A Sportsman's Sketches: Works of Ivan Turgenev 1

by Ivan Turgenev

  RAKITIN [in a low voice, as though to himself]. Poor woman!

  NATALYA PETROVNA [passing her hand over her face]. Come. ... I must pull myself together. I believe you were going to say something. . . . For God’s sake, Rakitin, advise me what to do. ...

  RAKITIN. I’m willing to advise you, Natalya Petrovna, only on one condition.

  NATALYA PETROVNA. Tell me.

  RAKITIN. Promise that you won’t suspect my motives. Tell me that you believe in my disinterested desire to help you; do you help me too. Let your confidence give me strength, or else let me keep silence.

  NATALYA PETROVNA. Speak, speak.

  RAKITIN. You have no doubt of me?

  NATALYA PETROVNA. Speak!

  RAKITIN. Well then, listen, he must go away. [NATALYA PETROVNA looks at him in silence.’] Yes, he must go. I’m not going to speak to you of... your husband, your duty. On my lips, such words are . . . out of place. . . . But those children love each other. You told me so yourself just now, imagine yourself now between them. . . . Why, your position will be awful!

  NATALYA PETROVNA. He must go. ... [A pause.] And you? You remain?

  RAKITIN [confused]. I?... I?... [Apause.] I must go too. For the sake of your peace, your happiness, Verotchka’s happiness, both he ... and I ... we must both go away for ever.

  NATALYA PETROVNA. Rakitin ... I have sunk so low that I ... was almost ready to sacrifice that poor girl, an orphan entrusted to me by my mother, to marry her to a stupid, absurd old man! I couldn’t bring myself to it, Rakitin, the words died away on my lips when she burst out laughing at the suggestion . . . but I have been plotting with the doctor; I have put up with his meaning smiles, I have borne with his grins, his compliments, his hints. . . . Oh, I feel I am on the brink of a precipice; save me!

  RAKITIN. Natalya Petrovna, you see that I am right.. . . [She is silent; he goes on hurriedly.] He ought to go ... we ought both to go. ... There is no other way to save you.

  NATALYA PETROVNA [dejectedly]. But what to live for afterwards?

  RAKITIN Good God, is it as bad as that? . . . Natalya Petrovna, you will get over it, believe me. . . . This will pass. What, nothing to live for!

  NATALYA PETROVNA. Yes, yes, what have I to live for when all abandon me?

  RAKITIN. But . . . your family. . . . [NATALYA PETROVNA looks down.] If you like, after he is gone, I might stay a few days j ust to . . .

  NATALYA PETROVNA [gloomily]. Ah! I understand. You are reckoning on habit, on our old friendship. . . . You hope I shall come to myself, and turn to you again, don’t you? I understand you.

  RAKITIN [flushing]. Natalya Petrovna! Why do you insult me?

  NATALYA PETROVNA [bitterly]. I understand you . . . but you are mistaken.

  RAKITIN. What? After your promise, when simply for your sake, your sake only, for your happiness, for your position in society, in fact. . .

  NATALYA PETROVNA. Oh! how long have you been concerned about that? Why is it you have never spoken of it before?

  RAKITIN [getting up]. Natalya Petrovna, I will leave this place to - day, at once, and you shall never see me again. . . . [Is going.]

  NATALYA PETROVNA [stretching out her hands to him]. Michel, forgive me; I don’t know what I’m saying. . . . You see the state I’m in. Forgive me.

  RAKITIN [turning rapidly to her and taking her by the hands]. Natalya Petrovna . . .

  NATALYA PETROVNA. Oh, Michel, I’m unutterably miserable. . . . [Leans on his shoulder and presses her handkerchief to her eyes.] Help me, I am lost without you. [At that instant the door of the outer room is flung open, and ISLAYEV and ANNA SEMYONOVNA walk in.]

  ISLAYEV [loudly]. I was always of that opinion. [Stops in amazement at the sight of RAKITIN and NATALYA PETROVNA. NATALYA PETROVNA looks round and goes out quickly. RAKITIN remains where he is, overwhelmed with confusion.]

  ISLAYEV [to RAKITIN]. What’s the meaning of this? What’s this scene?

  RAKITIN. Oh . . . nothing . . . it’s . . .

  ISLAYEV. Is Natalya Petrovna unwell?

  RAKITIN. No . . . but. . .

  ISLAYEV. And why has she run away so suddenly? What were you talking about? She seemed to be crying.... You were consoling her... . What’s the matter?

  RAKITIN. Nothing really.

  ANNA SEMYONOVNA. How can there be nothing the matter, Mihail Alexandritch? [After a pause.] I’ll go and see. ... [Is about to go into the study.,]

  RAKITIN [stopping her]. No, you had better leave her in peace, please.

  ISLAYEV. But what does it all mean? Tell us.

  RAKITIN. Nothing, I assure you. ... I promise to explain it to you both to - day. I give you my word. But now, please, if you have any trust in me, don’t ask me . . . and don’t worry Natalya Petrovna.

  ISLAYEV. Very well. . . but it is strange. This sort of thing has never happened with Natasha before. It’s something quite out of the way.

  ANNA SEMYONOVNA. What I want to know is what could make Natasha cry? And why has she gone away? . . . Are we strangers?

  RAKITIN. Of course not. What an idea! But as a matter of fact, we had not finished our conversation. . . , I must ask you . . . both - - to leave us alone for a little while.

  ISLAYEV. Indeed? There’s some secret between you, then?

  RAKITIN. Yes . . . but you shall know it.

  ISLAYEV [after a moment’s thought]. Come along, Mamma. . . . Let us leave them. Let them finish their mysterious conversation.

  ANNA SEMYONOVNA. But. . .

  ISLAYEV. Come, let us go. You hear he promises to explain.

  RAKITIN. You needn’t worry. . .. ISLAYEV [coldly]. I’m not worrying. [To ANNA SEMYONOVNA.] Let us go. [They go out.]

  RAKITIN [looks after them and goes quickly to the study door]. Natalya Petrovna, Natalya Petrovna, please come back.

  NATALYA PETROVNA [comes out of the study. She is very pale]. What did they say?

  RAKITIN. Nothing, don’t worry yourself. . . . They were rather surprised, certainly. Arkady thought you were ill.... He noticed how upset you were. ... Sit down, you can hardly stand. . . . [NATALYA PETROVNA sits downJ] I said ... I begged him not to worry you ... to leave us alone. NATALYA PETROVNA. And he agreed? RAKITIN. Yes. I had, I must say, to promise I’d explain it all to - morrow. Why did you go away?

  NATALYA PETROVNA [bitterly]. Why indeed! What are you going to say?

  RAKITIN. I’ll . . . I’ll think of something to say. But that’s no matter just now. We must take advantage of this reprieve. You see that this can’t go on. ... These violent emotions are too much for you. . . . They are unworthy of you. ... I myself. . But that’s not the point. Only be firm and I’ll manage. You agreed with me, you know. NATALYA PETROVNA. About what? RAKITIN. The necessity of ... our going. You do agree? If that’s so, it’s no good to delay. If you’ll let me, I’ll talk to Beliayev at once. . . . He’s a decent fellow, he’ll understand.

  NATALYA PETROVNA. You want to talk to him? You? But what can you say to him?

  RAKITIN [in embarrassment], I’ll . . .

  NATALYA PETROVNA [after a brief pause]. Rakitin, listen, don’t you think that we’re both behaving like lunatics? . . . I was in a panic, I frightened you, and perhaps it’s all about nothing that matters.

  RAKITIN. What?

  NATALYA PETROVNA. Really? What’s the matter with us? It seems only a little while ago everything was so quiet and peaceful in this house . . . and all at once . . . goodness knows how! Really we’ve all gone out of our minds. Come, it’s time to stop, we’ve been silly enough. . . . Let us go on as before. . . . And there’ll be no need to explain anything to Arkady; I’ll tell him about our antics myself and we’ll laugh over them together. I need no one to intercede between my husband and me!

  RAKITIN. Natalya Petrovna, you are frightening me now. You are smiling and you’re as pale as death. ... Do remember what you said to me only a quarter of an hour ago. . . .

  NATALYA PETROVNA. I dare say! But I see what it is. . . . You’re raising this storm . . .
that you may not sink alone.

  RAKITIN. Again, again suspicion, again reproaches, Natalya Petrovna. . . . God forgive you . . . but you torture me. Or do you regret having spoken so freely?

  NATALYA PETROVNA. I regret nothing.

  RAKITIN. Then how am I to understand you?

  NATALYA PETROVNA [eagerly]. Rakitin, if you say a single word from me or about me to Beliayev, I will never forgive you.

  RAKITIN. Oh! so that’s it! ... Don’t worry, Natalya Petrovna. So far from telling Mr. Beliayev anything, I won’t even say good - bye to him, when I take my departure. I don’t mean to pester you with my services.

  NATAYLA PETROVNA [with some embarrassment]. You imagine perhaps that I have changed my mind about... his going?

  RAKITIN. I imagine nothing.

  NATALYA PETROVNA. That’s not so. I’m so convinced of the necessity, as you say, of his leaving that I mean to dismiss him myself. [A pause.] Yes, I will dismiss him myself.

  RAKITIN. You?

  NATALYA PETROVNA. Yes. And at once. I beg you to send him to me.

  RAKITIN. What? This minute?

  NATALYA PETROVNA. This very minute. I ask you to do so, Rakitin. You see I am composed now. Besides, I shan’t be interrupted just now. I must seize the opportunity. ... I shall be very much obliged to you. I’ll question him.

  RAKITIN. But he won’t tell you anything. I can assure you. He admitted to me that he felt awkward with you.

  NATALYA PETROVNA [suspiciously]. Ah! You’ve been talking to him about me. [RAKITIN shrugs his shoulders.] Oh, forgive me, forgive me, Michel, and send him to me. You’ll see, I will dismiss him and all will be over. It will all pass and be forgotten, like a bad dream. Please fetch him. I absolutely must have a final conversation with him. You will be pleased with me. Pray do.

  RAKITIN [who has not taken his eyes off her all this time, coldly and mournfully]. Certainly. Your wishes shall be obeyed. [Goes towards door of outer room.]

  NATALYA PETROVNA [after him]. Thank you, Michel.

  RAKITIN [turning]. Oh, spare me your thanks, at least. . . . [Goes out quickly,.]

  NATALYA PETROVNA [alone, after a pause]. He’s a good man. . . . But is it possible I ever loved him? [Stands up.] He is right. He must go. But how can I dismiss him? I only want to know whether he really cares for that girl. Perhaps it’s all nonsense. . . . How could I be worked up into such a state? What was the object of all that outburst? Well, it can’t be helped now. I want to know what he is going to say. But he must go. ... He must... he must. . . . He may not be willing to answer. . . . He’s afraid of me, of course. . . . Well? So much the better. There’s no need for me to say much to him. . . . [Lays her hand on her forehead.] My head aches. Shall I put it off till to - morrow? Yes. I keep fancying they are all watching me to - day. . . . What am I coming to! No, better make an end of it at once. . . . Just one last effort and I am free. . . . Oh yes! I yearn for freedom and peace.

  [BELIAYEV comes in from the outer room.] Here he is. ...

  BELIAYEV [Going up to her]. Natalya Petrovna, Mihail Alexandritch tells me you want to see me.

  NATALYA PETROVNA [with some effort]. Yes, certainly . . I have to ... speak to you. . . .

  BELIAYEV. Speak to me?

  NATALYA PETROVNA [without looking at him]. Yes . . . speak to you. [A pause.] I must tell you, Alexey Nikolaitch, I’m . . . I’m displeased with you.

  BELIAYEV. May I ask on what ground?

  NATALYA PETROVNA. Listen. ... I ... I really don’t know how to begin. However, I must tell you first that my dissatisfaction is not due to any remissness in your work. On the contrary, I am pleased with your methods with Kolya.

  BELIAYEV. Then what can it be?

  NATALYA PETROVNA [glancing at him]. You need not be alarmed. . . . Your fault is not so serious. You are young, you have probably never before stayed with strangers, you could not foresee . . .

  BELIAYEV. But, Natalya Petrovna. . . .

  NATALYA PETROVNA. You want to know what is wrong? I understand your impatience. So I must tell you that Verotchka . . . [Glancing at him] Verotchka has confessed everything.

  BELIAYEV [in amazement], Vera Alexandrovna? What can Vera Alexandrovna have confessed? And what have I to do with it?

  NATALYA PETROVNA. So you really don’t know what she can have confessed? You can’t guess?

  BELIAYEV. I? No, I can’t.

  NATALYA PETROVNA. If so, I beg your pardon. If you really can’t guess, I must apologize. I supposed ... I was mistaken. But allow me to say, I don’t believe you. I understand what makes you say so. ... I respect your discretion.

  BELIAYEV I haven’t the least idea what you mean, Natalya Petrovna.

  NATALYA PETROVNA. Really? Do you expect to persuade me that you haven’t noticed that child’s feeling for you?

  BELIAYEV. Vera Alexandrovna’s feeling for me? I really don’t know what to say to that. . . . Good gracious! I believe I have always behaved with Vera Alexandrovna as

  NATALYA PETROVNA. As with everybody else, haven’t you? [After a brief silence.] However that may be, whether you are really unaware of it, or are pretending to be, the fact is the girl loves you. She admitted it to me herself. Well, now I am asking you, what do you mean to do?

  BELIAYEV [with embarrassment]. What do I mean to do?

  NATALYA PETROVNA [folding her arms]. Yes.

  BELIAYEV. All this is so unexpected, Natalya Petrovna. . . .

  NATALYA PETROVNA [after a pause]. Alexey Nikolaitch, I see ... I have not put the matter properly. You don’t understand me. You think I’m angry with you . . . but I’m . . . only ... a little upset. And that’s very natural. Calm yourself. Let us sit down. [They sit down.] I will be frank with you, Alexey Nikolaitch, and you too be a little less reserved with me. You have really no need to be on your guard with me. Vera loves you. . . . Of course, that’s not your fault, I am willing to assume that you are in no way responsible for it. ... But you see, Alexey Nikolaitch, she is an orphan, she is my ward. I am responsible for her, for her future, for her happiness. She is very young, and I feel sure that the feeling you have inspired in her may soon pass off. ... At her age, love does not last long. But you understand, it was my duty to warn you. It’s always dangerous to play with fire . . . and I do not doubt that, knowing her feeling for you, you will adopt a different behaviour with her, will avoid seeing her alone, walking in the garden. . . . Won’t you? I can rely on you. With another man I should be afraid to speak so plainly.

  BELIAYEV. Natalya Petrovna, I assure you I appreciate. . . .

  NATALYA PETROVNA. I tell you that I do not distrust. . . . Besides, all this will remain a secret between us.

  BELIAYEV. I must own, Natalya Petrovna, all you have told me seems to me so strange . . . of course, I can’t venture to disbelieve you, but. . .

  NATALYA PETROVNA. Listen, Alexey Nikolaitch. All I said to you just now ... I said it on the supposition that on your side there is nothing . .. [Breaks off] because if that’s not so ... of course I don’t know you well, but I do know you well enough to see no reason to make serious objections. You have no fortune . . . but you are young, you have your future before you, and when two people love each other . . . I tell you again, I thought it my duty to warn you, as a man of honour, of the consequences of your friendship with Vera, but if you . . .

  BELIAYEV [in perplexity], I really don’t know what you mean, Natalya Petrovna.

  NATALYA PETROVNA [hurriedly]. Oh! believe me, I’m not trying to wring out a confession, there’s no need. ... I shall see from your manner how it is. ... [Glancing at him.] But I ought to tell you that Vera fancied that you were not quite indifferent to her.

  BELIAYEV [after a brief silence, stands up]. Natalya Petrovna, I see that I can’t go on living in your house.

  NATALYA PETROVNA [firing up]. You might have waited for me to decide that. . . . [Stands up.]

  BELIAYEV. You have been frank with me. Let me be frank with you. I don’t love Vera Alexandrovna, at least, I don’t love he
r in the way you suppose.

  NATALYA PETROVNA. But I didn’t. . . [Stops short].

  BELIAYEV. And if Vera Alexandrovna cares for me, if she fancied, as you say, that I care for her, I don’t want to deceive her; I will tell her the whole truth myself. But after such plain speaking, you must see, Natalya Petrovna, that it would be difficult for me to stay here, my position would be too awkward. I can’t tell you how sorry I shall be to leave . . . but there’s nothing else for me to do. I shall always think of you with gratitude. . . . May I go now? ... I shall come to say good - bye properly later on.

  NATALYA PETROVNA [with affected indifference]. As you please . . . but I own I did not expect this. That was not my object in wishing to speak to you. ... I only wanted to warn you . . . Vera is still a child ... I have perhaps taken it all too seriously. I don’t see the necessity of your leaving us. However, as you please.