“How do you know? You’re just the husband. The husband is always the last to know. Don’t you know anything about women, Zack? This whole thing just isn’t right. You love her, I know you do, and she loves you. Stop being such a jerk. Go find her and tell her about the boat and get it over with. I’ll tell Sara. The hell with the certificates. Are you seeing another woman?” Joel asked, his voice ringing with suspicion.
“I am not being a jerk. Obviously, I don’t know half as much as you know about women. I’m going to bed now because I’m tired, and I don’t want to clean up this mess. And no, I’m not seeing another woman. When in the hell would I have the time to have an affair?”
“Tomorrow that mess will be twice as hard to clean up because it will be dry. I’d clean it up now, Zack. It’s not like you have anything else to do at the moment.” The only response Joel got was the sound of a dial tone in his ear.
Zack looked again at the mess his wife had created. He groaned as he set about cleaning it up. Two rolls of paper towels later, he was ready for the mop-and-bucket brigade. When the floor sparkled underneath his feet, he washed the dishes and put them away. The kitchen looked clean and empty. Like a room in someone else’s house. Suddenly, he felt choked up.
As he made his way through the house, he realized he hadn’t taken his jacket off. Hannah’s hand-knitted scarf, the first one she’d ever made for him, was still around his neck. He removed it and held it to his lips. It felt warm and soft, like Hannah herself.
Zack stripped down, donned his pajamas, brushed his teeth, and crawled into bed, the scarf clutched in his hands. He bunched it into a ball and brought it to his cheek. It felt like a warm caress.
Sometimes life just wasn’t fair.
Chapter Six
SAM FELT LIKE A PROGRAMMED ROBOT AS HE PREPARED to leave the house. He finished his coffee, turned off the machine, emptied the Pyrex pot, checked the back door, and turned off the light. At the front door, he took his jacket off the coatrack, slapped his baseball cap on his head, opened the door, turned off the light, locked the door, and headed for his car. It was still dark out because it was five o’clock in the morning. If he’d managed to get an hour’s sleep, he’d consider himself lucky, he thought irritably as he made his way to the Rover.
He drove by rote, up one street, down the other, until he got to the secondary road that would take him to the new home of Cisco Candies. Travel time: sixteen minutes.
Sam unlocked the plate-glass doors at the entrance just as he felt a presence behind him. He whirled around. “Dad!”
“You’re early this morning, Sam. Glad you’re back. How was New York?” Jonathan Cisco asked cheerfully.
Sam grimaced. How could anyone be so cheerful so early in the morning? “Just the way it was the last time I was there. Aren’t you early, too?”
“Actually, I’m late this morning. I’ve been coming in at around three-thirty to catch up on things before I head off to help the others with the rebuilding that’s going on. You wouldn’t believe how much there is to do for those poor people.
“Listen, now that you’re here, do you think you could maybe double up and take over some of my orders? I hate to let the townspeople down. We still have two more houses to go, and the weather isn’t supposed to be that good the rest of the week. I have to tell you, Sam, I think I finally found my true calling. I love what I’m doing. I love working with my hands, love watching the homeowners come out to see the progress we’re making. Would you listen to me? I didn’t mean to bend your ear so early in the morning. Is something wrong, son? You look terrible.”
Sam ignored the question as he headed for the compact kitchen, where he started to make coffee. “What does that mean, Dad, that you found your ‘true calling’?”
Jonathan Cisco stared at his son for a full minute. “I don’t think it’s any secret that I never really wanted to go into the candy business. It was expected of me. I did it because I had to have a steady job, what with a set of triplets and a wife to support. I always wanted to make furniture. Work with my hands. Mom thought…there just wasn’t enough money in the furniture business back then. You do what you have to do when you have responsibilities. That kind of thing. What’s wrong, son?”
Sam sat down on a stool and looked up at his father. Again, he ignored the question. “Do you remember Billy Rutherford, Dad?”
Jonathan laughed. “Your shadow? Of course I remember him.
“When you weren’t eating and sleeping at his house, he was eating and sleeping at our house. You two were inseparable. How strange that you should ask. He was here last week with his wife helping out. He lives in Johnstown now. That guy worked nonstop for two solid days. He likes working with his hands, too. He’s an engineer. His wife is pregnant. Pretty little thing. Your grandmother gave her some recipes. Seems she likes to cook. You should look him up. He asked about you, Sam.”
Sam digested the information before he spoke. He watched as his father poured coffee into two Styrofoam cups. “After Mom died, Billy never came around anymore. No one came around. It was just Hanny, Sara, and me.”
Jonathan sat down across from his son. His eyes were full of pain. “Your grandmother…we both…we were so fearful after Margie died. We wanted to keep you three close. We put you in private school, and by the time you got home…look, Sam, it’s a long story. You had each other. I told Mom it wasn’t a good idea, that you three needed outside interests, but she said she knew best. I was so full of grief those first few years I didn’t argue. All I wanted was for all of you to be safe and together because that’s what I thought Margie would want. You used to cry, Sam. So did Hannah and Sara. Eventually, I guess you gave up, knowing things weren’t going to change.
“I think you need to tell me what’s wrong, Sam.”
Sam told him, watching his father carefully as the words spilled from his lips. When he finally wound down, he said, “This is between us, Dad.”
“Of course. It looks and sounds like you think your grandmother and I made a mess of things. There wasn’t a book to go by, Sam, back then. We did what we thought was best. Obviously, you think we were mistaken. Are you sure Hannah is all right? I can’t conceive of Zack or Joel having an affair. I’m sure she’s imagining it.”
“Hannah doesn’t think she’s imagining it. Other than the fact that she’s made herself miserable, she’s fine. I stepped over the line with both Hannah and Sara last night. I have to distance myself from them emotionally. I know I have to do it to survive. Remember how you used to call us a triangle?”
Jonathan smiled, his eye on the clock hanging over the stove. “What are you going to do about Sonia, son?”
“Cisco always says when you don’t know what to do about something you should do nothing. I don’t know. I feel like she snookered me to get what she wanted.”
“Sam, Sam, Sam. Did it ever occur to you that maybe something went awry with your…ah…birth control measures. Nothing is foolproof. It’s possible. Perhaps something like that did occur, and Sonia, knowing you as well as she does, knew you’d react just the way you are, so she left rather than face you. I’m not saying that happened. I’m saying it’s a possibility. You should give it some thought.”
Sam glared at his father. That, he would digest later. His voice was sad when he said, “You and Cisco took away our independence and made us dependent on one another. Didn’t either one of you see what you were doing? The three of us are emotional cripples. I needed a friend last night. I needed a friend so bad I could have bawled my eyes out. I know Hanny and Sara feel the same way. What are we supposed to do, Dad? Tell me.”
Jonathan looked at the pain in his son’s eyes. “Cut yourself loose. Work out your problem with your wife. Don’t listen to anyone but yourself, son. That’s the first step. It’s going to be hard. I’m so sorry, Sam. We just weren’t emotionally equipped to deal with the death of your mother. It’s the best defense I can come up with. Perhaps talking with a counselor will help. You can always come to me
to talk. Listen, we stop work on the houses at around seven. Would you like to get a bite to eat?”
“Sure, Dad. How about Chinese at Sum Sun.”
“Sounds good, Sam. I’ll meet you there at eight o’clock. You sure you don’t mind taking over my job here?”
“Nah. Working will keep me busy. Less time to think. I’ll see you tonight, Dad.”
“I’ll look forward to it, son.”
Sam sat in the small kitchen for a long time after his father left. He didn’t know if he felt better or worse after their talk. He was on his second cup of coffee when he looked up to see Hannah standing in the doorway. Her eyes were red, her hair mussed, and she looked like she was wearing the same khaki slacks and brown sweater she’d had on the night before. He nodded curtly. “Aren’t you a little early?”
“It’s hard to sleep in the backseat of your car in the A&P parking lot. I figured I might as well come to work. Why are you so early?”
This was where he was supposed to ask his sister why she’d slept in her car in the A&P parking lot. Well, he really didn’t care. Obviously, she’d had a fight with Zack. “I couldn’t sleep either. Dad was here earlier, and we had coffee together. If you want coffee, you’ll have to make some more. See ya.” Without another word, Sam walked out of the kitchen and down the hall to his office. He had a lot of work, but he also had a lot of thinking to do.
A lot.
Sam kept himself busy, but at nine o’clock it was as if a silent bell rang telling him the time. He picked up the phone and dialed the Information operator in Johnstown to ask for the telephone number of William Rutherford. The operator gave him two numbers, one for Rutherford Engineering and another number for his home address. Sam copied down the numbers and ripped the sheet of paper off the sticky pad. He could feel his heart beating trip-hammer fast. He clutched at the Post-it as if it were a lifeline.
Three minutes later, Sam was announcing himself to the switchboard operator. A booming voice came over the line. Sam grinned from ear to ear. “Yeah, Billy, it’s me! Damn, I’m sorry I missed you. Dad told me you were here this past weekend. Can we get together? I can come up there, or, if you want, you can come here. It’s an either/or for me.”
“I need to stay home this weekend. Jeez, it’s good to talk to you, Sam. We had some fun times when we were kids, didn’t we?”
“Yeah, Billy, we did. Look, I’m sorry…”
“Sam, I understand. As a kid, I didn’t, but that was then, and this is now. Why don’t you come and visit this weekend. We can talk it through then. By the way, your old man is a slave driver. That’s a good thing. I was really bushed after last weekend. I don’t mean to cut you short, buddy, but I have a meeting I have to go to. So, we’re on for this weekend, right?”
“Yeah. We’re on. See you Saturday, Billy.”
Sam’s fist shot in the air the moment he hung up the phone. Now, if he could just find Sonia, maybe his life would level off. He looked up to see Hannah standing in the doorway. “What?” he barked.
“I wanted to talk to you about something, Sam. Sara just pulled into the parking lot. Can we go into the conference room for a few minutes? Please.”
Sam stared at his sister. She looked terrible. His heart softened. “Sure.”
“Thanks, Sam. I know you’re busy, and I appreciate it. I’ll probably be working through the night myself to catch up. Sara, too. I think that might be a good thing. You know, less time to think and be miserable.”
Sam let the comment go unanswered. He was thinking about Sonia, wondering where she was. Was it possible Sara and Hanny knew where she was and were keeping it a secret?
As Sam stomped his way down the hallway, he was stunned at his attitude in regard to just about everything in his life. He likened it to having lived under a dark umbrella, an umbrella he’d just closed to allow sunshine into his life. He thought maybe it was a corny analysis, something Hannah and Sara would laugh at should he confide in them. Like that’s really going to happen. He snorted.
“Did you say something, Sam?” Hannah asked.
“No.”
Sara, Sam thought, looked perky and put together so early in the morning in a pumpkin-colored pantsuit and matching blouse. She took one look at Hannah, and said, “What’s wrong?”
Hannah’s eyes filled as she recounted the evening’s events. “I left and slept in the car in the A&P parking lot.”
Sara reared back to better observe her disheveled sister. “That was a pretty stupid thing to do, Hanny. Don’t you agree, Sam?”
Sam shrugged. He was getting real good, maybe too good, at distancing himself from his sisters and their opinions. Sara shot him a puzzled look. He shrugged again.
“If that’s all that’s bothering you, I have to get back to work. That little sojourn to New York put me behind. We have a million Christmas orders to fill, and Dad asked me to cover for him.” He was on his feet and halfway out the door when Hannah grabbed his arm.
“Wait just a damn minute, Sam. I don’t much care for your attitude right now. What’s your problem?”
Sam jammed his hands on his hips and glared at his sisters. “My problem is us. You, Sara, and me. That’s my problem. Do you two know where Sonia is? I’m only going to ask you once. If you know, and you don’t tell me, and I find out later that you’ve known all along, I will never, ever, forgive or speak to you again. Are we clear on that? Think carefully before you answer me.”
Sara shuffled her feet, and Hannah looked everywhere but at Sam.
This, Sam knew by the fierce look on his sisters’ faces, was one of those times where one or the other of them was going to throw a punch. He jammed his hands in his pockets, a clear sign that he didn’t want any part of whatever they were contemplating. He turned, stalked his way to his office, and slammed the door. Knowing his sisters the way he did, he turned around and locked the door, then closed the vertical blind. His eyes burned, and his shoulders shook as he sat down in his swivel chair.
He’d just taken the first step on his road to independence.
Back in the conference room Sara and Hannah looked at each other in openmouthed amazement. “What is his problem other than Sonia?” Sara asked.
“Isn’t that enough?” Hannah snapped.
“Why didn’t you come to my house last night? Or Sam’s? You could have gone to Ezra’s house, too. What’s going on, Hannah? By the way, you look awful.”
Hannah perched on the end of the conference room table and looked around. She’d decorated the room and was proud of it. Buyers always complimented the serenity of the room. It was just another way of saying they appreciated that Cisco Enterprises didn’t do a hard sell.
All the old pictures from the New York factory had been cleaned, reframed, and now hung in chronological order, starting with Cisco’s first batch of candy made in her kitchen right up through the ground breaking for the new building and the final picture of Cisco entering the new building the day it was completed.
A decorative fish tank with tropical fish swimming lazily added to the calmness of the room. The soft mint green drapes and matching carpet muted any and all sounds. A huge ficus tree underneath the skylight was tall and stately, as was the banana tree Sam had insisted on parking in one of the free corners.
The table and all twelve chairs were solid oak with yellow cushions. Along with a fresh bouquet of yellow flowers that always sat in the center of the long table, the yellow cushions were her way of bringing sunshine into the room. That day’s flowers were glorious, yellow and white spider mums that were big as grapefruits.
“Well,” Sara prodded.
Hannah licked her lips. “I didn’t think it was going to be like this. I’m more convinced than ever that Zack is having an affair. I all but accused him of it, and he didn’t deny it. He said he was too tired to eat dinner last night. He was probably with her and they had…food and…sex. Why would he want my stew and Razzleberry pie? I dumped it all on the floor for him to clean up. I just blasted out of ther
e, huffing and puffing like some deranged person. I’m not proud of it, Sara. Now I don’t know what to do.”
Sara fiddled with her wedding ring as she watched her sister. Normally, she would have walked over to Hanny and wrapped her arms around her. For some reason, she fought the impulse to comfort her sister. The rules seemed to have changed overnight, thanks to Sam. Now, like Hanny, she didn’t know what to do.
“Cisco always said when you don’t know what to do, do nothing.”
Hannah bit down on her clenched fist. “What does that mean, Sara, do nothing? Does it mean don’t go home? Go to a motel? What?”
Sara shrugged. “I really have to get back to work, Hannah. I’m behind on my work with the trip and all.”
“Oh, so you’re saying I screwed everything up. Go ahead, blame me. Everyone always blames me for everything anyway.”
“That’s not what I said. I said we’re all behind because we took two days off. We never caught up from the week Cisco closed the factory. I didn’t blame you for anything. I want to get caught up. I don’t want someone else to do my work. How hard is that to understand? We get a paycheck from Cisco Candies every week. I like to earn mine. By the way, do you know where Sonia is?”
“No. If I had to take a guess, I’d say she’s at the Allegheny Inn. I’m keeping my nose out of Sam’s business. He’s like some wild hare these days.”
Sara threw her hands in the air. “See you later.”
Hannah sat alone when the door closed behind her sister. She couldn’t ever remember being so miserable. She hopped off the table and walked over to the fish tank. Her index finger traced one of the rare colorful fish as it swam one way, then the other. How calm and peaceful they were. No cares. No worries. Did fish even care? Probably not. Suddenly she longed for Freddie, Cisco’s loyal, loving golden retriever. Freddie was so warm and comforting. But these days Freddie had a new friend in Hugo. Damn, nothing was working out right. Nothing.
Family Blessings (Cisco Family) Page 8