Dubious: The Loan Shark Duet (Book 1)

by Charmaine Pauls

  “Not yet,” he says, as if to himself. “Good night, Valentina.”

  Then, like last night, he’s gone.

  * * *

  It’s ten when I go up to Gabriel’s room to make his bed. By now, he’d have finished his morning workout and shower. He’d be working in his study. As I’m pulling the sheets over the mattress, the bathroom door opens, and he steps out with a towel tied around his waist, his hair wet and droplets running down his chest.

  I gulp and almost choke on my saliva. Heat gathers in my underwear as my imagination completes the picture hidden under the towel. A slow smile spreads over his face. He twists his head, hiding the scars from me, and walks to the dressing room.

  “Shall I make the bed?” I ask in a small voice.

  He turns to watch me, letting his eyes slide over my dress, making me feel naked. “Unless you have other ideas?”

  His smile broadens as a flush heats my cheeks.

  I clear my throat. “I meant I could come back later.”

  He drops the towel, flashing me with a full frontal of his glorious, naked body.

  “There’s nothing you haven’t seen,” he says, “so don’t let me keep you from your work.”

  He’s wrong. The white, embossed line running diagonally across his knee is new to me. So is the circular mark surrounded by finer lines, like a spider’s web, on his foot. He looks like a perfect Frankenstein specimen, angrily stitched together and magnificently hard. There’s not an inch of him that’s not one hundred percent man, in every right and every wrong way possible.

  For an utterly embarrassing moment, I’m frozen to the spot, staring at him like an idiot. It’s Gabriel who breaks the spell by walking to a rack of shirts. His ass looks like it’s chiseled from marble.

  My breath flutters as I force my eyes away and continue the task of making his bed. All the while, I’m aware of him. He pulls on a white shirt and buttons it up. Next follow briefs, black slacks, and silver tie. He sits down on a stool to pull on socks and expensive looking shoes. He opens a drawer and selects a pair of cufflinks, which he fits without difficulty.

  I’ve never watched a man’s grooming. There’s something intimate about it. It’s like a privilege he’s given me, allowing me to watch. All dressed up, he leaves the room, trailing his palm over my backside on his way out. The caress is so light, maybe I imagined it. Alone, with no one to see, I fluff out his pillow and push my face into it. I inhale his scent, remembering the taste of him in my mouth. What is it like to be a woman from his world, treasured and respected, and not a maid or sex toy? We’re worlds apart, and our worlds don’t mix.

  * * *

  For the remainder of the day, I keep a watchful eye on Oscar. His frequent urination stops in the late afternoon. It’s safe to let him out of my room. Besides, he can’t stay here all weekend when I leave.

  Gabriel is out when my weekly shift comes to an end. I’m nervous to leave the grounds even if Magda was clear on the rules, but I’m also anxious to see Charlie and Kris. I shove a change of clothes and the container of food remains into a grocery bag and check that Oscar has enough food before I go. Outside, I find Rhett on the porch.

  “Hi.” I clutch the bag in my hands. “I’m off until Monday.”

  “I know.”

  “I’ll need the new key to my flat.”

  “You’re going back there?”

  “I need to tie up loose ends.”

  “Wait here.” He disappears inside and exits a short while later with a set of keys he places in my hand. “The big one’s for the main lock, and the two small ones for the top and bottom deadlocks.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Are you going there now?”

  “Probably tomorrow. I’m first going to see my brother.” I also want to visit Puff’s grave. “Where did you bury Puff?”

  “You don’t want to know.”

  “I want to put flowers on his grave.”

  “You don’t want to put shit out there. In fact, I’m not sure you should go anywhere near that neighborhood.”

  From the look he gives me, I’m scared he’s going to prevent me from leaving, so I say quickly, “See you Monday.”

  He doesn’t reply, but doesn’t stop me either. When he presses a code on his phone that opens the gate, I rush through with relief. There are no public busses in this area, but if I walk far enough, I’ll eventually hit the off-ramp to the highway where I can catch a minivan taxi. I flag one down after a fifty-minute walk. I’m the only white girl in the van and receive nasty remarks about the color of my skin from the other passengers, but the driver is kind and lets me sit up front until he drops me off in Orange Grove.

  A Jewish community mostly populates the area because of the synagogue. In Rocky Street, I pause to feed the food remains to the street dogs before hurrying the last two blocks to Kris’ house. I enter through the adjoining clinic. A few clients are waiting in the reception area. Kris runs an honest to God good practice for the love of it. She charges way less than what she should, and I know she treats a lot of animals for free when the clients can’t afford the medicine or consultations. She barely makes ends meet, and I feel bad for saddling her with my problems, but I have no one else.

  There’s no assistant. She hasn’t replaced me yet. I knock on the consultation room door and push it open.

  Kris lifts her gaze from a Yorkshire Terrier and shoots me a smile. “Get me a vaccine shot while you’re here, will you?”

  I scrub my hands in the basin and enter the small backroom where she keeps the vaccines. She’s in over her head, so I stick around and help out where I can.

  After seven, she pats my shoulder and jerks her head toward the door. “Go on. Charlie’s in the house. I know you’re anxious to see him.”

  “Thank you.” I offer her a grateful smile and hurry through the back to the house.

  Charlie sits in front of the television in the lounge, wearing a Superman T-shirt and shorts, his fringe falling into his eyes.

  When he sees me, his eyes light up. “Va–Val!”

  He jumps up and grabs me into a hug, almost crushing my ribs. Sometimes, he forgets his strength.

  “Hey.” I brush the hair from his face. “How are you? Is Kris taking good care of you?”

  “Loo–look.” He points at a stack of comic books on the coffee table. “Kri–Kris gave me money to ex–exchange th–them.”

  “That’s great,” I say, even if I worry. The comic store is across the road. Charlie has to cross a very busy street to get there. “Have you eaten?”

  “Kris is a good coo–cook. She’s making ma–macaroni and chee–cheese to–tonight.”

  “Sounds good.” I tie an apron around my waist, and set to work cooking dinner and cleaning the kitchen. Dirty dishes are stacked on every surface. The trashcan needs a good scrub and the floors a wash. Kris has never been tidy, but she spends every free second in the practice. An hour later, the kitchen is spotless, and the lounge and bedrooms vacuumed. I’m busy putting clean linen on the beds when Kris enters, looking shattered.

  “Dinner’s ready.” I pull out a chair by the small table in the kitchen where Charlie is already seated.

  She looks around and shakes her head. “You didn’t have to.”

  “Are you kidding? After what you’re doing for Charlie?”

  “Yeah.” Her eyes are probing. “We need to talk about that.”

  I glance at my brother and give her a pointed stare. “After dinner.”

  “Okay.”

  Later, when I’ve tucked Charlie into bed, I take the clean laundry from the dryer and start folding it. Kris takes two beers from the fridge, cracks the cans, and hands me one.

  She leans on the counter and props a foot on the cupboard door. “So, care to tell me about this new job of yours?”

  I take a long swig from the beer before I face her. “There’s nothing more to tell.”

  Her eyes narrow on me. “How long?”

  “Nine.”

&nb
sp; “Nine months?”

  “Years,” I say from behind the beer can.

  She sprays the swallow of beer she’s just taken over the clean floor. “Jesus, Val.” She shoves a hand into the pocket of her jeans and stares at me with an open mouth.

  “I know. It’s not like I have a choice.” I don’t go into the gritty details.

  “Hold on. Are you telling me you’re his live-in maid for the next nine years?”

  “Yes.” I dab up the spilled beer with a paper towel.

  She starts pacing the floor. “What about your studies?”

  “I’ll still carry on.”

  She stops. “Will you manage?”

  “I’ll have to.”

  “It’s a lot of studying. A fucking lot of studying.”

  “I know.”

  “Did you sign a contract?”

  “I don’t need a contract. Paper is worthless to men like him. His word is enough.”

  “How does this agreement work?”

  “The salary he would’ve paid me goes to settling the debt.”

  “How could he approve a loan for Charlie? I mean, Charlie. Of all people. There must be a law that prevents institutions from granting loans to disabled people.”

  “I never declared Charlie incompetent. A big oversight on my part. In any event, fighting him with the legal system won’t work. You know every judge in this country is corrupt. The man with the most money always wins.”

  “Fuck, Val, there must be something we can do.”

  “Look, I can’t change it. I have to make the best of it.”

  “If you’re working for him for nothing, how will you afford your studies?”

  “He’s giving me an allowance. It’ll be enough to pay the portion the bursary doesn’t cover, and I was kind of hoping you’ll keep me on for Sundays.”

  “You’re going to burn yourself out.”

  “That’s rich coming from you, Miss Workaholic.”

  She smiles. “You know I’ll do whatever to help.”

  “I’ll pay for Charlie’s food and expenses. I don’t expect you to put him up for nothing.”

  “Forget about it.”

  “It’s not up for negotiation.” I hesitate. “Nine years is a long time.”

  “Don’t worry about Charlie. He’s welcome here for however long it takes.”

  “Thank you, Kris.” A heavy weight lifts off my shoulders. “I don’t know what I would’ve done without you.”

  “What about your flat?”

  “I’m selling it. There’s no point in keeping it if it’s going to stand empty.”

  “Good luck. You’ll battle to give it away for free.”

  I sigh. “I know. Listen, about Charlie.” I twist the tip of my trainer on the floor. “He told me about the comic store. It’s a busy road, Kris.”

  “I taught him to wait for the green light. We did a few practice rounds together. You’ve got to let go a little, give him some freedom. I know you feel protective, and it’s understandable, but you have to push him to be as autonomous as possible.”

  “I just…” I swallow. “I just don’t know. I feel responsible.”

  She leaves her beer on the table and takes my shoulders. “It’s not your fault. It was an accident. You have to let it go.”

  I wipe at the unwelcome tears in my eyes and look away. “I know.”

  “Hey.” She wipes my face with her palms. “Everything’s going to be all right. It’ll work out. You’ll see.”

  “Sure.” I only say it to placate Kris, because once she’s on a roll, she won’t stop until she believes she has me convinced. Kris is the queen of positive thinking, and for that I’m as grateful as I am for her giving me a job and taking Charlie in.

  “Come on.” She hooks her arm around mine and drags me to the lounge. “Let’s watch a stupid sitcom and laugh ourselves silly.”

  “I don’t know.” I pull back. “I have to get to the flat.”

  “What, now?” She points at the window. “It’s pitch black dark outside. How will you get there? I’m not letting you out of this house tonight. You can bum on the couch. By the way, I cleaned up your place and emptied out the fridge.”

  Tears of gratitude stream over my face. I really need to put a cork in it, but it’s as if the dam wall has broken.

  “Now, now.” She hugs me tightly. “Tomorrow is another day.”

  * * *

  I work all Sunday in the practice, and after buying a few groceries to stock up Kris’ cupboards, I head out to Berea in a minivan taxi before it gets dark. The agent I called that morning is waiting for me in front of the building when I arrive. I wonder about Jerry, but I already see from the street his windows are dark. When we exit the stairs on my floor, my heart lurches. The door stands ajar.

  “Wait,” the elderly gentleman says, pushing me aside.

  He takes a pistol from the waistband of his pants and nudges the door open with his shoe.

  Chaos greets us. Every single cupboard is open. Broken crockery is scattered over the floor. The mattress is shredded, foam peeling from cuts in the fabric. The cushions have been destroyed, too.

  He lowers the gun. “Is anything valuable gone?”

  I shake my head. There was nothing, except for our kitchen utensils. “Why would anyone do this?”

  “Destruction. They don’t need any other reason.”

  We study the door together. It’s not broken.

  “The bastards picked the locks,” he says, confirming my deduction.

  As I start sweeping up broken glass and porcelain, the agent inspects the ruined space. He ums and ahs, testing the taps and the button to flush the toilet.

  “Everything looks clean,” he finally says, “but it’s tough selling in Berea these days.”

  My heart sinks, even if I know no one in their right mind will buy a place in the heart of drug valley, and those who’ll risk it here don’t pay rent. They simply take or vandalize.

  “Can you try? I really need the money.”

  “Don’t we all? What about the furniture?”

  “I’m having it picked up by a pawn shop.” Kris gave me the contact. They offered me a few bucks for our belongings.

  “I’ll keep in touch.”

  After he’s gone, I ensure the fridge is empty and have a shower before I switch off the geyser. Tomorrow, I’ll have the electricity and water cut. It’s additional bills I don’t have to worry about. The money will go to Kris to help pay for Charlie’s part of the living expenses. Tonight is the last night I plan on spending here. I never want to come back. When I’m done paying Charlie’s debt, I’ll join Kris in her practice and get Charlie and me a place of our own. Kris promised me a full partnership when I graduate from vet school.

  It takes a good couple of hours to clean up the flat, after which my grumbling tummy reminds me I haven’t eaten since lunch. I drink a glass of water, but the hunger pains won’t go away. There’s nothing in the cupboards. The thieves took all the tinned and dry food that was left. There’s ten bucks in my bag from the allowance Gabriel paid me, but I’ll need it for taxi fare. I turn the broken side of the mattress onto the bedframe and make the bed, trying not to think about food. I double-check that the door is locked. The new door is sturdy and comes with a deadbolt on the inside, which I slide into place. It gives me a small amount of added security.

  Sometime during the night, there’s a thunderstorm. I lie awake, watching the lightning run across the sky and listening to the drops falling on the roof. I long for Charlie and Puff. A selfish part of me wishes they were here so I could hold them in my arms, while the logical part of me is happy that they’re free from this hell. It’s a miracle that I’m here, unbound, that despite my debt, I have a measure of freedom. It gives me hope. Maybe Magda has some fairness inside of her. My thoughts drift to Gabriel as I fall asleep, and my dreams are filled with disturbingly erotic images of his scarred body.

  * * *

  When the alarm on my phone goes off at five, I h
aven’t slept much, but I can’t risk being late for work. The gangs and criminals are mostly active at night. At this time, most of them will be passed out from alcohol or drug abuse. There’s little chance I’ll run into any unfavorable elements on the street. After brushing my teeth and washing my face, I pull on my clean dress. I lock the door, drag the trash bags with our broken crockery downstairs, and hit the streets.

  My trainers fall quietly on the pavement as I dodge the potholes filled with water. The air is fresh after the rain with steam coming off the tar. There’s a quiet after the storm, leaving me peaceful and calm, but my tranquility doesn’t last long.

  A little way down the street, a tall, slender figure emerges from between two buildings.

  7

  Valentina

  My heart lurches in my chest. Maybe he hasn’t seen me. I clutch the bag to my body, searching for a side road to slip into, but it’s too late. The man heads straight for me. I know that step. There’s a slight bend to his knees, and his arms are spread wide. My breathing quickens, and my body breaks out in a sweat, but I lift my chin and give him a defiant stare when he stops in front of me.

  “Well, now,” Tiny says, “if it ain’t Little Red Riding Hood.”

  “I don’t have time for your games.”

  I try to move past him, but he grabs my arm.

  “No time for Tiny? My, my, are you an uppity-ass, now?”

  “Unlike you, I work. Let me go or I’ll be late.”

  “High and mighty, huh? Tiny heard you left. Tiny was watching your flat, waiting for you.”

  His words shake me. I didn’t run into him by chance. He waited for me.

  “Tiny…” I want it to sound like a warning, but there’s a wheeze in my voice.

  “You still owe Tiny. You’ll always owe Tiny. Tiny has waited long enough.”