laughed at my defensiveness. “If she’s still talking to him, she’ll stop soon. I think Claudia will prove a good distraction.” She kissed my forehead, cleared our dishes, and got back to being the person in charge of, like, a hundred children.

  That night, after the fireworks, Margo, Hana, and I piled into the Dam bathroom again to get ready for the party. In my case, that meant blowing my nose a lot in the corner. I had my new shirt with me but didn’t have the guts to change into it yet.

  “Bee, you don’t look so good,” Margo said. “Maybe you should talk to Ben.”

  I froze, mid nose-blow. Which was gross. I finished the nose-blow.

  “What? Why should I talk to him?!” I said it louder than I meant to. Margo raised her eyebrows at me. Hana glanced over from the mirror, without moving her head.

  I quickly blew my nose again.

  “Well, he’s going to be a doctor, right?” Margo went back to touching up her eyeliner. “Maybe he’s got a cold cure-all or something?”

  “I’ve got the keys to the first aid office,” I protested. “I think I’m good.” I checked my watch. “We should get going soon. We’re already ten minutes late.”

  Hana eeped!, and Margo quickly piled her own curls into an inspired messy bun. I looked at them both, so glam. It was now or never. I ducked into the bathroom, flipped off my top, pulled the new one on, adjusted my boobs a little, took a breath, unlocked the stall door.

  “Bee!” Margo immediately screamed. You could count on her for the big reaction. Hana turned from doing her mascara, and her whole face lit up.

  I looked at myself in the mirror again, this time bolstered by my friends. A stretchy white halter, with a delicate green vine pattern moving up the straps.

  “Do you like it? I got it at Reny’s. You really can find anything there.” I put in my big silver hoop earrings with silver dangly bits, all nonchalant.

  “You look gorgeous,” Margo gushed. Hana’s big eyes shone, almost watery. I’d expected the squealing, but why was everyone so emotional suddenly?

  “So let’s go?” I asked, before everyone started crying about my halter top.

  “Let’s go!” Margo pushed us out the door.

  My stomach zigzagged as we made our way up the steep path. What was really going on here? Was I sick, or just nervous? What could I possibly be nervous about? I didn’t have to do anything about the Ben thing, if I didn’t want to.

  It’s my last summer. Just friends. He’d said those words exactly one year ago. What was I supposed to believe?

  When we were nearly at the top, I got outside of myself enough to pull Hana briefly to the side of the trail.

  “Oh, I forgot matches!” Margo exclaimed, and ran back down the hill. She was such a good sport about sister moments.

  Once we were alone, I brushed Hana’s arm. “Hey, so you and Claudia?”

  My beautiful little sister blushed in the twilight, hiking the tent strap over her shoulder. With her hair done, and that glow around her cheeks, she’d never looked cuter. “Yes?”

  “Ahh, you know…”

  “Bee, what?”

  “Sex?” The word popped out. I was trying, but the dizzy feels and the Ben stuff took up so much of my mind, it was hard to find tactful words. “You’re going to have sex, right? Tonight?”

  “I don’t, uh…” She looked down at her feet. “I think so?” she finished, finally. “Maybe? That’s what I think we planned, but with the swimming demos and checkout, we haven’t talked today.”

  My lips pursed automatically. “Okay, well, as your big sister, it is my duty to remind you that you should talk about it first.”

  “Okay.”

  “And about STDs and stuff.”

  “Okay.” She nodded.

  “And about how you feel.”

  She stopped nodding. “How I feel?”

  “Look.” I sighed. “I’ve never done this before, but I do know people who have, and it’s really important that you talk about how you feel about it first.”

  I glanced pointedly in Margo’s direction up the trail. “I mean, I have friends who have done this before they’re ready. Before they know how they feel, and how the other person feels. And it messes things up.”

  “Right.”

  “Oh, and also,” I said, rushing this part. “If you have feelings for someone else, it’s probably not a good idea to sleep with another person without talking about it.”

  Hana’s eyes got wide. “Bee—”

  “And consent! ” I finished. “Yes means yes. Got it? Great, let’s go!”

  I pushed my baffled sister up the trail. I might have been weird and out of it, but I needed to make sure she knew how I felt. My mind kept flashing back to yesterday—running into that douchebag at Reny’s. He made me feel so powerless. Well, fuck that, Christopher, you have no power here.

  At the top of the clearing, I felt the extreme urge to run into the trees and throw up. It was all too familiar. If I just avoided Ben the whole night, though, it couldn’t possibly go the same way.

  Maybe, I thought to myself, I should not have worn this shirt.

  THE EDGE OF the clearing felt like the end of the high dive. I paused, the tips of my toes clinging to the familiar surface.

  Talk first, I reminded myself. Bee was right, of course—although I didn’t know if she was right about Christopher. What did she know about Christopher?

  Bee gave me a squeeze as she walked by. I saw Ben’s eyes widen to moon-size as she made her way across the lawn. Maybe tonight, Bee and Ben would finally begin. My chest warmed at the thought, and then burst into wildfire at the sight of her—

  Claudia, sitting on a picnic blanket that she probably brought for us. She wore a blue flannel. The silver in her hair flashed in the moonlight. She picked at the grass around her. Did she feel as nervous as I did? That felt comforting.

  I vowed then, there, that I would never talk to Christopher again. Over the edge, there was something so much better.

  I stepped out and fell toward her.

  HANA RADIATED IN the darkness. She appeared like a star growing brighter on the navy sky. A small beam of light, bringing all good things.

  It wasn’t fair. I hadn’t even told her I was in love with her yet.

  Slowly, she made her way over to me, through the sparklers and the beer and the others.

  “Hi!” She sat down on the blanket next to me and set the little green tent bag behind us.

  “Hi,” I managed. This was so much harder than I thought it would be.

  “How was your day?” She ran her fingers over the back of my hand. I flinched.

  “It was…” Distracted. Torturous. Fine!

  I didn’t want to talk like this wasn’t happening. I tried to remember how I’d rehearsed with Donald.

  “Look, we need to talk about something.” That was the first part.

  “Yeah.” She settled in, leaning on her right hip and putting a hand on my leg. “I think that’s a good idea.”

  Stars shot up my body. Stop, stop, stop, stars. I took her hand off my leg. She looked confused.

  “I need to ask you something.”

  “Okay.”

  I brought my eyes to meet hers. I almost wanted to lean in to kiss her—that’s always what happened after we looked into each other’s eyes. I forced myself not to. “Are you…Are you and Christopher back together?”

  Her mouth
dropped open, but she regained composure quickly.“No! No, no, I’m not. That was…That was over in March, remember?”

  “So you’re not talking to him?”

  She bit her lip. “No.”

  Not convincing.

  “And you’re not hooking up with him?”

  “What?!” Her voice got strained and high-pitched. “No! No way. Why are you asking me about this?”

  “Please don’t lie to me,” I begged.

  “I’m not lying, Claudia.”

  “Can I look at your phone?” I held out my hand. It was shaking.

  Hana reached down to her front pocket but paused. “Actually, no.” She looked back up at me. “You can’t look at my phone.”

  The fierceness in her eyes startled me. I felt like I’d been slapped across the cheek.

  “I need to go.” I stood up, pulled at the blanket. Hana scrambled up. The tent rolled away.

  “Wait, Claudia—”

  I had to get away from her. I jogged across the clearing toward the trail. Who knew why I’d brought the picnic blanket with me. As I reached the edge, her hand touched my shoulder, I knew it was hers, and I spun around automatically.

  Big mistake. Hana’s enormous eyes bored into mine. Her perfectly braided hair was wisping out on either side, like static electricity.

  “Claudia, who told you all of this?” she demanded. Loudly.

  Behind her, I saw Donald break away from the group and start coming toward us. Good. I needed backup.

  “Stop,” I said quietly. “Just stop. You’re a liar, Hana.”

  Her face crumpled in reply. I could feel people moving toward us. Whatever. Let them find out that Hana had a lot of growing up to do. That she didn’t know how to treat people decently yet.

  Besides, I couldn’t really control myself.

  She took a breath. “Claudia, I don’t know why you’re doing this, but I—”

  “I saw you!” I cut her off. “I saw you last night, okay? You were hooking up with Christopher at the volleyball court.”

  “What are you talking about?” she gasped, but I caught an amber flicker of guilt in her eyes.

  “Claudia,” Donald said, appearing to my right. “Everything okay?”

  Hana’s hand went up to her mouth. “Claudia, no, I didn’t—”

  “Hana.” Donald turned and calmly held out a hand. “I saw you there, too. Don’t lie.”

  “You don’t lie!” she sputtered.

  Suddenly, Bee and Ben were there, too. My head reeled. I shouldn’t have—This was too much—

  “What’s going on?” Bee’s hands slid to her hips.

  “Walk away, Bee.” Donald shook his head. “You don’t want to hear any of this.”

  “Like hell I don’t!” Bee yelled at him. She glanced at me, then back to her sister. “Hana, what’s going on?” Hana went to reply, but suddenly, the other counselors were in on this, too—Connie, John, Rachel, Ellie, Dave, and Doug all hovering around us. Thanks, Bee, that was helpful.

  “Guys, calm down,” Ben said, his voice low. “Why don’t we take a deep breath, and someone can explain what’s going on.”

  Bee ignored him and turned to me. “Why’s my sister crying?”

  So many times this year I’d been bullied. So many times I’d been blamed. But this one felt worse than all the others. This wasn’t my fault. It was never my fault, but especially this.

  In an instant, I became stony, hard, cold.

  “What’s going on,” I said, “is that Hana was hooking up with Christopher without telling me.”

  Hana flung up her hands. “I would never, ever do that!” she cried.

  “That’s bullshit,” Bee replied quickly. “Utter bullshit. How did you even come up with that?”

  My voice and brain replied for me. “I saw her. Last night. At the volleyball court.”

  Bee looked at her sister—doubt—but Hana waved her hands around, shouting: “No, no, no, no, no! No, they didn’t! I wasn’t there!”

  Bee pulled her in to her side. “There you go, idiots. She wasn’t there. Did you even ask before you started accusing?”

  Donald and I exchanged a look that the whole group took in.

  “I don’t want to get into this,” he said. “But Hana was there. I saw it too.”

  “Why are you being an asshole?” Bee asked him.

  “Really?” Donald fired back. “We’re the assholes?”

  In one swift motion, he grabbed Hana’s cell phone out of her hand.

  “Donald, no!” Ben yelled.

  Too late.

  Donald opened it, held it out in the middle of the group for everyone to see. There, in the recent messages—

  Christopher.

  Total silence. Then Hana: “I…We talked, but I didn’t do anything—”

  Hana sobbed and collapsed into Bee’s shoulder. I could barely process everything that was happening, but of one thing I was sure: Hana didn’t feel the same way about me that I did about her. Hana had been talking to Christopher. Hana had hooked up with Christopher. Hana didn’t love me.

  My whole body began to shake.

  Bee snatched the phone out of Donald’s hand and gave it to Hana calmly. Bee cradled her sister for the briefest moment, then looked up again. Her glare blazed like a comet aimed at me and Donald.

  “Both of you”—she pointed at us—“stay away from my sister.” She pushed past us and ushered Hana down the trail. Hana sobbed into her shoulder.

  I immediately went to follow them. My heart still thought I cared about Hana. Donald put a hand on my shoulder and stopped me.

  As soon as they disappeared, I took off into the woods.

  I HELPED HANA up the porch stairs at Big Bat. She hadn’t untucked from my armpit—still sobbing quietly, shaking, asking choked questions:

  “Bee, you believe me, right?”

  “Of course, Hana,” I whispered.

  “Why did she think I hooked up with him?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Why doesn’t she believe me?”

  “It’s okay; it’ll be okay.”

  Of course, my idea of okay was probably vastly different from Hana’s right now. It was relatively early, and when we barged inside, my parents were curled up watching a cheesy horror movie.

  “What are you two doing here?” Dad paused the movie. He was slower on the uptake. Mom was already up and crossing the room.

  “What happened?” She drew Hana out of my arms into hers. Hana just sobbed, finally wailing at full volume.

  “Bee?” Mom looked at me wild-eyed.

  I explained that Claudia thought Hana had cheated on her and that Donald had grabbed Hana’s phone and shown all the counselors that she’d been talking to Christopher. Dad’s eyes almost went black at Christopher’s name.

  “I didn’t hook up with him again,” Hana insisted, in between sobs, looking at Mom. “I promise Mom, I didn’t.”

  “Okay, okay.” Mom smoothed her hair. “I believe you, sweetie.” But the glance my way told me otherwise.

  “We both do.” Dad hovered behind Hana and Mom.

  “Good,” I said forcefully. “I’m glad we all believe her. So you can fire Claudia and Donald tomorrow.”

  Mom pursed her lips at me. “Not now, Bee. I’m going to get Hana her pill and get her into bed.”

  “But—”

  “We’ll talk later. Stay up, we’ll talk.”

  She directed Hana upstairs. I gave one of Hana’s hands a squeeze, and she squeezed back. As I watched them go, Dad’s arms wrapped around me for a big Dad hug.

  “Hey, Bumblebee,” he said, pulling back and resting a hand on my shoulder. “Everything’ll be all right.”

  “Right.” I nodded. “If we fire them.”

  “Bee,” he sighed. “Like Mom said, we’ll talk about that later. But I want to warn you: we don’t typically fire people for romantic drama.”

  I broke away from him. “Romantic drama?!” I shouted, throwing up my hands. “Donald showe
d everyone her phone! That’s a violation of privacy!”

  “Right, and we’ll give him a warning about privacy,” Dad said calmly. “But this who-hooked-up-with-who isn’t something we want to get into the middle of. Especially—”

  “Don’t say it.” I held up a hand. “I don’t want to know how deep in the pocket of King you guys are.”

  “Bee, that’s not—”

  “I’m going for a walk.”

  I stomped to the front door and yanked it open to find Ben there, hand in a fist, poised to knock. I felt tears in my eyes as soon as I saw him.

  “Oh, hey!” His hand moved into an awkward wave. “I was just hoping to check on you and Hana. Is she—”

  “Come on,” I said, purposefully not looking back at my dad. Ben followed me down the porch stairs, onto the trail. We fell into a silent walk, side by side. I led the way to the right, toward Dam.

  How could Claudia believe that Hana had cheated on her? I’d always thought she was insecure and whatever, but I didn’t know it extended this far. How could she break up with Hana in front of everyone? What kind of person does that?

  We reached Dam’s veranda, and I sat on the wide bottom step of the stairs. I pulled my knees up to my chest and hugged them. Ben sat down, too, on the other side of the stair. I was vaguely aware that somewhere, far away and overhead, the second round of Messina fireworks were popping.

  Boiling, angry tears seared down my cheeks. I had trusted Claudia with Hana’s heart. How could she do this? She was worse than Christopher.

  “Bee? Are you crying?”

  “Uh, yup.” I didn’t look at him. “I’m probably going to be crying for a while.”

  He scooched closer to me, till our sides were touching. I was too tired and too confused to feel anything special.

  “I’m so sorry.” He hugged his legs up to his chest, too. “I don’t know what happened back there.”

  I turned and glared at him through half-filled eyes. “Claudia and Donald went asshole rogue. Hana did not bring a guy to camp and hook up with him.” Only the smallest part of me protested She might’ve, but I threw it in the trash. See, Claudia? Not that hard.