by Mary Smith
I fall silent.
“Teo, I know you are hurting, but she is too. You not knowing about your daughter ate at her every single day. She wanted you by her side through it all. I know it for a fact.”
I’m becoming uncomfortable with all this talk. I can’t stand thinking of Nova in pain. It truly bothers me. “Why are you telling me this?” I go on the defense.
“Because if I were in your shoes, I’d want to know.” He kisses Klara and skates off leaving me standing there.
I stare at Nova, who is clearly trying her best not to watch me and Klara. She seriously lacks skills of trying to be incognito.
“Hey, Teo.” Shade stops in front of my line of vision.
“Shade.” I nod. Shade is an okay guy. He was a jokester like Alden, but after he married Jenessa he cooled down. We all know they got married because she was pregnant. “Where’s Jenessa?”
“Um…” He shrugs. “Well, she knew Nova was going to be here and didn’t want to see…” He trails off and nods to Klara.
“Shit.” I mumble. I’d forgotten their baby and Klara are the exact same age. Their baby boy died as Jenessa gave birth because the umbilical cord had been wrapped around his neck. “I’m sorry, bro.”
“It’s fine.”
Clearly, it’s not.
“Is she doing okay?”
He shrugs again. “I wouldn’t know. She doesn’t really talk to me anymore.”
The pain in his words cut through me. I can’t imagine their pain. I just found out about Klara and there’s no way I could survive losing her.
“We heard you’re quitting,” Shade says.
“Yes. I planned on telling you guys tonight at the team dinner. But I guess you all know, huh?”
“Pretty much.” He tries to smirk, but it quickly falls when Klara begins to babble and drool.
“I need to clean her up. Later, Shade.” I skate away quickly for him–and for me.
I stop in front of Nova. “Do you have those towel thingys?” I point to Klara’s overly saturated mouth.
She giggles and pulls one from her purse. “How’s it going?”
“Good.” I wipe her mouth and she screams out.
“Teo.” Nova jumps up. “Don’t be harsh.” She snatches the cloth. “Pat her mouth. She has sensitive skin.” She shows me and softly shushes Klara until she calms down. “See. All better.”
“Hamilton had to remind me to bundle her up before bringing her out here.” I volunteer the information of my fuck up.
“She’s like me and wants to be warm.” She continues to stroke my daughter’s cheek.
“You still sleep with twenty blankets on your bed?” I joke. Actually, it’s not a joke. Nova’s a serious cover hog and needs several of them to sleep. She never told me why. I guess she likes it, but sometimes it seems to be more to it.
“Nova.”
We both turn and see Liam coming over the bench toward us.
“I’m glad you got my text to meet me.” He kisses her cheek. “Hi, Teo.”
“Liam.” I curtly nod to him.
“I hope you’re having fun.” He tries to converse with me, but I’m not sure what his endgame is with Nova. Wait? I don’t care what they do. Okay, I’m lying. I do care, but I’m still pissed off at her.
“Loads,” I simply state and skate off with Klara.
For the next hour, I spend it with my teammates and their families. Everyone wants to hold Klara and gush over her. Of course, the biggest comment from them all is how much she looks like me. I point out she has Nova’s nose and hair, but the poor girl looks identical to me.
When some of the families begin to leave the ice, I roam around a few more times on the ice with Klara. I will miss being out here. I hate that Klara will never see me play a game. At least one she’ll remember. I will miss the team, but I’m not sad. I’m excited, nervous, and determined to start a new chapter in my life.
I take Klara back to the locker room. She’s becoming fussier, and I’m certain she has to be hungry and tired. I take off her enormous suit and laugh as her hair has static in it. She looks like someone who put their finger in a socket. I try to tame it down but I’m not sure how.
“Put some water on your hand and lightly wet her hair.” Cabel slaps my shoulder with a grin.
I nod and do as he suggests. It works, but she’s starting to cry. She has to be hungry. I grab a bottle from the warmer and shake it up. The problem–Klara isn’t taking it. What am I doing wrong?
As much as I don’t want to, I grab my cell phone and text Nova to come help. Within a moment, she’s rushing into the locker room.
“What’s wrong?” She checks over Klara, who’s wailing louder than I’ve ever heard before.
“She won’t stop.” I’m patting her back, but it’s not helping at all.
“Here.” She takes her from me. “Hey, sweet monkey, why are you crying?” She wipes her tears, then picks up a bottle. “I told you to behave for your daddy.” Klara instantly takes the bottle for her. “She’s tired.” Nova smiles up at me. “Here.” She tries to hand her to me, but I step back. “What’s wrong?”
I don’t know where or why these feelings suddenly hit me, but the sense of failure washes over me. I couldn’t get my daughter to stop crying. Hell, I forgot to put on her coat and gloves. What kind of parent am I?
I’m my mother.
“Teo, are you okay?” Nova reaches for me, but I move out of her touch.
“I have to go.” I grab my keys and cell phone and sprint away from her. I hear my name being called, but I keep running.
I can’t be like my family. It’s not fair to Klara. She deserves the best. I thought this would be easy. Feed her, change her, play with her, and BAM! She’d be the perfect kid. Playing with her I have down pat. Feeding her is not great. I haven’t really clothed her a whole lot, and I’ll never mention a bath ever again. Fuck, I don’t even own a car seat yet. How the hell am I supposed to transport her?
The second I pass the hotel doors, I turn right and head straight for the bar. I need a drink. I order a double shot of whiskey and swallow it down quickly. I wave the bartender down for another.
“Teo.” I feel a hard grip on my shoulder and I freeze.
Fuck, it’s Oliver.
“What are we doing?” He takes a seat on the stool next to me.
“Just having a drink.”
“Hmm.” He turns and tells the bartender he’ll have the same drink as me. “Nova was upset when I saw her in the locker room. Care to share why my goddaughter was crying again?”
I shrug. Confessing my deepest failures isn’t something I want to do.
“Come on, Teo. Talk to me. You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” He lowers his tone and sips his whiskey.
I don’t know if it’s the alcohol warming my blood, or if I just needed to get it off my chest, but I tell Oliver. I tell him how much I hate being a hockey player, how much I want to hone my architect skills, and how I failed Klara.
“I had the worst parents in the world. Well, maybe not as bad as Sharon but pretty damn close. I want to be the best father I can be.”
“Hear me out, Teo.” He spins on his seat and looks at me. “You’re a great guy and an even better father. You’ve just not spent enough time with her.”
“It’s going to get even worse now since the season is about to start.” In a few days, I’ll have a full-blown travel schedule. By the time I slow down, Klara will be one year old.
“Teo, if you want out of your contract I can make it happen.”
I look at him and my mouth falls open. “What?”
“I’m not the type of man to repeat myself.” He glares slightly.
“Oliver, I would like it to happen, but I gave my word I’d finish this season and I will. Besides, I still have a lot to work out before I take steps to my next chapter.”
“I can understand what you’re saying.” He nods. “Let me give you a piece of advice. I’m not a man with children and the girls were
much older when I was able to spend more time with them, but you’re a good man.” He repeats again. “I see you and Nova with a happy future and more children.”
I take a deep breath. “Nova and I aren’t together. She’s with Liam and I’m still pissed at her.”
“She lied and that’ll be hard to move past but think of the Nova you know. The Nova I know.”
I take a few seconds and think of the amazing woman I once knew.
“She’s still the same. She is. I promise.” Oliver falls silent and then grins. “How about I make some phone calls and see if we can’t move your timeline up a bit?”
I furrow my brow. “You’ve already given me names and references. I’m not sure there’s much else to do.”
“I have some connections I’ve not revealed. If I can get you a job and it is a job you truly want, I’ll release you from your Bears contract.”
My heart leaps up to my throat. “Oliver, I can’t thank you enough.”
“I don’t want you to be in a job or career you don’t love or want to be in. Life is too short not to be happy. It’s also too short for you not to be with the one you love.”
Now, it’s my turn to glare at him.
He holds up his hands. “Okay, I won’t push, but you two belong together.”
THE SCRIMMAGE GAME against the Nashua Tigers has probably been the most intense game I’ve seen since the playoffs. These young boys are trying to make their names known in front of the cameras and reporters.
And it’s working.
Everyone is talking about the Tigers.
The team dinner is fun, but Oliver’s words are still ringing in my head. I sit between Nathan and Alden, across from Hamilton and Cabel.
“I have an announcement,” I say louder than actually intended.
The table quiets and I notice Oliver has a small grin on his face.
“I know there’s a rumor going around about me. I wanted to let you all know firsthand I’ve enjoyed being a Bear and my career in the PHL. I have gained friendships, brothers, and lifelong experiences. However, with this I’ve lost myself and my passions. Therefore, I have told upper management the end of this season will be my last. I’m retiring from the PHL and ready to start my new career goals.”
Everyone is quiet for a few seconds until Oliver stands with his beer in hand. “Teo, on behalf of the Bears, we wish you the best and please know how grateful we are for your time on this team. It will not go unforgotten.”
All the guys raise their glasses and toast me. It’s now real. This is the closing of one door and the opening of another.
“YOU’VE NOT BEEN in a bar since you fucked Nova. Come on. Let’s hit the town.” Alden is almost on his hands and knees begging. “Nathan, Bas, Cabel, Dag, and Ivan are all coming. Please.”
I know Alden. He’s not going to give up. “Fine.”
Alden almost cheers and drags me by my arm to the bar across the lobby. It almost looks like a nightclub and not the quiet bar I sat in earlier today. There’s now a dance floor, a DJ, and a lot of females dressed with little material.
I’m at the bar hoping to get a drink when I see Liam and Nova cross the lobby. My heart sinks and my blood boils with jealousy. I’m about to confront her when a hand squeezes my thigh.
“Alden said you’re my new best friend.” A drop dead gorgeous blonde, with her tits hanging out, flirtatiously twirls a strand of hair around her finger.
Nova is with Liam. I know what Oliver said, but I don’t give second chances.
“I’m Lily.” She shouts.
“Teo.”
“I know who you are. I’ve followed your career. You were amazing last season.”
I don’t roll my eyes. I barely played last year. She’s certainly lying or Alden told her to say it.
“I know a private place for us.”
I study her face. Not Nova. Her eyes. Not Nova. Her hair. Not Nova. Nothing about this female is Nova, and I can’t be with her or anyone else. Besides all women are the same.
“Thanks but no thanks.” I leave her at the bar and walk back to my room.
Alone.
Chapter Nine
Nova
I SIT KLARA on my lap facing toward the ice. Tonight the Bears season started. We’re in period three and the Bears are up by two thanks to Vance and Remington. Hamilton is using his large body to clear paths for the guys. The Bears are on fire.
As the final buzzer goes off, everyone in the box stands and cheers on the win. Klara is asleep in my arms when Liam leans over close to my ear.
“When am I going to be able to take you out on a proper date?”
I shrug. “I don’t have time.”
“How about if Teo watches the baby tonight?”
I frown. “He just finished a game and it’s late. Plus, I have early appointments tomorrow.”
“Teo’s a backup. He didn’t do anything but sit on the bench.” He scoffs.
There’s no way I heard him correctly. I want to tell him to shut up, but I can’t do it. He’s still Uncle Oliver’s CFO. “I need to get Klara home.” I give my best fake smile and head out of the box, saying goodbye to everyone. Janan and Macy follow me out to our cars. They’re trying to talk to me, but I’m not listening.
“See you both later.” I hug them quickly and get the hell out of dodge.
I want to go home and be alone with my baby. The travel itinerary for the season is making me sad because I’m going to miss so much. Klara is probably going to be walking and talking and I’ll miss it all. I don’t want to miss a single second of it, but I do love my job. I miss cooking though. I miss cooking a lot.
I lay Klara in her crib after carefully changing her. The kid is out like a light. I grab a glass of water and sit down on the couch to go over the contracts for tomorrow when my phone dings.
Teo: May I come over and say goodnight to Klara?
Me: Of course.
Before I even set my phone back down there’s a knock at the door.
“Did you teleport over here?” I joke when I answer the door.
“No, I was in the driveway.” Teo steps in.
“She’s asleep but you can go in there.” I nod toward her room and go back to the contracts.
I’m not sure how long he’s in there, but when he’s finished he comes over and sits on the couch next to me. He says nothing and I’m not sure what to say.
“It was a good game,” I finally say. “Nathan did great tonight.”
“He did.” He nods and goes back to quiet.
“Klara enjoyed the game, even though she passed out in the third period.” I giggle. Teo doesn’t respond. “Teo, are you okay?”
“Tired I guess.” He picks at his suit pants.
“You’re lying.” I toss the paperwork on the coffee table. “Talk to me.” I turn to him.
“I received a phone call after practice.” He stops talking.
“And…” I wave my hand for him to continue.
“I received a job offer today from DGQ Corp. Thanks to Oliver.”
“This is a good thing, right?” I’m unsure if he’s happy or not.
“It’s good. They told me I can start whenever I want. Oliver even said he would release me from my contract.”
“Well, then, this is great news. Congratulations.” I pat his shoulder. “When are you going to start?”
He shrugs.
“Not really an answer.” I declare.
“I want to leave right now, but at the same time, I’ve been a hockey player since I’ve been eight years old. I’ve never had a real job besides hockey.” He hangs his head.
I know what is happening. “Teo, you’re going to be great.” I scoot over closer to him taking his hand in mine. “I know it’s a scary transition, but you’re going to be outstanding. You will walk into your new career and do what you did in hockey. You will go in there with determination and an open mind and take it by storm.”
With his other hand, he rubs his forehead but doesn’t let go
of my hand. He’s nervous.
“They told you you can start any time. If you want to stay the entire season, you can. If you want to leave right now, you can. Whatever you decide it’ll be right for you and you’ll be great at it.”
He squeezes my hand. “Thank you.”
“Teo, I care for you and I’ll support you. I know you’re mad at me still, but I’m hoping we can move past it and be friends again.” I take a deep breath and go for it. “I miss being your friend.”
“Then you shouldn’t have lied to me.” He stands and leaves the house.
I PAT KLARA’S mouth for the millionth time today. She’s tiny so I can’t understand how she drools as much as she does.
“How’s my peanut?” Janan kisses her cheek.
“She’s a drooling machine.” Klara reaches for Janan. “Have you heard anything?” I sip my coffee.
“Dacey is back from Ireland with the babies.”
Dacey Pemberton is our friend and wife of Vance Pemberton. She traveled back to Northern Ireland to have her twin girls. Vance and she wanted them born in their home country so she’s been there since she was a little over six months pregnant.
“Are you ready to go over to visit?”
“Let’s go.” I had everything already gathered up for Klara and myself. Janan is going to drive us over.
Dacey is a stunner with her strawberry blonde hair and blue eyes. Her girls look just like her. “I’ve missed you both so much.” She hugs us both tightly. “Oh look at this angel.” Dacey’s accent makes Klara stop and stare.
“How are you feeling?” I ask as I admire her babies.
“Great. Well, tired, but traveling with these two is a bit of a nightmare. However, we made it.” She smiles brightly still holding Klara.
“I bet Vance is happy to have you home.” Janan picks up one of the girls.
“He is. He was terribly sad leaving us over there to come back. I almost thought he wasn’t going to come back to the Bears.” She sits down and shakes a rattle in front of Klara. “Speaking of which, I heard a rumor you two will own the Bears soon.”
“Ha!” Janan scoffs. “Not soon. Whenever Uncle Oliver retires or dies. That old bugger isn’t going anywhere for a very long time.”