Stand by Me

by S. D. Robertson

  God, he’d been so looking forward to this moment. He’d been nervous, of course, but only because meeting Henry in person for the first time had meant so much to him. He’d thought today might be the first time he would actually kiss another boy; have the real physical contact that he so desired.

  But that was when he thought Henry was a teenager like him. Sure, he’d seemed wiser and more comfortable with his sexuality than Ben. Come to think of it, there had even been times when the tone of his voice – expressions he’d used – had sounded unusual to Ben’s ears. But he’d put that down to Henry, who was already ‘out’, being slightly older than he was – and perhaps a little eccentric. Now the truth had emerged – and it was horrifying, shattering everything that had gone before into a million little pieces. He wanted to pinch himself to check he wasn’t in a nightmare, but he knew that wouldn’t help. This was reality, right enough, and it was awful. Today was a genuine contender for the worst day of his life.

  Ben had a million questions he wanted to ask Henry, but he could barely bring himself to look at him, never mind hold a conversation. It made his skin crawl to hear the voice he recognised – that he’d confessed some of his deepest, darkest secrets to – coming out of the mouth of this creepy guy he was seeing for the first time.

  The photo Henry used online, of a hot seventeen-year-old Ben had hoped might be his first boyfriend, didn’t look remotely like him.

  ‘That’s not even a younger version of you in your photo, is it?’ he spat, remaining on his feet and sliding to the right, so the couch was no longer blocking his exit.

  ‘I’m so sorry, Ben,’ Henry replied, his bottom lip wobbling like a toddler.

  ‘So who is it in the picture?’

  Henry shook his head, breathing heavily. ‘I don’t know. It was a random photo I found online. I didn’t think anyone would be interested in talking to someone like me, so I—’

  ‘Lied. That’s what you did. Don’t pretend it was anything else. God, I can’t believe all the personal stuff I told you. You stole that from me. You’re disgusting.’

  Henry moved to get up from his kneeling position on the floor, making Ben panic. ‘Stop. Don’t come any closer,’ he said, pulling out his mobile and brandishing it like a weapon. ‘Seriously, if you do, I’ll call the police and report you. I’m sure they’d love to hear how you tricked me into visiting you; how you impersonated a teenager.’

  ‘No, no, please don’t do that,’ Henry said, crumbling back on to the floor, squeezing his head in his hands and rocking backwards and forwards. ‘I didn’t mean for this to happen. I wanted to tell you the truth ages ago, but I could never find the right moment. I was afraid you’d freak out.’

  ‘Well, you got that last bit right.’

  ‘I’d never do anything to hurt you. You have to know that. We had such a strong connection. I couldn’t stop myself. I felt like I was falling in love with you.’

  This comment was the final straw for Ben. He’d continued to back away and there were several metres between them now. Without warning, he darted for the door. His fingers fumbled with the latch as his eyes remained on Henry, who was on his feet and moving towards him, pleading even as Ben shouted warnings for him to stay put.

  Then the door was open and Ben inhaled the cool stale air of the windowless corridor. He raced back towards the lift, saw a flight of stairs and hurtled down that instead, two steps at a time, not daring to look back to see if he was being followed.

  Reaching the ground floor, he tore past the lift, terrified it might open and spit Henry into his path, and headed straight for the front door.

  Ben shoved both palms against the cold glass, his panicked face reflecting back at him, but the door merely rattled in place.

  ‘What the hell is this?’ he said, looking back over his shoulder, relieved to see that he was still alone, and then pushing the door again in desperation.

  Nothing. Shit. What did this mean? Did he need a key or someone to buzz him out?

  Frantically he scoured the area around the door for some clue, his eyes finally landing on a large green button on the wall. Of course. He pressed it and, without another backward glance, pushed his way out on the street and ran at full speed back the way he’d come.

  Ben didn’t stop until he was several streets away, by which time he was panting and coated in sweat. Still he scanned the area around him for any sign of Henry, checking each of the dozens of faces passing by.

  He changed direction and ran again, continuing this time until he reached the busy open space that was Piccadilly Gardens. Only here was he finally happy to stop – to grab a spare spot on a bench and catch his breath. He wiped his brow with the thick hair on his forearms and, despite the very public setting, couldn’t stop himself from bursting into tears.

  Once he’d calmed down, Ben spotted an icy can of lemonade changing hands between a drinks vendor and a passer-by. It reminded him of how thirsty he was. He wished he could gulp it down in one. But he wasn’t going to be buying any drinks without his wallet. He didn’t even know how he would get home. So he did the only thing he could think of: he used the small amount of credit left on his phone to text Chloe, begging for help.

  Back in the present, still in the car heading home, Ben finished telling Elliot and his sister the heavily edited, fictionalised version of what had happened.

  ‘So you went to meet this guy to buy computer parts?’ Chloe asked, screwing her face up like she wasn’t convinced by his improvisation. ‘Why didn’t you get them off eBay or something?’

  ‘They were crazy cheap,’ Ben replied. ‘It didn’t occur to me until I met him, stupidly I know, that they were probably off the back of a lorry. We’ve chatted a few times before on this IT forum and he’s always given me good advice.

  ‘I thought he was all right, but in the flesh he seemed shifty. And when I told him about having my wallet stolen, I don’t think he believed it. He started having a go at me, saying I was a timewaster and asking me to turn my pockets out to prove it, which is when I got freaked and ran out of his flat. I overreacted really, but – you know – after what I thought had happened on the bus …’

  Elliot hadn’t said much so far, which Ben was glad about. He had feared he might start asking him for specifics about the made-up computer parts, which could have proved awkward. But when he did speak, it was to point out that Ben ought to be more careful meeting people from the Internet.

  ‘It was dangerous meeting someone you didn’t know like that, mate,’ he said. ‘Especially not telling anyone where you were going. There are some weirdos out there.’

  ‘You’re not going to say anything to Mum and Dad, are you?’

  ‘By rights, I ought to. Especially knowing what I do now.’

  ‘Oh, come on. That’s not fair. I only told you because—’

  ‘Hold your horses. I didn’t say I would, did I? Are you going to learn from what happened today and do things differently – safer – next time?’

  ‘Definitely.’

  ‘That’s good enough for me. What about you, Chloe?’

  ‘Sorry?’

  ‘I want you to learn from this too. I don’t want you making similar mistakes one day.’

  ‘I won’t.’

  ‘Good. You’ve only got one life, kids. Don’t put it at risk needlessly. Now I’m not going to lie to your parents, but if they do find out what happened, it won’t be from me. That’s my best offer.’

  ‘Thank you,’ Ben replied. ‘What about you, Chloe?’

  She’d just received a text – as indicated by that ridiculous cat meow she insisted on using for her notification sound. After frowning at her mobile for a long moment, she turned to him with hazy eyes. ‘Sorry. What was that?’

  Ben resisted the temptation to snap. ‘You’re not going to say anything to Mum and Dad, are you?’

  She shook her head. ‘Of course not.’

  ‘That wasn’t them, was it? The text.’

  ‘No.’

 
; He breathed a sigh of relief. ‘Good. Cheers, sis.’

  CHAPTER 24

  NOW

  Tuesday, 24 July 2018

  Elliot was running out of time. He could feel it. He didn’t know how. He just could. Like he could sense so much that had happened recently, such as that weird Sandie woman in Manchester somehow perceiving the truth about his presence here.

  Yesterday, despite that particular near miss, he’d relished the opportunity to get closer to Ben and Chloe. Hopefully he’d done enough to gain their trust – at least to some degree. Mike, on the other hand, was going to be a harder nut to crack. The clock was ticking and he needed to step things up.

  How many days did he have left? This wasn’t a question he had the answer to, and yet he knew it wasn’t many. He imagined a taut piece of string gradually being pulled tighter and tighter, destined to break.

  As he pictured this, his mind jumped back to before his arrival here: to the place that was nowhere and everywhere; the bright room with no light source and the man in the black suit called Will.

  ‘Why’s this place so inhospitable?’ he asked as Will returned to sit down opposite him at the table. ‘It feels like an interrogation room.’

  ‘Really?’ Will frowned. ‘I’m sorry about that. People don’t always perceive it in the same way. Is there anything I can do to make you more comfortable?’

  ‘No, it’s fine.’

  ‘You’ll be out of here soon, anyway. I’ve had the final go-ahead for your return to Aldham. I just need to brief you about a few matters.’

  Firstly, he brought Elliot up to speed on Lisa and her family, giving him an almost omniscient insight into their various circumstances. This knowledge came with a warning. It was crucial he didn’t draw attention to or reveal the truth about his presence there. Will advised him to brush up on his acting skills to hide how much he now knew. He emphasised that failure to comply could bring his visit to an immediate halt, before running through a list of other rules and instructions.

  But it was the last thing he mentioned that really piqued Elliot’s interest: ‘During your visit, you’ll be able to interact with people normally. However, you’ll also have certain, um, extra abilities to help you along the way.’

  ‘Sorry, I don’t understand.’

  Will let out a short sigh. ‘I’d like to tell you more, but I can’t. Rules. You’ll understand when you’re there and the time is right.’ He lowered his voice. ‘What I will say is to use these gifts wisely and, er, sparingly. Everything has a cost. And remember: this whole trip is a rare privilege.’

  Well, that’s as clear as mud, Elliot thought. ‘How will I contact you when I’m there?’

  ‘You won’t.’

  Since then he’d learned not to question too much about the here and now. He had to make the most of it while he could. That was his focus. The rest, like the great unknown waiting in the wings, he compartmentalised – a skill honed while running his company in Australia. He had to live in the now, focusing on the task in hand. Otherwise he’d fail, which wasn’t an option.

  It was a balmy summer evening. The warm sun remained high in the sky and the meaty, chargrilled smell of multiple barbecues floated in the breeze, accompanied by the happy cries of children splashing in paddling pools and having water fights.

  Good weather like this meant so much more here than it did in Sydney, where hot summers were taken for granted. In the north of England, it was a rare treat: a fleeting moment of good fortune to be embraced and cherished. Not than any northerner worth their salt would admit this, particularly to a southerner. But Elliot knew the truth from his years of growing up here. Grown men would take their tops off in the street at temperatures considered coat weather down under. He’d even passed a couple today, the sight making him smile.

  Weather-wise, Elliot had been spoiled for the past two decades. But since this was the first glorious day he’d experienced since his return to Aldham – and potentially the last – he appreciated it like the local he used to be.

  He strolled up the drive of the small modern semi, six-pack of beer tucked under his left arm, and rang on the bell. As he waited for the door to open, he wondered whether he’d recognise his host – the closest he’d ever come to a younger brother – after so long. Like his sister, Jamie wasn’t much of one for social media; Elliot had seen a couple of photos of him, but they only ever told half the story. Then the door swung open and the years tumbled away as that cheeky smile he knew of old beamed back at him.

  ‘As I live and breathe,’ Lisa’s younger brother, now a strapping thirty-something with thick stubble and a receding hairline, boomed. Arms stretched out wide, he threw them around Elliot and pulled him into a bear hug, slapping him on the back.

  ‘Lise told me you’d changed a bit, mate, but bloody hell. If I hadn’t been expecting you, I’m not sure I’d have recognised you.’ Releasing his grip and taking a step back into the hallway, he added: ‘What about me? Have I changed much?’

  Jamie, dressed in khaki shorts and a fitted polo shirt, did a model-like pose as Elliot looked him up and down. ‘Your hair’s darker than I remember and there’s not quite as much of it.’ He winked. ‘Other than that, I don’t know. You seem to have aged pretty well. Do you still do Fresh Prince impressions?’

  ‘Haha. You remember those? Depends how much I’ve had to drink. Ask me later. Anyway, get your arse off that doormat and come in. Why the hell are you wearing jeans on a day like this?’

  ‘Hey, it’s not that warm. I’m used to Sydney summers.’

  ‘Bloody show off.’

  ‘Here,’ Elliot said, handing over the beer as he stepped inside. ‘Let me give you this. It’s not cold, I’m afraid, but—’

  ‘Cheers. I’ll stick it in the fridge. Don’t worry, there’s plenty chilled for now. Lisa and the others are here already. They’re in the back garden.’

  He gestured for Elliot to follow him into the house, adding: ‘I’d ask you how life in Oz was treating you, but I think that’s pretty obvious. Aren’t you a millionaire now?’

  Elliot laughed at Jamie’s directness. ‘My company is doing all right.’

  ‘You’ve created some kind of mobile app, haven’t you?’

  ‘Yes, it’s an educational game aimed at pre-schoolers. It teaches basic maths and literary skills on smartphones and tablets. It’s been very popular in Australia and America. Hopefully it will be released over here soon too.’

  ‘Nice one,’ Jamie said, loading the new beers into the fridge and handing Elliot a cold one. ‘Where did you get the idea from? Have you got kids?’

  Elliot shook his head. ‘No, I’m single. I’ve never settled down. We did a lot of market research when we were developing the app, but I do also have quite a few friends and colleagues in Sydney with young children. The germ of the idea came from spending time with them.’

  ‘Oh, okay. Have you never fancied having any of your own?’

  ‘I have, actually. I love kids, but it just hasn’t happened. Work’s kept me very busy.’

  ‘There’s still time, mate.’

  If only, Elliot thought. From here he could see Lisa, Mike and Ben sitting on deckchairs in the small garden, while Chloe chased two screaming younger girls around, squirting them with a brightly coloured water gun. A black kettle barbecue was smoking away next to the rear fence. ‘Those must be your two,’ he said, picking up a bottle opener from the worktop and flicking the cap off his beer.

  Jamie nodded proudly. ‘That’s right, mate. Hannah is seven and Emily is five. They always love seeing their big cousins. I only have them three nights a week. I don’t know if Lisa told you, but their mum and I split up a while ago.’

  Elliot nodded, raising his beer in the direction of a framed photo of the girls, all blonde hair and blue eyes, like Jamie had been back in the day. ‘They’re cute. Must take after her.’

  Jamie laughed. ‘Very good. So this is the kind of banter I can expect from you these days, is it? You’re a bit of a pl
ayer now, I suppose, since you got so buff. What’s your secret, anyway?’

  ‘The warm weather and the beaches help. It’s more appealing to get out there and do something active: running, swimming, surfing and so on. Ian, my stepdad, was the one who got me into keeping fit, initially. He taught me that changing your whole lifestyle – developing a good daily routine and sticking to it – was the key.’

  ‘Nothing to do with impressing all those hot chicks in bikinis, then. Unless … you’ve not started batting for the other team, have you? It’s fine if you have. There’ll be no judgement from me. I’m a modern man. That would certainly explain—’

  ‘Explain what? Why I have no kids? You know that gay guys do that too these days, right? But no, I’m still straight.’

  Jamie winked. ‘Are you sure? I thought I caught you checking out my bum. It’s fine. I’m used to it. Happens a lot at the gym.’

  ‘Yes, yes. I can see that you work out, Jamie. No need to drop hints about the gym.’

  ‘Touché.’

  Elliot smiled at how easily he and Jamie had slipped back into their old habit of ribbing each other. He was sure the two of them would have stayed close had he not moved to the other side of the world. Mind you, Jamie needed to be careful with the gay comments around his nephew. Clearly he had no idea, but that was hardly a surprise bearing in mind how careful Ben was about concealing the truth. Not that it was doing him any good. Elliot was going to have to talk to him about that soon. But first he had to work out a way to explain how he knew; ‘I just do – I can’t explain it,’ was unlikely to wash with him.

  ‘Come on then,’ Jamie said. ‘Let’s get out in the garden with the others. I’ll introduce you to my girls, but don’t be offended if they pull a face at you and run off. They’re not good with strangers.’

  A few hours, several drinks, lots of food and a shared clean-up effort later, Jamie announced that he needed to put his girls to bed.