Hannah sprinkled fish food into the tank before she turned off the lights and closed the door to the conference room.
Today was supposed to be a wonderful, bright new day. Instead, it was a gray day filled with guilt and doubt. And it was all her own doing.
Her shoulders squared, her head high, Hannah marched down the hall to her office. She’d decorated that room, too. She’d painted the walls yellow, her favorite color. Luscious green plants that she tended lovingly were healthy and vibrant. The wall directly in her line of vision held hundreds of framed photographs of her siblings, Cisco, her father, and, of course, Freddie. There was one picture of Zack standing under the sycamore holding a pumpkin he’d carved. The first pumpkin he’d ever carved, he’d said. That was it, one picture of Zack. Later she would think about that.
Hannah hunkered down and accomplished in three hours what it would have taken another employee a full day to do. When she was satisfied that she could indeed catch up in the afternoon and into the evening, if she wanted, she reached for her jacket and left the office. She was going home to shower and change and head for the hospital to talk to Zack. If she had to, she would wait all day until he appeared. She couldn’t live like this one more day.
Settling things was her mission now.
Chapter Seven
LORETTA CISCO STEPPED OUT OF THE ELEVATOR OF Larkspur Community Hospital and stood for a moment to view the lobby. For some reason she hadn’t paid attention to the decor when she’d arrived an hour earlier. At that point she’d been excited because she was going to be able to tell Bertha Williamson she could move into her new house the minute she got out of the hospital. Bertha had cried buckets, soaking her shoulder cast, her old hands trembling as she stared at Cisco through her tears. That particular moment made the tragedy almost bearable.
Cisco looked now with appreciation at the decorations in the lobby, compliments of the fifth-grade class of Larkspur Elementary School. Turkeys and Pilgrims were everywhere, as were colorful bronze, gold, and bright red leaves. The windows had been painted with scenes from Plymouth, amateurish but still beautiful. Oh, to be that young again.
As Cisco made her way to the plate-glass doors, she noticed a forlorn figure huddled in one of the blue chairs near the small café manned by volunteers. The young woman had a pile of knitting in her lap.
Cisco trundled over to the young woman. “Hannah! What are you doing here?”
Hannah looked up, a stunned expression on her face. “Cisco!”
We could be a comedy team, Cisco thought. “Is something wrong? What are you doing here, honey?”
“Oh, no. No, nothing’s wrong. I’m waiting for Zack. Did you come to visit someone, Cisco?”
“Bertha Williamson. I wanted to be the first one to tell her she could move into her house the day she gets out of here. Which will be in a few days. Father Drupieski took it upon himself to gather together a small army to help Bertha around the clock until she’s ready to take over herself. Everything is working out so nicely. I had my doubts there for a little while. Is Zack off today, or is he making rounds?” She looks so…miserable. Even the makeup she rarely wears doesn’t look right. She’s lost some weight, too. “Hannah, honey, is something wrong?”
“What could be wrong, Cisco? No. You know me. No patience. Zack has no sense of time,” she finished lamely. Her head jerked upright. “Aren’t the Thanksgiving decorations precious? One of the volunteers told me the fifth-grade class painted them over the weekend. Way back when, Sam, Sara, and I wanted to be part of it, but that private school we were in didn’t do stuff like this. Everyone who enters the lobby smiles. Did you ever see so many turkeys in one place?”
She’s babbling, and she’s so brittle she’s about to snap in two, Cisco thought. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Ezra at the front entrance in his brand-new pickup truck. “I haven’t seen much of you lately, Hannah. I wish you, Sam, and Sara would stop by. It gets lonely up there on the hill in Ezra’s plate-glass home. They tell me I can move into my own house over the weekend. I want to make Thanksgiving dinner in my own home. I hope I can get used to a new stove.” Now she was babbling, just like Hannah. She could hear the knitting needles clicking, and even from where she was standing she could see the mess her granddaughter was making with the yarn. She wondered what she was making.
“Sure, no problem; I’ll stop by, Cisco.”
This was where Hannah was supposed to jump up and hug her, but she didn’t. Her eyes were on the elevator. Cisco frowned as she walked closer and bent down to kiss Hannah’s cheek. “I’ll look forward to your visit. I miss you all.”
Hannah tore her gaze away from the elevator. “What did you say, Cisco?”
“Nothing. I guess I’ll see you when I see you. Tell Zack I said hello.”
“Yes. Yes, I’ll tell him.”
Still no hug. Cisco’s shoulders slumped. What in the world was wrong with this granddaughter of hers? Whatever it was, it was spreading like a virus. Sam was in some kind of a, what the young people today called, funk, and Sara was much too quiet and serious—totally unlike her usual upbeat self.
When Cisco reached the door she took a last look at her granddaughter. Hannah’s knitting needles were clicking furiously, but her gaze was still on the elevator. Something was definitely wrong. For the first time in her life, Cisco felt lost. The Trips had always come to her in the past when there was a problem. Always.
Cisco’s eyes burned as she stepped out into the biting November air. Ezra appeared and held her elbow as she climbed into his new Ford Ranger.
Ezra eyed the woman he loved so dearly, correctly interpreting the expression on her face. “Whatever it is, Loretta, we’ll talk about it and make it right.”
Cisco reached for Ezra’s hand and squeezed it. She nodded because if she tried to speak, she knew she’d start to cry.
Inside the hospital, Hannah looked up when she saw a blur of white coming toward her. Alice, Zack’s nurse, and her father’s significant other. She felt herself cringe, then she stiffened. She struggled to smile. “Hello, Alice, what brings you down here? I thought you went off duty at three o’clock.”
“Today I have to work till six. I came in three hours late because I had to get a bone density test and my yearly mammogram. Are you waiting for someone, Hannah?”
“Yes, my husband. Is he in surgery?”
Alice smiled brightly. “Actually, he just got out of surgery. Right now he’s sitting in his office twiddling his thumbs. He asked me to come down for some fresh coffee and a pastry. He likes that afternoon sugar high. Does he know you’re here?”
“Well…actually, no. I was…I was thinking of…surprising him. I’m caught up at the factory, so I thought…”
Alice winked like they were conspirators. “I can let him know you’re here, Hannah, or you can go up. There aren’t any more patients scheduled for today. He’s been a bit of a bear lately, but I guess you know that. I’m thinking of cutting back on my own hours. I should have retired a year ago, but Dr. Kelly needed me back then. Now, he spends most of his time going over his cases with the team of doctors taking over his practice for when he leaves in January. But then you know all about that, too. We are certainly going to miss him and Dr. Wineberg when they go next year. I’m sure their patients are going to miss them just as much. They’re both such excellent, caring doctors. I really need to get a move on. Dr. Kelly can get rambunctious when his orders aren’t followed. It was nice to see you, Hannah.”
Hannah watched as the nurse entered the coffee shop. For one intense moment, she thought she was going to black out. Her stomach started to roil, her head pounded, and her heart felt like it was going to leap right out of her chest. She had to pull herself together. She took great, gulping breaths in order to try and calm down. When Alice exited the coffee shop, Hannah stood up, pasting a sickly smile on her face. “Listen, Alice, don’t tell Zack I’m here. I just had a brilliant idea, and I’m going to act on it. There are other ways to su
rprise one’s husband. Promise?”
Alice winked. “Promise.”
Hannah waited until the elevator closed behind the nurse before she bolted from the hospital lobby and out to her car. Inside, with the engine and heater running, she started to shake. She clamped her trembling hands over her ears as she tried to drown out the nurse’s words that had so rocked her world. What did it all mean?
Zack and Joel were leaving in January! Why? Did Zack and Joel plan to sell their practices and not tell her and Sara? Where was he going in January? Hannah’s stomach heaved when she realized January was just five and a half weeks away. When was he going to tell her? Was he ever going to tell her? Was this the first step in a plan to leave her? To divorce her? How could the world as she knew it fall apart so quickly? Was he going somewhere with another woman? Did he just plan on walking out on her with no explanation? She wondered who else knew about her husband’s plans. Alice seemed to think she knew all about it.
A sound of pure agony escaped her lips. Somehow, some way, this had to be all her fault.
Tears rolled down Hannah’s cheeks as she slipped the car into gear. She drove aimlessly, through neighborhoods she didn’t recognize. Should she go home? Or should she go back to the office? She needed to talk to someone. For the first time in her life she didn’t want to share her misery with Sam or Sara. She should tell Sara, but she knew she’d never be able to get the words past her lips. Why is that? she wondered. Like Sam, she suddenly longed for a best friend.
Dad. Maybe she could talk to her father. A man’s perspective. Then there was Ezra. What she should do, what she’d always done when something overwhelmed her, was go to Cisco. That probably wasn’t a good idea. Cisco was consumed with business in the valley and getting ready to move into her new house. If she went to Cisco, Cisco would smother her with love, and she would comfort her, but there would be no answers. The answers would have to come from inside herself. Damn, here I am worrying about answers, and I don’t even know the question.
Hannah was suddenly aware of the snow flurries hitting the windshield. It hadn’t snowed in the valley in November for a long time, years actually. The next thing she realized she was on the secondary road that led to where the construction was going on. She drove slowly, her eyes searching for her father’s car. I should have brought coffee or something, she thought, when she saw his car parked on the side of the road. She saw him then, a hard hat on his head and a stack of two-by-fours on his shoulder. She hopped out of the car and ran toward him. “Hey, Dad, you got a minute?”
Jonathan Cisco turned to look at his daughter. He smiled. “What brings you out here, Hanny? I have a minute, but let me get these two-by-fours to Henry. It’s snowing, as you can see. Bad weather means we’re going to continue working around the clock. Your grandmother wants everyone in their new houses by Thanksgiving. Wait for me in your car, where it’s warm.”
Hanny made her way back to the car and turned on the engine. She flicked the heater to seventy and waited. What was she going to say? How should she say it? Should she just blurt everything out? Maybe she shouldn’t say anything. Was she so stupid she couldn’t solve her own problems? Why did she need to talk everything to death? Because it’s always been like that, she answered herself.
Minutes later, Jonathan opened the door and removed his hard hat. “You didn’t tell me, what brings you out to the valley, baby? You look…worried. Did you lose weight, Hanny?”
Hanny threw herself at her father. Clumsily, he wrapped his arms around her. “What is it? Are you sick? Did something happen to Sam or Sara? Mom was out here earlier, so I know she’s all right. What is it, Hanny? Come on, share,” he cajoled.
Hannah moved back to her side of the car. “Do I look stupid to you, Dad?”
Jonathan threw back his head and laughed. “Not one little bit. What’s this all about? Make it quick, I have to get back to work.”
Hannah told him. “I don’t know what to do, Dad.”
Jonathan watched the swirling snow slapping against the windshield. “I don’t see Zack or Joel as shallow men resorting to tawdry affairs. Their reputations could be permanently damaged. As to their respective practices, I don’t know what to tell you. You have to talk to your husband, Hanny. There can’t be secrets in a marriage. I told you that the day of your wedding. That was a promise your mother and I made to one another the day we got married. The other promise she insisted on was that we would never go to bed angry with each other. I can’t make this right for you. All I can do is listen. Would you look at that snow! I hope it doesn’t stick. I’m sorry, Hanny, the men are waiting for me. Perhaps you should talk to Sam and Sara.” He reached for the door handle.
Hannah’s hand snaked out. “Wait, Dad. I was hoping…I thought…maybe you could talk to Alice. You know, see what you can find out for me.”
Jonathan whirled around. “You want me to do your dirty work, is that it, Hannah? You’re talking to the wrong person. This is your problem. I will not sneak around and spy for you because you lack the courage to confront Zack yourself. I really think you underestimate your husband, and for that I am truly sorry. I’m sorry, but I have to go. The people over there,” he said, pointing to the construction site, “are waiting for me. They’re depending on me. I made a promise to see this through. We all know how important promises are, don’t we, Hanny?”
Hannah watched her father walk through the squalling snow. “Well, I guess he told me,” she muttered to herself. “And he told me with gusto!”
Hannah turned her car around and drove back the way she had come, her thoughts chaotic. She headed back to the office. Her father was so right. And now what? I can sleep on the cot in the little efficiency apartment Cisco had built for late nights. The bathroom had a shower that was used only by family members. It would be the ideal place for her to hang out until she figured out what to do. If she was careful, no one would ever know she was staying at the factory. Just the thought of going home knowing what she now knew made her cringe. Staying at Cisco Candies was the perfect solution for the moment.
A U-turn was called for, and Hannah made it. She drove home, packed a bag, and put it in the trunk of the car. As she drove back to Cisco Candies she couldn’t ever remember being so unhappy. “Oh, God, Mom, I wish you were here,” she whispered over and over.
Sam worked steadily until seven o’clock, when he shut off his computer, put on his coat, and closed his office door. The building was exceptionally quiet. Sara’s office was dark. Only in Hannah’s office did lights glow. He yelled, “Good night,” and continued down the hall. If his sister answered him, he didn’t hear her. He shrugged as he left the building, comfortable knowing that the nighttime security system would click into place automatically.
He was glad to see that the light snow that had fallen earlier had stopped. The wind was strong, though, pushing him toward his four-by-four. He wondered what the next day’s weather was supposed to be.
Sam’s thoughts were still on Sonia and the fact that he was going to become a father. The same thoughts that had been with him all day as he made his way home to shower and shave. He was actually looking forward to having dinner with his dad. He couldn’t wait to tell him about Billy Rutherford and their weekend get-together. He shivered with cold, and anticipation.
His house was dark when he pulled into the driveway. He knew it would be, but it still bothered him. He really needed to think about getting a dog. The thought was so ridiculous, he snorted. If he couldn’t hang on to a wife, what made him think he could hold on to a dog. The next morning, when he left for the office, he’d leave lights on to avoid coming home to a dark house. Somewhere inside, probably the garage, he had some timers he could set. It was a bogus solution to his problem, and he knew it.
There were no messages on his voice mail. Even the telemarketers were leaving him alone.
It took Sam twenty-five minutes to shower and shave. He dressed in dark brown corduroys and a hunter green turtleneck Sonia had given him the
previous Christmas. When he reached the front door for his down jacket, he yanked the scarf that was stuck in the sleeve and threw it on the window seat. It was a bright red muffler made by Hanny, with holes every inch or so. When he’d asked his sister what the holes were for, she’d yanked the scarf back and sewn big buttons over the holes. Hannah needed to find a different pastime.
Sum Sun, the town’s most popular eatery, was centrally located. Sam loved it because of the privacy it afforded. Mr. Sum believed in green plants and partitions, along with oriental paintings and statues that guaranteed that privacy. You could be sitting right behind your neighbor and never know it. He and Sonia used to eat there at least once a week. He knew for a fact that Sara and Hanny ate there regularly. So did Cisco.
Mr. Sum’s youngest daughter, Aiko, smiled at him. Sam noticed one of her textbooks open on the desk. “Your usual table, Mr. Sam? Will anyone be joining you this evening?”
“The usual table is fine. My father will be joining me.”
“Would you like some tea, or would you prefer a drink, Mr. Sam?”
“Tea’s good, Aiko. How’s school?”
“The social side or the academic side?” Aiko twinkled.
“Both.”
“I am on an even keel. Everything is fine, Mr. Sam. I’m on the Dean’s List this semester. Papa Sum is very proud of me.”
Sam smiled. “And well he should be.”
“Simi will bring your tea. Will your father wish tea also?”
“Yes. Tomorrow is a workday, so it’s tea for us.”
Sam leaned back in the bright red leather booth and looked around. He liked all things oriental. The silk tapestries on the wall intrigued him. The black lacquer furnishings were pleasing to the eye. Sonia said Sum Sun’s was the cleanest restaurant she’d ever eaten in.
At this time of evening he knew the restaurant was full, but he was hard-pressed to see or hear the customers, thanks to Mr. Sum’s wife’s decorating skill.
Family Blessings (Cisco Family) Page 9