Caught by Love: A Lesbian Romance

by Jade Winters

“There now, those kissable lips won’t get burnt.” She teased with a smile. “Would you mind rubbing some lotion on my back?” she asked, handing the bottle to Hannah as she turned onto her stomach. Hannah looked down wide eyed at Alias’s flawless slender back.

  She poured a generous amount of the liquid onto her palms before placing them on Alisa’s skin. It felt unreal. Touching her body brought it home to her that she hadn’t felt naked skin since . . . she was not going to think about that today of all days. She was here to have a good time. Guiltily enjoying the impromptu contact, she gently rubbed the lotion over Alisa’s back, starting at her waist then moving slowly up towards her head. Her nerve endings tingled as she gathered up Alisa’s hair into her hands, her gaze falling to the soft curve of her neck. She could feel the heat of Alisa’s body penetrating her hands, the scent of her freshly washed hair wafting in the warm breeze.

  Alisa groaned in pleasure. “That feels so good.”

  The seductive sound of her voice caused a pleasurable shiver to travel throughout Hannah’s body. The innocent moment suddenly feeling intimate as her hands nervously fumbled with Alisa’s bra clasp as she tried to undo it.

  “Maybe it would have been a good idea to have undone this before I put the cream on my hands,” Hannah said laughing nervously as she gave up trying and instead slid her hands under the strap, quickly finishing off applying the lotion.

  Reluctantly removing her hands from her back, she wiped the excess cream over her arms. “There you go, all finished.”

  Alisa twisted her head, looking up lazily. “Do you want me to do you?”

  “Er, n-no, it’s okay,” Hannah stammered. For some bizarre reason the thought of having Alisa’s hands caressing her body would be more than she could bear. She didn’t know whether it was because of the guilt of someone else apart from Naomi touching her. But there she went again, over thinking everything. Alisa hadn’t asked to make love to her, just to put some lotion on her back. Suddenly she felt an ache in her chest at the thought of what the future held for her. She was torn between feeling attached to Naomi’s memory and also taking those tentative steps toward a future without her. She couldn’t spend the rest of her life as a spinster. What if she lived until she was seventy? Could she live without companionship or the feeling of a lover’s embrace for another forty years? The notion was too ridiculous to even consider. Naomi would be appalled at the idea.

  “Penny for your thoughts.”

  She glanced down at Alisa and impulsively pushed away a strand of hair that had fallen over her eyes. “I’m just glad to be here.”

  Alisa reached out and briefly took her hand. “I’m glad, too,” she said with a slow smile.

  Hannah took another sip of her drink and leaned back to gaze up at the little white clouds looking like puffs of smoke drifting aimlessly across the light blue sky.

  Bobby started the engine and edged the boat onto the open water. She found it comforting to be with Alisa and Bobby, her dreaded birthday was actually turning into a good one as they drifted along the Thames, drinking glass after glass of champagne and reminiscing about happy times.

  ***

  By the time darkness fell over London they were moored back at Chelsea Harbour, tipsy and worn out.

  “Well, ladies, as much as I would love to party all night with you, this old man is going to have to call it a night.”

  “Goodnight, Bobby and thanks for today,” Hannah said, holding on to him a bit longer than necessary as he leaned over her to kiss her cheek.

  “It was my absolute pleasure.” He turned to Alisa and embraced her briefly. “Be good.”

  “Am I ever anything but good?”

  Minutes later, the women sat alone in a comfortable silence, the sky black, the air finally beginning to chill.

  “Shall we go down below and have a coffee,” Alisa asked, rubbing her hands together.

  “Sure,” Hannah said, hauling herself unsteadily onto her feet.

  “Thanks for a great day, Alisa,” Hannah said as they stood by the window looking out at Chelsea Bridge.

  Alisa twisted around to face her. “No, thank you, I had a great day myself.”

  Hannah slowly raised her eyes to meet Alisa’s. “This has been the best day since. . .”

  “. . .Naomi died,” Alisa finished the words that Hannah couldn’t. “I know, sometimes I still pick up the phone to call her before I realise she won’t answer it.”

  “Do you think the pain will ever go away?”

  Alisa took Hannah’s hand in hers. “I think it will ease with time. Do you remember this?” she said, taking a picture from the window sill. Hannah looked at the photo and laughed. It was one of the last happy days the three of them had spent together. Burying her hands in her face the dam broke and the tears she had fought so hard to keep back unabashedly flowed.

  “I’m sorry, it’s just. . .” Hannah groped for the words as she tried to smile through the tears.

  In a sympathetic tone Alisa said, “I know, Hannah. It’s alright.” Encircling her in her arms she felt her wet tears against her skin as Hannah buried her face against her neck.

  “I don’t want to end the day on a sad note,” Hannah said, slowly lifting her head up and pausing when it was inches away from Alisa’s face. There was an undeniable magnetism between them as Hannah’s lips parted and she leaned towards her, brushing Alisa’s mouth with her lips. Alisa could do nothing except pull her closer, crushing herself against her body and returning her kiss with reckless abandonment. She savoured the sweet taste of her tongue. Encouraged by Hannah’s eager response, their kiss grew deeper and Alisa pushed her up against the window, running her hand down her body reaching between her legs. Hannah gasped and pulled at her hand but Alisa persisted. Hannah threw her head back as Alisa pressed her mouth against her neck.

  Suddenly Hannah pushed Alisa away. Flushed and breathing hard she said, “I’m sorry, I can’t.”

  “It’s okay,” Alisa said, her eyes half closed with desire. She gently took Hannah’s arm and tried to coax her to sit down next to her on the sofa. Her legs felt like jelly. She was afraid if she didn’t get off her feet, she would crumple in a heap.

  Pulling her arm free Hannah said, “No it’s not okay. What the hell was I thinking?” Her face suddenly contorted with anger. “Is this what happened between you and Naomi?”

  Alisa was taken aback. She held her palms out in front of her. “I think we need to clear the air about that.”

  Hannah squeezed her eyes shut. “Please, don’t. I don’t want to hear it. . . .”

  Alisa lifted herself off the sofa and took a step towards her. “But I need to put the record straight Hannah,” she pleaded.

  Hannah’s eyes widened. “I thought you were the one that said what was done was done.”

  “But unless I tell you the truth it’s going to always be the white elephant in the room.”

  Hannah moved to the other side of the room and sat at the dining table, crossing her arms and legs. “Okay. Get it off your chest, then.”

  “Don’t you want to know the truth?”

  She flashed Alisa a cold smile. “I thought I knew it already.”

  “No, you heard half of a story, but not mine.”

  “So what’s your side then?”

  “I know you’ve believed all this time that I made a pass at Naomi but I swear to you, I didn’t. I wouldn’t have.”

  Hannah’s eyes radiated torment and confusion. “Is that it? You want me to believe you over her? For what reason would she lie about you? Her best friend.”

  Alisa felt wedged between the truth and a lie. Judging by the way Hannah was looking at her she realised she may have actually made things worse. She couldn’t tell her why Naomi had lied. She just couldn’t do that to her.

  Hannah stood, seemingly mistaking her silence for guilt. She slowly shook her head and said, “Just like I thought.”

  “Please, Hannah, I wouldn’t lie to you.”

  “But Naomi would,
is that what you’re saying? You come up with some half cocked story that you can’t back up and there’s no way she can answer for herself.”

  “No, I’m not saying that—”

  “Then what are you saying? God, I can’t believe I trusted you and you betrayed me. You were like a sister to me.” Tears glistened on her flushed face. “Did you get some kind of thrill out of tricking me?” she half screamed. “Why are you still lying to me? What could you possibly be getting by still hurting me?” The tears choked her voice.

  Hannah’s words hit Alisa like a knife in the heart. Why hadn’t she just let the matter drop? Now she had really put her foot in it. “You’ve got this all wrong,” Alisa said meekly, feeling like she had no energy left to fight her corner. The lies had won their battle over the truth and that was the end of it. Bobby was right, she couldn’t compete with a ghost.

  Hannah turned on her, her eyes fierce with fire. “No, you’re the one who’s got it wrong, Alisa, for taking me for a fool. Did you just bank on Naomi never telling me, is that what it was? Do you know what I just think? It’s best I leave.”

  “Please, don’t leave like this.” Alisa wanted to reach out and comfort her, to make the pain go away. She took another step towards her.

  Hannah was still firing on all cylinders as she squared up to Alisa. Her face was a glowering mask of rage. “Leah was right about you. You’re like a snake in the grass, always looking for your next prey. You don’t care who you hurt with your lies. I hope Skye comes to her senses before she gets further involved with you.”

  Alisa was rendered speechless. “Skye? W-what?” she stuttered.

  “Oh save your act, Leah told me about the two of you as well.”

  Puzzled by this new accusation Alisa said, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  Hannah rolled her eyes. “No, I’m sure you don’t—always the innocent one, aren’t you. I’m actually glad you brought this out into the open. Naomi said you’d deny it. You’re so predictable, Alisa.”

  Alisa threw her hands in the air. She suddenly felt drained in the face of Hannah’s anger. If it was justified she would have sat there all night and listened to her ranting. But it wasn’t. All she had done was keep a secret. A secret that she knew would break Hannah’s heart. If she didn’t put an end to this now she was going to end up telling her a few home truths. “Fine, believe what the fuck you want. I give up. Go and live in your bubble, Hannah. I don’t know why I even bother. Don’t worry, after this film is finished that’s the last you’ll ever hear from me. Now if you don’t mind, I’m going to bed, let yourself out!”

  One day Hannah would find out the truth, unlike herself, Leah wasn’t that good an actress. She’d slip up and show Hannah who she really was. She just hoped she wasn’t around to see her house of cards come crumbling down when she did.

  ***

  Hannah could hear the distant sound of traffic as she lay motionless on her bed staring up at the ceiling. She was wide awake and full of regret. What had she done? She didn’t realise she was still so angry about the past. All the hurt she had been suppressing had finally erupted.

  But had she reacted this way because of anger or because of guilt? She had kissed another woman. One second her mind had been on Naomi, the next on Alisa’s lips. She closed her eyes and she was transported onto the boat again—in Alisa’s arms, the sweet taste of her mouth. Just the thought was deeply arousing.

  It was times like this she wished she could just go and talk to her mother. But she could just imagine what she would say. She’d be horrified. But Alisa was irresistible, even more so with the vast amount of alcohol that was in her system.

  She rolled onto her side. What did this mean for their relationship now? Had she fallen into the same trap Naomi had? Why was Alisa still denying what had happened? She could have forgiven Alisa anything if she had just admitted that it was poor judgement on her behalf and she was sorry. It was the lying that made it so hard for her to let go. Alisa was in essence smearing Naomi’s name.

  Giving up on trying to go to sleep, she threw the quilt back and switched the bedside lamp on before climbing out of bed and slipping into her dressing gown. Her mouth felt dry and she desperately needed water and a couple of aspirin for the headache that was brewing. She only hoped she could get down to the kitchen without waking her mother. She couldn’t take another confrontation.

  Opening her door and using the light that spilled out into the dark hallway she made her way down the stairs. She paused at the bottom, her bare feet adjusting to the coolness of the tiles as she saw the kitchen door ajar. To pile misery on misery, she was disappointed to see her mother sat at the kitchen table, a cup of tea in front of her. She looked up as Hannah entered. Tired and bedraggled, her mother’s normally immaculate hair looked spiky and wild. She hardly recognised her without any make-up on.

  Maggie cocked her head to one side. “Oh, you’re home.”

  Hannah moved furtively towards the table. “Yes, I’ve been back few hours. I assumed you were asleep.”

  “Would you like a cup of tea?”

  “No, thanks. I just wanted to get some water. I’ve got to get up in a few hours. We’re shooting in the Cotswolds today.”

  “Oh, really. How long will you been gone?”

  “A couple of days.”

  Maggie peered at her from under her lashes. “Did you have a nice birthday?”

  Tugging at the front of her satin dressing gown Hannah replied, “Yes, thanks.”

  “Where’d you go?”

  Lowering her gaze Hannah said quietly, “Oh, nowhere special, I met up with an old friend and we just hung out.”

  Maggie busied herself, clearing the table of newpapers but kept her head down. “I see. Don’t you think it would have been the polite thing to have let me know? I had made plans for us to see a show.”

  Hannah felt dreadful now. “I’m not a mind reader, Mum.”

  She looked up at her. “It was meant to be a surprise.”

  Hannah met her stare. “I’m sorry. Can’t we go another day,” she asked, sitting down opposite her mother.

  “It doesn’t matter.” Maggie pushed her chair back and stood, taking her cup to the sink.

  “Yes, it does. I’m sorry—it was very inconsiderate of me to have left the house without telling you first.” Hannah put her hands on the table and let out a sigh. “I just couldn’t bear to be here on my birthday, there were too many memories.”

  Maggie moved to her side and laid a comforting hand on her head stroking it whilst she spoke. “I thought as much. I was just worried about you. But Hannah, like it or not, you’re going to have to stop running one day and face up to what you’re feeling.”

  If only it was that easy, Hannah thought, her mind flicking back to Alisa. She didn’t know what she felt anymore. Instead of things getting easier they were just becoming more and more complicated.

  Chapter 30

  Alisa arrived at Paddington station with five minutes to spare before departure. She had gone through another sleepless night only managing to get in a couple of hours before her alarm clock startled her out of her sleep and nearly caused her heart to explode.

  She hurried along the busy platform, dragging her case on wheels behind her and side stepping passengers who had stopped to gawp at her as they tried to figure out if she was actually the Alisa Forbes or someone who showed an uncanny resemblance to her.

  Finally reaching the first class section, she waited patiently while an elderly couple boarded in front of her. It didn’t take her long to find Hannah. As she slid the carriage door open, Hannah was seated by the window, turning over pages of the script, with her glasses perched on her nose in that peculiar way that only happened on one of her marathon reading sessions. When she glanced up and caught sight of Alisa, a faint blush coloured her cheeks.

  “Do you have any objection to me sitting here?” Alisa asked, motioning to the seat opposite her.

  “No, don’t be silly.” />
  Alisa raised her eyebrows in surprise. “No Leah?”

  “No, she just called. There was an emergency with her mother.”

  “That’s a shame.”

  “Yes it was. She was very disappointed.”

  “I’m sure she’ll get over it,” Alisa said, putting her bag in the overhead compartment and settling into the seat.

  Hannah looked down and resumed reading her papers as the train began to glide away from the station, rattling and swaying lightly to and fro as it began to pick up speed. Within an hour the outside scenery had changed from a mass of grey buildings into acres of lush green pastures scattered with grazing cows and sheep. For a long time Alisa stared out the window enjoying the simplicity of nature before turning her attention to Hannah.

  Awkwardly she cleared her throat. “Hannah.”

  “Yes.” Hannah looked up at her with a blank stare.

  “About the other night.”

  Hannah regarded her quizzically for a moment. “What about it?”

  “I want to apologise,” Alisa replied tentatively.

  “There’s no need. I think it was best that we cleared the air a bit.”

  “I’m relieved to hear that. I thought you still hated me.”

  “Alisa, I’ve never hated you—just what you did.”

  Alisa bit her lip. Something cautioned her not to get dragged into another battle she had no way of winning. For now she would just settle for the fact that Hannah was actually talking to her. She leaned back into her seat and remained silent as she watched Hannah return to her work. Sometimes the less said the better.

  Suddenly the door opened and a man with a red waistcoat and matching trousers stepped in, pushing his cart ahead of him. The odour of coffee oozed from the pot into the small space.

  “Would you like anything?” he asked, looking at Alisa first.

  “Just a coffee, please. Hannah do you want anything?”

  Hannah returned her gaze and then said to the server, “Yes, tea, please.”

  The server poured their drinks and laid them on the table before exiting the cabin.

  “So how’s your mum?” asked Alisa.