Child of Grace

by Hannon, Irene

  “You’re doing great.” He leaned closer and touched her cheek again. “But if you want an epidural, we have to move fast. You’re already past the usual stage for one. As it is, they might have to use a spinal block.”

  Her brow wrinkled. “What do you think I should do?”

  The temptation to tell her to go for it was strong, just to ease her suffering—but professionally, he had a different opinion.

  “This isn’t my specialty—but there are potential complications with pain medication.” He gave her a quick summary. “In the end, it comes down to how well you think you can hold up.”

  “How much longer could this go on?”

  “The rule of thumb is one centimeter an hour. You have three to go—but you’re progressing much faster than that. Unusual for a first baby, but not unheard of.”

  “How fast?”

  “You’re very close to the transition phase. That’s the most intense part of labor. The contractions will be coming faster and stronger.” He took her hand again, watching the monitor. “Here comes another one. Get ready.”

  Luke talked her through it—and over the next fifteen minutes, the decision about pain medication was taken out of her hands as her contractions started coming every two minutes and lasting more than a minute, giving her little time to recover in between. Her OB arrived, Kelsey was prepped for delivery, and after an intense period of pushing, the baby’s head, topped with damp blond hair, crowned.

  She was panting now, under his direction, her gaze riveted on the mirror positioned so she could see her baby’s arrival. The forehead appeared. The nose. The mouth. The chin. The shoulders emerged, one at a time.

  And then, with one final push, the baby slid into the doctor’s waiting hands.

  “You have a daughter, Kelsey.” As the OB passed on the news, she suctioned the baby’s mouth and nasal passages.

  Kelsey clung to his hand, and as Luke squeezed her fingers he motioned to the nurse. “We need another warm blanket.”

  Seconds later, the woman handed him one and he draped it over Kelsey, who continued to shake.

  “It’s a girl, Luke.” Her voice was filled with awe, her face awash with the wonder of the miracle they’d just witnessed.

  He smoothed back her hair. “I know.”

  “Is she all right?”

  “She’s fine.” The OB spoke from the foot of the bed. “On the small side, but otherwise she appears to be perfect. After we give her a quick exam, you can hold her. Meanwhile, we’ve still got to deliver the placenta. Hang in there for another few minutes.”

  Kelsey’s attention remained riveted on the tiny bundle of life the nurse was weighing and measuring a few feet away. The new arrival was waving her fists and already displaying an impressive set of lungs as she howled in protest about leaving the cozy cocoon that had been her safe, protected haven for almost eight months.

  “Why is she crying?” Kelsey tensed, straining to see the baby. “Is something wrong?”

  “No. She’s just announcing her arrival.” Dr. Evans continued to work. “But we’ll have a neonatal specialist weigh in after you two say hello.”

  “Four pounds eight ounces, seventeen inches.” The nurse picked up the squalling baby and moved next to Kelsey. “Here you go, Mom.”

  Luke eased back a step as the woman bent over Kelsey and positioned the kicking baby on her stomach. After covering the tiny infant with a warm blanket, she tugged a pink cap over the damp, golden ringlets, leaving a few curls peeking out.

  Kelsey reached out a tentative hand and stroked a trembling finger down the infant’s spindly arm, which was more bone than flesh at this stage of development. Big blue eyes, fringed by thick lashes clumped with tears, stared back at her. Then the baby grasped Kelsey’s finger with a tiny fist and held tight. A few moments later, her sobs morphed into snuffles. She stopped quivering and lay on Kelsey’s stomach, quietly watching her mom.

  As Luke looked from the baby to Kelsey, the air whooshed out of his lungs at her serene, at-peace expression.

  She’d made her decision.

  She was going to keep the baby.

  Even if that meant there was no future for them.

  * * *

  She was beautiful. Perfect. Sweetness incarnate.

  And a gift from God.

  As her baby held tight to her finger, all the angst she’d wrestled with during her pregnancy melted away—as did the worry that she’d never be able to love a child who was the product of a brutal crime. But all along God had known that once she saw the daughter who had grown within her, she’d never be able to let her go.

  “Does this little lady have a name, Mom?” Sandra stroked the baby’s cheek.

  “Yes, she does. It’s Grace. Grace Elizabeth.”

  That, too, had come without forethought. Grace wasn’t a product of the baby name book she’d perused. Nor a tribute to a beloved family member. It was a reflection of what this child had meant to her. For out of an act of violence, God had showered her with grace and redeemed her life.

  But the middle name was a tribute. To Gram—and her example of strength and independence, which had given Kelsey the courage to follow a new path after her world was turned upside down.

  The nurse smiled. “That’s lovely—and it suits her.”

  “Would you like me to recommend a pediatrician, Kelsey?” Dr. Evans stripped off her gloves as she rose.

  “Yes. Thank you.”

  The OB moved beside her. “You haven’t asked, but everything went fine with the delivery. No complications, and very few restrictions on activity once you’re released. We’ll want to keep Grace a bit longer, since she’s mildly premature, to make certain she can maintain body temperature, eat, and gain weight. A week, maybe. But her doctor will decide that. Now it’s off to the nursery for you, young lady.”

  She motioned to Sandra, who wheeled a crib enclosed in plastic next to the bed.

  “Are you planning to breastfeed?” The nurse lifted the baby, gently disengaging her from Kelsey’s finger. Grace’s face crumpled, and she let out a howl of protest.

  “Yes, I am.” That, too, was a spur-of-the-moment decision. But it felt right.

  “I’ll have a lactation consultant come in and talk with you.”

  As Sandra wheeled Grace away, Dr. Evans moved back beside the bed.

  “You did great—and so did your coach.” She reached a hand across the bed. “It was a pleasure to meet you, Dr. Turner.”

  Luke!

  Kelsey craned her neck his direction while he shook hands with the OB. How could she have forgotten all about him?

  “Likewise.” Luke returned the woman’s shake.

  “And best of luck with the youth center project. My husband and I have already purchased tickets to the dinner auction. I hope it’s a resounding success.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Ring if you need anything, Kelsey. I’ll be back to see you again later today.”

  With that, the doctor strode toward the door, leaving her with the man whose steady voice had coaxed her through the pain. Whose firm clasp had given her a lifeline to cling to during the rocky ride. Whose gentle touches and encouragement had not only comforted her, but touched her heart and made her feel less alone, if only for a few hours.

  No way could Dorothy have accomplished all that during her intense labor, much as Kelsey loved the older woman.

  She twined her fingers through his. “How can I ever thank you? You were my rock. I couldn’t have done it without you.”

  One side of his mouth hitched up. “Yes, you could. Babies come, no matter what.”

  “Let me rephrase. I couldn’t have done it as gracefully without you. Or…did I do it gracefully? The past few hours are a blur.”

  “You did.” He tugged his fingers free and moved to the bottom of the bed. “I should go home and clean up. Will you be all right by yourself? The call button is here if you need anything.” He wiggled the chord to show where the nurse had pinned it to the b
lanket.

  Kelsey surveyed him. He was in desperate need of a shower, shave, and change of clothes. But the distance he’d put between them was more than physical. His manner was still kind and caring—but now that the crisis was over, there was a touch of reserve in it. As if he’d withdrawn a bit.

  And it wasn’t hard to figure out why.

  Her decision to keep Grace.

  Some of her euphoria faded.

  It had been clear last night that he had serious reservations about such a choice. Yet how could anyone look at Grace’s sweet innocence and not fall in love with her, no matter the circumstances of her conception? Maybe Luke didn’t have the connection to her that she had, but he did have a compassionate and kind heart. He could learn to care for Grace. Her daughter didn’t have to be a deal breaker.

  Did she?

  “Kelsey? Will you be okay?”

  “Yes. Fine. Thank you again for all you did tonight.”

  “Let me know if you need anything.”

  “I will. But I’ve got reinforcements I can muster. I’m going to call my sister as soon as you leave. She said she’d come and stay for a few days if…when the baby was born. And Dorothy will help.”

  “Sounds like you’ve got it covered.”

  Not even close.

  But he was talking about practical issues, not matters of the heart.

  “I’ll be fine, Luke.” The cheerful tone she tried for came out a bit too bright. “You don’t have to worry about me.”

  He hesitated, as if he wanted to say more. But in the end he walked out the door.

  And short of a miracle, there was a very high probability that in sixteen days he was going to walk out of her life as well.

  Perhaps forever.

  * * *

  His phone was ringing.

  At some deep, subconscious level, Luke’s brain registered the sound and identified it. But translating that awareness into action was proving difficult. After coming home, getting cleaned up, and returning to town for the late Sunday morning service, the stress of last night—and the lack of sleep—had slammed him. He’d crashed on the couch, out almost before he hit the cushions.

  Who knew how many hours had passed? Who cared? All he wanted to do was sleep.

  The cell went silent, and he started to drift off.

  Thirty seconds later, it rang again.

  Groaning, he pried his eyelids open and peered at his watch. Four-thirty. He’d been out for three hours.

  Not enough.

  The cell stopped ringing again.

  But not for long.

  Seconds later it started up again, the ring more muted this go-round.

  Someone really wanted to reach him.

  Kelsey?

  He groped around, dug the cell out from between the cushions on the sofa where it had wedged itself, and skimmed the screen.

  Hannah.

  Stifling a yawn, he swung his feet to the floor. “Missing me already?”

  “Very funny. Listen, I have news.” There was an undercurrent of excitement in her voice.

  “What’s up?”

  “You’ll never guess who retweeted one of my Carlos posts last night!”

  As she rattled off the name of a Grammy-award-winning singer, Luke gave a soft whistle. “That’s impressive. What did she say?”

  “That she was touched by the story about the fundraiser and was going to visit the website. And get this—our number of followers has tripled since then! That should mean more contributions. But I have even better news. I sent her a DM, and she got back in touch after she visited the website. She said she was going to be doing a concert in Grand Rapids the day after the dinner, and she was willing to stop in at the auction and sing a couple of songs! I sent her your cell number. She’s going to call you. Isn’t that fabulous?”

  It was more than fabulous. If a name like that aligned with their cause, they’d have no problem selling every seat at the dinner and generating national coverage for the event. All of which should translate into a big boost in their efforts to raise enough dollars to turn Carlos’s dream into a reality.

  “It’s amazing.” Luke leaned back against the couch and transferred his attention to the deep blue sky outside the window, cloudless on this mid-August day. “You know, if you and Kelsey hadn’t jumped on board, the youth center project would still be just a local fundraiser that might or might not get us where we need to be.”

  “I didn’t do much. Setting up the Twitter and Facebook pages was easy. Kelsey’s done the real publicity work. I’ve been calling and texting her to share my news, but she’s not responding.”

  “That’s because she’s been busy having a baby.”

  Dead silence—followed by a barrage of queries.

  “But she’s not due for weeks! How’s she doing? How’s the baby? What did she have? Has she picked a name? When is she—”

  “Whoa! One question at a time. Everyone is fine. The baby’s name is Grace Elizabeth.”

  “Grace Elizabeth. I like it. Wow. This is so cool!”

  Luke could think of other ways to describe it—but he remained silent.

  When he didn’t respond, Hannah spoke again. “Have you seen her?”

  “Yes.”

  “And…?”

  “And what?”

  “Come on, Luke! I want details. Is she ecstatic? Is the baby cute?”

  He called up an image of the luminous joy on Kelsey’s face as she’d held her new daughter. Pictured the big, blue eyes of the baby, fixated on her mother…and the blond ringlets.

  “Yes to both.”

  She huffed. “It’s like pulling teeth to get information from you. I’ll just have to call her directly. Where is she?”

  “Holland Hospital.”

  “Got it. When are you going to see her again?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “It means the situation is complicated.”

  “It doesn’t have to be.”

  For all her maturity, his sister still harbored juvenile romantic fantasies. But real life didn’t come with happy endings all neatly tied up with ribbon.

  “It’s more complex than you think, Hannah.”

  “Why? Did the baby’s father show up?”

  “No—and he won’t.”

  “O-kay. You obviously know more than you’re telling. That’s fine. I’m not going to pry. But if the father’s out of the picture, what’s the big problem?”

  “Geography. And don’t start on the long-distance courtship lecture again. That’s a manageable short-term problem. Think long-term. My new job is in Atlanta. Kelsey’s life and her work are here. She wouldn’t want to leave Michigan.”

  “How do you know? Have you asked her?”

  “No. That would be premature. But I know how much she loves this place. I can’t see her leaving.”

  “You know, before you write her off because of that—if that’s your main excuse—you may want to have a chat with her on the subject.”

  Luke frowned. “What do you know that I don’t?”

  “Ask her yourself. I wouldn’t want to betray any confidences. In the meantime, you should check your messages. I bet you’ll find one from a very well-known singer. And now I’m calling Kelsey to give her the news and get some details on her and the baby. Talk to you later.”

  The line went dead.

  Putting thoughts of Kelsey aside for a moment, Luke followed his sister’s instruction to check his messages. Most were from her. But sure enough, the pop star had also left one—along with her phone number.

  Unbelievable.

  If they could actually work out the logistics, this would be a bonanza. One they should milk from every possible angle. But it would take someone with special expertise to reap the full benefit.

  Someone like Kelsey.

  Luke rose and wandered out to the deck.

  They needed her for this task.

  He needed her.

  And
not just for the youth center project.

  He stopped at the railing, gave the lake a sweep—and admitted the truth.

  Kelsey was the kind of woman any man would want by his side in good times and bad. She’d had more adversity in the past year than most people endured in a lifetime, yet she hadn’t let it destroy her. By deciding to be better, not bitter—as she’d put it—she’d forged a new life for herself. Found the proverbial silver lining. Even last night, scared out of her mind, she’d managed to infuse the situation with a few touches of humor.

  But she came with baggage—all wrapped up in a four-pound-eight-ounce bundle of blue eyes and blond hair. Yes, Grace was cute as a button. But she was also the child of violence and trauma.

  A cloud scuttled across the sun, dimming the bright sunlight for a moment, and a chill rippled through him.

  If only he could get past that stumbling block, as Kelsey had.

  But so far, that hadn’t happened.

  And unless it did, there wasn’t much chance Hannah’s romantic dreams would ever become anything more than a fairy-tale-like fantasy.

  15

  Pausing outside Kelsey’s door, Luke shifted the bouquet of pink roses, baby’s breath, and fern from one hand to the other.

  This was a mistake.

  If he couldn’t deal with Kelsey’s baby, he should keep his distance, not bring her flowers—and lead her on. Yes, he wanted to check on her, confirm everything was fine…but he could have accomplished that with a phone call.

  Maybe he’d just leave the roses at the nurses’ station and ask one of them to—

  “Luke?” At Kelsey’s greeting from behind him in the hall, he swung around.

  Froze.

  Gone was the woman whose face had been contorted with pain while she shivered and shook in his arms less than thirty-six hours ago. Today, Kelsey was radiant, glowing—and gorgeous.

  “Hi. I didn’t expect to see you.” She searched his face, as if hoping to discern a change of heart he couldn’t offer, then indicated the flowers. “And I definitely didn’t expect those.”

  “You, uh, earned them. You were a real trouper Saturday night.”

  “It was worth it.” She reached out and fingered a petal. “The nurse told me you called last night. Sorry I missed you. I was in the nursery, trying to feed Grace.”