Uncle John’s Presents Mom’s Bathtub Reader

by Bathroom Readers' Institute

  With interviews in magazines and newspapers and after being featured on NBC and MSNBC as an everyday hero, Charity is getting her message out. There are children in desperate need of parenting, and foster parenting is the toughest job you’ll ever love.

  “The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness.”

  —Honore de Balzac

  “Mothers are the most instinctive philosophers.”

  —Harriet Beecher Stowe

  “I find, by close observation, that the mothers are the levers which move in education. The men talk about it, but the women work most for it.”

  —Frances Watkins Harper

  “It is not what you do for your children but what you have taught them to do for themselves that will make them successful human beings.” —Ann Landers

  Are You What Mom Ate?

  Laboratory mice are proving that what a pregnant mom puts through her lips may wind up on your hips.

  What makes a brown mouse brown and a yellow mouse yellow? Does it have to do with the color of the mama mouse’s fur? Or the color of the papa mouse’s fur? Well . . . not exactly. When biologists at Duke University Medical Center began adding vitamin supplements to the diets of pregnant yellow mice, the vitamins changed the fur color of the babies!

  WERE THEY ALL YELLOW?

  The scientists fed yellow mother mice vitamin B12, folic acid, choline, and betaine before and during their pregnancies. These mothers gave birth to offspring with brown fur. Not so for yellow mother mice that ate a normal diet with no added vitamins—their babies were yellow. Yet both the pregnant mice and their litters were the same genetically. The only difference between the litters was that some mice had moms who ate vitamins and some did not.

  What happened? How could baby mice with the same exact set of genes look so very different? Could diet alone produce such a colorful difference? Scientists have long known that even if a gene is present in the body, it may not have much effect. Everyone inherits two sets of genes—one from each parent. Usually one set of genes is dominant (active) and one set is recessive (inactive). That’s why two brown-eyed parents can have a child with blue eyes. Both mom and dad had blue-eye genes that they passed on and that became active in their offspring.

  WHAT A TURNOFF!

  In these experiments, scientists worked with a strain of mice that have an extra piece of DNA in their agouti gene. This deviation makes them obese and yellow. When this gene is active, it turns their fur yellow. When the agouti gene is turned off or silenced, i.e., when it isn’t having an effect on the mouse’s body, their fur should be brown. When those mama mice at Duke took their vitamins, chemicals in the vitamin supplements turned off the expression of the agouti gene.

  Inside the vitamin-supplemented mama mice, molecules containing carbon and hydrogen became attached to the gene and switched it off—a process called DNA methylation. Basically what that process did was cause the fat, yellow mother mice to produce slim, brown babies.

  The agouti gene doesn’t only change fur color in mice, it also impacts health. This gene plays a role in controlling brain signals for appetite. Mice with a highly active agouti gene tend to eat more and get . . . well . . . fat. Turning off the agouti gene produced brown mice that ate less, were not obese, and were also less susceptible to diabetes and cancer than their fair-furred brethren.

  TAKING CARE OF MOM

  So what does this mean to human moms? More studies will have to be done on human DNA methylation (just pronouncing it is hard enough!). But many studies have already shown that pregnant women who eat a poor diet have children who are more susceptible to diabetes and heart disease. Those brown baby mice at Duke suggest that human genes—like those in mice—are being influenced by prenatal nutrition and chemicals.

  Looks like what a pregnant mom eats and the vitamins she takes can have a permanent influence on the physical characteristics and the health of her baby—and maybe even her grandchildren! So when a pregnant lady says she’s eating for two, she’s not kidding. The only other question is—what do all those cravings for ice cream and pickles mean?

  “A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie.” —Tenneva Jordan

  “My mother was a good recreational cook, but what she basically believed about cooking was that if you worked hard and prospered, someone else would do it for you.” —Nora Ephron

  “When my mother had to get dinner for 8 she’d just make enough for 16 and only serve half.” —Gracie Allen

  Snugl Up!

  Ann Moore made the world better for babies with a lesson she learned from African mothers.

  In the 1960s, newlyweds Ann and Mike Moore went to Togo in West Africa as Peace Corps volunteers. Ann was a pediatric nurse who had taught at Columbia University and worked with refugees in East Germany and earthquake victims in Morocco. Well-educated and experienced, she was eager to share her information and expertise with mothers from a developing, poverty-stricken nation.

  OUT OF AFRICA

  While Ann fulfilled her assignment teaching nutrition classes in Togo, she was surprised to find that Africans could teach the industrialized world a thing or two when it came to raising children. African children and their mothers had a closer bond than most mothers and children did back in America.

  Ann knew that back in the States when a sick child had to go to the hospital, mother and child were separated and the medical staff took over, leaving the traumatized child alone with strangers. In Africa, mothers stayed at the hospital to be with their sick babies. Ann saw how comforting it was for suffering children to be able to rely on the presence of their mothers. She saw that the closeness between mother and baby was of benefit to both.

  Outside the hospital Ann saw more of African mothers and babies practicing togetherness. What most impressed Ann was the African mothers’ custom of carrying their babies in fabric slings tied to their backs. Togo babies rarely cried and seemed remarkably contented compared to Western infants. Moore came to the conclusion that the babies were calm because being so close to their mothers made them feel secure.

  OOPS, IT’S NOT AS EASY AS IT LOOKS

  Soon after their Peace Corps assignment was over and Ann and Mike returned to the United States, their daughter was born. Wanting the very best for little Mande (Mande’s full name is Mandela, after South African freedom fighter Nelson Mandela) and remembering those contented Togo babies, Ann decided to carry her own daughter in a fabric sling. Unfortunately it wasn’t as easy as African mothers make it look. Mande kept slipping out of the sling.

  Luckily, Ann’s own mom was an excellent seamstress. She sewed a sling for her granddaughter according to Ann’s design. With Mande safely swaddled on her back, Ann (or Mike) could clean, cook, run errands, or enjoy a walk or bike ride while keeping Mande close, comfortable, and secure. The Moores’ baby carrier may have been based on ancient ideas, but it was totally new to Americans, and the soft carrier turned heads wherever they went.

  Some observers warned the Moores that they were spoiling their daughter by allowing her to be constantly close to them. Mike and Ann explained that making infants feel secure and loved helped create self-confident and independent children. Many loved the whole concept and wanted to know how to get a backpack of their own or for a gift. As they began to produce more and more baby carriers for envious mothers, Mike and Ann began to feel they had a mission and a business.

  AMERICA STARTS SNUGLING

  Soon Mande’s grandma was hiring friends to help her keep up with orders. Ann worked to improve the carrier with adjustable straps and a pouch to hold up the baby’s head. Many moms wanted to be able to carry their babies on their chests, so Ann adapted the carrier for “front loading.” By 1969 Ann had a patent on the Snugli carriers and by 1984 the company had sales of more than $6 million.

  Ann’s successful innovation and enterprise has brought her recognition—the Wall S
treet Journal named her one of the most influential inventors of the millennium. But Ann has been quick to stress that she adapted a centuries-old technique developed by African mothers. “There have been so many times that I’ve been thankful in my prayers to the African mothers,” Ann has said. “They were really our inspiration and it is so wonderful to think that we in America can have the same closeness with our babies.”

  The Moores sold their company in 1985, but in the late 1990s, when their grandchildren were born, Ann went back to the drawing table and devised another soft carrier called the Weego. Once again the Moores were in a booming baby business, but this time they had the help of their three grown daughters: Mande in charge of marketing, Hopi in charge of sales, and Nicole running purchasing. The Moores may also have a ready-made market, since many new moms and dads were, themselves, once contentedly viewing the world from inside a soft Snugli.

  Oh, Mama!

  There are even more songs named “Mama” than named “Mother.” We listened to them all because we love mama just that much. Here’s a sampling.

  “Mama” by Half Pint (album: Victory, 1987)

  What it sounds like: Standard-issue pop reggae vibe with Half Pint ladling out standard-issue praises to his single parent. He’s a good son, sure, but this is mediocre.

  Play for mama? Nah. Why settle for so-so reggae when Ziggy Marley & the Melody Makers have a song called “Mama,” which has more zest, vibe, and groove? It’s on the Joy and Blues album.

  “Mama” by Dream City Film Club (album: Dream City Film Club, 1997)

  What it sounds like: Music for a particularly morose scene from a David Lynch movie, with out-of-key guitars and accordions, and lyrics sung as if through a cardboard tube.

  Play for mama? If you do, mama will probably wonder what’s wrong with your head to make you think she’d enjoy this art-punk mishmash mess.

  “Mama” by Chubby Carrier & the Bayou Swamp Band (album: Boogie Woogie Zydeco, 1991)

  What it sounds like: Like you’re sitting on the porch of a Louisiana swamp shack, dipping your toes in the water and sucking the meat out of the head of a crayfish.

  Play for mama? Hoo-eeee! You bet! Clearly the most fun you can have with an accordion. Put it on and stomp merrily through the kitchen.

  “Mama” by the Spice Girls (album: Spice, 1997)

  What it sounds like: Pop drivel about how the various Spice Girls, like, totally hated their moms, but now they realize they only did good things for them! They love their mamas!

  Play for your mama? She probably won’t hate it. But if this sort of sugary, brainless pop appeals to your mom, maybe you could take her to the record store and broaden her horizons.

  “Mama” by Connie Francis (album: The Return Concert, 1996)

  What it sounds like: Big, sweeping orchestral, with just enough mandolin and ear-busting emoting from Francis to make a New Jersey mobster sob like a baby.

  Play for your mama? Of course you should. Especially if she’s from the old country, the “old country” understood to be either Italy or the 1950s.

  “Mama” by the Katinas (album: The Katinas, 1999)

  What it sounds like: Exactly what they are: a boy band proclaiming their love for their passed-on mother (all the Katinas are brothers), who now resides in heaven with Jesus.

  Play for your mama? If your mama loves boy bands and religious pop, sure.

  “Mama” by Max Roach (album: Percussion Bitter Sweet, 1961)

  What it sounds like: Like one of the best jazz percussionists whacking away merrily while a hot jazz combo swirls and pulses around him. Driving, mad beats and licks.

  Play for your mama? If your mama’s a cool cat who digs her jazz hot, daddy-o (snap, snap), you know it.

  “Mama” by Oingo Boingo (album: Boingo Alive: Celebration of a Decade 1979–1988, 1988)

  What it sounds like: Like the raving homeless guy you saw on the subway if only he had mucho musical ability and the belief that mama could save his soul.

  Play for your mama? Okay, but its claustrophobic and sinister feel will likely inspire mom to schedule a psychiatric examination for you afterward. Fair warning.

  “Mama” by Yo-Yo Ma, Edgar Meyer, and Mark O’Connor (album: Appalachia Waltz, 1996)

  What it sounds like: Like three of the best players of classical string instruments getting warmly down home right in your living room, sending notes ascending and descending through the entire house.

  Play for your mama? Yes, if she’s a classical buff and thought you’d never get past that whole “mullet rock” stage in your life. (You don’t have to get past it, you know. Just pretend.)

  “Mama” by the Sugarcubes (album: Life’s Too Good, 1988)

  What it sounds like: Several musical citizens of one of the coldest countries in the world (Iceland) going completely nuts, especially freakish pixie singer Björk. Yet, very tuneful.

  Play for your mama? For fans of angular, brainy pop and those moms with a quirky streak.

  Uncle John’s “Spiff” Notes

  Need a juicy read about the Hollywood lifestyle and its effects on a mother and daughter? Look no further than Carrie Fisher’s Postcards from the Edge, which tells the story of one woman’s struggles with being the daughter of a movie star mom. You’ll wonder if mom and daughter will ever work it out, but you won’t question how much these flawed characters really do love and need each other.

  The Gold(a) Standard

  She was Israel’s favorite mother—but that doesn’t mean the job was a cinch.

  In the 1970s, when the Israeli prime minister visited the United States, Washington’s hard-bitten journalists shot tough questions. Did the prime minister believe Israel could have peace with its neighbors? Would Israel employ nuclear weapons if its survival were in jeopardy? Then came the real stumper: what was the best way to make gefilte (stuffed) fish?

  Probably one of the few world leaders who could make a mean gefilte fish or chicken soup, Golda Meir was one of the first elected officials in the Western world who was also a mother and grandmother. She was proud of her maternal status (as well as her gefilte fish recipe), and her caring personality won international friends for her beleaguered nation. But while the world saw Golda as the ultimate devoted Jewish mother, the truth was that of all the problems this great prime minister ever faced—from the need to improve economic and employment conditions to a fight for her country’s life—the one problem she never felt she conquered was being a successful working mother.

  DEDICATION VS. KIDS

  Though she came to the United States when she was eight, Golda was born in 1898 in Kiev, Ukraine, which was part of Russia at that time. Her family was poor and Jewish—not the best combination in the Ukraine in those days—and Golda knew persecution firsthand. Encounters with anti-Semitism scared the young Golda, who remembered the Cossacks, mounted soldiers, riding through her village and persecuting Jewish people. Golda never forgot Kiev; she dedicated her life to building a Jewish homeland where her people would be safe from persecution. She got involved in the cause early and joined the Milwaukee Labor Zionist Party after earning her degree at the Milwaukee Normal School (now the University of Wisconsin–Milwaukee). She later married but continued to hope for a Zionist state in the Middle East.

  In 1921, Golda and her husband Morris emigrated from the United States to Palestine, where the British government had encouraged Jews to settle. Golda was thrilled to be a pioneer for a future Jewish nation, but the birth of two children, Menachem and Sarah, soon complicated things for their family. In Jerusalem at that time, conditions were primitive and jobs were almost nonexistent, so Golda took in laundry to try to make ends meet. The young mother hadn’t realized so much of her life with young children would be bound up in “poverty, worry, and drudgery.”

  GUILT! GUILT! GUILT!

  Finally, Golda found a job in Tel Aviv and wanted to move there with her two children. Not wanting to leave his job, Morris agreed to stay in Jerusalem and would visit the fam
ily on the weekends. Golda would be working as the secretary of the Women’s Labour Council, a political position that could lead to great things. Talented Golda was soon a rising political star, leading the nation-building that would become her life’s work.

  But Golda’s success came with the burden of guilt. Few women of her day worked outside the home. Morris criticized her time-consuming political work, as did her mother and sister. Golda herself worried that her children needed more mothering. She tried to solve the problem by working as energetically at cooking, cleaning, and raising her children as she did at her political work. But it some times seemed impossible to do both jobs well.

  MOM’S WILL OF IRON

  In 1932, motherhood finally forced Golda to leave Palestine and temporarily focus exclusively on her duties as a parent. Six-year-old Sarah was dying from a kidney disease. Once again Golda went against the advice of others. Her parents and the local doctors admonished her not to travel with Sarah to a hospital in New York. But Golda’s decision proved the right one and her daughter was cured.

  Golda worked as a fund-raiser in the United States to pay her daughter’s medical bills. Ironically, it was this experience that helped make her a great speaker and diplomat for the Israeli cause. And by the time Golda returned to Palestine, the cause seemed to her more important than ever; a German politician named Hitler wanted to remove the Jewish presence from Europe.