Who to talk to? Zack or Joel? He scratched that thought as soon as it entered his head. That would be the worst kind of betrayal. His father? He snorted at that thought, too. Cisco? No, not Cisco. Cisco would kick his ass all the way to the New York state line for letting Sonia get away from him. Ezra? As nice and as wonderful as Ezra was, he couldn’t see himself unloading to the older man. There were some strained feelings between Erza and his own children they weren’t privy to. No, not Ezra. Then who?
The answer was right in front of him just the way it always was—Hanny and Sara. It shouldn’t be like this.
Sam looked down at his untied sneakers. He tied the laces. He was dressed for running, so run he would, even though he’d just eaten. So what if he cramped up. So what!
Sara lived a mile and a quarter away, Hanny less than a mile. If he ran at top speed, he could be at either house within minutes. Which one? He’d have to play it by ear. If Zack was home, he’d go to Sara’s. If Joel was home, he’d return home and go to bed. The decision made, he picked up his wallet and keys and left the house.
Sam’s legs pumped furiously as he ran down the street, turned the corner, and headed in the direction of Hannah’s sprawling ranch house. Twelve minutes later, his speed slowed as he approached Andover Street, where Hannah and Zack lived. Only one car, Hannah’s, sat in the driveway. The house was lit up from top to bottom. Even the sensor lights on the peaks of the house glowed. He knew that Hanny had always been afraid of the dark. He was surprised that she still was. On the other hand, maybe it was a welcome home signal for Zack. Hell, maybe Hannah had a thing with the power company and agreed to burn lights for a reduction on her bill. It was such a stupid thought, he laughed out loud.
Sam walked around to the back of the house, to the kitchen, where he knocked on the door. He could see his sister at the chopping block dicing vegetables. She looked up, a smile on her face. A smile that vanished when she saw it was Sam at the door and not Zack. She motioned for him to come in.
Sam eyed the wicked-looking chopping knife as he sat down on a stool across from his sister. “What are you making? I had one of Cisco’s potpies.”
“Stew. In a pressure cooker so it will be ready when Zack gets home. I called and left a message that I was home making dinner.” Hanny bit down on her lower lip. “He didn’t call me back. I have a bad feeling, Sam. You know, like something’s wrong, but you can’t quite put your finger on it. Waiting for the other shoe to drop, that kind of thing. I’m thinking if I press this or accuse him, he’ll choose the other woman over me. I don’t think I could bear that. I’m just cooking to have something to do.”
Hanny scooped up the carrots, the celery, and the onions, and dropped them into the pressure cooker. She locked it, washed her hands, then sat down across from her brother and looked at him with worried eyes.
“I have a pie in the oven. One of those frozen ones. It’s called Razzleberry. It’s almost done.”
His sister seemed so brittle all of a sudden. He really thought that if he snapped his fingers, she’d break in two. He turned off the thought. “Shut up, Hanny. I didn’t come over here for a culinary dissertation. Has it ever occurred to you that neither you, Sara, nor I has a best friend? Don’t look at me like that. Has it?”
Hannah tugged at her earlobe as she squirmed on the stool she was sitting on. “Is this some kind of trick question? Does it have something to do with Sonia?”
Sam swiped his hands through the tight curls on his head, his expression surly. “Will you just answer the question, Hanny?”
Hannah shrugged. “You and Sara are my best friends. You already know that, Sam, so why are you deviling me like this? Plus, you look like some kind of wild person. What’s wrong?”
She looks even more brittle, as though she’s crumbling from the inside now, Sam thought. “I’ll tell you what’s wrong. Sara told me Sonia is pregnant. I’m her husband, and I didn’t know. Do you know why, Hanny? Because I thought Sonia and I had an understanding that we would wait a few years before we started a family. Actually, it was a promise we made to each other. Sonia didn’t choose to honor that promise. Now she’s gone. She didn’t take any money from our joint accounts. She didn’t take her jewelry. I suppose it’s possible her parents sent her money. Hell, for all I know she could have been saving aluminum cans and turned them in for a windfall.”
“And your point is…”
“My point is I don’t have a friend to talk to about this. A guy friend. I should have a guy friend. You should have girlfriends, and so should Sara, but you don’t. None of us has friends. Think about it, Hanny. We stepped into marriages poorly prepared to be close to anyone outside our immediate family. None of us is coping. We’re a damn mess is what we are.”
Hannah bristled. “Speak for yourself, Sam.”
“No. Listen to me, Hannah. Think about this. When you first thought that Zack was having an affair, did you tell anyone? No, because there was no one to tell but Sara or me, and you didn’t want us to know. And you didn’t confide in us about your suspicions until you’d worried yourself sick. If you had a best friend, I bet you ten dollars you would have told her right away. Now, you have another problem. I’m almost certain you’re wrong about those two guys. How are you going to explain all this to Zack? You didn’t trust him enough to find out the truth before assuming the worst about him. Face it, the three of us don’t know how to interact with other people in close relationships. We’re like islands unto ourselves. Even I know that’s not good. When we go back for our college reunions, who are we going to be anxious to see? Which friends? We don’t have any truly close friends to be concerned about. Am I getting through to you, Hanny?”
“I’ll deal with it, Sam. As for friends, if you feel the need to make new ones, go out there and do it. This is all about Sonia in some cockamamie way, isn’t it?” Not bothering to wait for a response, Hanny rushed on. “You take care of your problems, and I’ll take care of mine. From here on in, sharing is out. Are you okay with that? By the way, did you call Cisco when you got home?”
“No. Did you?”
Hanny looked away. “No,” she mumbled. “I guess what you’re saying is, we’re all messed up.”
“Yeah. Yeah, we are, Hanny. Maybe it’s not too late to get on track. One more time, if it came down to Zack or me and Sara, who would you choose?”
Hannah burst into tears. She hopped off the stool when the oven timer went off. Sam watched as she took the berry pie out of the oven and set it on a trivet. “Okay, okay, you and Sara. Now are you happy that you made me admit it? Well, are you?” she screeched.
Sam stood up, squared his shoulders, and said coldly, “That, Hannah Cisco Kelly, was the wrong answer. And if you think for one minute that Zack doesn’t know the answer, then you are nuts. And that makes you a bigger fool than I am. Good night, Hanny.”
Outside in the star-filled night, Sam hitched up his sweat-pants and headed off to Sara’s house. He was almost there; in another ten minutes he’d ruin her night just the way he’d ruined Hannah’s.
Sam was breathing a little harder by the time he reached Sara’s house. Like Hannah’s, the split-level house was lit from top to bottom. Only Sara’s car sat in the driveway, which meant Joel wasn’t home. Once again, he made his way to the back door, expecting to see Sara in the kitchen. He peered through the half pane but the kitchen, while lit up, was empty. He rang the bell and waited. When his sister appeared he noticed that her curly hair was wet, and she was dressed in an old bathrobe. She held a glass of wine in her hand. Sam wasn’t sure, but from the look in her eyes, she’d had a few glasses prior to his visit. Another unhappy camper. He waited for her to unlock the door.
“What brings you out here, Sam? Didn’t you just drop me off a little while ago? Is something wrong?”
“Make some coffee and dump that wine. You look like you already have a snoot full. I’m here to ask you some questions.”
Sara carried her wineglass to the sink and proceeded to
make coffee. “I don’t know any more than I already told you about Sonia, Sam. It’s your problem, and you have to make it right. Right now I’m trying to deal with what Hanny told me about Joel.”
“Look at me, Sara. Why don’t you, Hanny, and I have any best friends?”
To her credit, Sara looked stunned at the question. “What are you talking about? You and Hanny are my best friends. What’s with you anyway?”
“Don’t you think that’s a little strange, Sara? There’s a whole world out there,” Sam said, motioning to the door. “A whole world with millions of people in it, and we can’t call any of them our best friends. That’s pretty damn sad if you want my opinion.”
“Is this some sort of guy thing? It’s kind of late for a talk about our lack of friends, isn’t it? It’s time to go to bed, Sam. Can we talk about this tomorrow?”
“No, we can’t talk about this tomorrow. When Mom was alive, we played with other kids. She was always taking us to some kid’s house or fetching them to our house. Not the three of us together to one house because we each had different friends. I used to play with Billy Rutherford. He lived far enough away that Mom had to drive me. You and Hanny never came with us. You had other friends. That all stopped when Mom died. What I’m trying to say here is she knew we were individuals. She didn’t want us glued to each other because we’re triplets, but that’s exactly what happened. Let me put it to you another way, Sara. We’re screwed up.”
Sara turned thoughtful. “I vaguely remember a little girl named Becky. She had long braids and always had scabs on her knees. Her mom made gingerbread cookies and let us decorate them. I wonder what happened to her.”
“You could always find out if you wanted to. Unless she left the valley. Cisco would know. At some point, I’m going to search out Billy. I remember one of Hanny’s friends, too. Her name was Leslie Byrnes.”
“Where are you going with this, Sam?”
“I don’t know, Sara. Tell me something before I leave. If Joel walked in the door this minute, and I said, take your pick, him or me, who would you choose?”
Unlike Hanny, Sara didn’t hesitate. She didn’t bite down on her lip, didn’t screech at him. The one word sailed off her lips as though it was perched there just waiting to be uttered. “You.”
“Wrong answer, Sara.” Sam’s shoulders slumped as he made his way to the back door. He had his hand on the knob when Sara stopped him in his tracks.
“And if the situation were reversed, and I said, Sonia or me and Hanny, who would you choose?”
Sam’s shoulders slumped even further. “Sonia,” he said, closing the door quietly behind him. He pretended not to hear Sara’s anguished cry as he started down the path leading to the street. He knew she would call Hanny the moment she got her wits about her. He wished he had someone to call.
Sam shivered inside his sweatshirt. He’d have to run at a high rate of speed to get warm again. Damn, I am so tired. The dark night had turned cold, but the stars sprinkled the darkness lighting his way. Over his shoulder he could see a thin slice of the moon. He remembered a nursery rhyme about a cow jumping over the moon. He laughed then, but it was not a happy sound.
In order to keep warm, Sam picked up his brisk walking pace, then broke into a full run. He was whizzing down the street where Hanny lived when he saw Zack’s BMW pull into the driveway. Just in time to eat Hanny’s stew and Razzleberry pie. He wondered if Hanny would hang up the phone when Zack entered the house. Probably not. Sara was too important to Hanny.
Sam remembered Billy Rutherford very well. As he ran, finding Billy Rutherford seemed like the most important thing in the world to Sam.
Zack Kelly pressed the button on his key chain that would lock his car. He looked up at the house that he and Hannah had bought. It was all lit up. Hannah had a thing about lights. Even when the sun was out, she’d turn lights on. She was home, that was the big thing. He probably should have returned her earlier call, but he hadn’t.
Suddenly, he didn’t want to go into the house. While he wanted to see his wife, he didn’t want to see her. The crazy thought made sense to him. He knew what he had to do, and he dreaded it. The fact that his wife was home worried him. Now he was going to have to switch gears. He needed more time, time to psych himself for the moment when he would blurt out the truth of what he and Joel had done. This definitely was not the time.
Zack looked down at his watch. Ten minutes to ten. A hell of a time to be coming home from work. Joel had canceled dinner, as had Marylee and Corinne. He thought about the egg salad sandwich he’d had for dinner, which was now lying like a lead weight in his stomach. The gallon of black coffee he’d consumed had him wired for flight.
With no dog or cat to alert Hanny to his arrival, Zack stood at the back door and watched his wife talk on the phone. She was probably talking to Sara or Sam. A daily if not an hourly occurrence. It had never bothered him before, but this time it set his teeth on edge.
He saw the pie, the pressure cooker. Hannah had made dinner. A dinner he wasn’t going to eat. He watched as his wife dabbed at her eyes, which had to mean she had either been crying or was crying now. Why?
Suddenly he felt like a spy. He didn’t like the feeling. He gave his own eyes a quick swipe before he opened the door. Startled, Hannah turned around, her face lighting up, tears sparkling in her eyes. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” she said into the phone before she hung it up. “I’m home!” she said happily, her arms extended as she walked toward him. She stopped in her tracks, her arms dropping to her sides when she noticed the cold, angry expression on her husband’s face.
Zack gritted his teeth. “So I see,” he said coldly. “I’m tired. I’m going to bed. I hope you had a good shopping trip.” His thoughts were bitter as he recalled his wasted time off and what he’d had to do to get it.
“But, honey, I made your favorite dinner. It won’t taste the same tomorrow. Can I get you a glass of wine?”
“I don’t want any wine, and didn’t you hear me? I’m tired, and I’m going to bed. In case you don’t already know this, I’ve been working around the clock while you and your sister and brother were shopping.”
Tired and not hungry had to mean he’d been with her. The thought sent shivers up her spine. Hannah’s back stiffened. “You don’t have to sound so ugly about it, Zack. You’re never home anyway, so I don’t think you could have missed me all that much. We all did our share before we left. I’m referring to the tornado. I also made you seven dinners and put them in the freezer, so I didn’t leave you bereft. I didn’t say a word when you went to that ten-day conference in California or that five-day symposium in Puerto Rico. I guess shopping is a sinful thing to do. I’m sorry. Maybe you should go to bed before one of us says something we’ll regret. I’ll eat by myself.”
She looked so pretty, Zack thought. Was it his imagination, or had his wife lost a few pounds on her shopping trip? It was hard to tell with the baggy slacks and colorful reindeer sweater she was wearing. Her face did look thinner to him, though. God, how he loved her. This was going to be harder than he thought it would be. He knew in his gut she would walk out on him the minute he told her what he’d done. He steeled himself for whatever was to come next.
“Zack, we need to talk. Obviously, you’re angry. I can explain…at least I think I can explain if you’ll just give me a few minutes. The table’s set, the wine’s chilled. It’s been a very long time since we had dinner together. Won’t you reconsider? I have something important I want to talk to you about.”
Zack whirled around. “You know what, Hannah, I had something important to talk to you about, too. I practically moved the earth to get this weekend off so we could spend it together, but then you had to go to New York to shop. Why don’t we just drop this whole thing for now? I’m not hungry. I have no desire to talk, and I’m bone tired. Don’t nag me, or I’ll really get ticked off.”
Hannah’s heart thundered in her chest. Who was this hateful-sounding person standing in front o
f her? Zack had never uttered a cross word to her from the day he’d met her.
“Ticked off? Is that what you said? Do you want to see ticked off, Zack? Let me show you ticked off.” Before Zack could blink, the pressure cooker was unlocked and the contents dumped on the floor. The Razzleberry pie skidded across the floor. “Now, that’s ticked off, Doctor.” Before he could blink a second time, Hannah had her jacket on and her car keys in her hand. “I’m leaving, and I’m not coming back. You don’t need a wife, all you need is a housekeeper or that other woman you’re seeing. Don’t think I don’t know all about that!” She slammed the door so hard the panes of glass rattled in their frames.
Zack stared at the door in stupefied amazement. His wife had just walked out on him. He looked at the mess on the floor. The stew looked delicious, the Razzleberry pie, scrumptious. He really should clean it up. He really should. Instead, he called Joel on his cell phone. He relayed the events as they had transpired. “What the hell was she talking about, Joel? What other woman?”
“She’s probably on her way to our house. The tension was so high when I got home I could have sliced it with a knife. I feel like a stranger in my own house. I can talk to her if you want me to. What do you suppose she wanted to tell you that was important? Hey, maybe she’s pregnant! Did you think of that?” Joel asked.
“No, I don’t want you to talk to my wife. Hannah’s version of something important to talk about is far different from what I would think is important. Trust me on that, and no, she isn’t pregnant.”
Family Blessings (Cisco Family) Page 7