by Rebecca Main
“Do you really want to test me? Your strength against mine? Do recall what happened last time you attempted to keep me out. How easily I gained… access.”
My fingers unlock the door with disdain before I inch my way outside onto the porch. There is no way he’s coming inside. I glare at his satisfied smile, choosing to ignore how well-groomed he looks. Fitted shirt, sleeves rolled to reveal tan skin and toned forearms. His hair falls in loose pieces around his face, which has an easy smile in place.
“Is this our thing?” he asks teasingly. I give him my best incredulous look. How he can switch between two emotions so quickly is completely beyond my comprehension.
“We don’t have a thing.”
“If you insist, but I’m becoming quite familiar with this particular entryway.” His eyes gleam mischievously. It instantly brings to mind his brother.
“What do you want?” My voice holds no room for nonsense and his manner changes. Again.
“I wanted to give you these,” he holds out before him a small bouquet of flowers and a long, thin box with a dainty white ribbon wrapped around it.
“Pass,” I respond tersely. Xander’s jaw ticks, and I shift uncomfortably. I fight the instinct to cross my arms over my chest, and instead force my shoulders back to stand straighter. Xander’s hands stay outstretched.
“No need to be rude. These gifts are a gesture to accompany my apology. I behaved… irrationally last week. I’m not usually so careless with my emotions, and my jealousy and anger got the best of me. Please accept my apology.” He presses the wild flowers into my hands before slipping off the ribbon on the jewelry box and opening it with a small flourish. A rose gold bracelet lays inside. It’s one of the most delicate pieces of jewelry I have ever seen. The rose gold is woven tightly together to form small sections of braids.
“I can’t accept that,” I say softly with a shake of my head. He frowns down at me, fingers brushing against the sensitive skin on the inside of my wrist before he fastens the bracelet there. So much for my refusal. My lips draw a tight line. “Happy?” I bite out, valiantly pushing aside the sudden kindling of warmth running through my veins at his caress.
“Very,” he responds, “I saw it while in Helena and thought of you.”
“I hope you don’t think this will change my feelings about you. I’ve never been particularly fond of people trying to buy me off,” I tell him tartly, eyeing the jewelry with forced lackluster. His silence unsettles me, not that I let it show. I straighten and take a step back toward the door. “Is this it, then? I have a soufflé in the oven, and they’re quite temperamental when left unwatched.”
The silence collects between us until the air is thick and charged with all that is left unspoken between us. “How can I acquit myself?” he asks earnestly.
My eyes snap to his.
There is no hiding my consternation at his sincerity. My lips part and my breath catches. I choose to ignore the strange sensation that wraps around my heart at his laden words and direct my gaze elsewhere. Focus, Zoelle, I tell myself sternly. Xander only wants to complete the soulmark. Completing the soulmark means strengthening his pack, and that kind of power can, in turn, be used against the witches—the coven. My coven. I take a deep breath. He isn’t going to fool me. His trinkets and pretty smile won’t make me forget his wild and possessive nature. The one that overrides all others, when I come into view. I let my silence stand for my answer.
“You really don’t trust me, do you?” his voice sounds oddly hollow. Again, I fight the urge to believe him, to comfort and reassure him. It comes on so strongly I almost careen forward. No. I tell myself harshly. These feelings aren’t real. It’s just the soulmark.
“How could I? You’ve hardly kept to the agreement. You lied to your family about what we agreed. You take liberties with me whenever you can—don’t think I haven’t noticed the way you always find a reason to get your hands on me. Brushing things off my shoulder. Fixing my hair. Steadying me before I can even stumble.” I level him with a pointed glare, ticking off the offenses on my fingers. “Let’s not forget that you blatantly ignore the fact that I have a boyfriend and have the audacity to kiss me.” I shudder in indignation. “I’ve been sick with guilt all week because of you! I am not a cheater, Aleksandr Adolphus. That isn’t who I am. That’s not the person I want to be.”
My teeth chomp down on my tongue to keep from saying more. Feelings of inadequacies long since buried rise to the surface. Jamie’s months of infidelity left me feeling not good enough for anyone, and although Xander and I had only shared a kiss, I don’t want Ben to feel the way I had. My head bows as I stare resolutely at the floor. I needed to see Ben. The sooner, the better. “You should leave.”
“Is that what you really want?” Xander ducks his head as well, trying to catch my eyes, but to no avail.
“What I want is to turn back time. I wish I never went into that hellish forest and met you, but since time travel apparently isn’t in my bag of tricks, I’ll settle with you leaving me alone.”
He takes a step forward, crowding me in that oh-so-familiar way. The scent of pine and sandalwood waft around me at his nearness. When I finally deign to return his stare, I find his eyes hard like emeralds.
“I didn’t exactly want this to happen either,” he tells me coldly. “I grew used to the idea of never finding you. I made plans for my pack. I was forming an alliance and preparing a proposal to the Wselfwulf’s, and then you come out of nowhere. And now all I can think about is you. All I want is you. Everything I’ve been working for, everything I so carefully planned… I’ve spurned it all in my longing for you. And there’s nothing I can do about it.” He lets out an irate laugh and passes a hand roughly over his jaw. “You are my future, Baudelaire. I can’t fight it. And if I’m honest, I don’t want to. I won’t. You may deny me now, but we both know on some level you want me just as badly as I want you. You need what I have to offer you. Safety. Security. Strength. A way to sate that hunger of yours.
“I can give you the world if you would just say the word. Admit it. Admit to me and to yourself that there’s something there beyond the soulmark. Temptation. Curiosity. Even if it’s just a crumb. Tell me you feel nothing for me, honestly, that the soulmark has no effect on you other than to enhance what you already feel. I’m sure they have you drinking their potions and rot to keep the feelings at bay, but there must be something. Anything.” I stutter a breath at his impassioned speech, and he is quick to take advantage. His fingers dart forward to brush against my lips. Linger at their crease.
“No touching,” I tell him hoarsely, jerking my head to the side a fraction too late.
“You didn’t seem to mind before,” he reminds me, satisfaction carrying through his tone. “Set yourself at ease, sweetheart, we’re more alike than you might concede. The soulmark is the embodiment of the soul’s match. They are the perfect complement to your being. A mirror image of one another. You’re passionate, full of drive, and loyal to your family above all else. You think things through and bide your time, yet you crave something more. Something to overwhelm your senses. Electrify you. Something that will fill that missing piece inside of you. Isn’t that right, sweetheart?”
My head shakes resolutely side to side. “You’re wrong.”
He smirks. It’s a devilish thing filled with dark satisfaction. “I’m right,” he purrs, shuffling closer still. The flowers that stand between us press against our chests. The plastic crinkling its protest. “And do you know how I know I’m right?” His hand moves slowly to my collarbone. Wrist, to elbow, to shoulder, then down—
“Don’t. Don’t touch it,” I tell him sternly, my hand snapping up to cover the soulmark. It throbs against my palm.
“Fine,” he snarls, snatching up my wrist and shoving it past his parted shirt, and up and around his shoulder. I curl my fingers inward, but it’s no use, the temptation of the soulmark is too much to ignore.
Xander’s sharp intake of breath is nothing compared to
my own.
The air pulls straight from my lungs with pure ruthlessness. Stars explode behind my eyes and feeling floods my being. Feelings that burn and blaze from head to toe. It blooms and bends inside of me. Our eyes meet and hidden in the forest of his eyes live a thousand suns. They scorch as they seek their treasure, and there is only him. He shines like some golden god. Brilliant and slipping under my skin like a coat of arms. I have never felt so safe and secure. So loved.
My legs shake unsteadily, the traitorous things, and I stumble forward breaking the connection. Every nerve in my body stands at attention, as a piteous whine slips past my lips at the loss of sensation. Of him. Someone breathes harshly, but I can hardly tell who with the blood beating so hotly in my veins. Xander rests his head atop my own. His arms crush me to him.
Not again.
I feel a sob building inside of me. The turbulent emotions of the soulmark are almost too much to bear. How can this sliver of flesh anchor me so to him? What hope do I have to resist, when at the slightest touch I lose all sense? I take a shuddering breath. It’s so easy to lose myself in the sensation it evokes. The dizzying ecstasy it brings both enchants and terrifies me. I sink unwittingly into Xander’s embrace, taking comfort in his strength as I attempt to regain my breath.
Every time we seem to meet, I lose a little bit more of myself to this man, and I had only just put me all back together and learned to live this half-life. My heart locked away, never to be broken again. A tear slips down my cheek.
I want Xander out of my life. I want him gone.
I want—
Oh no. The soulmark quivers, my body following suit. I want.
“What’s wrong,” Xander whispers, pulling back with wide eyes as he surveys the river of tears now falling down my face.
“I’m awful,” I whisper back, squeezing my eyes tightly shut.
“You’re perfect,” he tells me harshly, “you’re—”
“A liar. A cheater. I’m awful. Please, please leave,” I beg as I remove myself fitfully from his embrace and rush inside the house. A furtive glance over my shoulder and I catch the flash of disappointment and dread that pulls the color from his face. I clutch the crushed flowers to my chest as I slam the door shut behind me, my sobs shaking my entire body. What have I done?
– Chapter 7 –
Chance Meetings
“I don’t know what to do,” Xander mumbles under his breath, his scotch glass hanging loosely in his grip as he stares into the flames of the fire. Ryatt snorts from his seated position in the lounge, his own glass almost empty.
“Well, obviously not what you’re doing now.” The brothers glare at one another, and Irina’s snort breaks their standoff.
“First, you need to get rid of the boyfriend. You’re making her feel like some kind of trollop.”
Xander frowns. “I’m working on it.”
“Well, work on it faster,” Irina snarls, sinking back into the divan with a pout. “The Wselfwulfs are bound to have heard of your soulmarking by now. They’ll demand to meet her at the dinner and see who is set to rule at your side. She needs to be prepared. She needs to be strong, and she needs to be pack. We can’t afford a war.”
“We could if Xander at least marked her. Xander would receive a considerable boost in power and then that power would trickle its way through the pack lines and strengthen us as a whole. But if he could complete the bond… well, the Wselfwulf’s wouldn’t dare near us with that kind of power behind our alpha. Irina is right, brother. You need to move things along more quickly. An alpha soulmark is not something the Wselfwulfs will take lightly. She’s in danger whether she knows it or not. They’ll want her dead to weaken you. To weaken us.”
Xander’s brows draw together, a sneer pulling at his top lip. “An alpha soulmark....” His scoff finishes his sentence.
“Yes,” Irina snaps, her own features pinching together to form a beautiful scowl. “Come now Xander, you know our rank highly dictates not only our strength, but the potency of the soulmark.” Irina rolls her eyes at Xander’s gentle scoff, before narrowing at the slight.
“And what of the she-wolf’s soulmark bond?” Xander asks, his sudden about-face blasé tone and demeanor setting the she-wolf’s shoulders back.
“What of it?” Irina asks her shoulders still stiff.
Ryatt crows as he watches his siblings with amusement twinkling in his eyes. “You need only remember how our sister wears her heart on her sleeve so freely, brother.”
Irina’s chin lifts, her green eyes narrowing on her brother. “She-wolves are known for their passion, and I won’t be mocked for it.”
Xander releases a small sigh, eyes turning to deliver a pensive gaze to the fire. “You’re right, Irina. A she-wolf’s passion should be admired and cherished by the pack, not mocked.” Two sets of green eyes turn towards the remaining Adolphus sibling, whose hands rise defensively in front of him.
“I was merely teasing.”
“And what of Ryatt’s soulmark bond? What will it be like?”
Irina’s eyes widen, a devious smile curving her full pink lips as she continues to stare down her brother. Ryatt’s own smirk falters and he quickly speaks before his siblings can edge in another word. “It will be chaos, I assure you,” he says. In the next instant he knocks back the rest of his drink. “The wolf inside me is far different than the others of this pack. It strays often to the forefront of my mind. I’m sure if I find my soulmark both the wolf and I will enjoy the hunt.”
The siblings remain quiet for a time, before Irina looks toward Xander. Softly she speaks, “This dinner is a ploy—a distraction. I fear what might happen at home while we’re away. If the mark is at least in place, then the binding will be quick to follow. Then the witches will have no choice but to fully align with us and create a barrier around the town to prevent any planned attacks. They’re out for blood—our blood. I know it.”
“The dinner is in celebration of Marius’s coming of age. Nothing more. It will be his first run with his family. The entire Wselfwulf pack will be there. I highly doubt an attack. After all, Marius is Rollins’s nephew. He favors him almost above his own son.”
The room grows silent with the sibling's contemplation. “Irina is right about one thing. You need to get rid of her boyfriend. I might be of some help with that,” Ryatt says with a wicked grin. “I’m quite good with a hammer.”
“No,” Xander growls. “I won’t hurt the boy. She’d despise me even more.”
“Surely, she doesn’t despise you,” Irina says with exasperation. “Very much dislike you, yes, but I doubt she is indifferent to you. The soulmark will have made sure of that. She doesn’t still deny it, does she?” Xander shakes his head, his face a mixture of frustration and sadness.
“It’s all she’s capable of doing, though her actions would say otherwise.”
“She’ll come around, brother. Just wear her down. You know the game,” Ryatt tells him.
“No.” Irina’s lips form a firm line, before inhaling calmly through her nose, gathering her patience. “Xander, it’s clear that you need to spend a little more time listening to Zoe rather than taking every opportunity to try to stick your tongue down her throat. Surely this is the reason why she wanted to be friends in the first place. To cultivate a relationship with you that wasn’t based on sex or the soulmark. You must use this friendship as an opportunity to build the foundation of an actual relationship. Give her more. She deserves it.” Xander sighs his consent. “Why don’t I go out with her? Have a little chat, girl-to-girl, hmm?”
Xander mulls over the idea, the furrow in his brow lessening as his taut body relaxes inch by inch. He casts a hopeful look toward Irina. “I think that would be good. Thank you. Anything at this point would help. I can feel myself growing more restless the longer the bond stays unfinished, and I don’t want to force myself on her. And I don’t want to go mad. I just… want her.” His voice is full of pain. Irina and Ryatt’s share a look of quiet concern with one ano
ther, silently communicating a promise to help Xander at whatever cost.