The Real Deal

by Lucy Monroe

  She kissed his chest and he felt that tender salute to the bottom of his soul.

  Amanda woke up to the disorienting sensation of being surrounded by living heat. Then she remembered. She was in Simon’s bed, in his arms. His quite naked arms. It was almost identical to the time she’d fallen asleep waiting for him to relax his hold on her. His hand was on her breast, hers was against his chest, and their legs were entwined.

  Only this time, she knew she belonged.

  He’d pulled her into his bed after their bath without giving her the option of returning to her own room.

  She hadn’t minded.

  Given her druthers, she’d never leave Simon’s bed again.

  She allowed herself a small smile at that bit of fantasy. She could just see Jacob bringing them the necessary provisions while they pursued a life of debauchery, never leaving the haven of Simon’s bedroom.

  It didn’t feel like debauchery when their bodies were joined, though. It felt spiritual. Did Simon experience the same thing? She had no way of knowing. She’d been a virgin with little heavy petting experience when she’d married Lance and she’d never had sex with another man. Until now.

  It felt funny, knowing they weren’t married.

  She supposed in that way too, she was anachronistic. Even feeling odd about it though, she wasn’t going to walk away from her first experience with real passion. Because something had hit her about halfway through their decadent bath. It wasn’t just a matter of passion, but of love.

  She was in love with Simon Brant. Really in love. It was only as the overwhelming emotions coursed through her that she accepted that the lukewarm feelings she had had for Lance had been as much to do with seeking her family’s approval, as they had to do with any sort of attraction she’d had for the smooth manipulator.

  What she felt for Simon was so elemental, it was scary. The thought of him with another woman made her sick and she could not imagine ever letting another man touch her the way Simon had touched her. She wasn’t naïve enough to think Simon was considering a long-term commitment to her, but that didn’t alter the way she felt.

  He’d told her one of his objections to getting involved was the fact their lives did not mesh. Which said to her that he wasn’t looking for ways to make them mesh.

  Because of her past, she wasn’t sure that even if he did want a permanent future with her, she could pursue it. The thought of being married again terrified her. Men changed after marriage. Lance had been complimentary and charming, right up until the honeymoon.

  The little digs had started on their wedding night.

  Rationally, she knew Simon wasn’t another Lance. However, emotions weren’t always rational and hers were scarred.

  Was she selfish and wicked for wanting to take all she could of Simon, to replace the memories of a devastating failure of a marriage with the amazing beauty of Simon’s lovemaking?

  Simon stirred, his eyes flicked open and for several seconds they just stared at each other.

  “What time is it?”

  She went up on one elbow to look over his shoulder at the digital alarm clock. “A little after seven.”

  “We missed dinner.”

  Her stomach growled at the words, reminding her she’d missed her other meals today too. They’d made love right through lunch. “We could always go down and raid the kitchen.”

  “It’s not that late. Jacob probably has something waiting for us.”

  The thought of facing the irascible old man after spending hours in Simon’s bedroom daunted her. “Probably.”

  His hand cupped her chin. “What’s the matter?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Come on, baby. You’ve gone tense.”

  “Jacob probably thinks I’m a floozy.”

  “Floozy? Do they still use words like that in Southern California?” he asked with laughter in his voice.

  “No, well, not that I’ve heard, but I bet Jacob does.”

  “You’re not a floozy, Amanda.”

  “I know that. Women and men make love all the time without a major commitment.”

  His thumb brushed her lips. “But not you.”

  She felt way too vulnerable, but she couldn’t lie. “Not me.”

  He kissed her so softly, so tenderly that she felt tears prick her eyes. “This isn’t casual sex, Amanda. Not for me.”

  Her breath came out on a broken sigh. “Not for me either.”

  He didn’t say anything else, which left her wondering what the afternoon had been, if not casual sex. No way did he love her, but he didn’t sound like the past few hours had been an indulgence of physical pleasure and nothing else, either.

  That would have to be enough. She put her hand over his on her face. “Shall we go get some dinner?”

  He didn’t say anything for a second, his gunmetal eyes probing her own, making her wish she could close them and hide whatever he might find.

  Finally, his hand dropped from her. “Sure.” He slid out of the other side of the bed. “Stay here while I run down and grab your suitcase.”

  “Okay.”

  She watched in hungry fascination as he covered his nakedness with a pair of do bok pants. He was only semierect, but he was still bigger than Lance had been with a full arousal.

  Did the guy ever go totally soft?

  He was funny about her seeing him completely excited, though. She hadn’t noticed at first, but he’d kept his body averted from her when they got out of the bath, wearing a towel until they’d gotten in the bed. And the last time they’d made love, he’d kept the sheet over the lower half of his body until just before joining their bodies.

  He also hadn’t asked her to put the condom on him. She’d been too shy to ask, but she wanted to touch him there.

  Maybe she’d work up the courage later.

  She was contemplating the prospect when Simon came back carrying not only her suitcase, but the rest of her things as well.

  “Wouldn’t it have been easier to just grab my suitcase?” She didn’t need her laptop to get dressed.

  He dropped the luggage at the end of the bed. “We’d just have to bring it up later. I thought I’d save myself a trip.”

  That sounded like she was moving into his bedroom. “Uh . . . Simon?”

  He’d turned away to pull clothes out of the dresser. “What?”

  “Am I sleeping here now?”

  He spun around to face her. “Don’t you want to?” He sounded defensive and his expression was wary.

  “It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s just that . . . Are you sure I won’t be in the way? What about when you want to work?”

  “You’re not sleeping in my lab.”

  “But Jacob said you don’t even like him to come up and clean when you’re in a work mode.”

  He grabbed a pair of jeans and dark gray T-shirt from the drawer. “If you want your own space, just say so.”

  She thought about sleeping in Simon’s arms, waking up with him and making love to him. “I’d rather sleep here.”

  Chapter 13

  The next morning as she stared blindly at her computer screen, having just read an e-mail from Daniel, Amanda questioned the prudence of her decision to move into Simon’s bedroom.

  Who was she kidding? Prudence had nothing to do with it. For the first time she could remember, she had made a decision based wholly on emotion. She’d ignored the ramifications it might have for her career, the temporary nature of the liaison, and even how such a choice would impact how others like Jacob, Eric Brant, and her own coworkers saw her.

  Why? Because she was in love, and she was discovering that emotion was more powerful than intellect, and more driving than reason. It had to be, or how could she have allowed herself to fall for Simon Brant?

  But, until the merger went through, if it went through, he wasn’t just a business associate, he was a key player for Extant Corp’s competition, a rival. With his intransigence toward the merger, he also stood between her and success
at her job. Their relationship, such as it was, was temporary. They were from totally different worlds and one day soon, she would have to go back to hers. He’d made that point and he was right.

  Love should have no place in any equation that included him as a variable. Not when every indicator on both a business and personal level marked doom for anything lasting between them.

  He wasn’t looking for permanence with a woman. The only driving compulsions in his life were his inventions and computer designs.

  The one woman he had ever considered marrying was the total opposite of Amanda. Elaine Brant was slim, gorgeous, and a social butterfly. She’d drawn Simon out of his quiet self-containment at dinner the other evening far more easily than Amanda ever could have done.

  How could she have let herself love someone so programmed not to love her back?

  If that incredible folly wasn’t enough to convince her she’d lost her mind, she’d gone to bed with him. Okay. That part had been wonderful. More than wonderful. It had been life altering. She would never see herself the same way again now that she knew the sensual creature Simon’s touch could evoke. Only what was going to happen to her when he decided he didn’t want her in his bed anymore? Lance’s rejection had hurt her; she feared that rejection from Simon could come close to destroying her.

  If she had two brain cells to rub together, she would get off his island and never see him again. Because the longer she let herself be with him, the more it was going to hurt when it was over.

  Had she so much as considered this yesterday when he’d come traipsing up the stairs with her things? No. She’d moved in with him instead.

  It was incomprehensible to her. She was not an impetuous person. She took her time making major changes in her life. Look how long she had put up with Lance. Yet, yesterday, she had been staying in Simon’s house and today, she was living with him. She felt like she’d stepped onto one of the scare rides at Disneyland with no hope of getting off.

  The issues that had seemed unimportant yesterday loomed as shadowy giants in front of her today.

  What would happen if Daniel found out she was having an affair with Simon? Bile rose in her throat at the thought that he would think she was following his smarmy advice.

  When Daniel had given it, he had assumed she was already sleeping with Simon. She had known she wasn’t. So, as ugly as the advice had been, it had had no power to really touch her. Now she was Simon’s lover and, even though she’d done nothing wrong in regard to her business with him, she felt like her professional integrity had been compromised.

  She knew she wouldn’t try to sway Simon’s opinion with sex, but knowing that was what Daniel expected made her feel unclean anyway.

  She hated feeling like that, but the only way to change it seemed to be to stop being with Simon. Her heart twisted painfully and she acknowledged that she was already past the point of leaving Simon without emotional damage.

  She responded to an e-mail from one of her coworkers as the problem gnawed at her conscience.

  What if she told Simon about Daniel’s recommendation and that she didn’t want him to make any decisions based on their intimacy? He might scuttle the merger on the strength of his revulsion toward Daniel alone. Simon had a lot more integrity than her boss. His reaction to the knowledge of what Daniel wanted her to do was bound to be at least as bad as her own. No, she definitely should not tell Simon about that part, but she could still tell him that she didn’t want to influence him with their personal relationship.

  If he changed his mind about the merger, she wanted it to be because he was swayed by the facts she’d presented to him, not because of sex.

  All she had to do was tell him.

  Jumping up from the table Simon had installed in his bedroom for her use as a makeshift desk, she crossed the room to knock on the door to his laboratory. He didn’t answer. She waited a few seconds and knocked again. Still nothing. She knew he was in there. She knocked one last time. She tried the handle. It turned.

  Of course it did.

  He didn’t have to lock Jacob out. The housekeeper wouldn’t dream of interrupting Simon during his work. Well, she couldn’t wait for Simon to surface again to settle this issue. She couldn’t work with it preying on her conscience like a hungry cayote.

  She pushed the door open and peeked inside.

  What an amazing room. Looking more like the lab for a large design team than one man’s private sanctuary, it stretched at least ten feet beyond the size of the great room on the floor below.

  Workbenches lined the three walls not covered in glass and two long tables bisected the center of the huge space. Several computer systems in various stages of build filled one entire workbench and impressive looking equipment with lots of buttons and displays resided on the worktable closest to her. The whir of several supercomputers struck her ears and an ozonelike smell permeated the room.

  Her gaze flicked to a nearby corner filled with equipment that looked like it had come straight off the Star Ship Enterprise. She wasn’t very technical, but one of the big black devices looked like a laser to her, its red glow enhancing the room’s space-age feel.

  When she could tear her gaze away from the impressive array of equipment, she found Simon. He was at the other end of the room, sitting behind a U-shape desk made of the same flat-brushed metal material as his bedroom set. The rapid clicking of computer keys attested to his concentration on the laptop in front of him.

  She walked toward him, stopping a couple of feet from the desk. “Simon.”

  He kept typing.

  “Simon!”

  His head jerked up, his eyes widening in shock at the sight of her.

  It was a good thing she wasn’t a corporate spy. She could have taken pictures of everything in the room before he noticed her. “I did knock.”

  He flicked a rather vague glance to the door. “I heard.”

  “So, why didn’t you answer?” she asked with some exasperation. She’d stood out there knocking for something like five minutes.

  He frowned, his gray gaze sliding back to the computer screen. “I’m right in the middle of something.”

  And she was an interruption he did not want. He didn’t have to say it. Who else would have come knocking at his door? Knowing it had to be her, he’d opted not to answer.

  Well, that was definitely telling her.

  Why had she thought she needed to clarify this whole sex-business thing with him anyway? It was obvious Simon wasn’t going to be swayed from his course of action by a few hours in bed with her. He couldn’t even be bothered to answer the door when he was busy.

  “I’m sorry I interrupted.” She backed toward the door. “I’ll leave. No more knocking, I promise.”

  She had her own work to do and would be better off concentrating on it than obsessing over something so unlikely as her being in the role of corporate Mata Hari with Simon as her victim. It was all Daniel’s fault for making the revolting suggestion in the first place. Her boss had a lot to answer for.

  She spun around and hurried from the room, closing the door softly behind her.

  She slid into her chair and logged in to her remote access for work again. She needed to apprise Daniel of the situation with Simon, to tell her boss that Simon had listened to the entire proposal, but still hadn’t changed his mind. She wanted to put it off because Daniel would respond in one of two ways. Neither of them did she look forward to.

  One, he would give her another talk about doing whatever it took to gain Simon’s cooperation and she just might scream at him this time. Two, he could as easily decide it was time to cut their losses and order her to return to Southern California.

  She didn’t want to leave. With the merger pretty much scuttled, she could take some vacation time and spend it with Simon without business to cloud things between them. That was supposing he would want her to stay, which was not a given.

  If he didn’t, she might just need the vacation time to pull herself together.
r />   Now that she’d thought about it, she almost hoped Daniel did say she should forget the merger negotiations for now. With an irrational sense of anticipation, she flipped open her mobile phone and dialed her office. The phone on the other end had rung twice when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

  She didn’t have to look up to know it was Simon. Her body had developed a sixth sense for his presence.

  She clicked the phone off before the receptionist had a chance to answer and forced herself to turn around and meet Simon’s gaze. He didn’t look angry.

  She swallowed and smiled tentatively. “I’m sorry I barged in like that.”

  “What did you need?”

  Now that she’d thought about it, the idea of telling Simon she wasn’t trying to use sex as a manipulative tool seemed really silly. “Nothing important.”

  “You came into my lab.”

  She nodded. “I know. I’m sorry,” she said again.

  “I didn’t mind you coming in.”

  She warmed slightly at that blunt declaration.

  “But you were in the middle of something,” she said, repeating his own words almost verbatim.

  He grimaced. “I should have answered the door.”

  “Why?” She shrugged. “You don’t answer the door for Jacob, do you?”

  “You’re not Jacob.”

  “No, I’m not.” Not an old man, for sure. Not a housekeeper. Not exactly a lover . . . not exactly a business associate. What was she to Simon?

  “I’m really glad about that.” His grin was so sensual, it was a good thing she was already sitting down or her legs would have collapsed under her.

  “Are you coming out for dinner tonight?” she asked, hoping he’d think that was what she’d gone haring in there to ask him.

  “Actually, I was hoping we could have lunch together down on the dock and then maybe have a Tae Kwon Do session afterward.”