by Trish Loye
For a moment, she considered backing down. Was comforting an old man worth their lives? Jin-sun lay with his face to the sky, his hands over his stomach. She pressed her lips together. It wasn’t worth their lives, but she still had to try. She wouldn’t be able to live with herself if she didn’t.
She nodded at Derrick. “I’ll do everything you say.”
He started down the mountain and she followed, praying she hadn’t doomed them both.
18
Cassie stopped moving forward when Derrick held up his hand, though she could see Jin-sun so close and just wanted to rush to him. They crouched on the edge of the clearing. Derrick made a motion for Cassie to wait and he started a tour of the perimeter. There was a chance the old man would die before Derrick had cleared the area, but Cassie had promised to listen.
She kept watch over Jin-sun while she waited. His bloodstained hands fluttered at his stomach every now and then, as if trying to put pressure on the bleeding and then deciding against it. He stared up at the sky and his movements became slower and fewer.
He was dying in front of her.
It took five long minutes for Derrick to come back. He gave her a nod and she bolted across the field to the old man and fell to her knees beside him.
“Jin-sun, I’m here,” she said in Korean.
His head turned toward her too slowly. A smile cracked his face even as his whispered words warned her away. “You…shouldn’t be here… Probably…a trap.”
She glanced at Derrick, who stood near them, rifle in hand, watching the surrounding forest. Her guardian. “I have protection.”
Jin-sun’s gaze followed hers. Derrick glanced at them at that moment, his dark gaze softening just a touch at whatever he saw.
“Take care…of her,” Jin-sun said in English.
Derrick nodded solemnly. “With my life.” He turned back to scanning their surroundings for threats.
Jin-sun caught her gaze. “He is the one…the one you said wouldn’t come?”
She looked again at the strong, silent man standing guard over them. Her heart beat harder. “Yes,” she whispered.
“I’m glad.” Blood trickled from the side of his mouth. “You need someone strong in your life.”
She blocked a sob in her throat and gripped one of his bloodstained hands. She forced a smile. “Are you trying to set me up? I thought fathers were supposed to want to keep their daughters from men.”
Jin-sun’s eyes closed for a moment, even as his hand tightened on hers. “I am ashamed.”
She knew what he was going to say next. She knew, but she didn’t want the words spoken. “It’s okay. You don’t have to say anything.”
“I have done many bad things in my life, Cassandra,” he said, “but this last one makes me ashamed. I lied to you in order to get information for Choe.” His breath bubbled. “I am not your father.”
The tiniest spark of hope that had stayed lit despite all logic died. She’d known. Logically, she’d known. No one was released from prison and no man could last years in such a place, even a man favored by the guards as Jin-sun had been. He couldn’t have been her father.
“I know.” She tightened her grip on his hand.
His eyes widened. “And yet…you risked your life…coming here…for me?”
“Of course.” She leaned closer and bared a part of her soul. “When I needed you, you were there, guiding and advising…making me laugh…giving me comfort.” Her vision blurred and her throat tightened until the words had to squeeze their way out. “You were my father when I needed one most.”
He smiled a little, even as it seemed to take effort to drag air into his rattling lungs. His hand loosened in hers. “I…wish…” His mouth opened but no words came out.
“I do too,” she said quietly.
His eyes closed. A breath eased out of him and his chest didn’t rise again.
Her head bowed and she held his hand to her chest, not caring about the blood staining her shirt. “Good-bye.” She didn’t even know his real name. Her breath hitched and a sob escaped her. “I don’t care. To me, you’re Jin-sun,” she whispered. “And you will be remembered.”
She pulled her camera out and quickly snapped a photo of his too-still face. Another victim of Hwasong. She shoved the camera away with too much force, and yanked hard at the zipper of her daypack, cursing when it didn’t smoothly close the first time.
Derrick’s hand squeezed her shoulder and she stilled. She didn’t glance up. She couldn’t. If she met his gaze, everything inside her, all her fragile walls holding her together, would shatter. She stayed motionless, with her head bowed.
Just a minute more. She closed her eyes against the sight of Jin-sun. A deep breath. Another. She opened her eyes and made a vow.
She would escape and she would tell Jin-sun’s story.
Derrick scanned the tree line again and then took one hand off his rifle to touch Cassie’s shoulder. He couldn’t not touch her at this moment when she was so close to breaking. She’d survived so much. He’d seen strong men break under lesser conditions than what she’d gone through these past few days.
She didn’t look up, but leaned into his touch. It made him want to throw his rifle down and gather her into his arms. Finally, after a couple of minutes, she looked up at him, blinking away tears that had yet to fall.
“Thank you,” she whispered. “He didn’t deserve to die alone.”
“Anything for you.” He held out his hand. “Come on.”
She let him haul her up.
A gunshot cracked the quiet of the woods. It felt as though liquid metal seared his thigh.
“Run,” he barked.
He sprayed the woods behind him where the shot had come from, giving Cassie a head start to the cover of the trees to the east. Wetness dribbled down his leg and he took off after her, his leg giving him shit with each step. He knew from the feel it wasn’t a bad wound; his leg functioned, but anything that bled was bad at this point.
A bullet ripped bark off a tree ahead of him. He spun and sprayed the woods again. Cassie made the tree line. Just a few more steps for him. She stopped and looked back.
“Keep going!” he shouted.
She took off again and he followed, not letting anything slow or stop him. He’d promised the old man to see Cassie safe and he’d fucking well do it.
Once they’d made their way farther into the woods, Derrick pulled Cassie to a halt. “I’m going back to take that guy out.”
She shook her head. “How do you know there’s only one guy?”
“Because it took him so long to shoot. And if there’d been more, we would have had a lot more trouble. He’s probably already called for backup, but if I can take him out then he won’t be able to relay any more information on us.”
“I’ll wait here.”
“No. You keep moving as quick as you can.” He gave her a quick, hard kiss. “I’ll catch up. Head east.”
He took off before she could argue any more. His leg moved freely though it still complained. He’d look at it when they had time for a break. Right now, he had a man to kill.
No matter what Derrick said, Cassie couldn’t make herself run away from him. She walked and even that was an effort, not because she was physically and emotionally exhausted—which she was—but because each step took her farther from Derrick. His presence made her feel safe and each step away felt wrong and dangerous.
And not just that, a voice whispered inside her.
Another fear crept into her thoughts. Fear for Derrick. Not just as her safe haven, but for him alone. She didn’t want anything to happen to him. For Rose’s sake. Rose needed him to live.
Liar.
Or at least not the whole truth. Cassie needed him to live.
She kept moving east, listening hard, her mind racing with plans of what to do if Derrick didn’t show up. Minutes passed and her steps slowed further.
What should she do if Derrick didn’t come? What if he was injured and needed he
r help?
“Are you tired or just really slow?” Derrick’s amused voice made her yelp and spin to face him. He had an exasperated look on his face.
She didn’t think, just ran and leapt into his arms, squeezing tight. “I was worried.”
His arms came around her, holding her against his strong chest. “It’s okay. I’m okay.”
She lifted her head from his neck. His dark eyes focused solely on her. She shivered and her skin heated. His gaze turned hot and shifted to her lips. She wanted to be closer. It seemed natural to lean in and touch her lips to his, gently. He stayed still, as if afraid of spooking her or spoiling the moment. She molded her lips to his, exploring and nibbling. She let her tongue tease his bottom lip, searching for a response.
He groaned, a primal male sound. His arms tightened further and he took control of the kiss. His one hand slid up to the back of her head to angle it better while his tongue swept into her mouth. She gripped his broad shoulders while desire shot through her, hot and sharp, overwhelming her. She moaned.
Derrick pulled back, his breathing ragged, and leaned his forehead against hers. “You’re fucking killing me, Cassie.”
The words filled her with a sense of feminine power, even as reality crept in.
“This probably isn’t the best time to seduce you,” she said.
He huffed a laugh and gave her a quick kiss that left her lips begging for more. “We will continue this later.”
“When we’re not running for our lives?”
He set her down and brushed her hair back from her face. “When we get back, I’m taking you out to dinner.” He prodded her forward and started to walk.
“You mean like a date?”
“Definitely like a date. You can seduce me then.” His voice was a rough growl.
She didn’t know whether it was his promise or the tone of his voice but either way, a whole swarm of butterflies took off in her belly. “This is a great way of distracting me from our situation.”
“This isn’t me distracting you,” he said. “This is us making plans.”
“Ah…” She glanced over her shoulder. “Are we expecting company soon?”
“No. I took care of it. The guy didn’t even have a radio.”
Tension she hadn’t even known was there released from her shoulders and rippled down her body, leaving her drained and beyond tired. “I want to stay in bed for a week.”
“Maybe I’ll join you.”
And just like that, her body perked up again, aches and fatigue gone. How the hell did this man excite her with just a sentence, when no one else did? He glanced back at her. Maybe to gauge her reaction? Her face heated and she coughed to cover her lack of witty response.
He chuckled and faced forward. “Don’t worry so much, Little Wolf. We’ll take it slow.”
Her eyes widened. “That’s a bit presumptuous, don’t you think?”
“Not after that kiss.”
She couldn’t think of a response to that so she just ignored his laughter.
“You never used to be at a loss for words.”
“I was trying to be quiet so we don’t get caught.”
“Uh-huh.”
She found she liked this teasing side of Derrick. He strode through the forest like the elite warrior he was, but he also had a very human side. She glanced down, drinking him in from his muscled shoulders to his long, strong legs. His camouflage pants seemed stuck to one thigh. She frowned.
“Are you limping?”
“No.” He kept moving forward, his stride evening out even as she watched, but his pant leg was dark and wet and stuck to his skin.
She stopped. “Is that blood on your leg?”
“Probably.” He slowed and looked back at her. “We should keep moving.”
She gasped. “Did you get shot?”
He looked at his leg. “It’s a graze. It can wait.”
“Why didn’t you say something?”
He cocked an eyebrow. “I just did.”
Seriously? She wanted to roll her eyes like Rose. “Sit down and let me look at it.”
“We need to find somewhere safe.”
“If I’d been shot, would you do something about it?” She smiled in triumph when she saw his face. He totally would make her sit and bandage it up. So she continued, “You just said that we’re in the clear for the moment. Take off your backpack and your pants.”
He cocked his head and smiled. “Well, there’s a proposition I can’t refuse.”
“Down, lover-boy.” She pointed to the ground.
He let his pack slip from his shoulders and eased himself to the ground.
She opened his pack and dug through it until she pulled out the med kit she’d seen him use earlier. When she turned back, he had his combat pants pulled down far enough that she could see a narrow bleeding sore across the outside of his thigh. The bullet graze had taken off the top layer of skin and muscle, leaving a raw wound that couldn’t be stitched.
“It looks bad to me.”
“It’s not,” he said. “It hurts like an oven burn, but it’s not interfering with my leg function.”
“This is outside the realm of my experience,” she said. “What should I do?”
“Clean and wrap.” He pointed out the necessary items from the kit and then handed her each item as she needed it. She cleaned his wound, put a numbing salve on it, and unwrapped the large gauze pads he handed her. Then he handed her a gauze roll and lifted his leg slightly so she could wrap the bandage to his thigh.
“Tighter,” he said.
When finished, she tied it off as tight as possible. He didn’t even grunt.
“Do you have anything for the pain?”
He looked at her as if she were crazy.
“What?”
“Do you really think I’d risk medicating myself for this?”
“What about some ibuprofen?”
He stood, pulled up his pants and ignored her question. He bent his leg and put weight on it before nodding approvingly at her. “Thanks.”
“I’d say anytime, but really, I don’t want to have to patch you up for a bullet wound again.”
He laughed. “I’ll make a soldier out of you yet. Come on. We have about fifteen klicks to go before we hit the town.” He looked at the light through the trees. “We should make it by nightfall.”
It was probably about mid-afternoon. A cool breeze ran through the trees, and clouds began to cover the gray sky. Rain would make their lives miserable. She hoped they made it to town before it fell. But at least she had a life to make miserable, she consoled herself.
A groan almost escaped when she started moving, her body aching and tired. Derrick stayed quiet and she realized that earlier he’d been distracting her from her misery with his banter.
He probably hadn’t even meant half the things he’d said.
She pushed that thought away. It was beneath her to worry about that right now. They needed to concentrate on surviving and if distraction had helped her, then maybe it would help him as well.
The problem was that she wasn’t good at sexy banter. Dating, let alone sex, wasn’t something she had time for, between work, Rose, and her mother.
So no sexy banter. But there was an issue she wanted to talk about, and he was literally a captive audience. It was long past time she apologized.
“I have to apologize for something I’m not proud of,” she said. “But I hope you’ll listen and understand the circumstances of why I did what I did.”
“Are we talking about Rose?”
It was time to get it all out. She deserved whatever anger he had. “Yes.” She braced herself.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there to help raise her.”
She blinked and her armor fell away. “You didn’t know. I should have told you nine years ago when we met at that restaurant.”
“Why didn’t you?”
She didn’t answer for a moment, organizing her thoughts as they walked through the forest. The sky ha
d turned darker. “I wasn’t sure I trusted you. You’d left me once and…I couldn’t have you do a disappearing act from Rose’s life.” Which he’d done to her. She fought off the sadness that thought brought up and decided to get everything out in the open.
“Can I ask you something?” she said quietly.
Something in her tone must have alerted him because he looked back at her with a serious face. “Anything.”
“Why didn’t you come back that last time? After the dinner? You went away on a mission, but you never came back.” She asked the question with no heat in her voice. She honestly had no anger about it anymore. It still hurt but she didn’t want it to fester any longer. They both deserved honesty at this point. The truth would help clear the air between them so they could have some form of peace. They both deserved that and more importantly, so did Rose.
Ahead of her, Derrick gave her an assessing glance before continuing his mile-eating stride through the forest. He was silent for so long that a disappointment grew inside her. Would he not answer?
Finally, he gave a small sigh. “Because I was a fucking jealous idiot.”
She almost tripped over a tree root. “Pardon?”
He looked over his shoulder and grimaced. “When the mission ended, I’d pulled up to your house…and saw you with Rose and a man she called daddy…” He shrugged one shoulder and slowed his steps a bit so she could walk closer.
She could picture the scene. “My ex,” she said. “He must have been dropping Rose off. He wasn’t in her life long before he moved away.”
“I didn’t know,” he said. “I was a coward for taking off without finding out the truth. I saw a happy family and I didn’t want to have any part in breaking that up. Family is important. I thought that maybe I’d imagined what was between us at our last meeting. I didn’t want to force myself or my feelings on you. I thought you’d moved on and didn’t know how to tell me.”
“So leaving was your way of protecting what you saw as a happy family?” Again, there was no anger in her voice. If anything, a hurt had crept in. She understood his reasoning, but the years of believing he was dead, the tears she’d cried for him…she couldn’t just wipe those away.