If she ever did feel she was ready to take that risk, it would be with someone who had a desk job.
Not a military man. Not a lawman.
“You know, from what I’ve heard about Gordon, he would want you to be happy.”
Suzie tugged the ribbon a little harder than needed at the top of the ball she was working on. “I’m doing all right.”
“Sure you are. You’re doing great. But Gordon sounds like a guy who would want you to move on, to find someone else to be a part of your life, yours and Abe’s.”
“You’re right, that’s what he would have wanted. But this is about what I want now.” Suzie studied the finished ball, lost in memories for a moment. “I met Gordon right after my mother died. He was stationed in San Antonio working in the recruitment office. I fell for him instantly. And you’re right, he was a giving guy. We only dated two months before we got married.”
“Really, that sounds like Lucy and Rowdy.”
Suzie smiled at that. “Some people think that’s crazy. But it isn’t.”
She’d never been instantly attracted to anyone the way she’d been attracted to Gordon. Never.
That’s a lie, and you know it. The words whispered through her mind and caused her heart to ache. You felt similar attraction that first day when Tucker wrapped his arm around your shoulders and you looked into his eyes.
She pushed the thoughts from her head. Things were so tangled. This is the man you hold responsible for Gordon’s death.
Didn’t she? He’d been so good to them. He held himself responsible. But even if she no longer held Tucker responsible for Gordon’s death, he would never be someone she could consider marrying. Those emotions were still too tangled up. Besides, he might be a sheriff in a small town, but he still put his life on the line every day. Death was still a possibility every time he strapped on his gun and pinned on his badge.
Why was she even entertaining these thoughts about Tucker?
They were on a tenuous tightrope toward friendship, and for the sake of their common goal—Abe’s health and happiness—friendship made sense.
Anything else did not.
That she felt irresistibly drawn to him in moments when her guard was down didn’t matter. That was understandable.
Admitting that those emotions were there eased the tight knot of tension in her chest just a little. It was...explainable.
She’d been young and vulnerable when she’d met and fallen for Gordon. She was not so young anymore, but she was vulnerable again. Gordon had helped her during the loss of her mother. Tucker was helping her with Abe, with coping with the aftermath of Gordon’s death. Completely explainable.
She had no one else to turn to and Tucker, along with his family, was filling that void.
Yes, having her shop open and finishing her education would help fix that. Knowledge equaled strength and stability for her.
Exactly what she needed.
Chapter Nine
Tucker was running late as he turned his SUV onto the blacktop road and headed toward the ranch. Everyone would understand, though; his job had a timetable all its own. This time he’d been called out to aid in a domestic violence case in a neighboring small town. No matter how many times he did it, he would never get used to responding to a case and finding a female with a bruised and bloody face. But there had been a twist to the scenario: the male, after having beaten his wife, had been the one to call 911 when she’d retaliated with a baseball bat.
Tucker had arrived on the scene first to find the man had actually climbed a tree to get away from his fed up, abused wife.
Tucker took one look at her face and the man had been ordered from the tree, handcuffed and escorted to jail. Tucker hoped she would press charges. But he had learned that most times people didn’t. Still, today, he had hope. Thinking about the lowlife cowering in the tree had him chuckling as he drove toward the ranch.
It had taken a long time after losing Gordon for Tucker to smile again. He’d been different when he’d finally come home after spending time in the hospital. Making the stop to see Suzie and offer his condolences, and his aid and support, hadn’t helped him. She’d been so angry—so grief-stricken and full of blame toward him that it had cut him to the bone. Helping Gordon’s family had been his only means of redemption and when Suzie refused him, it crushed that option.
He’d been in a very dark hole.
It had taken his family a long time to talk him into running for sheriff. But in the end, God had led him to accept the post. Most days, small-town sheriff duties were about as redneck as could be, what with chasing chickens and herding escaped donkeys. But then, times like today, when he got to see the human spirit fight back against wrong, and he got the opportunity to be a part of that—he knew he was making a difference. And that was his redemption.
Now that Abe and Suzie were here, he’d come full circle. God was giving him the opportunity to make a difference in the life of Gordon’s family.
If he just didn’t mess it up.
And that meant he had to stop thinking about Suzie standing in the sunlight, cotton in her hair, and eyes as sparkling and changing as the ocean.
Eyes he continually found himself getting lost in.
No, he needed to focus on the life he’d been dealt, the good he was able to do and the wrongs his job enabled him to right.
With Suzie, he had been careful. And he would be, not because of his own feelings, but because his getting in too deep would harm the friendship and trust that he needed to build with Suzie.
Anything more, any romantic notions that continually knocked the wind out of him when he looked into her eyes, were absolutely off-limits.
Rolling to a halt in front of the horse barn, he rammed the shifter into Park with more power than needed, just to ram home the thoughts in his head.
He was here to see Wes and Joseph. They were arriving home from college today to attend Rowdy and Lucy’s wedding in two days. Tucker had to be at the ranch to welcome them home.
“Hey, Dad. Pepper,” he said, walking over to the stable, where his dad stood with Walter Pepper, their horse foreman. “Have you heard from them? Are they running on time?”
Nana had had someone string a welcome-home banner across the front of the chow hall and folks were arriving for the welcome party they were throwing Wes and Joseph.
Pepper’s sky-blue eyes crinkled at the edges, standing out against his pure white hair. “I’d say those two might not make it till tomorrow, but then they haven’t had Nana’s cooking in three months, so I’m sure they have the pedal to the metal and will be here by two o’clock, just like they said.”
Randolph hiked a black brow, reminding Tucker of George Strait with his black hair, lean face and easygoing smile. “I agree with Pepper. Haven’t heard from them, but I’m sure they’ll be here on time. If not, their nana will probably jump in her truck and go looking for them. Or expect you to turn on the missing-persons alert sirens.”
“True.” Tucker looked at his watch. “Well, they have ten minutes.” Suzie was standing beside Nana. She wore a soft turquoise blouse with her jeans and was as fresh as a flower. He couldn’t look away—and just like that, she caught him staring. The small, tight smile she sent him was enough to cause his pulse to break the speed limit. He smiled in reaction then forced himself to turn back to the conversation.
“There they come!” A shout went up from the boys in the arena as a black truck sped over the hill, dust flying out behind it. Sixteen boys scrambled from every corner of the yard, arena and horse barn. They came running with whoops and yells and laughter.
His dad crossed his arms and smiled in satisfaction. “Tucker, your mother would be proud. That right there...” He nodded toward the gathering of excited boys as Wes and Joseph came to a halt. Wes had his cowboy hat hanging out the win
dow and was waving and yelling, while Joseph drove and waved and grinned. “That right there is family. Just like Lydia wanted it to be.”
Tucker’s throat tightened. His mother had had a dream. And it had come true over and over again across the years at Sunrise Ranch. And it gave him purpose and meaning, knowing that he’d had a part in it and would continue to have a part in it as long as he was breathing.
Looking across the way at Abe, and then at Suzie, he knew they were witnessing how it had been for Gordon. And he hoped Abe’s heart was more and more at peace being here.
* * *
Suzie watched, amazed at the excitement of the boys as their friends jumped from the truck. One was a stout, happy-faced young man with blond curls and eyes full of mischief. The other was tall and lanky with a long, thin face and the kindest brown eyes she’d ever seen.
The happy-faced one grinned, opened his arms wide and yelled, “Hey, hey, little brothers. What’s up?”
The younger boys literally tackled him, yelling, “Wes, Wes!”
The pure tenderness of the show of affection between them was beautiful.
“Glad y’all are home, Joseph,” Tony said, hugging the kind-eyed young man.
He laughed. “It’s good to be here. Wes always steals the show, though,” he teased.
“Hey, we can jump on you, too, but we’re a little big for that,” Jake offered, and hugged him followed by Caleb. Joseph didn’t have to wait long before the younger ones finished mugging Wes and came after him with just as much excitement. They’d been gone and now they were home.
It hit her in that moment that these weren’t friends. These truly were brothers in all the best senses of the word. There was a camaraderie they shared that was touching. And she marveled more at what the McDermotts had accomplished.
Gordon had told her that they’d changed his life. The day the social worker pulled his file and decided that he, a teenager who’d been abandoned by his parents as a toddler then bounced from one foster home to the next, was a perfect fit for the new boys ranch that had just opened up. He’d told her that, but until this moment it hadn’t hit her how deeply he’d meant what he’d said.
“Okay, okay,” Nana called, moving into the fray. “Now it’s my turn. Come give your nana some lovin’ hugs, boys.”
Instantly Wes broke free and grabbed Nana in a bear hug. Then Joseph did the same. Nana laughed and teared up—so did Suzie as she watched.
After Nana had her hugs, the McDermott men moved in and there was a bunch of manly handshaking and more bear hugs. It was clear that Tucker and his dad and brothers had true love and affection for Wes and Joseph.
“Hubba-hubba,” Wes said, when Jolie stepped up and gave him a hug. Looking over Jolie’s shoulder, he winked at Morgan. “I’m still in love.”
Jolie chuckled, grabbed his beat-up hat off his head and scrubbed his curls. “It’s good to have you home, funny man. Joseph, give me a hug.” Reaching over, she engulfed him. “It’s good to have you both home.”
Then it was Lucy’s turn, and it was the same warm welcome.
Abe stood to the side and took it all in.
“Hey, dude,” Wes said, moving his way. “You’re new. What’s your name?”
“Abe.”
Wes’s brows lifted and his eyes twinkled like Christmas lights. “Well, Abe, my man, you’re going to have to hang with me and Joseph some before we head back to school. Got to get to know our new brother.”
Abe shrugged. “Sure.”
Wes reaching out to Abe had Suzie’s eyes misting up again, even though Abe wasn’t as receptive as she’d hoped he would be. These boys had learned to be inclusive living here on the ranch. It came naturally to them. Suzie stepped out of the way toward the chow hall, not wanting to mar the moment with tears. This was how Gordon had grown up. She could only imagine the welcome he would have had if he’d have come home from war.
“Are you all right?” Tucker asked, coming up behind her. She hadn’t even realized he was near.
She hadn’t seen him since she’d checked fences with him and the boys almost a week ago. It seemed longer than that. “I’m fine. Just overwhelmed by the reunion. Gordon truly did have a home here, didn’t he?”
“Yes. And Gordon was, in many ways, like Wes there. He was a warm kid with a willingness to take care of others, and he did it by teasing the dickens out of them most of the time. Little kids loved Gordon.”
“That sounds like him. I’m sure he was like that with the guys in his unit, too.”
Tucker held her eyes, steady and sure. “Yes, he was. He led by example.”
Led by example.
The phrase drove deep into her heart. That was what heroes did, and he’d led by example right to his death. She pushed the thoughts away. Gordon was a hero in every sense of the word. It was just hard to accept that it had cost them all so much.
“I guess Rowdy is as excited about the wedding as Lucy is.”
“He was ready the day he asked her five months ago.”
“It will be a lovely wedding.”
Tucker smiled. She knew he knew that she was diverting the conversation away from Gordon.
“I’m excited for them,” he said. “It’s been great watching how the Lord has worked in both Morgan’s and Rowdy’s lives. I’ve always wanted the best for my brothers and they’re getting that in Jolie and Lucy.”
That suddenly had Suzie wondering about him. “Have you ever been in love, Tucker?” Why was she asking him this? Because you need to know.
Was that sadness or anger she saw flash in the depths of his deep, deep blue eyes?
“Not me,” he said. “I’ve never been marriage material. Hey, I need to get back. Do you want to walk over and let me introduce you while I give ’em a hug before I head back to work?”
“Sure,” she said, following him as he’d started walking without waiting for her answer. Wes and Joseph hugged him, grinning so wide their faces had to hurt. They were well loved.
“This is Suzie, Abe’s mother. Abe’s dad, Gordon, was part of our family here, too, when he was younger.” Tucker introduced her as soon as the hugging stopped. Then she was swept into conversation with the young men, and Nana joined in on the conversation, too. Tucker took his leave and headed to his truck.
Suzie’s gaze followed him as he climbed into his SUV, which stirred up dust as he left. She wondered if it would be another week before she saw him again, and then remembered absently that he would be at the wedding in two days.
Funny, how that suddenly seemed a long time away.
It wasn’t until a few minutes later, when she was helping serve the feast that Nana had made, that Suzie realized Abe hadn’t come to load up a plate of food like the other teens. Looking around, she spotted him riding a horse alone at the far end of the large arena.
She watched him for a few minutes. Please, Lord, she found herself praying... Please.
She didn’t even put words to the pleading prayer. God knew what she was asking. God knew what Abe needed.
As if God knew what she needed, Nana came up beside her and watched Abe ride, too. “He’ll come around, you know. I’ve seen boys work out their grief, their abandonment, any number of issues of the heart and soul.”
Suzie sighed. “It would be wonderful if he was just a regular kid out there riding for the love of riding.”
“One day he will be. You just keep thinking about that. Every day is one day closer to that day.”
* * *
Suzie had hired Camy, a high school student, to work a few hours in the afternoons, and today was her first day. It had worked out well, giving Suzie the time to help with the welcome-home party for Wes and Joseph. It was after five, and Suzie was feeling restless as she headed back to town to make sure Camy had locked up good. She also wanted to begin
Lucy’s wedding bouquet while it was quiet and no one was popping in and out. She’d been touched when Lucy had decided to forgo simple silk arrangements and hired Suzie to do the wedding party flowers.
When Suzie told Abe she was going to be in town for the evening, he’d surprised her by wanting to go, too.
Any hope she’d had that he might be a happy companion was immediately dashed when he got into the car, slammed the door and sulked in the passenger seat.
Anger flashed through Suzie, her patience wearing thin. “Abe, what is wrong with you? It was a nice afternoon. Didn’t you like Wes and Joseph?”
“Yeah, sure, Mom. It was one big happy family out there. It always is. Only I don’t want that family. I want my dad.”
“Of course you do.”
He was at an age when he really needed his dad.
“I want to go home. Back to San Antonio.”
“Our home is here now, Abe. All you did there was get into trouble. It’s better here. You’ll fit in better every day.”
Even though she was watching the road intently, her hands gripping the steering wheel as if it were her last great hope, she could feel his angry glare.
“They’re too happy, Mom!”
“Too happy?” She shot him a glance, disbelieving that he was serious. He was, though, his dark expression made that clear.
“It’s like they all just got to the ranch and suddenly everything was wonderful.”
She pulled into her parking space in front of the shop. “I don’t understand, Abe. I don’t.”
His voice had been rising with each declaration. “Their lives were crummy before they got here. Lousy. Their dads were deadbeats, drunks and losers. Their home lives were the pits. Jake’s was so bad he was on the street! And he was trying to tell me everything was going to be A-okay. I told him he was only saying that because he didn’t know any better. I knew better. My dad was great, Mom. You were great.”
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