by Abella Ward
Did I feel sad when I left? It’s hard to say. I remember realizing that I would never again see the little corner where I slept at night, the one place in the world I considered mine. I would never again get to see the dull red sun rise over the Goseb home world as I washed the cobblestone steps of the garrison.
My journey to X29 was my first trip into space. Single file, we were led into the cargo bay where rows of hard metal chairs waited. We were ordered to sit. Once I was down, a cold metal bar was strapped across my chest, trapping me in the seat. I remember looking around, hoping to see stars or the Goseb home world from space. But there were no windows in the cargo bay. I could only see the sad faces of the other humans. It was always hard to look at them, hard eyes, permanent frowns, a defeated air. I knew that I must look just the same.
I gasped as the acceleration of the ship pushed me back against the cold metal chair. My neck strained as the ship fought the planet’s gravity. For a moment I could neither breathe nor move and panic flooded through me. I had no idea if this was normal or if I was about to die. But then the pressure relented and I realized we had made it into space.
I could smell the gas first. We all could. We weren’t permitted to speak to each other, but murmurs echoed around the cargo bay. Some struggled against the bars of their chairs, but I knew it was futile. I let my head fall back and took a deep breath. I could taste the gas. My eyes grew heavy, warmth spread through my body and the next thing I knew I was waking up. My head pounded and my throat was dry. I would later learn that I had spent forty-nine hours unconscious on the ship. I heard voices around me as my fellow humans moaned and cried out. It was harder on the older ones. An elderly woman two seats down didn’t wake up at all.
The transport ship shuddered then reverberated and an announcement came over the speaker. We had docked with the garrison ship orbiting the mining planet of X29.
About twenty Goseb guards entered the rooms as the bars along our chair released us.
“Kneel,” said the commanding guard. There was no question, no argument from any of the humans. We were beyond expendable to the Gosebs. It was easier for them to kill us than negotiate and we were reminded of that every day.
I knelt on the ground as Goseb guards moved up and down the lines of waiting humans. A tingle went up and down my spine as the guard stood behind me. I closed my eyes and there was a loud buzzing noise followed by a painful burning sensation on the back of my neck. I bit down a gasp, but it was over quickly. A quick sting. It was a tracking device linked to the ship. Anywhere I went, they would know. Anything I did, they would know.
“Mereen Silver.” My name was called out in a list with about fifteen others. Rising to my feet, I kept my head down and fell in line where I was told.
A Goseb soldier led us down the hallway, giving out instructions as we hurried along. His voice wasn’t muffled by his black mask, it came out clear and commanding. “Grand Commander Detro Mirol has been given the great honor of overseeing mining efforts on X29. You will work as part of his personal retinue and see that all of his needs and desires are met.”
Detro had his own private living quarters on the ship. A large kitchen, sitting rooms, bedrooms and his own personal human staff to go along with it. We arrived in the brand new kitchen and changed into gray jumpsuits. We knelt on the floor waiting for our new orders to be given.
Detro Mirol was a grand commander, and his steward was a Goseb soldier on the rise named Troslo. He stomped into the kitchen and looked over the humans kneeling before him. He took his time walking up and down our ranks. Sometimes he would touch our hair or shoulders. I knew other Gosebs like this, and humans as well. He had tasted power and liked it. He wanted more.
He stopped before me and tilted my chin up to meet his.
“Mereen Silver,” he said, reading off a display. “No marks or charges against you. That’s impressive. Stand.”
I did as I was told, aware that every eye in the room was on me.
“Grand Commander Detro Mirol is a well-disciplined leader. You will meet his schedule or you will be reassigned.” I nodded. “He likes his basda the moment he wakes, which is after exactly seven hours of sleep, no more, no less. Half an hour after delivering the basda you will deliver his breakfast. He eats lunch six hours after breakfast and dinner six hours after that. Do you understand?”
“Yes, sir,” I replied.
“You will deliver his meals to him and help him dress for the day. You,” he pointed to an older human woman next to me, “Sierra, you will be the head cook for the Grand Commander. If he is displeased with his food, or it does not arrive when he wishes it, you two will be the ones to suffer the consequences.”
Sierra and I glanced at each other and nodded at the guard. We were thrown right into the work. According to the very exact schedule, Detro was expecting his coffee within the half hour. Still tired from the drugs, with a headache that refused to relent, I was given instructions on how to reach Detro’s quarters and the precise way I was to knock on his door.
There was an elaborate cart and I carefully loaded a set of ornate Goseb drinking glasses and a large pitcher of basda, which is a warm, caffeinated drink favored by the Gosebs. I made sure to wipe my fingerprints off the perfectly blown glass cups, and carefully lined each cup up in a neat row.
The door opened automatically for me. The sensor in my neck would allow me access to certain places on the ship. I took a tentative step into the gunmetal-gray hallway and then took another. The long hallway was empty, and even though I was doing what I had been ordered to I still felt like I was about to get in trouble at any minute. It was always dangerous to be a lone human on a Goseb ship. I kept glancing behind me and around me, looking for a place to hide should trouble come.
The gravity on the ship was lighter than the Goseb home world and it felt a little like I was floating when I walked. I stopped short when I came across a window and looked out into inky blackness spotted with stars. Space. I was in space at that exact moment. I stepped away from the car to get a better look out of the window and I saw the world of X29 below me. It was like an orange, spinning ball, massive and breathtaking.
As instructed, I pushed the communication panel once. Almost immediately the door opened and, taking a deep breath, I entered the softly lit chamber. It was decorated like a traditional Goseb home. There were plush carpets on the floor and elaborately decorated tapestries hanging from the wall. There was even a fireplace along one wall, though it was non-working. Fire on a ship made little sense. Instead, it projected heat and the image and sound of a crackling fire.
It was lit now, casting a soft orange light and a warm heat through the room. There was a large bed against one wall and a massive desk against the other. I glanced at the desk and saw the black, featureless mask worn by Gosebs and the matching dark armor. Detro wasn’t dressed yet.
I kept my eyes down. I didn’t want him to be embarrassed or think me impudent. I didn’t see him in the room, so I left the cart near the desk and then turned to leave.
“Stop,” I heard a stern voice say, and a shiver ran up and down my back as I stopped an arm's reach from the door.
Chapter Three
I could hear him moving around behind me and I wasn’t sure what to do. If I turned around without permission, I could be punished. If I kept my back turned to him, he could consider it rude and I would be punished. He was a new entity. I needed to learn his ways and mannerisms if I was going to survive on the ship.
“Relax, you are in no trouble,” he said. But I didn’t know how to relax in front of a Goseb commander. Was this some sort of trick? Or did he want something else from me? Slowly, I turned to face him. I let my eyes flick to his face for just a moment, but it was enough. He was standing near the door to his personal washroom. He was wearing nothing but a robe hanging loosely over his strong form and staring at a small display held in his left hand.
His skin was a deep green color, and his violet eyes seemed to shine in the dimly li
t room. He had short, dark hair and thin lips with a long nose. His open robe revealed a strong chest.
“What is your name?” he asked me. His voice was soothing. He wasn’t yelling at me or interrogating me, just asking a question.
“Mereen Silver, sir,” I answered.
“You were last stationed on the Goseb home world, correct?”
“Yes, sir.”
“How I miss my home,” he said, dropping the display to his side. “The red sun, the vibrant jungle, the green ocean. I long for home. I have not been there in many years.” He stopped and looked at me as if expecting me to say something.
“It is a lovely planet, sir,” I replied.
A long silence fell between us as he looked at me with a bemused expression. “Have you ever seen Earth?” He asked.
“No,” I answered quietly. “I was born and raised at the garrison.”
He nodded and, with a wave of his hand, two panels slid aside, revealing a huge window and the planet below. “It’s a shame we couldn’t find a planet more similar to Earth. But X29 was just too rich in ore for us to pass up. They say it is unpleasant for the humans who live there. I hoped you could tell me if it felt familiar, but since you’ve never been to Earth...” He shrugged and pointed to the tray of basda. “Pour me a glass,” he commanded, and with a nod I did as I was told.
Detro turned and stared out of the window as I struggled to keep my hand from shaking. He heard the glass clinking from my nervous hand, and turned around and watched as I put the delicate pitcher down. He moved towards me. He was taller than I and he crossed the room in a few steps.
I was frozen in place. There was nothing I could do. There was no fight I could give. I closed my eyes and thought back to happier times. I felt his warm hand on my chin, and he tilted my head up to give him a better look.
“Open your eyes,” he commanded. I did as I was told, looking into his purple eyes. “They’re lovely,” he said. “I was told that brown eyes were the most common color for humans, but I am still struck by them whenever I see them.”
I didn’t know what to say to that. My heart was pounding in my chest. I was standing only inches from a high commander. I could feel his warmth; I could smell the peppery soap he used. He inched closer and tilted his head. We were only inches apart. His bright eyes were still staring into mine. I swallowed heavily. He blinked, and whatever spell had been cast over us passed. He let go of my chin and took a step back.
“Troslo has told you of my schedule?” he asked.
“Yes, sir,” I replied.
“See that you stick to it and no harm will come to you. I reward good work, but I do not hesitate to punish laziness.”
“Thank you, sir,” I replied. He waved his hand and I was given permission to leave.
I couldn’t stop shaking. I didn’t know what it meant when he looked into my eyes. What did he want from me? It wasn’t impossible to guess. It was common knowledge that some Goseb men preferred human women. But I didn’t know if Detro was one of them. I could do something with this information. I had heard stories of women who used their bodies to get what they wanted. Women who manipulated both human and Goseb men.
How did they do that? I had no idea. I had been fortunate on the Goseb garrison. It had been forbidden for the Goseb soldiers to lie with human females. We were considered weak distractions. Goseb men were encouraged to find a good Goseb woman to bond and reproduce with. Plus, my curvy frame was not favored by the Gosebs. Their women were tall and willowy. My wide hips and large breasts were a turn-off for most of them.
Twenty minutes later, the cart was loaded with a meal for Detro and I was again walking down the hallway to the chambers, frantically debating what to do. Should I bat my eyelashes, sway my hips, lick my lips? But that would encourage him and the thought of actually being with him in that way was terrifying.
I was at his door before I knew it. There was no more time for debate. Detro kept a strict schedule. I pressed the communication button, the door opened and I walked inside. It was brighter now. Detro was dressed, but not yet in his armor or mask. He sat at the desk, barely lifting his head when I entered.
I brought the cart next to him. All of my thoughts of pouting lips and batting lashes were gone. I was too nervous, too afraid to do anything but turn towards the door.
“Why are you always in such a rush to leave?” he asked, without looking up.
“Forgive me, sir,” I said. “But that is generally what commanders want.”
“I am not a normal commander,” he said. “I was brought here to oversee the human working camp below and improve output. It is my opinion that happier, well-fed humans work better than those that are starved and miserable. X29 is my opportunity to test this theory.”
“I hope it is a great success, sir,” I said. I had never spoken so conversationally to a Goseb before. Normally the Goseb only gave orders which I carried out. No Goseb had ever told me of their plans or desires. None of them had ever asked for my company like this.
He looked up then and I saw the hint of a smile on his face. “I’m glad to hear that, but it’s not the humans I need to convince.”
“I never knew the Gosebs cared much for human happiness,” I said.
“The older generation felt that way,” he said. “But that was during the invasion and early occupation. Things have changed now and the Goseb society requires humans to function. We can no longer treat your people like a disposable resource. There is a new generation that thinks it might be better to encourage the humans instead of oppressing them so violently.”
He was watching me, judging my response. But I was an expert at concealing my emotions and I kept my face a blank mask.
“What do you think?” he asked me.
“It makes sense to me, sir.”
“And what is it that you’re afraid to tell me?” He turned in his seat and looked at me. “I can see that you’re hiding something. What makes you so nervous? You can tell me. You won’t be punished.”
“I think it’s a good idea, sir. But I don’t think it will ever happen. I’m sorry.” I regretted the words the moment I spoke them. I cast my eyes down to the plush rug and waited. I wondered which would come first, the yelling or the hitting. I should have flattered him and told him he was a genius. Instead, I insulted the first Goseb who had ever shown kindness to me.
“Do not apologize,” he said. “There are many who think that way. But my allies and I are convinced that we can change their minds. It will take a long time, and peace between our races will not occur in our lifetime. But as the older, harder generation passes on, a new generation emerges. One that sees more value in humans than just the physical labor we can pull from them.
“It’s always scary to go against tradition. There are few who enjoy change. But change is necessary. Without it, we grow stagnant and die. I know my ideas are unpopular now, but I am confident that I can prove here and now on this planet that kindness and generosity will get us farther than violence and hardship. Will you help me, Mereen Silver?” He spoke eloquently and with passion, and when he was done I stood before him in awe. Who was this commander that so casually spoke of improving my people’s lives?
“Of course,” I answered in a breathy whisper. His dream was so far-fetched as to be laughable, but he spoke with such a strong conviction that I could do nothing but agree with him. For just a moment, I allowed myself to imagine a future where humans were not just the starving prisoners of the Goseb, but were instead their own people with their own voice and say. But the flash of imagination was gone in an instant. It was foolish to hope for such a thing. Detro was only one Goseb. How could he be expected to change the minds of all the rest?
Chapter Four
It was late in the afternoon when I finally rose from my bed. I felt better in the afternoon, thanks to resting all morning, no doubt. I was lucky. I knew there were plenty of women in this camp as pregnant as I was who didn’t have the options I had. They only knew how to do the wor
k the Gosebs gave them.
Detro had been missing for weeks, and in that time all of the plans he had implemented on the planet had been done away with. The large meals, the day of rest, the entertainment, the doctors and medicines were all gone. X29 had returned to its former brutality.
I wrapped my shawl over my head and, throwing my rucksack over my shoulder, I stepped out into the heat of the afternoon. The camp was empty. The men were down in the mines, the women were at their work and my shift in laundry started in mere minutes. I walked past rows of identical tents and finally emerged on the edge of the camp where the actual buildings stood.
The sensor in my neck opened the door to the laundry and I quickly moved down the steps. Everything here was underground, where it was cooler, and the laundry was no exception.
The laundry was one big open room. The hard, dirt floor was cool and most women worked barefoot. Dirty clothes and sheets were piled into large vats which quickly cleaned and dried them. Most of the women stood along a long table, folding and sorting the clothes.
“Good morning, Marge,” I said to the human woman in charge of the laundry. She was hunched over and withered, with long strands of gray hair hanging in her eyes. She looked mean, and she was, but she wasn’t stupid. I made a tidy profit for her and she appreciated that.
She nodded once at me and said, “There’s work waiting for you in the office.”
I moved past her, ignoring the women working at the long table. I was always worried about gossip. If word spread about my side business I would be executed immediately. I opened the door to the office and saw the room where the Goseb armor and masks were cleaned and corrected. There was a pile of black, featureless masks on one of the tables. They were marred by small dings and scratches and would need to be repaired. Fixing the masks was technically my job, but I moved past them without stopping.