“Are you sure, Miss?”
“Yes. If he’s down there, I need to convince him to leave so that I can speak to him alone, preferably someplace quieter than here. I’m afraid he won’t listen to me if you’re around.”
He stared at me, seeming torn about whether or not to leave me alone in this place, but then eventually nodded.
“That’s a fair assumption. I can wait in the car. Just…be careful down there.”
Apprehension sent a hot flush over my skin. The thought of going downstairs alone caused me to break out in a nervous sweat. Suddenly feeling like I was suffocating in stifling heat, I shrugged out of my jacket and handed it to Hale.
“Thanks, Hale. I will.”
After he was gone, I turned back to look down the long staircase in front of me. A lump formed in my throat as I put one foot in front of the other. My heart continued to hammer loudly in my ears, roaring over the thumping music.
What if he’s not even here?
When I reached the base of the steps, I scanned the sea of dancing bodies. If Alexander was down here, I doubted he would be among them. More than likely, he’d be near one of the bars on the other side of the room. My palms pooled with sweat as I thought about navigating through the leather clad crowd. I glanced down at my own attire. I was wearing jeans and a black fitted cotton shirt. It wasn’t leather, but at least I happened to be wearing black.
As I began to move through the crowd, I sent another prayer to whatever god might be listening. This time, I prayed for homogeneity.
32
alexander
I didn’t think about my mother, sister, and Hale. I wouldn’t allow myself to think about any of them. I blocked it all out, including any thoughts of Krystina. She was too normal in a world that was incredibly fucked up. I never knew normal. It was foolish for me to believe that I could have it with her. I was only lying to myself. I couldn’t pretend anymore. This is where I belonged. It was what I knew best, and it was the only place I had complete control.
The waitress came by with another round of bourbon. She kept her eyes averted, never once meeting mine as she set the glass down. After she walked away, I picked up the glass and slowly sipped the aged liquor. Alone in my own corner of the club, I surveyed the people in Club O.
As always, the place was full of beautiful women, all exotic and different in their own way. I didn’t know their names, but I didn’t need to know. None of them knew my past and that’s all that mattered. They would never ask questions about my life or try to get to know me. I wouldn’t permit them too. The only thing I would allow them to ask for was my dominance.
My gaze continued to scan the room until I locked eyes with a curvy brunette nearby. I glanced down at her wrist. She was wearing a green bracelet. That meant she was free for any Dom who wanted to have her. She smiled and cast her eyes down, her way of inviting me to choose her. I expected to feel the familiar twitch of my cock that always happened when I was ready to move in for the kill. However, I felt nothing. I didn’t want that woman. In fact, I didn’t want any woman in here.
Annoyed, I tossed back the contents of my drink and signaled the waitress for another. Too focused on getting absolutely blitzed, I didn’t notice the black-haired woman approaching my table until she was right in front of me. My eyes traveled up the length of her fishnet stockinged legs and curvaceous body. My buzzed mind barely registered her bracelet color before my gaze settled on the face of my very first submissive.
“Sasha,” I said. I spoke her name in acknowledgment, but by no means was it a greeting or an invitation. I wasn’t in the mood to deal with her tonight.
“Alex, it’s good to see you.” Her voice grated on my nerves and I looked past her dismissively. “Where’s your pretty girlfriend tonight? What was her name again? Krystina?”
My head snapped to look at her. Her dyed hair fell in thin loose strands over her shoulders, and her face was painted with dark makeup. She was once beautiful, but her beauty had faded over time. Now, she looked haggard. My guess was that too many Doms and possibly too many drugs had hardened her once perfect face.
“You don’t get to speak her name. I will never hear it come from your lips again. Do you understand me?” There was an over-amplified edge of dominance to my tone, one that I knew came from being here. In this place.
She fixed her gaze on the floor, embodying the perfect submissive response. I raised my eyebrows when she took a step forward and lowered to her knees.
“Yes, sir,” she said.
I rolled my eyes.
Oh, what the fucking hell.
“Get off the floor, Sasha. I’m not your damn master.”
Her hand moved to my thigh and she chanced a glance up at me. Her eyes burned with need. I recognized the look. She was hungry, desperate to be dominated. However, I also knew her. She didn’t crave me, but craved brutality. If she didn’t get it from me, she would just move on to the next available Dom.
She shifted closer to me, her fingers coming dangerously close to my groin.
“Alex, we were good together. We could be again.”
I looked away, not feeling a thing for the woman at my feet. She was pathetic and I wondered how I could have ever been with someone as spineless as her.
“That was a long time ago, Sasha. A very long time ago.”
“I know what you like. Let me be the one to give it to you,” she persisted.
I glanced down at the hand that still rested on my lap. Even in my semi-drunk state, I knew I didn’t want her. Not at all. But I did want to forget. To escape. She moved to slide into the booth next to me, her leather corset feeling hard and cold against my side.
“You’re in my seat,” said a familiar voice.
I looked up and saw Krystina hovering over the booth. A feeling of disbelief crashed over me, wondering how she tracked me here or how she managed to get through security. She looked beautiful standing there, with her hands on her hips and her eyes flashing. For a moment, it was as if everyone in the club had disappeared. All I could see was Krystina.
My angel.
That thought brought my reality to the forefront. I was the devil and I didn’t deserve an angel. I scanned her up and down. Her casual attire was a stark contrast to Sasha’s, as well as to every other woman in the place. It was another reminder of how good Krystina was. Too good for someone like me. She didn’t belong here.
I saw her eyes dart down to Sasha’s hand. It was still on my lap. Instinctively, I wanted to explain that it wasn’t what it looked like. I wanted to tell her that I hadn’t touched Sasha, nor did I even want her. My heart constricted from the accusation written plainly on her face. However, I didn’t have the energy to explain anything to anyone. Even to her.
Don’t feel. Just let her go.
It would be best if I let her make assumptions about the scene before her. It would give her an out from my fucked-up life. Krystina deserved better than me. The sooner she realized it, the better off she’d be.
“What are you doing here?” I asked coolly, leaning back and draping my arm casually across the back of the booth.
“I could ask you the same thing!” she lashed out, her eyes flashing angrily.
I looked over at Sasha. She sat in silence, waiting to for my response. She almost looked smug, as if she thought I would choose her over Krystina. The idea was almost laughable. She repulsed me.
“Get lost, Sasha,” I told her. A pang of hurt momentarily shadowed her face, but she quickly recovered and got to her feet.
Walking over to Krystina, she leaned in and whispered something to her. I didn’t know what she said, but Krystina’s eyes widened until her expression became murderous. Her hands balled into fists as she pulled back to meet Sasha’s gaze. For a moment, I thought Krystina might actually slap her. She didn’t, but she did give her the iciest glare I’d ever seen her give anyone.
“You are nothing to him,” Krystina hissed and jabbed a finger hard into Sasha’s shoulder. Then she pivo
ted and slid into the space next to me where Sasha had vacated. Krystina stared hard at Sasha, almost challenging, yet clearly staking her claim. Sasha glared back at her momentarily, before laughing cruelly at her own private joke. She sauntered away with her hips swaying melodramatically in her wake.
“Well, now that was amusing. I thought I was about to have a cat fight on my hands. It could have been fun,” I said. My tone was aloof, yet mocking of the situation.
“Stop being a bastard and come home, Alex.”
“I’m not going home,” I told her and took a swig from my glass.
“You’re not yourself and it’s understandable after the day you had. However, I didn’t just spend the last fifteen minutes being groped and molested for nothing. Come home where it’s quiet and we’ll talk.”
My fingers clenched around my glass at her statement, tightening so much that I thought it might shatter in my hands.
What does she mean by groped and molested? To think that some asshole in here thought he had the right to…
I looked at her wrist.
“Fuck, Krystina! You came in here without a bracelet? Are you stupid?”
She tilted her chin in defiance and I could almost visualize the steel rod running down her back.
“Not stupid. Worried. About you, dammit! I just forgot about the bracelet thing. It doesn’t matter. I’m fine. You, on the other hand, are not. We can either go home and work through this, or we can talk it out right here in this...” she paused and waved her arm around angrily, her face grimacing in disgust as she motioned to the surrounding area. “In this fucking club. Take your pick, but I’d prefer to talk anywhere but here.”
“I already told you. I’m not leaving.”
She narrowed her eyes and glowered at me. I could almost see the steam furiously billowing from her ears.
“Fine,” she bit out. “Have it your way. We’ll talk here.”
Krystina began to speak, her voice droning on and on amidst the loud music of the club, explaining everything that Justine and Hale told her. I was listening, but yet I wasn’t. Her words seemed to fade in and out. Whether it was because my mind was clouded from drink or because I was in denial, I couldn’t be sure.
Hale was only protecting us.
Following my grandfather’s wishes.
Justine killed my father.
My mother was alive.
I didn’t know if I was happy or sad about having the answers I had been in search of for so long. I didn’t know what to feel at all about it. I didn’t even care that Krystina was talking about it so openly and publically. Rather than respond to anything she was saying, I swallowed the last of my drink and signaled the waitress for another.
When she brought it, Krystina snatched it from my hand.
“No,” she snapped.
“Give that to me,” I ordered harshly.
“You’re not getting drunk, Alex. I won’t let you.”
“Too late, baby. I’m well on my way.”
Her chocolate eyes gleamed with unshed tears, but I ignored them and wrestled the drink back from her. Amber liquid sloshed over the side of the glass, coating my hand and dripping onto the table. I looked at her as I slowly licked my fingers clean, eyeing her frostily as I did it.
“Why are you doing this?” she whispered.
“Because I can. It’s who I am.”
“You really do think that you’re just like him, don’t you? Look at you, trying to prove a point by fulfilling some stupid destiny that you conjured up. Sitting here in this club, getting drunk, acting like you’re some big bad dominant. Well, I’ve got news for you. Your behavior right now is anything but dominant. It’s weak, Stone.”
“The name’s Russo. And it is high time I accept who and what I am.”
“You’re talking nonsense because you had too much to drink. This isn’t you,” she denied, shaking her head.
“It’s not nonsense. It’s the truth. You know it as well as I do,” I spat out bitterly. “It’s time for you to leave. I came here tonight to move on, and there’s a whole slew of women out there ready to make me forget.”
I said it deliberately to hurt her. To make her leave this place. However, I didn’t anticipate the rage that boiled up in her, so hot and fast, I didn’t even see it coming. In one swift motion, she slapped me square across the face. My cheek stung from where her palm connected with my face, leaving me momentarily stunned. However, I recovered quickly when I saw her hand rise again. I caught her wrist in the air and gripped it tight.
“Don’t,” I growled.
“You asked for it!”
“Do you really think you know me, Krystina? You want to go to a quiet place to talk,” I said mockingly. “You don’t want me alone in a quiet room. You don’t know what I’m capable of. What’s inside me, just waiting to come out. Keep pushing me and I will break you.”
Her obstinate chin tilted upward again. Her eyes were still glazed with tears, but her expression was full of defiance as she stared me down.
“I dare you to try.”
33
krystina
Alexander led me down a dark corridor and shoved me roughly through a door near the end. After a quick glance around, my eyes widened in horror. A bed covered in black sheets sat ominously in the middle of the shadowed room, with a wooden grate of sorts hanging above it from the ceiling. Restraints lined the walls, along with a slew of other BDSM paraphernalia that I only vaguely had time to process before I heard the door slam behind me.
I snapped to attention when I heard the click of a lock. I spun around to face Alexander, feeling beyond infuriated for the way he manhandled me. I was about to go off, but stopped when I saw his face. It was dark. Menacing.
“You wanted someplace private? Someplace quiet? Well, here you have it,” he growled as he moved toward me.
Before I could process what he was doing, he rushed at me. I went to take a step back, but he grabbed both of my wrists and pinned them behind me with one hand. With his other, he gripped my neck, spun me around, and shoved my chest hard against the concrete wall. I could feel his erection pressed up against my ass. I probably should have been afraid, but I wasn’t. I was just royally pissed. This wasn’t him. This wasn’t my Alexander. And if he thought I would allow him to treat me like this, he had another thing coming.
With my face was pressed against the wall, I tried to wiggle free. I couldn’t budge in his hold.
“Get off me,” I hissed.
“No,” he said into my ear, pushing his groin harder against me.
“Is this what it’s come to, Alex? Am I just another random whore from your club? If that’s how you want to treat me, then have at it!” I yelled.
His hold on me slackened at my words. Taking advantage of the opportunity, I pulled my wrists free and spun back around to face him. His face was only inches away from mine as I stared up at him. The smell of liquor was hot and pungent on his breath. His eyes were hallowed and dark, his chest rising and falling at an erratic pace.
I pushed against his chest, needing to find space, but I may have been trying to move a brick wall. He laughed at my feeble attempt, but took a small step back. Grasping my upper arms, he looked me up and down, like he was trying to decide on what he wanted to do with me.
“Get undressed,” he finally ordered.
Oh, hell no! Drunk or not, he’s out of his fucking mind!
But I didn’t voice the words, as I didn’t want to provoke him further. His fury was of the likes that I had never seen before. I knew why he wanted me to undress. He wanted to fuck away his anger. I even briefly contemplated doing as he wanted, knowing that a quick roll might simmer his temper down a bit. However, as fast as it passed through my head, I quickly dismissed it. Sex wouldn’t fix our problems – not this time. Giving in would be a mistake.
Instead, I tilted my chin up stubbornly to show my refusal. He was trying to prove a point by scaring me. It stung that he would stoop so low but, little did he know, I wasn�
��t afraid. I knew the man beyond the façade. He would not hurt me.
“No, Alex. If you want me shackled to a wall, I’ll be more than happy to oblige another day. I’ll even help you secure the goddamn chains. But it definitely won’t be happening today. Not like this.”
He didn’t respond, but wrapped his hand around my ponytail and tugged. Hard. He brought his lips to the shell of my ear and whispered, his voice sounding broken and raspy.
“Why did you come here? You saw my mother’s scar. He did that. I am capable of doing the same. Why are you tempting me?”
All my anger fell away at his words. The man I had fallen in love with, this powerful, physical, and captivating man, was allowing himself to be made small by things he had no control over. I knew in my heart that he was wrong, but I just didn’t know how to convince him otherwise. All my efforts to try to be there for him, to be his safe place, seemed to be in vain. Tears rushed to my eyes, falling in hot streaks down my cheeks.
“Alexander. Please,” I sobbed. “This isn’t you. I know it isn’t.”
He pulled back and stared at me long and hard, before eventually releasing his hold on me completely. His arms dropped to his sides and he took a few steps back.
“Go, Krystina. Get out of here. You don’t belong here. In this place. In my fucked-up world. With me.”
“I’m not going anywhere.”
He staggered and, for the first time, I realized exactly how drunk he was.
“I said get out. Don’t make this harder than it has to be. This is never going to work. I was foolish to believe that I could have anything normal with you. Just go. Find another man to give you what you deserve.”
Moving to the corner of the room, he collapsed down into a plush black velvet armchair. Bracing his elbows on his knees, he held his head between his hands. He looked defeated, but I refused to let him go down this easily.
I looked around the strange and foreign room, located in a place that was all too familiar. It was here, at Club O, that Alexander and I experienced the beginning of the end. While we eventually made our way back to each other, I had pushed him to his hard limit that night.
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