Edges of Gone (The Gone Series Book 2)

by Jessica Gouin

  “You’re a wise woman, Sloane. I wanted to come here and thank you in person.”

  Slightly stunned, I rise from the crate and cross my arms. “You’re welcome.” I’m waiting for the catch. There’s no way she drove all this way just to thank me in person.

  “That’s all.” She stands from the chair and starts toward the door, only to turn back to me once her hand grasps the knob. “I would like to ask one favor, though.”

  Here it comes. The payoff. The same crap she pulled off on Sawyer. Well, I have news for this lady, I’m not some scared and pregnant teenager with no direction or hope. I will toss her out of my shop before she has time to raise her perfectly shaped eyebrow.

  “And what would that be, Claire?”

  “If it’s not too much trouble, I would like the opportunity to visit more often. It’s my hope we could all visit. Perhaps I could meet your parents.”

  “Why?”

  “Because dear, you said so yourself, we all need family.”

  I’m in the middle of preparing the soup when headlights shine through the living room windows. Owen must be back from the grocery store already. I sent him out for a few ingredients we’d run out of. I jog to the foyer, sliding on the wooden floorboards in my socks, and swing open the door to greet my husband. My heart nearly stops when I come face to face with Nash Hudson.

  “Nash?”

  “Hi. Are you alone?”

  “Yeah, but Owen will be back from the store any minute. You should really leave before he sees you. I can’t do this thing with you anymore. We’re getting close to dangerous territory.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean I can’t see you anymore. Or even talk to you. The case is over now, and it’s getting too confusing to be around you. I can’t put myself in this type of situation when I’m trying to salvage my marriage.”

  He steps closer, and my stomach trembles. The breeze carries his scent to me, and it’s so comforting I ache inside. “What type of situation do I put you in?”

  “You know exactly what you do to me. You know what happens when we’re around one another.”

  “So you can feel it? Because I was seriously starting to think I was alone in this. You feel what we could have together. What we could be.”

  “Right there lays the reason why we can’t be around one another. I have a husband. I’m a happily married woman. I can’t think of what we could be because it’s not even an option.”

  “I can make you happier. I can be the man he can’t be. I’d give up everything for you. Always put your first.”

  The temptation is strong. A different life without the pain from my past lurking behind every corner. A world where I know exactly what I’m waking up to each day and what I’m coming home to each night. I’d feel protected and loved. Looking into Nash’s eyes, I see everything he could give me. Everything he wants to have with me.

  But it would also be a world without Owen.

  “Nash, if it was just you and me, there’s no doubt in my mind we’d be happy together.”

  He takes my hands, gripping them tightly in his, eyes shining so brightly I’m almost blinded. “I sound crazy, I know I do. We’ve only known each other for such a short period of time, but none of that matters when I look at you. Everything else fades away from view, Sloane. I only see you. Let me take you away from this.”

  “This is where I belong. It’s not just you and me in this reality. And I love my husband. He’ll always be the one I choose, I’m sorry.”

  “He’s going to keep hurting you. Why can’t you see that? Sloane, I will never, ever hurt you. I need you in my life.”

  “No. You need someone in your life, Nash. Someone to save and to protect. You couldn’t save that little girl…and I’m sorry for that, but I’m not her, and I don’t need you to save me from my life.” I pull my hands from his and watch the love, the happiness, and the hope fade into sadness.

  He clears his throat, staring at the ground. When his focus shifts back to me, he inhales and a forced smile touches his lips. “I wasn’t trying to make up for not saving that little girl by saving you. I just wanted to love you, Sloane. And I knew if you allowed me, I could so easily fall in love with you. We would have it all together. If you can look me in the eye and tell me you want to work things out with your husband, then I’ll respect that. I’ll leave and you won’t see me anymore. Unless you call the cops and I show up. I can’t help that.” The corner of his mouth curves into a grin. He’s charming enough for me to hesitate. Unfortunately for him, it’s not enough for me to leave everything I’ve worked for. Everything I still want and need.

  “I’m so sorry, Nash. In a different world, under different circumstances, maybe we’d have a shot. In this world, I choose Owen.” My voice is no more than a whisper because, even though there’s not a doubt in my mind I’m making the right choice, I’m still hurting a good man. I never intended to hurt anyone or to lead Nash on. I don’t even know how we got to the point where he’s standing on my doorstep, telling me he could love me.

  His eyes widen a bit, shoulders drop some, and he lets out a huff. “Not the answer I was hoping to hear.”

  “I wish it could have ended differently. You deserve a happy ending. You’re a good person. I can see that. It’s just…this was always the way it was supposed to be for me.”

  “No, I understand. Please don’t be sorry. You didn’t do anything wrong, Sloane.” He shoves his hands in the front pockets of his jeans. “He’s a lucky man, your husband. If you ever have a change of heart…”

  “I’ll call the police.”

  With one more grin, he leans forward and presses his cool lips to my forehead, letting them linger for a moment on my skin.

  It’s the touch of his lips that sends bells and whistles going off inside my entire body. It doesn’t feel like it could turn into something so right. It’s wrong and unwanted. His mouth isn’t the one I want on me.

  Screeching tires behind Nash has him pulling back on high alert. I crank my neck to glance past Nash and see Owen’s truck peeling down the road in the opposite direction of our house.

  No, no, no. No!

  I can’t believe what just happened. Owen’s mind must be running wild with thoughts of what’s going on here. I can only imagine what we must have looked like from his view. I have to go after him. I have to bring my husband back home with me. If only I knew how the hell I’m going to accomplish that.

  “Nash, I have to go.”

  TWENTY-TWO

  Owen

  I fishtail around the corner, careening down the street from my house with no direction in mind. I need to get the fuck out of here. There I go again, thinking everything worked itself out. I was out of the house for twenty minutes. Apparently, that’s all it takes for someone to put their paws on your wife. Nash wasn’t playing around when he told me someone would be the man Sloane needed. I’m that man, though. I want to be that man so badly for her. He’s not good for her like I am.

  My knee-jerk reaction was to park my truck, get out, and kick his ass right there on my front lawn. Going to jail for beating up a cop doesn’t sound like the ideal plan though, so I just keep driving.

  I pass the turn off to head to Lachlan’s house. The need to talk about this has my skin crawling—a side effect of counseling I’m sure—but Noah is home, and I don’t want him hearing any of my problems.

  Adam would usually be at his brother’s bar around this time, but since the birth of his baby he hasn’t spent much time away from his house aside from going to work. That just leaves one person who was, is, and will always be there for me.

  Making only one stop, I veer into the cemetery, park, and tread the usual pathway to my sister.

  Sitting on the cool grass, I tip the bottle in my hand toward the sky. “I’ll do the honors, sis.”

  Cracking the lid, I unscrew the cap and take a long pull, cringing at the taste of whiskey burning my throat.

  I told myself I wouldn’t drink
anymore. As long as I had Sloane I didn’t need to waste my life being plastered. She filled the void in me that the booze used to.

  “I don’t know if I can do this anymore, Sawyer. I can’t keep closing scars just to cut them open again. I keep bleeding, and it’s slowly killing me. Life, since you’ve been gone, is so fucking hard. I know what you’d say if you were here…every marriage has its obstacles, Owen…and you’d be right, one hundred percent. But this many hurdles? I can’t keep jumping them when the second I land, there’s another one waiting. I keep taking hits, and, this time, I think I’m down for the count. Just seeing his face so fucking close to hers is enough to send me over the edge. She’s everything, and I can’t live without her. She claimed me from the start.”

  Half a bottle and a whole lot of one-sided conversations later, I stand from the dampened grass, a bit unsteady, to contemplate my next move.

  “Remember when it was just me and you? Owen and Sawyer against the world. We were good at that, weren’t we? I miss those days. I wish it could just be us again.”

  Heading back to my truck, I toss the half-empty bottle of whiskey into a trash can as I pass. I don’t need it anymore.

  TWENTY-THREE

  Sloane

  The sound of tires screaming echoes around me as I follow Owen. He drives from a random store to the cemetery where he spends way too much time. I’m parked out of his view, and my elbows prop on the steering wheel. My beliefs have altered so much, but I still pray to anyone that will listen that this ends well.

  “Please, Owen,” I whisper, desperate he’ll sense my words. “I can’t do this anymore. Just come home to me. I don’t know what to do.”

  My phone buzzes from the center console, and I nearly jump out of my skin. I swipe the screen to answer the call. “Lachlan?”

  “Sloane, what’s wrong? Are you crying?”

  A sob rips through me. “Lachlan, what the hell am I supposed to do? I can’t keep doing this with him. Nash came over to the house. I didn’t invite him, I swear. I don’t want him. I told him to stay away and that I love my husband. Owen didn’t see that though, and he’ll never understand. It’s all going to go back to how it was in the beginning of this nightmare.”

  “Sloane, take a deep breath. Tell me what happened. Are you at home right now?”

  I sniffle, dabbing my tears to clear my vision. “No, I followed him. Why do I keep doing this to myself? Why are we all living this way? It doesn’t have to be like this…it shouldn’t be like this.”

  “Sloane, what are you saying?”

  “This has to end. I’m so exhausted.”

  Owen takes several steps back from the grave then turns and walks back toward his truck. I don’t know how much of that goddamn bottle he’s drunk.

  “Lachlan, I have to go. I’ll call you later. Give Noah a kiss from me.”

  Lachlan begins to say something, but I end the call before he can finish.

  I tail Owen again, and, to my surprise, he drives perfectly all the way home. How many nights has he driven drunk in the past few months?

  When he’s ambled into the house, I park my car behind his truck, blocking him in on purpose, and brace myself to enter my home.

  The chilly air welcomes me as I step inside. Tossing my keys and bag on the tiny table near the door, I’m about to call out for my husband when he appears in the doorway in front of me.

  “You left.” The irate emotion dripping from his voice fractures my heart. I hurt him tonight. Albeit, unintentionally, but the misery haunts his eyes regardless.

  “I’m tired of living in the past, O. I’m done with competing with a ghost because I’ll never win. I can’t pretend it’s all going to be okay anymore. This is it for me, though. This is where I leave it all behind and just be Sloane. And I want to be me…with you. If you still want me, that is. ’Cause I’ll tell you right now, I want you so fucking badly. All of you. I can’t fight it, and I’m not going to try anymore. I have no fight left in me, so either you take me now and we never look back on the past or we’re done before our future begins.”

  He crosses the room in a few steps, taking the back of my neck in his grasp, claiming my mouth on his. Butterflies break free inside my stomach, stirring desire I’ve never felt before. I grab fistfuls of the sleeves of his shirt, clutching him to me. When his tongue traces my lips, asking permission, I don’t hesitate. He owns that, too. He has all of me now and forever.

  He always had me.

  Kisses are scattered along my cheek and down my neck to my collarbone. “Are you really here?” he breathes against my skin.

  “I’m here.”

  “No more past, I agree. We can’t do that.”

  “I can’t live there anymore. It’s only the future now. No more yesterdays.”

  Pulling back, he cradles my face in his strong hands, searching my eyes. “What about him? What about what I saw?”

  “There’s no him. I promise. I belong to you. That’s exactly what I told him before he said good-bye.”

  Brushing hair from my face, he leans in for another kiss, yet this one is softer than the ones he just gave me. “Okay, I trust you. To our new future.”

  “I love you, Owen. I always have and I always will.”

  A smile larger than any I’ve seen in a long time stretches from one side to the other. I run my fingers gently along the scars on his bicep, up his neck, and to his strong jawline, landing on his lips.

  He kisses my thumb then nuzzles his cheek in my hand. “I’m so sorry for everything, Sloane. I promise, from this day on, we’ll only live in the future. I believe you entirely, and if you say I have nothing to worry about, then I won’t worry. You’re the only one that can save me.”

  “You’ve saved me, too. Now take me upstairs to our bed.”

  Owen lifts me easily, and I wrap my legs around his torso. He carries me the entire way as I place kisses along his neck and whisper all of the things I want him to do to me in his ear. By the time we reach our room and he lowers me to the bed, I’m practically dripping with anticipation.

  “These sheets feel better with you in them.” I hated the nights I spent alone. This bed was meant to be shared by me and my husband and there was no way I was letting anything come between us again.

  The growl that comes from Owen’s throat has me ripping at his clothes. He chuckles as he helps me remove his shirt. Sitting back on his heels, he smiles, watching me watch him unhurriedly undo his belt, pulling it through the loops. As if he could go any slower, he fingers the button then pulls down the zipper. His stare never leaves mine.

  Two can play this game.

  Owen stands to remove the rest of his clothes, and when done, I lay him on the bed, moving to straddle him right above the part that aches with the need for what I’m about to do. Gripping the bottom hem of my shirt, I lift it over my head in one motion, discarding it to the floor. Owen grins and pulls in his bottom lip while I reach up to my messy bun and pull the tie to let my hair fall free around my body.

  Leaning forward, I allow my hair to make a curtain around our faces as I kiss him with more passion than we’ve ever felt. I’m torn between wanting all of him right now and taking my time to savor this new us.

  I’m feeling playful though, so I leisurely work my mouth down his body. His breathing becomes labored, hips moving feverishly. I take my time and tease him, sucking and licking around him before taking him into my mouth.

  He growls, and his hands mildly pull my hair as I work him. He thrusts his hips harder until I’m sure he’s close to the edge then he pushes me off him, picks me up, and spins us around. He hovers over me, kissing my lips intensely with little regard to where my mouth just was. Effortlessly, he discovers the one spot behind my ear that makes me see stars.

  “I love you,” he breathes just before he pushes himself inside.

  My back arches automatically to take all of him.

  “I love you more.”

  “Not possible.”

  We spend the
rest of the night making up for months of lost time, and I, for one, couldn’t be more excited for our future together. Free from the past.

  TWENTY-FOUR

  Owen

  Now that I’ve been woken from the darkness of the last few months, I see everything in a new light. The birds chirping outside of our bedroom window. Sloane’s flaming-red hair sprawled across her pillow. The way she sounds when she’s dreaming, and I’m praying like hell I’m the one she’s dreaming about.

  Keeping my gaze on her, I lift the blanket on my side and slip out of bed carefully so I don’t disturb her.

  In the bathroom, I stare at my reflection for a few minutes, unable to recognize myself any longer. Not because I’m not the man I was once and can no longer be, but because I’m a better man today than I was yesterday. I’ve come to realize that in order to go forward into the future with my wife and family, I need to forgive myself for the past and live day to day. I intend to do that now. No more looking back with wonders of what if. I can’t continue to dwell on things I cannot change. Instead, I need to focus on what I can change and what I have control over before I lose what’s left of my life.

  After washing up, I head downstairs to the kitchen with the brilliant idea of making breakfast in bed for Sloane. I can’t remember the last time I made a meal for her. Instead of feeling guilt for being a shitty husband lately, I’m going to move forward and make her the best breakfast she’s ever had. I’m already proud of the progress I’m making.

  The coffee’s percolating, the bacon’s crisp, and the eggs are cooked to perfection. I look around for a tray, knowing I’ve seen one here before. But then there’s a beeping sound.

  Sloane’s phone lays on the table near the front door. It beeps again, signaling another incoming text message. The overwhelming urge to see who could possibly want her this early on a Saturday morning makes me itch. Just past the table, the foyer closet stands open, and I notice the tray I was looking for on the top shelf. Crossing the room, I stop in front of her phone. The screen has gone black now. My focus settles on the home button. I glance upstairs then back to the phone. Swallowing, I then take a step around the table, opening the door farther to retrieve the tray. Ignoring the phone, I return to the kitchen to bring my wife food before she wakes.