Behind the Badge

by Renee Harless

  Rushing up the stairs he chucked his clothes in the corner as he stood in the tiled shower, turning on the water to full blast. The scalding liquid eased his tired muscles and he rolled his shoulders as he turned to wash his hair. Preston wasn’t sure how long he stayed in the shower, but the room was filled with steam by the time he turned off the water and opened the glass door.

  Swiping his arm across the foggy mirror, Preston inspected his face, wondering if he had time to shave the scruff from his face. Wrapping the towel around his waist, he reached into his medicine cabinet for his razor just as a knock on his door sounded, quickly followed by yelping by Ace.

  Quickly he rushed down the stairs, afraid that Ace would have an accident on the floor in all the excitement. Opening the door, he welcomed Abel and Shelly inside. Ace immediately rushed out the door, Abel following closely behind as the puppy went to do his business. Preston turned to gesture for Shelly to enter the house, but she stared at him with large doe- caught –in-headlight eyes. Her gaze was transfixed on his chest, and as he gazed down, he remembered that he was still wearing only the small white towel around his waist.

  “Oops, sorry. I just got out of the shower. Come inside while I change. I’ll be right back down.”

  Shelly didn’t reply but stepped by him into the house, heading for the kitchen table where she sat still in a state of shock. He didn’t think he looked too bad naked. He made it a point to work out at least once a day, or twice just to kill time. A few scars weaved across his abdomen and a bullet wound scattered red markings across his right shoulder. Preston wondered if those are what surprised Shelly, scaring her farther away from him.

  As he tugged a clean T-shirt over his chest, Preston wondered why he even cared what she thought. He had made the mistake of kissing her earlier in the day, but he couldn’t have stopped if he had the strength of one thousand men. He was drawn to her by an invisible bind that he couldn’t break. But he needed to find a way to unravel the connection sooner rather than later. Shelly had made it clear that she didn’t want to pursue anything with him.

  Not that he offered, he thought to himself as he yanked on a pair of camouflage cargo shorts.

  Closing the drawer on his dresser, he glanced at the picture in a glass frame. He stood with his mother at one of Carson's lakes, where he liked to go fishing. It was something she despised but he loved it so she went with him anyway. She would do anything to make her only son happy. Because of the love and security he felt from her, Preston could understand Shelly’s hesitance to form relationships. But he also knew that his mother would love Shelly and Abel. And if he didn’t watch it, he would too, and that was a slippery slope he didn’t want to slide down.

  As he trotted down the steps, he kept repeating internally that he didn’t want or need a relationship. All he could offer was sex and a good time because he had thousands of people that needed all of him and his focus.

  All of the self-motivation meant nothing when he turned the corner into the kitchen and living area to find Shelly sitting on the floor next to Abel as they played tug of war with Ace. Preston was lost in the notion that he wanted everything and he wanted it with her and her son.

  “Hey,” he called out as he stepped into the room. Both Shelly and Abel looked up at him with smiles on their faces and a warm sensation rushed through him. Moving toward the fridge, he glanced at the steaks he had marinating and figured he could grill a couple of steaks, sauté some fresh vegetables Jackie grabbed for him at the farmer’s market over the weekend, and mix up a small salad for him and Shelly. He relayed his dinner choice over his shoulder, surprised to find Shelly leaning against the counter next to the fridge.

  “You don’t have to go through any trouble for us.”

  “It’s no big deal. I already had the steaks marinating. If you check the rack in the dining area, there should be a few bottles of wine. You can choose one.”

  “I was hoping you’d say that,” she added with a devious grin. “I had been eye-balling them a minute ago.”

  “And sorry about the way I answered the door. . .you know, in the towel. I don’t make it a habit.”

  Tossing her head back in laughter, Shelly joked, “You’d probably scare every delivery boy in the area if you did.”

  Shelly went to work, pouring them each a glass of wine while he moved onto the back deck to start up the grill. Abel was fascinated by the task and followed him, scooting a deck chair close so that he could stand and watch. Preston tried to do his best to make small talk with the boy while he waited for the grill to heat up and luckily was saved as Shelly joined them, handing him his glass of wine. She steered the conversation with Abel to what things he was looking forward to for the Fourth of July Celebration in town. For the first time, Preston didn’t share the same excitement. He would be working security for most of the festivities and would miss the thrill of witnessing Abel take in all of the festivities, especially the fireworks. A gloomy expression took form on the child’s face as Preston explained how he was going to work during the celebration, but that he would try to find them before the fireworks.

  Once the grill was ready, Preston slapped the steaks onto the grates and closed the lid. Abel peppered him with questions on how he learned to cook, how long to cook the meat, and if he could flip them when it was time. Normally a barrage of questions like this would bother him, but with Abel, he smiled and answered each question as best he could.

  Shelly set the outdoor table as he plated the steaks, veggies, and salad. They sat together as Ace nuzzled their legs and Preston got the oddest feeling of contentment. He had talked himself out of relationships so many times, but maybe this was what he had been needing all along. A reason. A purpose. A family to come home to.

  They sat outside for a while, Shelly and Preston watching Abel and Ace run around the yard, but as the sun began to set behind the tree line, a yawn caught Abel and took hold.

  “I should get him home and ready for bed. We have a play date with some of the Connelly kids tomorrow.”

  “That sounds fun. Thanks for joining me for dinner tonight. It was nice to have someone to share the night with.”

  “Same. Thank you for inviting us. I owe you dinner next time.”

  “As long as there is a next time, I won’t fight you,” he replied with a chuckle.

  He could see her fighting against a smile as she tucked her chin towards her chest before taking a final sip of wine.

  “Alright, let me wrangle him home,” Shelly said as she stood, placing her glass delicately on the wooden table. “Thank you again.”

  “You’re welcome anytime.”

  Shelly walked toward her son, who immediately scooped Ace up into his arms. They spoke for a moment, then Abel rushed toward him, handing off the dog before thanking Preston for dinner and running back toward his mother.

  As he watched them walk toward the darkening woods, he made a mental note to install a lit path along the walkway connecting the two properties. Seeing their forms disappear sent a shiver of fear through him. He told himself it was the protector instinct in him, but he wasn’t positive that it wasn’t also another emotion he was too afraid to name.

  On the table, his phone began to chime and he glanced down to see the FBI Special Agent-in-Charge’s number.

  “Savage,” he answered

  “Preston. How are you doing?” his boss asked as if he only called to make small talk. No, the SAC only called when he needed something, usually help on a case.

  “As good as can be, sir. May I ask why the call?”

  “Never want to shoot the shit, son?”

  “No, sir. I prefer to get straight to the point.”

  “Well, I can’t fault you for that. I called because we have a possible new link in the Harposia case. Word of weapons and human trafficking in Georgia are popping up, and we want you and Dylan to help investigate since you’re both familiar with the workings.”

  Chills ran down his spine despite the muggy weather outside. Nothi
ng good ever came from a connection to the Harposia cartel.

  “What makes you think this is tied to Harposia?”

  “I’ll fax over the file to your office, but the dealings are almost identical. We also had a recent arrest in Atlanta that leaked some information. Info we hope is true, which is where you come in.”

  “Okay. Can I have a couple of days to think about it? And I’m going to need you to reach out to Dylan. I don’t want to have that pleasure.”

  “You have two days to decide on acceptance. Then we’ll meet for a briefing.”

  “Okay. Thank you, sir.”

  His boss ended the call without another word leaving Preston staring into the darkness of his backyard.

  If the FBI had asked Preston last week, he would have jumped at the chance to work undercover. But now, he wasn’t sure he was fully committed.

  Could he say no? If he gave up the opportunity to go undercover, would he ever get the chance again? Preston wasn’t sure who he was if the FBI wasn’t a part of his life.

  And that thought scared him almost as much as his feelings for Shelly.

  ***

  For a Friday morning, Shelly was surprised to find the park as crowded as it was. She was joining a weekly play date between the Connelly wives and sisters. At first when she was invited Shelly had declined, she didn’t want to intrude on their family time. But Sydney had insisted and threatened her attendance.

  Abel gripped her hand as they approached the gathering of people, but then she saw Sydney, Avery, and Poppy nestled under a gazebo chatting. Shelly steered them in that direction and returned a wave from the women as they noticed her approaching.

  She apologized for being a little late, but they assured her that it wasn’t a problem and that Nikki was running late as well. Abel’s grip on her hand tightened and she leaned down as he gestured to whisper in her ear. Quietly he asked if he could play with the other kids and Shelly smiled, nodding for him to go ahead.

  “Thanks for the invite. Abel has been dying to play with kids close to his age and I can see there are a ton here today.”

  “Oh, he’s going to have a great time,” Poppy added, whom Shelly remembered from her vibrant red hair. “We’re so glad you could make it. I packed a cooler of drinks and snacks. Please help yourself.”

  Normally another mom making a comment like that would make Shelly feel inadequate and insecure, but coming from Poppy, she just smiled and gratefully accepted a bottle of water. Poppy was one of the kindest women Shelly had ever met, the entire Connelly crew were, but Poppy had a heart of gold and opened the childcare center and preschool in Carson. The woman was prepared for anything.

  While keeping a watchful eye on their kids, they chatted about the celebration coming up and caught up with what they had been doing since the last playdate. Nikki joined them a little bit later as their kids rushed toward the pavilion for a snack, then dashed away just as quickly.

  Just before noon, Avery and Poppy began gathering their things, explaining that they had to return to work. But as Sydney glanced down at her phone, the women halted their movements. Sydney was as cheerful as they came, but even Shelly could see her body begin to shake in fear.

  “Sydney? Is something wrong?” Avery asked as she wrapped an arm around her half-sister.

  “No,” she replied gruffly. “I mean, yes, maybe. I don’t know.”

  “Well, why don’t you explain what has you so shaken up?” At Poppy’s soothing tone, Sydney relaxed into Avery’s body.

  “I’m just being silly and paranoid. Dylan texted that his SAC, Special Agent-in-Charge, reached out to him to see if he could help on a case. He hasn’t been asked to help in a while. I was hoping it was over.”

  “What does it mean if he helps?” Shelly asked curiously. She didn’t know much about Dylan’s background, but she remembered he worked with the FBI.

  “It could mean nothing more than sorting through evidence or paperwork. Or it could mean going undercover. Missions like that can go from days to years. And he won’t know the assignment until he agrees,” Sydney explained.

  “Oh. That’s kind of crappy. They should at least give him an idea.”

  A smile cracked at the corner of Sydney’s lip as she replied, “I know, right? It’s always been like this. I’m just. . .tired. We have a family now. I don’t want to worry that he may not come home from an assignment.”

  Shelly knew not to ask how often that scenario occurred, but she could guess it was more frequently than Sydney wanted to think about. She couldn’t imagine being in the situation Sydney found herself in. Watching the love of your life leave for a job, knowing that there is a chance he or she may not return would feel like a hot poker searing your skin then penetrating your heart. It killed Shelly to even consider it.

  But as she watched Sydney’s family and friends support her and offer assurance, Shelly contemplated the fact that a person could meet their end any day or time, regardless of a job or assignment. She could leave the park today and encounter her demise, a thought that struck her stupid.

  And as she helped gesture for the children to return to the gazebo, Shelly decided that maybe now was the time to live a little, to give fear a good kick in the balls. And if she wanted to go to bed with an incredibly sexy Sheriff, then she might as well get her kicks while she can. Maybe she could feel wild and reckless, even if for one night to remind her that life was precious, but could also be wild and without abandon.

  Abel skipped over to her with two other girls around his age and Shelly smiled at her happy child. “Hey, bud. Did you have a good time?”

  “The best!” he shouted with a fist in the air, his friends following suit. “We have to do this again next Friday.”

  “Sure, sweetie. But remember, once Aunt Cassidy comes back in a couple of weeks, Mommy will be working. And then you’ll have schools starting not long after that.”

  Abel harrumphed and fisted his hands at his side but ultimately didn’t argue as one of his friends asked about school in New York.

  “Hey, Shelly, I forgot to mention something to you.” Poppy came to stand beside her as Abel continued to describe his old class. “On Friday nights, mom, well, Amy, watches all of the kids so the parents can have a date night. I know she’d love to have Abel stay with her and the others.”

  “Oh my, how many kids is that?”

  “Honestly, I’ve lost count, but she knows what she’s doing. And I think she likes having the older kids because they can entertain themselves and help with the little ones.”

  “I don’t think she needs to add another kid to the mix.”

  “Seriously, Abel is such a good kid and she’ll be thrilled to have him. Believe me. She’s like the kid whisperer. Anyway, I’ll let her know you’re bringing him because you’d be crazy not to. But if you change your mind, shoot me a message. I’ll send you the address when I get back to work.” Poppy left as quickly as the summer breeze and Shelly was left standing, wondering what had happened. Thank goodness everyone had exchanged numbers with her when she arrived at the park, or she would have no way to contact the vibrant woman.

  As she and Abel headed back toward her car, she thought how nice it would be to have an evening alone. She hadn’t experienced one of those in years. Except, maybe she didn’t have to spend the night alone after all. Maybe she could take her own internal advice and try a little bit of recklessness.

  Once her son was belted into his booster seat, she asked if he wanted to stay the night with his new friends. Without any hesitation or surprise, he cheered at the chance to spend more time with them. Texting Poppy, she agreed to the slumber party and asked for a drop-off and pick-up time before starting her car and heading back home. All the while wondering, and hoping, that Preston had another night free.

  Chapter Seven

  The day at the office seemed to drag on and on. He mostly filled out weekly paperwork though he did answer a few domestic disputes in the area before Alexis arrived. But as the clock neared six
that evening, he’d had enough. He had been awake most of the night contemplating his decision for the mission. He was genuinely torn in half. The adrenaline side of him wanting to go and fight the bad guys, while the other side wanted to stay and see how things progressed with Shelly.

  If they progressed at all. He wasn’t sure where they stood. She ran hot then cold faster than the bullets he dodged. But, man, he couldn’t stop thinking about her.

  Last night watching the setting sun glisten off her brown skin had fascinated him. Most of the evening he spent staring at her, just in awe to be in her presence, but he worried she had caught him a few times. Graciously she hadn’t said anything.

  “Oh, are you headed out?” Jackie asked as he rounded her desk.

  “Yeah, it’s been a long week. I’m ready to spend the weekend relaxing. Maybe head to the lake for some fishing,” he told her as he locked up his office. “Oh, I meant to ask, did you send that fax to the mayor about the budget? I haven’t heard anything from him.”

  Jackie wordlessly nodded as she typed away at her computer.

  “Okay, well, I’ll mention it to him when I see him at church on Sunday. Have a good night, Jackie.”

  “You too, Sheriff.”

  As Preston made his way to the front door, he ducked his head into the small office Alexis used when she wasn’t sitting near the front of the building. He hadn’t ever asked her to stay near the reception area, but she claimed it intimidated the people that came in. And he knew that intimidation gave her a thrill in life.

  “Don’t work too hard tonight, Alexis. And I know you wanted to switch weekends, but if you need a break, please let me know.”

  “I know, Preston. Thank you for the offer, though. Cliff is at a tattoo convention all weekend and well, I’m hoping I can arrest a few people to keep myself busy.”

  “Alright, well, the offer still stands. And be careful.” She nodded in agreement as he stepped from her office and out the door to his truck.